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    More: PSA, Toilet, Toilet paper, Defecation, Toilets, horror of an empty toilet paper dispenser, stream of water, Hygiene, Feces  
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3143 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Jun 2022 at 12:02 PM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



70 Comments     (+0 »)
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2022-06-25 9:27:42 AM  
Or, you know, confirm that there is paper before you let it rip.
 
2022-06-25 10:01:02 AM  
That's what the hole between the stalls is for
 
2022-06-25 10:06:17 AM  
everythingsouthcity.comView Full Size
 
2022-06-25 11:01:38 AM  
DIY Bidet is my Butthole Surfers coverband name
 
2022-06-25 11:30:58 AM  
c.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2022-06-25 12:05:29 PM  
Who doesn't farking check for paper before they sit down at a public toilet? Complete idiots, that's who.

/same goes for checking that the toilet seat is down
 
2022-06-25 12:05:32 PM  
Isn't that what the three shells are for?
 
2022-06-25 12:06:21 PM  
"so did you use a dollar to wipe?"

"Yup."

"Then why are your hands covered in shiat? You used a dollar bill?"

"Oh, all I had was 3 quarters, 2 dimes, and a nickel"
 
2022-06-25 12:06:30 PM  

Russ1642: Who doesn't farking check for paper before they sit down at a public toilet? Complete idiots, that's who.

/same goes for checking that the toilet seat is down


Like, do you not use the toilet paper to wipe down the seat first because people are animals?  That should give you a clue whether there's TP for wiping afterwards.
 
2022-06-25 12:08:24 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-06-25 12:09:00 PM  
i.chzbgr.comView Full Size
 
2022-06-25 12:09:34 PM  
I'm pretty sure that I'd sooner wash my asshole with my bare hand in toilet water (after flushing, obviously) before I sacrificed any of my clothing. I can wash my hands. I can't do anything with a sh*tty sock except throw it away, and now I'm down a sock.
 
2022-06-25 12:10:38 PM  
external-content.duckduckgo.comView Full Size
 
2022-06-25 12:12:18 PM  
This is the real argument for socks
 
2022-06-25 12:12:50 PM  
limitlessfreshbukkakenotions.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
 
2022-06-25 12:12:58 PM  

austerity101: I'm pretty sure that I'd sooner wash my asshole with my bare hand in toilet water (after flushing, obviously) before I sacrificed any of my clothing. I can wash my hands. I can't do anything with a sh*tty sock except throw it away, and now I'm down a sock.


Wash. Rinse. Flush. Repeat.
 
2022-06-25 12:13:24 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


From the article, ishe seems to be channeling  Khaby Lame.

KateHJeff Somers
6/23/22 2:39pm

Or you could just check to see if the TP is empty before you sit down.
 
2022-06-25 12:15:05 PM  
Around a quarter of the world's population...
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-06-25 12:15:24 PM  

Summoner101: Russ1642: Who doesn't farking check for paper before they sit down at a public toilet? Complete idiots, that's who.

/same goes for checking that the toilet seat is down

Like, do you not use the toilet paper to wipe down the seat first because people are animals?  That should give you a clue whether there's TP for wiping afterwards.


Also, always lay down a few squares on the water so it doesn't splash up onto your ass.
 
2022-06-25 12:17:06 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-06-25 12:17:38 PM  
That's why I have packets of flushable water wipes -in my car, my bike saddle bag, etc.
 
2022-06-25 12:18:15 PM  

LewDux: [external-content.duckduckgo.com image 474x249]


Oh....NOW I get it
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-06-25 12:18:21 PM  
I wanna quote a certain basement worker from an office movie, but there's enough violence going on around here lately.
 
2022-06-25 12:19:19 PM  
Anything is toilet paper if you're brave enough.
 
2022-06-25 12:22:14 PM  

EBN-OZN: Anything is toilet paper if you're brave enough.


PAIGE NO!
 
2022-06-25 12:24:06 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-06-25 12:25:24 PM  
I was at my church's rec center. I had to run to the bathroom. It was an exigent situation. Shame was successfully avoided. Then I saw that there was no TP. I was six years old with no experience in this situation. Options weighed, I sacrificed my socks (the job required both). Thank God the socks were small and thin so I didn't jack-up the plumbing.
 
2022-06-25 12:27:10 PM  

TofuTheAlmighty: splash up onto your ass


preview.redd.itView Full Size
 
2022-06-25 12:27:15 PM  
Used to carry a pack of tp from c-rations.  Saved my ass a few times.
 
2022-06-25 12:27:20 PM  

TofuTheAlmighty: Summoner101: Russ1642: Who doesn't farking check for paper before they sit down at a public toilet? Complete idiots, that's who.

/same goes for checking that the toilet seat is down

Like, do you not use the toilet paper to wipe down the seat first because people are animals?  That should give you a clue whether there's TP for wiping afterwards.

Also, always lay down a few squares on the water so it doesn't splash up onto your ass.


What? And deny myself the Kiss of Poseidon??
 
2022-06-25 12:28:48 PM  

TofuTheAlmighty: Summoner101: Russ1642: Who doesn't farking check for paper before they sit down at a public toilet? Complete idiots, that's who.

/same goes for checking that the toilet seat is down

Like, do you not use the toilet paper to wipe down the seat first because people are animals?  That should give you a clue whether there's TP for wiping afterwards.

Also, always lay down a few squares on the water so it doesn't splash up onto your ass.


Wtf do you drop in there? Depth charges?
 
2022-06-25 12:30:52 PM  

buravirgil: Around a quarter of the world's population...
[Fark user image 850x471]


A solid portion also use this:

upload.wikimedia.orgView Full Size
 
2022-06-25 12:31:24 PM  
From one day to the next, alternating between "the government can regulate everything" to "the government can't regulate anything" is giving me whiplash.
 
2022-06-25 12:31:42 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

Can't have a poop thread without.
 
2022-06-25 12:32:04 PM  
Dear god was that a thread mispost.
 
2022-06-25 12:33:36 PM  

ImpendingCynic: From one day to the next, alternating between "the government can regulate everything" to "the government can't regulate anything" is giving me whiplash.


This thread has already been to the sh***er, so this fits
 
2022-06-25 12:34:54 PM  
ALWAYS check before you sit.
 
TWX
2022-06-25 12:35:32 PM  
Stranded (to the tune of the theme to the television series, "Branded")

Stranded.
Stranded on a toilet bowl.
What do you do when you're stranded...
...and you can't reach a roll.

You can prove you're a man if you wipe with your hand,
then we'll know...

you were stranded.
Stranded on a toilet bowl.
What do you do when you're stranded...
...and you can't reach a roll.
 
2022-06-25 12:42:18 PM  
Q: if you use a bidet, don't you have to dry yourself before pulling your pants back up?   How does that work?
 
2022-06-25 12:45:14 PM  
To the "why don't you check first" poopers. IBS is a biatch. Before the discovery of the low FODMAP diet there were times when stopping to look would have meant shiatting myself.

I always carry a travel pouch of Kleenex and know where the closest public toilet is.
 
2022-06-25 12:48:05 PM  
Wipe with your left hand, eat with your right hand?
 
2022-06-25 12:48:23 PM  
Bidet? that's an European thing.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-06-25 1:04:20 PM  
Start calling Victoria's secret about their return policy..

Why assume guys.
...
But lol..
Sock it.
 
2022-06-25 1:12:42 PM  
i.etsystatic.comView Full Size


Some of the best advice I garnered from Chicken Soup For The A-hole.
 
2022-06-25 1:13:08 PM  
CSSB: I grew up in a small town on Vancouver Island where we spent our summers tubing the lake and rivers and exploring the wilderness with packs of other feral children.

I doubt any of us ever went home for bed at night with a set of socks, we'd shiat in the bushes and wipe using the clothes that were available.

If you're ever out hiking around the Lake Cowichan area and come across any shiat stained single white and striped socks, pour a bit out for your homie Salmon..

/Cool shiat Story Bro
 
2022-06-25 1:14:33 PM  
Dumplestiltskin
Youtube 858a-HZesjE
 
2022-06-25 1:18:35 PM  
Here I sit in gassy vapor,
The guy next to me, stole my paper.
I have no time to sit and linger,
Lookout butt, here comes my finger.
 
2022-06-25 1:21:36 PM  

JasonOfOrillia: [i.chzbgr.com image 500x299]


TBH duct tape would probably be an upgrade from the 80 grit single ply TP we had in the Navy.
 
2022-06-25 1:26:16 PM  
I always carry a shovel with a roll of tp on the handle. More valuable than money when youre out where money cant buy you anything. Hence the oregon nickname "mountain money"...
 
2022-06-25 1:27:56 PM  
Vitalic - Second Lives (Official)
Youtube fuwRxha8zSU
 
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