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(Guardian)   Grindr has a new category for men who want you to get off their back   (theguardian.com) divider line
    More: Giggity, Homosexuality, Human sexual behavior, Human sexuality, gay men, lot of people, Sexual intercourse, Dr Joe Kort, Bisexuality  
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4839 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Jun 2022 at 9:35 AM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2022-06-23 8:47:23 AM  
Sides? So they're the green beans, French fries, and dinner salads of the gay world?
 
2022-06-23 9:17:00 AM  

Pocket Ninja: dinner salads of the gay world?


Tossed salads, I would assume?
 
2022-06-23 9:37:57 AM  

markie_farkie: Pocket Ninja: dinner salads of the gay world?

Tossed salads, I would assume?


Plenty of Ranch...
 
2022-06-23 9:43:46 AM  
Hey, Anything Goes.

You're the top - Cole Porter - Movie Sequence
Youtube IDMnnxHCXeg
 
2022-06-23 9:45:23 AM  

DORMAMU: markie_farkie: Pocket Ninja: dinner salads of the gay world?

Tossed salads, I would assume?

Plenty of Ranch...


But, only on the surface of the salad, not mixed in. Caesar salads are right out.
 
2022-06-23 9:51:02 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


Dude looks like he could be Jonathan Frakes' brother.
 
2022-06-23 9:52:29 AM  

markie_farkie: Pocket Ninja: dinner salads of the gay world?

Tossed salads, I would assume?


Scrambled Eggs.

Kelsey Grammer - Tossed Salads and Scrambled Eggs (Frasier Soundtrack)
Youtube dQx-H2av1PM
 
2022-06-23 9:53:16 AM  

Pocket Ninja: Sides? So they're the green beans, French fries, and dinner salads of the gay world?


Please, either spuds or pomme fritz, depending on how fancy you are
 
2022-06-23 9:54:50 AM  
The answer is not 'butt stuff.'
 
2022-06-23 9:55:39 AM  

markie_farkie: Pocket Ninja: dinner salads of the gay world?

Tossed salads, I would assume?


Greek salad?
 
2022-06-23 9:55:47 AM  
So dumb question...

Was LITERALLY NO ONE at Grindr gay!? Seriously, how the hell is this missed!?

Why do we keep putting people in charge of things who are absolutely clueless about the subject!?

/I'm projecting other things here. I farking hate my job today...
 
2022-06-23 9:57:16 AM  

Nurglitch: The answer is not 'butt stuff.'


The answer is always 'butt stuff.
 
2022-06-23 9:58:02 AM  
Can't we just agree that human beings like to do shiat to each other, full-stop? Why are we so worried about taxonomy?

I'm looking for:
Him
Her
Them
Penetration
Touching
Penis
Vagina
Ken-Doll
Talking
Licking
Meat-Lover's
Supreme
Extra Dippin' Sauce

Check all that apply. If you can find someone in the same ballpark, you can work out the details yourselves. If you're mature enough to look for someone to do these things, surely you're mature enough to be able to discuss it.
 
2022-06-23 10:00:00 AM  

ajgeek: So dumb question...

Was LITERALLY NO ONE at Grindr gay!? Seriously, how the hell is this missed!?

Why do we keep putting people in charge of things who are absolutely clueless about the subject!?

/I'm projecting other things here. I farking hate my job today...


Although coined in 2013, the term has only really started gaining traction in the past 2 or 3 years. Hell, this year alone, several people in communities I'm in have been like "oh! There's a term for me! A side!"
 
2022-06-23 10:00:16 AM  

chitownmike: Nurglitch: The answer is not 'butt stuff.'

The answer is always 'butt stuff.


Found the guy who originally programmed Grindr.
 
2022-06-23 10:01:59 AM  
manual and frictional body techniques

thefreshtoast.comView Full Size
 
2022-06-23 10:04:10 AM  

RobotSpider: Can't we just agree that human beings like to do shiat to each other, full-stop? Why are we so worried about taxonomy?

I'm looking for:
Him
Her
Them
Penetration
Touching
Penis
Vagina
Ken-Doll
Talking
Licking
Meat-Lover's
Supreme
Extra Dippin' Sauce

Check all that apply. If you can find someone in the same ballpark, you can work out the details yourselves. If you're mature enough to look for someone to do these things, surely you're mature enough to be able to discuss it.


And when the list doesn't include what you're looking for and only includes things that you do NOT want to look for, what do you check then?
 
2022-06-23 10:04:42 AM  
I'm a switch depending on the mood. Not on Grindr and it's weird to me they'd be so binary.
 
2022-06-23 10:05:32 AM  

ajgeek: Was LITERALLY NO ONE at Grindr gay!? Seriously, how the hell is this missed!?


It's kind of touched on by the article. This isn't an issue that a lot of gay people even realize is a thing because a lot of gays don't understand the concept of not being interested in anal sex.
 
2022-06-23 10:05:51 AM  

meanmutton: RobotSpider: Can't we just agree that human beings like to do shiat to each other, full-stop? Why are we so worried about taxonomy?

I'm looking for:
Him
Her
Them
Penetration
Touching
Penis
Vagina
Ken-Doll
Talking
Licking
Meat-Lover's
Supreme
Extra Dippin' Sauce

Check all that apply. If you can find someone in the same ballpark, you can work out the details yourselves. If you're mature enough to look for someone to do these things, surely you're mature enough to be able to discuss it.

And when the list doesn't include what you're looking for and only includes things that you do NOT want to look for, what do you check then?


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-06-23 10:09:24 AM  
Wait.... my husband said he was just looking for a local orthodontist.

You're telling me that app isn't pronounced "Grin Doctor"!?!?!?!?
 
2022-06-23 10:12:11 AM  

Pocket Ninja: Sides? So they're the green beans, French fries, and dinner salads of the gay world?


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-06-23 10:12:26 AM  

Ragin' Asian: I'm a switch depending on the mood. Not on Grindr and it's weird to me they'd be so binary.


I just opened Grindr for the first time in years (it's always so bot laden), and my profile has a position feature that is marked as "New." I hadn't even selected it.

Grindr's options are: Top, vers top, versatile, vers bottom, bottom, and Side.

To compare, Scruff has Top, Vers, Bottom, Oral Only, Fetish and No Sex.
 
2022-06-23 10:15:45 AM  

misanthropicsob: ajgeek: So dumb question...

Was LITERALLY NO ONE at Grindr gay!? Seriously, how the hell is this missed!?

Why do we keep putting people in charge of things who are absolutely clueless about the subject!?

/I'm projecting other things here. I farking hate my job today...

Although coined in 2013, the term has only really started gaining traction in the past 2 or 3 years. Hell, this year alone, several people in communities I'm in have been like "oh! There's a term for me! A side!"


That makes one sound like some mashed potatoes and peas or something.
 
2022-06-23 10:17:39 AM  

jso2897: misanthropicsob: ajgeek: So dumb question...

Was LITERALLY NO ONE at Grindr gay!? Seriously, how the hell is this missed!?

Why do we keep putting people in charge of things who are absolutely clueless about the subject!?

/I'm projecting other things here. I farking hate my job today...

Although coined in 2013, the term has only really started gaining traction in the past 2 or 3 years. Hell, this year alone, several people in communities I'm in have been like "oh! There's a term for me! A side!"

That makes one sound like some mashed potatoes and peas or something.


Didn't Pocket Ninja already make this joke at the top of the page?
 
2022-06-23 10:19:17 AM  

Nick Nostril: markie_farkie: Pocket Ninja: dinner salads of the gay world?

Tossed salads, I would assume?

Greek salad?


Definitely not a Caesar.

/some lesbian humor
//I'll see myself out
///in in the cooch
 
2022-06-23 10:22:51 AM  

misanthropicsob: Ragin' Asian: I'm a switch depending on the mood. Not on Grindr and it's weird to me they'd be so binary.

I just opened Grindr for the first time in years (it's always so bot laden), and my profile has a position feature that is marked as "New." I hadn't even selected it.

Grindr's options are: Top, vers top, versatile, vers bottom, bottom, and Side.

To compare, Scruff has Top, Vers, Bottom, Oral Only, Fetish and No Sex.


It's good that people can identify themselves as a waste of time.
 
2022-06-23 10:23:44 AM  

ajgeek: So dumb question... Was LITERALLY NO ONE at Grindr gay!? Seriously, how the hell is this missed!?


It was targeting a specific 'frequent casual encounter' subset of gays.  Not the broader market of no-nightclubs, not-every-Friday, rather-just-cuddle, get into long relationships, frequently bi guys.  And as others have already said, while there have always been a lot of them, they haven't really been 'named' much.
 
2022-06-23 10:26:08 AM  

misanthropicsob: Ragin' Asian: I'm a switch depending on the mood. Not on Grindr and it's weird to me they'd be so binary.

I just opened Grindr for the first time in years (it's always so bot laden), and my profile has a position feature that is marked as "New." I hadn't even selected it.

Grindr's options are: Top, vers top, versatile, vers bottom, bottom, and Side.

To compare, Scruff has Top, Vers, Bottom, Oral Only, Fetish and No Sex.


Scruff also let's you select more than one of those options. Which is also nice, so you can kind of define yourself more.

Now that being said, I do wish more people properly used the "I am" and "I'm into" categories.

Check the Twink box under I am, and dozens of men that aren't twinks pop up.
 
2022-06-23 10:26:08 AM  

misanthropicsob: Ragin' Asian: I'm a switch depending on the mood. Not on Grindr and it's weird to me they'd be so binary.

I just opened Grindr for the first time in years (it's always so bot laden), and my profile has a position feature that is marked as "New." I hadn't even selected it.

Grindr's options are: Top, vers top, versatile, vers bottom, bottom, and Side.

To compare, Scruff has Top, Vers, Bottom, Oral Only, Fetish and No Sex.


I took it to mean "versatile" covered "switch."

Also it's probably the same people on all the apps. If one app doesn't have your preferences on it, another probably will, and it's not likely you'll be missing much if you don't use a particular app. Of course if someone has 10 dating apps in active use I'd probably not be too keen on sleeping with them.

But there are plenty of guys who don't like to give or get it in the butt. I knew there were articles about this at least 15 years ago. Not sure why there wasn't a "no penetration" option. I guess maybe not selecting a choice under "Position" was considered good enough. I never really saw it as a problem because the chat option allowed people to work out details.
 
2022-06-23 10:26:12 AM  

Ragin' Asian: I'm a switch depending on the mood.


You just want to be turned on?

:P
 
2022-06-23 10:26:35 AM  

FarkingReading: misanthropicsob: Ragin' Asian: I'm a switch depending on the mood. Not on Grindr and it's weird to me they'd be so binary.

I just opened Grindr for the first time in years (it's always so bot laden), and my profile has a position feature that is marked as "New." I hadn't even selected it.

Grindr's options are: Top, vers top, versatile, vers bottom, bottom, and Side.

To compare, Scruff has Top, Vers, Bottom, Oral Only, Fetish and No Sex.

It's good that people can identify themselves as a waste of time.


To be fair, many gay guys are using Scruff as a meetup type app for hanging out and shiat (especially if they are don't / can't be around drinking).
 
2022-06-23 10:26:49 AM  
The idea that things are a spectrum has long alluded a large chunk of the US populace:
Yes, bi people exist.
Yes, switches exist.
Yes, plenty of people like to be on both ends of a given sex act.
 
2022-06-23 10:28:28 AM  
Somewhere near 75% of all the guys on these apps near me are sides and it's farking boring. Thank God it's the summer travel season with all those guys with hiker's bodies coming up my way.
 
2022-06-23 10:30:13 AM  

misanthropicsob: jso2897: misanthropicsob: ajgeek: So dumb question...

Was LITERALLY NO ONE at Grindr gay!? Seriously, how the hell is this missed!?

Why do we keep putting people in charge of things who are absolutely clueless about the subject!?

/I'm projecting other things here. I farking hate my job today...

Although coined in 2013, the term has only really started gaining traction in the past 2 or 3 years. Hell, this year alone, several people in communities I'm in have been like "oh! There's a term for me! A side!"

That makes one sound like some mashed potatoes and peas or something.

Didn't Pocket Ninja already make this joke at the top of the page?


Yes, and that was after the comedian they interviewed explicitly made the joke in the article too.
 
2022-06-23 10:34:55 AM  
Okay, that's cool, but you've always been able to just leave that field blank. It's nice that there's a name for it now, but Grindr has always had the option to be "none of the above."
 
2022-06-23 10:34:59 AM  
Not gay myself, but are many people really exclusively top or bottom? Seems like it would more commonly be "why not both"?
 
2022-06-23 10:36:58 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-06-23 10:37:30 AM  

Gleeman: Not gay myself, but are many people really exclusively top or bottom? Seems like it would more commonly be "why not both"?


Exclusive bottoms are not rare.
 
2022-06-23 10:38:10 AM  

meanmutton: RobotSpider: Can't we just agree that human beings like to do shiat to each other, full-stop? Why are we so worried about taxonomy?

I'm looking for:
Him
Her
Them
Penetration
Touching
Penis
Vagina
Ken-Doll
Talking
Licking
Meat-Lover's
Supreme
Extra Dippin' Sauce

Check all that apply. If you can find someone in the same ballpark, you can work out the details yourselves. If you're mature enough to look for someone to do these things, surely you're mature enough to be able to discuss it.

And when the list doesn't include what you're looking for and only includes things that you do NOT want to look for, what do you check then?


By definition, if you are NOT looking FOR it, you are not looking for it. Don't check what you don't want. If what you want isn't on the list you may have to discuss it with a potential partner. But if you both don't want the same list to start with, it's a pretty good starting point.
 
2022-06-23 10:39:54 AM  

Gleeman: Not gay myself, but are many people really exclusively top or bottom? Seems like it would more commonly be "why not both"?


Some people feel weird about things in their butt, some people feel weird about other people's butts, some people don't like the "dominant" connotations of topping, or the opposite for bottoming, some people just literally can't relax enough to bottom or have a medical issue precluding it, etc. Everyone has different preferences. But yeah, there are exclusive tops and exclusive bottoms. I couldn't say what percentage of gay men are one or the other, but it's not an insignificant number.
 
2022-06-23 10:44:37 AM  

theteacher: Nick Nostril: markie_farkie: Pocket Ninja: dinner salads of the gay world?

Tossed salads, I would assume?

Greek salad?

Definitely not a Caesar.

/some lesbian humor
//I'll see myself out
///in in the cooch


preview.redd.itView Full Size

Actually ...
 
2022-06-23 10:46:48 AM  

trerro: The idea that things are a spectrum has long alluded a large chunk of the US populace:
Yes, bi people exist.
Yes, switches exist.
Yes, plenty of people like to be on both ends of a given sex act.


Another thing a lot of people just can't grasp is that bi people can have opposite-sex relationships and still be bi. For some reason it throws so many people off to see that.

Not to mention, 'bi' doesn't mean exactly 50/50 in terms of which you favor.
 
2022-06-23 10:47:25 AM  

NobleHam: Gleeman: Not gay myself, but are many people really exclusively top or bottom? Seems like it would more commonly be "why not both"?

Some people feel weird about things in their butt, some people feel weird about other people's butts, some people don't like the "dominant" connotations of topping, or the opposite for bottoming, some people just literally can't relax enough to bottom or have a medical issue precluding it, etc. Everyone has different preferences. But yeah, there are exclusive tops and exclusive bottoms. I couldn't say what percentage of gay men are one or the other, but it's not an insignificant number.


Thanks I was just wondering about it; the way it usually gets portrayed on the internet is either/or, at least from outside the community or in memes, etc.

But like you and others in the thread have said sounds like anything else sexual people are all over the place in what they like.
 
2022-06-23 10:49:22 AM  

menschenfresser: trerro: The idea that things are a spectrum has long alluded a large chunk of the US populace:
Yes, bi people exist.
Yes, switches exist.
Yes, plenty of people like to be on both ends of a given sex act.

Another thing a lot of people just can't grasp is that bi people can have opposite-sex relationships and still be bi. For some reason it throws so many people off to see that.

Not to mention, 'bi' doesn't mean exactly 50/50 in terms of which you favor.


It would also be nice if we judged equally by sex. A woman can come out as bi and be perfectly accepted - it may even spur a few fantasies. A man coming out as bi is "clearly just gay" and they're scorned by both ends of the spectrum.
 
2022-06-23 10:50:05 AM  
No Up, Down, Charm or Strange yet?
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-06-23 10:50:49 AM  

kling_klang_bed: Pocket Ninja: Sides? So they're the green beans, French fries, and dinner salads of the gay world?

[Fark user image image 720x720]


That's kinda what an anus looks like after a success grindr hookup.
 
2022-06-23 10:50:55 AM  

Gleeman: Not gay myself, but are many people really exclusively top or bottom? Seems like it would more commonly be "why not both"?


A lot of dudes are exclusively one or the other - in my anecdotal experience more catchers than pitchers - but there are also a fair number of 'versatile' guys who're more the switch hitter type.

/I like baseball
 
2022-06-23 10:52:44 AM  

thealgorerhythm: theteacher: Nick Nostril: markie_farkie: Pocket Ninja: dinner salads of the gay world?

Tossed salads, I would assume?

Greek salad?

Definitely not a Caesar.

/some lesbian humor
//I'll see myself out
///in in the cooch

[preview.redd.it image 640x529]
Actually ...


I'm not sure why that image is associated with Nicomedes when it's very clearly Antinous. Specifically it's one of the busts of Antinous in the Vatican Museum. And any gay person should recognize Antinous on site.
 
2022-06-23 10:54:56 AM  

menschenfresser: Gleeman: Not gay myself, but are many people really exclusively top or bottom? Seems like it would more commonly be "why not both"?

A lot of dudes are exclusively one or the other - in my anecdotal experience more catchers than pitchers - but there are also a fair number of 'versatile' guys who're more the switch hitter type.

/I like baseball


Oh yeah, and a not-small percentage of guys don't do anything at all 'back there.' A good number just like pole smoking and stuff like that.
 
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