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(WSBTV)   One dead, one in surgery after shooting over a) a beautiful woman, b) a large amount of money, c) a mayo sandwich   (wsbtv.com) divider line
    More: Murica, Gun, Crime, Subway, Family Guy, Peter Griffin, violent crime, Interim Chief Of Police Darin Schierbaum, ridiculous nature of crime  
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3555 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Jun 2022 at 6:30 AM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2022-06-27 2:51:52 AM  
We clearly need more guns. Guns solve everything.
 
2022-06-27 3:26:08 AM  
i.redd.itView Full Size
 
2022-06-27 5:00:42 AM  
"It just breaks my heart, to know that someone has the audacity to point a weapon, and shoot someone for as little as too much mayonnaise on a sandwich," said Willie Glenn.

To be fair, they were also getting a Subway sandwich, so the situation was already tense. It makes me wonder whether the fights in the Old West were due to alcohol or merely everyone having to all eat the same crappy food and bad drinks at the one barely-qualifying restaurant / brothel in town. Again, basically just like a Subway.
 
2022-06-27 5:52:06 AM  
But "Constitutional Carry"
FML
 
2022-06-27 6:33:25 AM  

NewportBarGuy: We clearly need more guns. Guns solve everything.


If the Subway employees were armed, this never would have happened  would have happened anyway   gotten more people killed made the NRA a little richer
 
2022-06-27 6:35:16 AM  
Atlanta... too much mayonnaise results in a shooting...

I feel there are several jokes available to be made here, but I'll go with the safe one:

It turns out that "angry mayonnaise noises" are BLAM BLAM BLAM.
 
2022-06-27 6:36:44 AM  

koder: "It just breaks my heart, to know that someone has the audacity to point a weapon, and shoot someone for as little as too much mayonnaise on a sandwich," said Willie Glenn.

To be fair, they were also getting a Subway sandwich, so the situation was already tense. It makes me wonder whether the fights in the Old West were due to alcohol or merely everyone having to all eat the same crappy food and bad drinks at the one barely-qualifying restaurant / brothel in town. Again, basically just like a Subway.


Wait, this was a Subway? Well, the headline is an outright fabrication, then. Subway serves only goblin cum, not mayonnaise.
 
2022-06-27 6:36:45 AM  
It was actually Miracle Whip, which means the shooting was justified.
 
2022-06-27 6:37:58 AM  
I remember the days when condiments didn't lead to violence.

"real tomato ketchup Eddie?"

"nothing but the best."
 
2022-06-27 6:39:06 AM  
Are the gun and the crappy mayonnaise okay?
 
2022-06-27 6:40:18 AM  

aerojockey: It was actually Miracle Whip, which means the shooting was justified.


Ok cause...mayo, I mean I like mayo but it is not a universal thing in my culture. I mean who puts mayo on a gabbagool sandwich
 
2022-06-27 6:40:35 AM  
Guns don't kill people, people kill people.

Guns just make it easier for people to kill people, with less thought, over things that if they had to stop and find a weapon or take the time to do it with their fists there'd be time for other people to intervene.

But that doesn't fit on a bumper sticker or in the heads of stupid stupid people who need to f*ck their guns.
 
2022-06-27 6:40:48 AM  
See it wasn't the weapons. It's right there in the article!
Interim Chief Of Police Darin Schierbaum said arguments are the majority cause of homicides in 2022.
 
2022-06-27 6:43:05 AM  
I'd shoot someone for putting even a drop of mayo on my sandwich so I completely understand. It's offense that cannot  be tolerated.
 
2022-06-27 6:43:51 AM  
th.bing.comView Full Size

D. all of the above.
Take lettuce sandwich, see above, add green colored paper currency of the USA and serve with a side of mayo.
Don't forget the beautiful woman.
 
2022-06-27 6:45:54 AM  
Ever have a sandwich from Jersey Mike's? It would be justified for said sandwich.
 
2022-06-27 6:46:32 AM  
Is there some new chemical in our environment or something? Remember how violent crime was steadily decreasing since the removal of lead from gasoline? Why is it ticking up again, and with seemingly increasing cray cray?
 
2022-06-27 6:46:55 AM  
Sometimes it's tough to know when enough condiment is enough.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-06-27 6:47:41 AM  

aerojockey: It was actually Miracle Whip, which means the shooting was justified.


Beat me to it.
 
2022-06-27 6:47:53 AM  
nothing beats the tangy zip of miracle whip
 
2022-06-27 6:48:45 AM  

Gyrfalcon: But that doesn't fit on a bumper sticker or in the heads of stupid stupid people who need to f*ck their guns.


I say fark their guns. But not in the way that the ammosexuals do. What are these panicky, insecure 'Constitutional scholars' so afraid of?

Personally, I care as much about their right to pack heat as they do about every other Amendment.

So, not a damn bit.
 
2022-06-27 6:53:47 AM  

Sleeper_agent: Is there some new chemical in our environment or something? Remember how violent crime was steadily decreasing since the removal of lead from gasoline? Why is it ticking up again, and with seemingly increasing cray cray?


Because, and pay attention now, it wasn't removing lead from gasoline that was responsible for the downturn in crime. That was just an example of correlation without causation.

There were a lot of other things that happened during the 90s that caused violent crime to trend downward and it had almost nothing to do with young adults growing up free of lead in their gasoline. Sorry to pop that little balloon.
 
2022-06-27 6:55:46 AM  
Schierbaum feels that people should talk more and use guns less when it comes to handling disputes


I mean, you realize what country this is?
 
2022-06-27 6:56:46 AM  
A polite society
 
2022-06-27 6:58:50 AM  
i.imgflip.comView Full Size
 
2022-06-27 7:07:42 AM  

Black_Lazerus: aerojockey: It was actually Miracle Whip, which means the shooting was justified.

Ok cause...mayo, I mean I like mayo but it is not a universal thing in my culture. I mean who puts mayo on a gabbagool sandwich


Not when hot eggplants and peppers in oil are available thats for sure. Little provolone for a nice tangy and creamy finish....maron!
 
2022-06-27 7:08:02 AM  

Gyrfalcon: Sleeper_agent: Is there some new chemical in our environment or something? Remember how violent crime was steadily decreasing since the removal of lead from gasoline? Why is it ticking up again, and with seemingly increasing cray cray?

Because, and pay attention now, it wasn't removing lead from gasoline that was responsible for the downturn in crime. That was just an example of correlation without causation.

There were a lot of other things that happened during the 90s that caused violent crime to trend downward and it had almost nothing to do with young adults growing up free of lead in their gasoline. Sorry to pop that little balloon.


No, there is lots of evidence that strongly leans toward supporting my statement. This is still being studied and there are attempts at combing studies and data, but so far, it appears to be true.
 
2022-06-27 7:11:50 AM  

iheartscotch: Ever have a sandwich from Jersey Mike's? It would be justified for said sandwich.


I always wondered where to get a good said sandwich.
 
2022-06-27 7:13:52 AM  

Unobtanium: But "Constitutional Carry"
FML


The kind of people that shoot people over a sandwich aren't the kind of people allowed to own firearms.
 
2022-06-27 7:18:15 AM  
So far.

That's the toll so far.

But with a sandwhich like that--that's already killed?

And it's still out there.
 
2022-06-27 7:18:56 AM  
CLAIRE, NO!
 
2022-06-27 7:20:04 AM  
The Mayo Shooter was a good guy with a gun until he shot people, so gun laws wouldn't have helped.  So clearly we need to outlaw mayo.  There's nothing in the constitution about mayo, you know.
 
2022-06-27 7:26:50 AM  
So best case scenario, the shooter didn't get his sandwich remade, and he has to clean his firearm to boot.

How did that decision work out for him?
 
2022-06-27 7:27:34 AM  
That's why I prefer Little Caesars.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-06-27 7:29:09 AM  

frankb00th: Black_Lazerus: aerojockey: It was actually Miracle Whip, which means the shooting was justified.

Ok cause...mayo, I mean I like mayo but it is not a universal thing in my culture. I mean who puts mayo on a gabbagool sandwich

Not when hot eggplants and peppers in oil are available thats for sure. Little provolone for a nice tangy and creamy finish....maron!


I would rather eat a jar of mayo with a spoon than even look at your sandwich but it goes to show everyone has different tastes.
My #1 sandwich is a simple blimpies double meat, double cheese roast beef and American with mayo hot.
Never been big on food, once I find something I like in a food category I don't usually venture far from it.   I have spent most my life thinking eating is just a waste of time... still do most of the time, it's just fuel.  Not surprisingly I'm a healthy weight which is pretty easy when your active and not obsessed with food...

/off to see if any blimpies still exist
 
2022-06-27 7:29:14 AM  
That is why i never get supreme tacos at taco bell. If a taco comes with sour cream, it will just be a taco shell full of sour cream and nothing else.
 
2022-06-27 7:29:45 AM  

NewportBarGuy: We clearly need more guns. Guns solve everything.


The shooter killed someone over Mayo on a sandwich. But lets blame it on guns, because guns are to blame for everything. Because I'm sure the shooter would have never had access to a gun if there were just enough laws in place. How about if we put the blame where it belongs, and that would be human behavior.
 
2022-06-27 7:30:59 AM  

Sorelian's Ghost: I remember the days when condiments didn't lead to violence.

"real tomato ketchup Eddie?"

"nothing but the best."


You don't remember all the salsa lynchings of the late 80s and early 90s? Sounds like someone needs to... pick up the pace... on their news reading.

/YEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!
 
2022-06-27 7:32:20 AM  

hardinparamedic: [i.redd.it image 850x1295]


Dude, I don't think that's mayo or Miracle Whip. That sh*t looks like skin moisturizer.
 
2022-06-27 7:32:55 AM  
That's why you don't deserve guns, you gun-worshipping wankers.
 
2022-06-27 7:34:29 AM  

phooeypapa: NewportBarGuy: We clearly need more guns. Guns solve everything.

The shooter killed someone over Mayo on a sandwich. But lets blame it on guns, because guns are to blame for everything. Because I'm sure the shooter would have never had access to a gun if there were just enough laws in place. How about if we put the blame where it belongs, and that would be human behavior.


STFU idiot, we tried it your way and IT DOES NOT WORK
 
2022-06-27 7:34:30 AM  
I bet the shooter was upset that Subway wasn't using Duke's mayonnaise. You can only use Duke's in the southeast. It's the law.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-06-27 7:37:22 AM  

ferrarious: phooeypapa: NewportBarGuy: We clearly need more guns. Guns solve everything.

The shooter killed someone over Mayo on a sandwich. But lets blame it on guns, because guns are to blame for everything. Because I'm sure the shooter would have never had access to a gun if there were just enough laws in place. How about if we put the blame where it belongs, and that would be human behavior.

STFU idiot, we tried it your way and IT DOES NOT WORK


Look for them on the TV after a mass shooting. They're the ones crying the loudest about the govt should do something. We need to learn to point and laugh.
 
2022-06-27 7:50:36 AM  

phooeypapa: NewportBarGuy: We clearly need more guns. Guns solve everything.

The shooter killed someone over Mayo on a sandwich. But lets blame it on guns, because guns are to blame for everything. Because I'm sure the shooter would have never had access to a gun if there were just enough laws in place. How about if we put the blame where it belongs, and that would be human behavior.


How about both? Obviously there's a human element at play.  But as I've said time and again, if people are the problem, why would you give guns to the problem? "They'll just find another way". Yeah, but pretty much every other heat-of-the-moment way is either a) significantly less lethal, b) significantly easier to escape and/or defend against, or c) both. I'll take "find another way" over "let them have guns" every day of the week and twice on Sundays. And so would you because you know without even having to give it a seconds worth of thought that you'd like your odds exponentially better if your would-be attacker had to find something other than a gun to use against you.
 
2022-06-27 7:57:52 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-06-27 7:59:55 AM  
Well, it's good to know they got that settled then.
 
2022-06-27 8:02:20 AM  

Singleballtheory: phooeypapa: NewportBarGuy: We clearly need more guns. Guns solve everything.

The shooter killed someone over Mayo on a sandwich. But lets blame it on guns, because guns are to blame for everything. Because I'm sure the shooter would have never had access to a gun if there were just enough laws in place. How about if we put the blame where it belongs, and that would be human behavior.

How about both? Obviously there's a human element at play.  But as I've said time and again, if people are the problem, why would you give guns to the problem? "They'll just find another way". Yeah, but pretty much every other heat-of-the-moment way is either a) significantly less lethal, b) significantly easier to escape and/or defend against, or c) both. I'll take "find another way" over "let them have guns" every day of the week and twice on Sundays. And so would you because you know without even having to give it a seconds worth of thought that you'd like your odds exponentially better if your would-be attacker had to find something other than a gun to use against you.


What magic wand do you have that will take guns away from criminals?
 
2022-06-27 8:04:05 AM  

Katwang: I bet the shooter was upset that Subway wasn't using Duke's mayonnaise. You can only use Duke's in the southeast. It's the law.
[Fark user image 425x425]


My sister-in-law uses Dukes. We're in Michigan, so she would buy it when they went to North Carolina a few times a year--I don't know if you can buy it here or not, but at the time you couldn't. I tried it once--it's farking nasty. I don't know if it's not quite blended well enough, or just a different formulation than what I'm used to, but it was gross.
 
2022-06-27 8:06:58 AM  

phooeypapa: NewportBarGuy: We clearly need more guns. Guns solve everything.

The shooter killed someone over Mayo on a sandwich. But lets blame it on guns, because guns are to blame for everything. Because I'm sure the shooter would have never had access to a gun if there were just enough laws in place. How about if we put the blame where it belongs, and that would be human behavior.


You mean American behavior.  Other humans don't have this problem.  Wouldn't it be easier to take the guns out of the equation than to change behavior?  Nobody has any ideas about how to change behavior anyway, so let's get rid of the guns.  If the Mayo Shooter hadn't had a gun, how  many people would have been shot?
 
2022-06-27 8:08:56 AM  
People also love margarine as well. There's an obsession for some folks for veggie oil based goods.
 
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