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(Some Spontn80) Hero What would you say to your Dad today if you could? Our 15th yearly and traditionally caFARKtic Father's day Thread   ( divider line
    More: Hero, Mother, Father, Family, Fatherhood, Father's Day, Dan Grigor, CSB 8th, Fifth year  
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869 clicks; posted to Main » and Discussion » on 19 Jun 2022 at 7:05 AM (8 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook

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2022-06-18 12:28:20 PM  
This year I'll post the lyrics for the song I wrote about my daughter. Sadly, I have no recording nor, I must admit, can I remember how to play all of it. She's over 40 now and I have 2 grandkids. It's gonna be a good day of calls and silly texts.
Please take a moment and listen to my Dear Daddy song on the headline link. It is what I would say to my Dad today if I could. Maybe he'd play piano with me and sing harmony.

For My Little Girl
By Dan Grigor
I'd like to introduce you to my child
And I'd like to talk to you, for a little while
Please be careful don't end the world
Leave something left for my little girl
She's beautiful, looks like her mom
A full-fledged father I have become
I'm in love again, you know what I mean
And I think she's the cutest baby I've ever seen
This slowly spinning sphere on which we stand
How many times could we circle it if we all held hands
But before we could do that we'd have to bridge all the seas
Oh please
Won't you all listen perhaps heed what I say
If we don't get together we'll all die this way
Let's give our kids a chance to live better than we do
Won't you
Now I'd like to thank you all for your time
For the chance to play my tunes sing a little rhyme
But please please be careful
Please don't end the world
Leave something left for my little girl
For my little girl
2022-06-19 12:24:03 AM  
Die, Zombie!
2022-06-19 12:29:51 AM  
scontent-sea1-1.xx.fbcdn.netView Full Size
2022-06-19 12:30:40 AM  
2022-06-19 12:34:23 AM  
"Keep your hands above your head, turn around and face away from me, and get on your knees"
2022-06-19 12:34:32 AM  
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Sorry for the poor quality, but it's a phone pic of an old photogrash I took on Christmas 1981. My dad is holding his first grandbaby, my son. The sneaker-shaped riding toy in the background (righthand side) was a present from Bampa.
2022-06-19 12:36:41 AM  
I can't believe it has been nine months since you left us.  I pretty much said all I needed to when you were in hospice but I will tell you that you are missed more than you could possibly know.  Thanks again for being my Dad.
2022-06-19 12:38:43 AM  
I would tell him that I miss him
2022-06-19 12:43:09 AM  
I use you as a role model of how not to be.
2022-06-19 1:06:37 AM  
I wouldn't waste my breath.
2022-06-19 1:10:33 AM  
You were a better man than I can ever hope to be, but you gave me all the tools I need to try. If I become more, it's because of you. You showed us the way and made us strong.

Your grandkids are strong, too, and full of love, carrying your life forward.

I miss you, Dad. I still watch the sunrise and think of you and our early, early mornings together while everybody else slept.
2022-06-19 1:43:11 AM  
I miss you, Dad.  I wish you were here.  It's been a year and a half and it still feels so raw.
FNG [TotalFark]
2022-06-19 2:04:44 AM  
The last time I saw my Dad alive, he was on end-of-life care.

He was sleeping.  I was told the breathing noises were normal for end of life.

I was there with him, as he had watched over me when I was a child.

Love you Dad.  Miss you.  Thank you for everything.  Very glad you're with Mom again.
2022-06-19 2:04:47 AM  
I miss you.  The grandson you never met that knew your face instantly three years after you died is still with us physically.  But mentally, he's a stranger, so that's not so good.  On the best days, he still hears the angels' music, so we still hope that someday his mind will heal as well.  Talk to God about giving him another miracle, please.

We'll all be together soon, I've lived longer than I deserved, and I'm satisfied I did my part to make society a little bit better.  Have a word with St. Peter, so he won't lock the gate when I show up.  I know Mama has been telling him to lock it up tight.
2022-06-19 2:05:05 AM  
Eat shiat and go fark your self. Are you dead or alive? I'll never know until my Ancestry suggests it found you in the Social Security death index.

My life has been better without you. Your entire existence and all I'll take from knowing you is a lesson showing me the depravity and cruelty humans are capable of.

Also, I've been to your church and according to the grifter in the cheap suit, it seems pretty clear you're worshipping the bad guy they talk about. So enjoy the heat you lowlife sack of shiat.

And I meant it when I told your vile vicious disgusting wife that I hope she outlives you... saving me the trouble of driving your body to the dump and having to ask the guy how much it'll cost to dump 200lbs of shiat.
2022-06-19 2:05:38 AM  
I hardly saw you, barely knew you, from 8 years old till 40. Sure glad we reunited the, though, and had at least some time to get to know each other before you were gone. Your last wife - only a couple years older than me, your youngest from my mother - was a great match for you and I'm thrilled you found each other. In between, you had several more children with another wife and we still get in touch regularly. You were a great dad to many in your way. Thanks for the time we shared. Love you Daddy.
FNG [TotalFark]
2022-06-19 2:09:06 AM  
Lotta damage in this thread.  Yikes.
2022-06-19 2:12:23 AM  

FNG: Lotta damage in this thread.  Yikes.

Some people in this world suck. Some of them become parents.

I'm grateful for seeing the danger early and getting far away. Neither of my siblings were as lucky.
FNG [TotalFark]
2022-06-19 2:20:01 AM  

Cubansaltyballs: FNG: Lotta damage in this thread.  Yikes.

Some people in this world suck. Some of them become parents.

I'm grateful for seeing the danger early and getting far away. Neither of my siblings were as lucky.

Very sorry to hear that.  Ugh.
2022-06-19 2:51:51 AM  
I was lucky enough to have two grandpas who were both great guys, and I miss them a lot. I don't know if they ever knew that they were my father figures. I wish I could tell them thanks for doing such a good job. I only have a picture of one of them. This is my dad's dad, Papa Bert. I wish you guys could have met him. You'd like him.

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2022-06-19 3:03:52 AM  

FNG: Cubansaltyballs: FNG: Lotta damage in this thread.  Yikes.

Some people in this world suck. Some of them become parents.

I'm grateful for seeing the danger early and getting far away. Neither of my siblings were as lucky.

Very sorry to hear that.  Ugh.

I'll second that. I'm so sorry.

I am grateful to still have a great Dad. He still frustrates the shiate out of me sometimes, but he's a good Dad.

My husband and I both grew up very modestly, albeit in very different times. Our folks did the very best they could for us in difficult circumstances, and we both did very well based on the foundation that they provided. We trusted them because they were trustworthy. We are what they worked toward - their children did better than they did. And we can only hope that we returned the favor as best we could.

Our hearts go out to the kids who have (in lieu of a better word) bad parents. Without that base of good parenting, it is SO much harder for children to be happy and to have the tools to survive and thrive. Hats off to anyone who is able to break that cycle.

/thanks Charlie, Rose, John, and Mary
2022-06-19 3:20:08 AM  
happy for all you that had wonderful fathers. it's a rare circumstance.
2022-06-19 3:31:52 AM  
"Stay the hell away from me. We talked about this"
2022-06-19 3:37:49 AM  
Pass the ketchup.
2022-06-19 3:55:55 AM  
if you haven't read my story by now you're a newb.
My Dad left when I was very young. The best thing he did for me was buy me a guitar that came with several Flamenco guitar lessons at 5yrs old. My favorite memory of him is the ride to the city in the Cadillac, the walk up the creaky wooden stairs to the green door with the glass and the gold letters. Like a bad movie detective's office. "I'll see you Sunday" he said dropping me off one day and that was that until my sister found him as an adult 15 years later. He had me move to California and was gonna give me a 100 acres in San Diego. Lived in a house in La Jolla the guy that played Marcus Welby MD built. He played the piano really well and loved to play. An alcoholic and a gambler he ran up a huge tab at a well known casino in Vegas. Well over his limit they came looking for him at my house as did the IRS. He robbed a bank in downtown Vegas and was shot dead by LVPD. He had issues, in between he just wanted a family and a good job and a nice house and to get rich quick without much work. Sort of how he parented as I recall. The whole journey made me a good dad and my kids are wonderful humans all on their own now. I can rest. I hated him for so long. I got over it in a bar one night with him and Bobby Riggs the tennis player, where we got "ILoveYouMan" drunk. We told Bobby our story and my dad apologized for throwing out all my toys when I called my mom a biatch when I was 5. He remember that in that pile were my grandfather's  cufflinks. He hated it, it haunted him his whole life. He apologized for leaving and by the end we were asked to leave the bar, everybody in there was crying while we laughed, stumbled and fell out the door. He was forgiven.
2022-06-19 5:44:26 AM  
My Father and I are on even ground. I told him that I forgive him for being an abusive alcoholic, considering what his own father was like, and his father before him. I know that he left home and lied about his age to get into the Army, he saw two tours, and then at all of 20 had me. He was unprepared for a lot. And the coping mechanism that he had the most modeling on was drinking. I understand it. I told him this years ago. He didn't have a great blueprint for being a Dad. I've reached out to him over the years, and I never get a call back, so I've pretty much resigned myself to him being a distant figure who tried his best, and failed. I accept this, because he doesn't know any other way to be.

The man who stepped up and took me in, and gave me a home at 16 after my Dad beat on me one time too many, he passed last year. We all knew it was coming, which didn't make it easier, but I was able to tell him how grateful I was for him and everything he tried to teach me. He wasn't ever a demonstrably affectionate man, he was quiet, reserved, a proud Mainer, a good Yankee sort, so he showed his love in actions. He never, ever let me down. He taught me how to be a man, how to be gentle, how to be kind, how to be generous, he was a proper role model in damn near every sense. I miss him, but we said our goodbyes and I thanked him and promised to keep his lessons close. He passed with the firm belief that he was rejoining my Aunt and if there is something beyond this, I know he's good with the life he had, and good for whatever lay ahead.

My biggest concern now is try to impart what he taught me to my daughter.
2022-06-19 7:06:55 AM  
Same thing I've said for the past couple years: Please, for the love of Christ, smack some sense into my brother. We miss his kids since he disowned us, and it's not fair to Mom.

\he'd love my sister's boys, be following around my brother's older two, and would laugh his ass off seeing my brother's karma (aka brother's younger son)
2022-06-19 7:15:03 AM  
I've been sitting here, thinking of what to type.  I've never met my father.  I think I can still contact him through my aunt if I wanted to.  But he's never reached out either.  According to my mom, his rich family got the local court to rule that he wasn't my father.  This was before DNA.

And so it goes.
2022-06-19 7:15:13 AM  
I would just like to talk baseball with my dad.
biatch about how Avila has messed up the Tigers, wonder how he would process a player like shoei ohtani, and give him a ride in my convertible.
But more than anything I would just like to be able to give him a hug one more time.
2022-06-19 7:16:10 AM  
The only way I'd be speaking to my biological father is if he showed up on my doorstep unannounced:  "Why the fk are you here?  Get the fk out of my sight.  No I'm not giving you any money."

The only way I ever see my stepdad (and Mom) is when I travel to their home in NC: "Dude, I brought you a half ounce of some killer indica from a state where they are civilized about this shiat.  Have you ever tried edibles?"

/my stepdad rescued a single working mother and her two kids from poverty
//the other man walked out on his wife and two preschool-aged kids to go chase pussy
2022-06-19 7:16:18 AM  
How long does it take to get cigarettes and milk ffs?
2022-06-19 7:17:03 AM  
Thank you, for not settling for a bj that one day.
2022-06-19 7:17:25 AM  
I'm glad it was just me, and not my brother, too. That's all. Enjoy your whisky.
2022-06-19 7:17:49 AM  
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My dad in China 1943.  You never know what another person endured, even if it's your father.
2022-06-19 7:18:31 AM  
Sorry for not spending more time with you. But you know why.
2022-06-19 7:20:51 AM  
"Thanks," and "Now get back on the cart; you're not fooling anybody."
2022-06-19 7:24:15 AM  
Dad, your soups are terrible.  Stop making them.
2022-06-19 7:27:05 AM  
Oh crap.  Cut the blue one.  Cut the blue wire.  My bad.
2022-06-19 7:31:05 AM  
I'd thank him for his patience, especially during my teen years. Tell him he was right and wise about so many things, though I usually didn't realize it till later. But I remember most of it now, even if it didn't seem like I was listening then.

(Was just thinking about him yesterday and being grateful for the only-takes-a-minute habit of looking up words I thought I knew well when I question their usage, learning they usually actually mean more or less than I'd thought. The lesson that simply learning what words mean is an easy education on a wide array of subjects.)
2022-06-19 7:31:34 AM  
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My dad and me, late 1969.  He worked a lot during my childhood and I feel I didn't get to spend as much time with him as I would have liked.  But I know why he did it.  He died earlier this year.  Love you.
2022-06-19 7:32:05 AM  
I am fortunate enough that my Dad is still alive.

So I'll call him, say Happy Father's Day, and thank him for being a good father and setting a good example of how to be a father to my own child.

I am not saying he was a saint, but he was involved, kept a roof over our heads and food on the table (etc.), and wasn't abusive or anything. But he had the major handicap of having a farked up mother, so he has trouble showing affection. So when I tell him I love him, he's going to feel awkward and it's 50/50 if he says it back.

/But I know he loves me
//Dads, don't think it makes you "unmanly" to say "I love you" to your children -- especially your sons.
///Sorry for everyone who had lousy father experiences
2022-06-19 7:34:28 AM  
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Hey, Dad.  We're okay.  We miss you.
2022-06-19 7:34:58 AM  
My dad is an abuser. My mom was his first wife. Three kids me being the eldest. Eventually she escaped and he went on to wife 2. One half-sister there and met her once but she has since cut all ties. He's now on wife 3. Two half-brothers there.

I went probably 20 years without talking to him. Went to spend a month with his latest family about four years ago just to see if he had changed. Nope. He's still an abuser but got worse in age. The youngest brother there is a total douche coddled by his mother in every respect. The eldest I got along with. We spent some time together while I was there. Heard stories about them getting beaten with screwdrivers, their mom getting dragged through the house by her hair, etc.

Fark you dad. I'm not a perfect father/husband myself but I'm light years ahead of you.

Daughter and her wife are bringing Dim Sum over for lunch. Can't wait!
2022-06-19 7:35:29 AM  
My dad left when I was really young, so I only knew my mom. Through the years she spun a story of how he cheated on her and was kicked out. Now I don't know if that was true.
In 1983, when I was 17, he called my house and asked to talk to my mom.
The only words I ever said to him were: "Hello?" and "Hold on..."
My mom had a long conversation with him (I still had no idea who she was talking to at this point) and out of the blue asked me in a snotty tone, "Your dad is on the you want to talk to him?"
I was shocked, and had no idea what to say at that point, so I said: "I don't know what to say..!" so she told him "He doesn't want to talk to you." and hung up on him. That wasn't what I meant, I just was unprepared and stunned at the situation.

He sent some pictures and a letter to me that my mom defaced and threw out, so I lost any contact information.

Years later I find out he suffered from depression, and later cancer. He set fire to his house one day, went to his local watering hole for a final drink with his friends, and pulled out a gun and shot himself in the head at the bar.

A few years ago I found out I have an older half brother. Neither one of us knew of the other.  We've talked, but haven't met yet due to Covid and life in general. He tells me that when family affairs were taken care of after the suicide, I wasn't even mentioned.

I wish I had talked to him back in 1983, maybe things would have changed. I realized as I got older that he probably left because my mom was psycho and abusive, a trend that she eventually used on me until I also left.
At least we had that in common.
2022-06-19 7:35:35 AM  
I should've paid attention 50 plus years ago. I might be able to fix  something today.
A bonus thank you for the profanity and sarcasm.
2022-06-19 7:38:24 AM  
I'm gonna say, "Happy father's day", when I see him in a few hours.
My dad lives some 700 miles away, and is a recent cancer survivor.  So the fact that he's in town is a good thing.

Here is a good father story for everyone...
Last year, we drove out to see my father.  We rented a big 'ol Nissan Armada for the trip.
One day, my father, my son, and I were all headed out to somewhere.  My father and I were standing by the SUV.  My son comes out of the house and sheepishly asks, "Is it okay if I drive?"  So of course I said, yeah.

What makes this story amusing is that, then next morning when I was alone with my father, he reminded me that that exact scenario painted out some many years ago when I was out visiting my dad.  "It was exactly like that day when you were 16 and came outside to ask, 'Is it okay if I drive?'"
2022-06-19 7:41:30 AM  
i lucked out with you even though your own father was a cruel bastard
you broke the chain
thanks and i love you!
2022-06-19 7:46:12 AM  
The 1-yr anniversary of my dad's death is in a couple weeks. I miss him very much. Thankfully, we didn't have any unfinished business between us, partly because we were close my entire life and my dad was a loving and emotionally available man, and partly because I was blessed to be in a position to take care of him for the last few years of his life, which gave us plenty of time to talk and, thanks to the dementia, talk about it again...and again.

This was from our last Twins game together...

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2022-06-19 7:46:26 AM  
My father, who never lost any hearing, had a pet peeve annoyance on the mail he'd get selling hearing aids. Which only got worse when I started soliciting information on his behalf... I'd tell him the joke's on me now; that I get that same  type of mail.
2022-06-19 7:52:17 AM  
'El Tarasco on Tuesday?'
We have had a weekly lunch for years.  He's 75.
Enjoying every minute with him.
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