Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(CBS 12 West Palm Beach)   2016 - Florida man kills couple with machete, strips naked, drinks random garage fluids then eats man's face off. Just may qualify for insanity plea   (cbs12.com) divider line
    More: Followup, Insanity pleas, Insanity defense, man, couple  
•       •       •

2540 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Jun 2022 at 8:12 PM (2 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



63 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2022-06-22 5:40:59 PM  
This feels like bath salts should have been involved in this matter.
 
2022-06-22 8:13:25 PM  

alechemist: This feels like bath salts should have been involved in this matter.


Wait, this isn't normal behavior for Florida Man?
 
2022-06-22 8:14:44 PM  
everyone knows in order to cop a solid insanity defense, one must strip naked 1st and then attack with your machete....rookie
 
2022-06-22 8:15:41 PM  
There can be only one.
 
2022-06-22 8:15:59 PM  

darth sunshine: everyone knows in order to cop a solid insanity defense, one must strip naked 1st and then attack with your machete....rookie


Came here to say this.

Also, this is "blue state crazy" he  needs a gimmick to get off in Florida.
 
2022-06-22 8:16:45 PM  
Need to know the line of conversation he was having with his father in that restaurant prior to the attacks.

Dad:  "Son, I'm tired of paying for your bitcoin mining power bill, turn that crap off."
Son:  Ouuuraaaaaaghgghghg!
 
2022-06-22 8:16:56 PM  

darth sunshine: everyone knows in order to cop a solid insanity defense, one must strip naked 1st and then attack with your machete....rookie


Even Florida Man knows not to wave a machete around when his peninsula is flopping around in the breeze.
 
2022-06-22 8:17:26 PM  

LiberalConservative: alechemist: This feels like bath salts should have been involved in this matter.

Wait, this isn't normal behavior for Florida Man?


Not until AFTER drinking the random garage fluids.
 
2022-06-22 8:17:31 PM  

alechemist: This feels like bath salts should have been involved in this matter.


Could be Benzos, or RCs of some sort.
 
2022-06-22 8:17:37 PM  
He left the table, the building, and maybe his right mind- he ran into a nearby neighborhood and attacked John and Michelle Stevens in their garage with a machete.  Then he attacked a neighbor who was trying to intervene.

When police arrived on the scene, Harrouff was eating the face of John Stevens, additionally, he had stripped naked and drank several products he found in the garage
.

This guy sounds like a real jerk!
 
2022-06-22 8:18:33 PM  
Subby, an insanity defense has jack, shiat, and all to do with how horrific you act, or even if you actually have a recognized mental condition.  It is whether or not you can show you had no ability to know that what you were doing was illegal at the time you did it.  "I wuz cray-ay-ay-ay-zeeeeeeeee!" doesn't even come close to meeting the standard.
 
2022-06-22 8:19:33 PM  
Anywhere else, he'd be a shoo-in.  In Florida?  Might be tougher than he thinks...
 
2022-06-22 8:19:50 PM  
 Never eat Chicago style pizza in Florida, you've been warned
 
2022-06-22 8:20:30 PM  
Insanity plea? He's going to replace DeathSentence as governor. He's exactly what the GQP look for in a candidate.
 
2022-06-22 8:25:16 PM  
Oh c'mon. We all been there.
 
2022-06-22 8:25:51 PM  
The Aristocrats
 
2022-06-22 8:29:31 PM  

Nirbo: darth sunshine: everyone knows in order to cop a solid insanity defense, one must strip naked 1st and then attack with your machete....rookie

Came here to say this.

Also, this is "blue state crazy" he  needs a gimmick to get off in Florida.


IDK what "blue state crazy" is but I'd imagine it more along the lines as a Harvard philosophy professor managing his quiet melancholy with micro doses of ketamine.
 
2022-06-22 8:30:48 PM  
I actually read that headline the first time and missed the Florida part, and thought, "Wait, that WASN'T in Florida?"
 
2022-06-22 8:32:33 PM  

nyan9mm: alechemist: This feels like bath salts should have been involved in this matter.

Could be Benzos, or RCs of some sort.


Roman Catholics?

Yeah... That does sound about right.
 
2022-06-22 8:34:22 PM  
I would've figured the couple with a machete could've fought this guy off. What good is having a machete if you can't even fight off a crazy, naked Florida Man?

Maybe they were too busy fighting over who got to use the machete, and the crazy guy got the drop on them. So let that be a lesson to all couples out there: never share a machete. Doesn't matter how well you get along with each other, there will come a point when you both want to use the machete at the same time.
 
2022-06-22 8:34:46 PM  

ketkarsa: Insanity plea? He's going to replace DeathSentence as governor. He's exactly what the GQP look for in a candidate.


Finally a candidate for the Leopards Eating Faces party that walks the walk!
 
2022-06-22 8:36:11 PM  
"Just may qualify for insanity plea"

Or more likely, his state's GQP nomination for Senator.
 
2022-06-22 8:38:30 PM  

AAAAGGGGHHHH: "Just may qualify for insanity plea"

Or more likely, his state's GQP nomination for Senator.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-06-22 8:40:23 PM  

nyan9mm: alechemist: This feels like bath salts should have been involved in this matter.

Could be Benzos, or RCs of some sort.


Hopped up on goofballs
 
2022-06-22 8:41:59 PM  
The lesson is: if you're gonna kill random people, make sure to do do a bunch of crazy shiat at the same time.

I suggest cutting off one's penis and/or balls. Before killing randomly.
 
2022-06-22 8:48:40 PM  

Miss_Dorothy_Kilgallen: nyan9mm: alechemist: This feels like bath salts should have been involved in this matter.

Could be Benzos, or RCs of some sort.

Roman Catholics?

Yeah... That does sound about right.


Research chemicals from China.

*cough*
 
2022-06-22 8:49:39 PM  
Better git a lawyer, son
Better git a real good one
 
2022-06-22 8:50:45 PM  
"I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti Mobile 40 weight."

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-06-22 8:50:51 PM  
This would make a great Mountain Dew commercial. Just replace the garage chemicals with that new flavor they just dropped and BAM! You got yourself a spokesman.
 
2022-06-22 8:54:07 PM  
I bet the restaurant was a florida early bird special buffet. I've almost gone crazy after 3 hour long buffets and mom saying we have to sit there until the good desserts are brought out at 6 pm.
 
2022-06-22 8:55:12 PM  
Meh, doesn't matter. Even if you can pull off the insanity plea, which is virtually impossible in Florida, all you've done is turn earn yourself a lifetime in Chattahoochee. I'd rather be in regular prison.
/Here is a PSA: don't go psych if you go to prison in Florida. You do NOT want to go to anything over a level three psych camp. I can not emphasize that enough. That is the toughest, roughest time you can do.
 
2022-06-22 8:55:32 PM  

Jojo_TheDogFacedBoy: nyan9mm: alechemist: This feels like bath salts should have been involved in this matter.

Could be Benzos, or RCs of some sort.

Hopped up on goofballs


Marijuana. Not even once.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-06-22 8:55:34 PM  
This man is impolite.
 
2022-06-22 8:57:10 PM  

Wings4Marie: This would make a great Mountain Dew commercial. Just replace the garage chemicals with that new flavor they just dropped and BAM! You got yourself a spokesman.


Mentos. Would make a great Mentos commercial
 
2022-06-22 9:02:04 PM  
C'mon guys, didn't you get the talking points pamphlet? The only way to stop a bad naked face-eating machete wielder is with a good naked face-eating machete wielder. Geez
 
2022-06-22 9:02:26 PM  
If you're going to eat someone, why eat the face? Face is not tasty.
 
2022-06-22 9:06:22 PM  

hissatsu: ketkarsa: Insanity plea? He's going to replace DeathSentence as governor. He's exactly what the GQP look for in a candidate.

Finally a candidate for the Leopards Eating Faces party that walks the walk!


You bring up a good point.  Is this individual a leopard???
 
2022-06-22 9:16:45 PM  

12YearBid: Meh, doesn't matter. Even if you can pull off the insanity plea, which is virtually impossible in Florida, all you've done is turn earn yourself a lifetime in Chattahoochee. I'd rather be in regular prison.
/Here is a PSA: don't go psych if you go to prison in Florida. You do NOT want to go to anything over a level three psych camp. I can not emphasize that enough. That is the toughest, roughest time you can do.


If this is psychosis caused by withdrawal, as the article suggests, then he'd likely return to whatever his normal is soon, so he'd avoid a lengthy stay.
 
2022-06-22 9:20:05 PM  
This guy is the worst superhero
 
2022-06-22 9:22:35 PM  

Rage Against the Thorazine: Jojo_TheDogFacedBoy: nyan9mm: alechemist: This feels like bath salts should have been involved in this matter.

Could be Benzos, or RCs of some sort.

Hopped up on goofballs

Marijuana. Not even once.

[Fark user image 528x658]


I'll take two made my hair grows, and a hat made out of ground beef.

We can discuss the weed later....
 
2022-06-22 9:29:47 PM  
Florida man
Florida man
No one can kill Florida man
He'll get naked and eat you face
You don't fuck with
Florida man
 
2022-06-22 9:32:21 PM  
Just may qualify for insanity plea

Go large
 
2022-06-22 9:35:28 PM  

LiberalConservative: alechemist: This feels like bath salts should have been involved in this matter.

Wait, this isn't normal behavior for Florida Man?


No. The Men here like eating the face off the live victims.
 
2022-06-22 9:37:13 PM  

daffy: LiberalConservative: alechemist: This feels like bath salts should have been involved in this matter.

Wait, this isn't normal behavior for Florida Man?

No. The Men here like eating the face off the live victims.


Before dragging them into the swamp for some death spins and dueling banjos.
 
2022-06-22 9:39:12 PM  
I remember being drunk in a bar shortly after this happened and a drunk doctor convinced me the dude had rabies.

The dude apparently had difficulty swallowing water at the restaurant, lost control of his mind, attacked and bit another human being, tried to drink chemicals to quench his thirst but spit them out again like he did the water. All of those are signs of rabies. Also apparently the way he was treated in the hospital - lowering his body temperature and putting him in a medically induced coma, is the not very often successful way of treating rabies. Furthermore apparently Florida is the American hotbed of rabies.

Rabies is freaky as hell, man.
 
2022-06-22 9:42:09 PM  

shoegaze99: If you're going to eat someone, why eat the face? Face is not tasty.


...how many human faces have you consumed to know this?  I mean you never know if you got a dud on the first taste, it takes a few dozen before you properly develop a pallet for this sort of advanced cuisine.  Especially so fresh like the subject is trying, that's just prone to mistakes like forgetting to adequately salt it multiple times.  Especially the nose and cheeks.

If you need help please follow my instagram.
#HumanCuisineMadeEasy
#Nocops
 
2022-06-22 10:09:17 PM  

Kalyco Jack: I remember being drunk in a bar shortly after this happened and a drunk doctor convinced me the dude had rabies.

The dude apparently had difficulty swallowing water at the restaurant, lost control of his mind, attacked and bit another human being, tried to drink chemicals to quench his thirst but spit them out again like he did the water. All of those are signs of rabies. Also apparently the way he was treated in the hospital - lowering his body temperature and putting him in a medically induced coma, is the not very often successful way of treating rabies. Furthermore apparently Florida is the American hotbed of rabies.

Rabies is freaky as hell, man.


Fark user imageView Full Size

freaky you say?
 
2022-06-22 10:27:34 PM  
Reminded me of an SNL skit where Dahmer was with his lawyers trying to come up with some ways to comically convince the court he was crazy.
 
2022-06-22 10:42:13 PM  

LiberalConservative: alechemist: This feels like bath salts should have been involved in this matter.

Wait, this isn't normal behavior for Florida Man?


Well, no. Most of us just maybe have some beer and send out for pizza delivery. I've seen a lot of crazy stuff in the neighborhood but, it doesn't involve nudity in most cases, just maybe the potential to set the entire neighborhood on fire. I mean, yes, once someone did set the neighborhood on fire.

Even the most raving crazy homeless meth addicts usually just want to talk about how they're being followed around by drones and have to avoid the areas where underground gnomes will stab their feet.

A few of these people have lost teeth but, that's generally from getting into a bar fight or face-planting after they couldn't quite pull off the stunt they had planned. "Meth mouth" isn't a real thing, and many of them look amazingly trim and fit after exercising for 24 hours a day for a week at a time.

In this neighborhood, you should definitely realize that looking thin and muscular doesn't suggest that you're either young or rich. It states that you've been having far too much "up time" on amphetamines, and it's probably not a good idea for anyone to get near you. These guys are usually harmless but, they may be cranky because they suspect you've been stealing their spiders. Going without sleep for a week does horrible things to your mind.
 
2022-06-22 10:44:31 PM  
Welp, governor DeSantis has found his gender verification inspector for K-12 sports.
 
Displayed 50 of 63 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking




On Twitter


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.