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(MSN)   'How can I tell my high-earning friends I can't afford to do something?'   (msn.com) divider line
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326 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 27 Jun 2022 at 10:25 AM (7 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-06-27 9:57:41 AM  
Friends The One with Five Steaks and Eqqplant splitting Money
Youtube EYb9jnt2cv4
 
2022-06-27 11:00:06 AM  
This is only a problem if you have friends.
 
2022-06-27 11:03:05 AM  
Conversation I had in college.

Guy I knew who drove brand new Grand Cherokee:  Hey, we're going to the bar.
Me:  I can't go.  I don't have any money.
Cherokee Guy:  Then go to the ATM.
Me:  That won't work.  There's no money for me to get.
Cherokee Guy:  (puzzled face)  Then tell your parents to put more money in.
Me:  That won't work and I don't want my dad laughing at me so I'm not going to ask.
 
2022-06-27 11:05:32 AM  
Do what I do and tell them you cannot afford to do whatever it is they want to do
 
2022-06-27 11:10:29 AM  
c.tenor.comView Full Size

"Friends, I am not able to go do that because I cannot afford it."
 
2022-06-27 11:18:51 AM  
Don't show up
 
2022-06-27 11:20:53 AM  
I came here to comment that this was a Friends episode. Done in one.

leaving satisfied

/wipes hands on pants
 
2022-06-27 11:24:14 AM  
Pretty much you say "I can't afford this so I'm not going."
 
2022-06-27 11:25:13 AM  
Come up with an alibi?
 
2022-06-27 11:41:06 AM  

WTFDYW: Do what I do and tell them you cannot afford to do whatever it is they want to do


You have mastered speaking with people.  Amazing how people can't do just that.
Look if your broke your friends know your broke and its not going to shock them.
Sucks to not be able to do everything they do but that's just life and they will be there when it is things you can afford.
I have friends who are broke and I have friends who are very wealthy and we all hang out time to time.  End of the day I have more fun with the broke ones because they can squeeze more fun out of the most mundane things as opposed to the rich ones who its all about status and being seen.
From my experience broke friends are also more likely to help out of you need a hand with something.
 
2022-06-27 11:43:09 AM  
Say you'll be busy having your anal glands expressed that day.
 
2022-06-27 11:43:45 AM  
Boink their dads. Be sure to sed them a nice card every Thanksgiving after that, "Say hi to your dad for me."
 
2022-06-27 11:45:25 AM  

ctighe2353: WTFDYW: Do what I do and tell them you cannot afford to do whatever it is they want to do

You have mastered speaking with people.  Amazing how people can't do just that.
Look if your broke your friends know your broke and its not going to shock them.
Sucks to not be able to do everything they do but that's just life and they will be there when it is things you can afford.
I have friends who are broke and I have friends who are very wealthy and we all hang out time to time.  End of the day I have more fun with the broke ones because they can squeeze more fun out of the most mundane things as opposed to the rich ones who its all about status and being seen.
From my experience broke friends are also more likely to help out of you need a hand with something.


And this person does not fall under the classification of a friend
"But Natasha's friend would rather not meet up at all than go somewhere cheap or free"
If they would rather not see you than go to an expensive place your less important than her percieved status.
 
2022-06-27 11:53:11 AM  
This happened to me in grad school.  I had never been on a Spring break trip (couldn't afford it) and so my two roomies invited me along to FLA. I initially said yes but quickly reversed as soon I realized how much it was gonna cost.  I honestly didn't want to ruin a good time for them, and also didn't want to take out another student loan just for a fleeting good time for me.
 
2022-06-27 11:56:44 AM  
I knew a guy in college who talked endlessly about how he would inherit his grandfather's millions one day. (He eventually did.) Drove a brand new Jeep (that he drove like an idiot). He never had a job. (I always did.) Whenever we bought a pizza, or weed, or beer, he complained that he had no money. He would beg and wheedle and plead, or simply wait till you weren't looking and then steal coontil he got smacked a few times). He was also a stringbean bowling-pin-shaped dweeb who subscribed to Soldier of Fortune and showed off various huge knives that he thought made him look tough (if he had guns, he kept them hidden, that would have gotten him booted, back when this country was still sane). He was such a total failure of a person that he made me look good in comparison. That took some doing.

It was clear to me that he simply had adopted a philosophy, probably instilled in him by his grandfather, never pay for anything if you can avoid it. Every time somebody else buys, you're a winner.
 
2022-06-27 11:58:24 AM  
"I'm not in that market."
 
2022-06-27 12:00:28 PM  
You owe no one an explanation. "I won't be going to that expensive restaurant/group trip/secret society orgy." That's all you need to say. You don't need to say cost is the issue. You don't need to supply anything at all.

"I'd prefer not to do X" is all they need, friend or family, if they care about your at all.
 
2022-06-27 12:01:40 PM  
So if you type a parens, and then the word until, Mommy thinks you're trying to say a naughty word.

This place is so sophsticated.
 
2022-06-27 12:27:58 PM  
When it's your turn to pick the activity, make sure it centers around sitting in your living room watching TV.
 
2022-06-27 12:50:20 PM  

Scanty Em: I knew a guy in college who talked endlessly about how he would inherit his grandfather's millions one day. (He eventually did.) Drove a brand new Jeep (that he drove like an idiot). He never had a job. (I always did.) Whenever we bought a pizza, or weed, or beer, he complained that he had no money. He would beg and wheedle and plead, or simply wait till you weren't looking and then steal coontil he got smacked a few times). He was also a stringbean bowling-pin-shaped dweeb who subscribed to Soldier of Fortune and showed off various huge knives that he thought made him look tough (if he had guns, he kept them hidden, that would have gotten him booted, back when this country was still sane). He was such a total failure of a person that he made me look good in comparison. That took some doing.

It was clear to me that he simply had adopted a philosophy, probably instilled in him by his grandfather, never pay for anything if you can avoid it. Every time somebody else buys, you're a winner.


Did he grow up to become the worst president in USA history?
 
2022-06-27 12:50:31 PM  
3.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size
 
2022-06-27 1:23:58 PM  
"I can't afford it unless you're paying for my flight and hotel."


I've got friends who make 10 times what I do. They also are completely aware that they make 10 times what I do so they usually outright offer up front to pay.  I do the same thing with friends and family who can't afford something I can.  It's that simple.

It's called having a friend that you enjoy spending time with so you make sure it happens.
 
2022-06-27 2:19:04 PM  
this again?!?

grow the fark up and tell them you can't afford it.
 
2022-06-27 2:38:42 PM  

tom baker's scarf: this again?!?

grow the fark up and tell them you can't afford it.


I know right, life is not a sitcom!

Shout out to my buddy Aaron from college, not crazy rich but was better off and would eat out quite a bit. He bought me quite a few meals knowing I could rarely fit that in my budget, but I didn't ask and paid when I could. Even as a kid that episode of friends just seemed so dumb, real friends are aware of each other's life situations!
 
2022-06-27 3:00:08 PM  

Bannanaslug: tom baker's scarf: this again?!?

grow the fark up and tell them you can't afford it.

I know right, life is not a sitcom!

Shout out to my buddy Aaron from college, not crazy rich but was better off and would eat out quite a bit. He bought me quite a few meals knowing I could rarely fit that in my budget, but I didn't ask and paid when I could. Even as a kid that episode of friends just seemed so dumb, real friends are aware of each other's life situations!


One of my roommates dad was like this, every time he came up to visit his son, he took everyone who was in the apartment out to lunch/dinner. He figured that whatever it cost him to pay for those meals was worth it for the chance to have fun with his kid. He was just a generally cool dude.
 
2022-06-27 3:06:42 PM  
I make a fairly large amount of money. When I want to do something and my friends can't afford it, I pay for them, because I like doing things with my friends and I'm not a greedy douchebag. Sounds like someone needs better friends.
 
2022-06-27 3:32:46 PM  
I was leaving a job some years ago and told my pals, hey let's go out to lunch on my last day. I naturally assumed I'd pay. Two of the guys were perfectly happy with that; a third got very weird, screwed up his face in distaste and said, "I don't need anybody to buy my lunch." It made the whole thing very awkward. Today, I would say, "Yes, I'm aware you don't need anybody to buy your lunch. Just as you don't need anybody to buy you Christmas presents. It was a gesture toward people I have come to consider friends. It wasn't an attempt to demean you." Though I'm sure he still would have just repeated the same words. He was a little odd.
 
2022-06-27 3:35:22 PM  

Rapmaster2000: Conversation I had in college.

Guy I knew who drove brand new Grand Cherokee:  Hey, we're going to the bar.
Me:  I can't go.  I don't have any money.
Cherokee Guy:  Then go to the ATM.
Me:  That won't work.  There's no money for me to get.
Cherokee Guy:  (puzzled face)  Then tell your parents to put more money in.
Me:  That won't work and I don't want my dad laughing at me so I'm not going to ask.


When we were just out of college Mrs. Scarf got an invite to be the bridesmaid for one of her friends.  I could tell she was holding something back though.

Me: so what is the problem?
Her: well the dress, jewelry, hair, shoes, makeup, etc. is going to cost ~ $1800 (in 2001 money and i know that was an underestimate).
Me: call her back and tell her no.
Her: i can't do that.
Me: yes you can because we can't put our hands on 1800+gift+travel+hotel, let alone afford it, and by the way neither can any of your friends so call her back and tell her no.
Her: I guess -  *calls next day*
Her: So it turns out the other girls called back and said they can't do it either so her dad is just going to pay for it all.

that crazy chick had 12 MFing bride's maids.  i made sure to run up the bar bill at the wedding.
 
2022-06-27 3:37:23 PM  
This happened to me all the time in college and through my 20s. My family didn't have a lot of money. I couldn't afford to go with my friends on Spring Break trips. They'd go on a cruise or to Mexico or whatever, and I'd stay home and work. After college I worked for a non-profit mental health organization. It was the late 90s and I was making a whopping $18,500 annually. On the weekends everyone would get together, get dinner, and then hit the bars. I always suggested this local Mexican place for dinner because a huge plate of food was only $8 and they had cheap margaritas. I think most of my friends (a good chunk of whom were in law school on mom & dad's dime) got the hint and tried to keep things low cost. But there was one guy... he knew what was up but was a jackass about it. He belittled me because I wasn't in law school like the rest of them and would make comments. One time he was bragging about making a ton of money day trading. People were skeptical, including me. After some back and forth with him he said to me, "Look, bottom line: I will make more money this month than you'll make in your entire lifetime." Long story short, here we are about 25 years later and he is unemployed, broke, living with his girlfriend. He dropped out of law school to day trade full time, the market collapsed, he lost everything, and he never recovered.

Anyhow, a small part of me wants to laugh at that, but I know what it's like to be broke, depressed, and feel like there's no way out. It's a dark place to be and I spent some time there. I'm unbelievably fortunate now and just grateful for that.
 
2022-06-27 3:40:21 PM  

Scanty Em: I was leaving a job some years ago and told my pals, hey let's go out to lunch on my last day. I naturally assumed I'd pay. Two of the guys were perfectly happy with that; a third got very weird, screwed up his face in distaste and said, "I don't need anybody to buy my lunch." It made the whole thing very awkward. Today, I would say, "Yes, I'm aware you don't need anybody to buy your lunch. Just as you don't need anybody to buy you Christmas presents. It was a gesture toward people I have come to consider friends. It wasn't an attempt to demean you." Though I'm sure he still would have just repeated the same words. He was a little odd.


Strange. Everywhere I've worked, the person leaving doesn't pay for their own farewell lunch. Unless there's someone high on the org chart who pays for everyone on the corp card, we split the check by N-1 and we treat the person leaving.
 
2022-06-27 3:40:27 PM  

bostonguy: [iFrame https://www.youtube.com/embed/EYb9jnt2cv4?autoplay=1&widget_referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.fark.com&start=0&enablejsapi=1&origin=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.fark.com&widgetid=1]


and they got the math wrong

6 people*$28=$168
$168/5people=33.6/person
 
2022-06-27 3:41:38 PM  

Rapmaster2000: Conversation I had in college.

Guy I knew who drove brand new Grand Cherokee:  Hey, we're going to the bar.
Me:  I can't go.  I don't have any money.
Cherokee Guy:  Then go to the ATM.
Me:  That won't work.  There's no money for me to get.
Cherokee Guy:  (puzzled face)  Then tell your parents to put more money in.
Me:  That won't work and I don't want my dad laughing at me so I'm not going to ask.


why didn't you just buy some more money?  duh.
 
2022-06-27 5:20:37 PM  
I work in higher education while a lot of my friends work in tech or finance or are engineers (or are married to someone that makes BANK). They all know that I don't make as much as them, so they are smart about what they plan to make sure that I can join in. Not that I can't afford a flight someplace or splurge from time to time, but they know that I can't do it as often as they do.

They also know that I'm not going to make a big deal out of something if I can't join in, but they don't plan things unless everyone can afford it.
 
2022-06-27 6:54:13 PM  
Give blowjobs in the parking lot until you have enough money.
Afterwards you can gargle with the free hand sanitizer every public place has so you you dont even have to buy mouthwash.
 
2022-06-27 8:02:25 PM  

mcmnky: You owe no one an explanation. "I won't be going to that expensive restaurant/group trip/secret society orgy." That's all you need to say. You don't need to say cost is the issue. You don't need to supply anything at all.

"I'd prefer not to do X" is all they need, friend or family, if they care about your at all.


You owe them an explanation is as far as you want them to remain friends though.

If you're going "I don't want to" every time they ask, and respond with the equivalent of "because I said so" when they ask why not, you'll soon be stopped to be asked to attend anything.

Like I said in another thread:
Friendships are conditional. Interactions with non-friends are where altruistic motives and not owing anyone explanations comes into play.
 
2022-06-27 8:34:05 PM  

Noah_Tall: It's called having a friend that you enjoy spending time with so you make sure it happens.


Yep. Real friends would know when you are broke and offer to pay.

And if you're not sharing that info with them, that's on you for not really being friends.
 
2022-06-28 3:15:10 AM  
Always split the bill. You pay what you can and they split the rest. For tickets etc, they "loan" you the money and you say you will pay them back. wink, wink, nudge, nudge. But they never ask for it.
If they are real friends.
 
2022-06-28 3:23:13 AM  

The Madd Mann: I make a fairly large amount of money. When I want to do something and my friends can't afford it, I pay for them, because I like doing things with my friends and I'm not a greedy douchebag. Sounds like someone needs better friends.


I had a friend like that. He was married and together they had twice the income of mine. Plus, when he would visit my area it was for work and he was getting per diem. He would always want to pay for everything. I could easy pay but he wanted to.
 
2022-06-28 3:51:14 AM  

bostonguy: [iFrame https://www.youtube.com/embed/EYb9jnt2cv4?autoplay=1&widget_referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.fark.com&start=0&enablejsapi=1&origin=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.fark.com&widgetid=1]


This reaffirms my idea that I have missed nothing by never watching Friends.
 
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