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(The Daily Beast)   You gotta watch out for those Ukrainian grandmothers. Sure, they're walking around with pies during the day but at night they could be colonels with artillery spotters ready to shoot Orcs in their sleep   (thedailybeast.com) divider line
    More: Ironic, Russia, Russian authorities, Ukraine, Crimea, Russian troops, Russian language, Russians, Ukrainian sentiment  
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1756 clicks; posted to Politics » on 16 Jun 2022 at 4:15 PM (16 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2022-06-16 11:42:20 AM  
And the pies are both delicious and deadly.
 
2022-06-16 2:10:06 PM  
Being assigned orcupation duties will be the worst imaginable job in the Russian army.
 
2022-06-16 4:09:47 PM  
"Our farmers prepared another gift for the [Russians]-recently treated sweet cherries, which caused mass illness among those who stole them from the farmers. It's the latest kind of partisan resistance on the territory of Melitopol," Fyodorov told local reporters on Thursday.

Brutal. No, don't throw me into that briar patch!
 
2022-06-16 4:18:09 PM  
Why do I feel like among some of those Ukrainian grandmothers are former Soviet KGB femme fatales?
 
2022-06-16 4:19:31 PM  
Airport always seems to be checking laptops for explosives. Russian troops seem to be looting laptops from Ukrainian towns and cities. Someone should look into rigging a few laptops to be liberated by orcs. Have those detonate in their camps or vehicles.
 
2022-06-16 4:19:50 PM  
c.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2022-06-16 4:19:54 PM  

BizarreMan: And the pies are both delicious and deadly.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-06-16 4:22:03 PM  
He said two tractors and three large truck trailers parked outside the Russian Emergency Ministry's headquarters "suddenly" went up in flames on July 9 due to an arson attack.

That just happens. Flagships burst into flames and sink. No reason tractors and trailers won't do it too.

Two days later, he said, on the eve of the city's "Day of Russia" celebrations, a staffer for the same ministry was stabbed in the back while standing in a crowd.

Probably tripped and fell on a knife. Very unfortunate.

"The injury turned out to be fatal," he said. "We're talking to you, scum. Start looking behind you. Retribution is already near."

I don't know who let this guy work for the Board of Tourism.
 
2022-06-16 4:24:20 PM  
How farking dumb do you have to be as an invading soldier to receive food from the population you're invading?  I wouldn't even trust food I looted requisitioned for myself to not have been poisoned by its owners before they fled.  Maybe it'd be understandable at the beginning of the invasion when many of them still thought they were liberating a receptive population, but now that "liberation" has involved them severely retreating from their initial gains due to stiff resistance, you'd think they'd be at least a little suspicious.
 
2022-06-16 4:25:38 PM  
They grow cherries in Ukraine?  I seriously gotta educate myself on their climate.  Also, now I want cherries.
 
2022-06-16 4:27:52 PM  
Sure, hooray for Ukraine, but poisoning people is a war crime too. Don't give those farkers reasons.
 
2022-06-16 4:28:29 PM  
It's super hard to fight a war when you're shiatting yourself to death.

They should be happy with their maggoty moldy bland MREs. Hell, I wouldn't even trust table salt if I was an orc.
 
2022-06-16 4:29:09 PM  

New Rising Sun: How farking dumb do you have to be as an invading soldier to receive food from the population you're invading?  I wouldn't even trust food I looted requisitioned for myself to not have been poisoned by its owners before they fled.  Maybe it'd be understandable at the beginning of the invasion when many of them still thought they were liberating a receptive population, but now that "liberation" has involved them severely retreating from their initial gains due to stiff resistance, you'd think they'd be at least a little suspicious.


To be fair, it appears that half the conscripts haven't even been told they are at war, and a good chunk of the remainder were told they'd be greeted as liberators.
 
2022-06-16 4:29:17 PM  
Mother Freaking Ukrainians
Youtube 6VWGxUHZBqo
 
2022-06-16 4:31:16 PM  

ProdigalSigh: They grow cherries in Ukraine?  I seriously gotta educate myself on their climate.  Also, now I want cherries.


I was curious, and cherries are pretty widespread. This is the indigenous area of the wild/sweet cherry:

Fark user imageView Full Size


Of course, they're grown well outside of that now.
 
2022-06-16 4:31:45 PM  

New Rising Sun: How farking dumb do you have to be as an invading soldier to receive food from the population you're invading?



"You hear that, Ivan?"
"What's that, Yuri?"
"Liberators, man! We'll be greeted as liberators by our brothers and sisters of Ukraine! Look! They're bringing us pies, Ivan."
"Ooooh, Yuri, this pie is delicious. I love cherries!"
 
2022-06-16 4:32:18 PM  

Excelsior: New Rising Sun: How farking dumb do you have to be as an invading soldier to receive food from the population you're invading?  I wouldn't even trust food I looted requisitioned for myself to not have been poisoned by its owners before they fled.  Maybe it'd be understandable at the beginning of the invasion when many of them still thought they were liberating a receptive population, but now that "liberation" has involved them severely retreating from their initial gains due to stiff resistance, you'd think they'd be at least a little suspicious.

To be fair, it appears that half the conscripts haven't even been told they are at war, and a good chunk of the remainder were told they'd be greeted as liberators.


And they're probably starving...
 
2022-06-16 4:37:32 PM  
These threads about the Ukrainians winning the war are heartwarming, because it's the same people saying Ukraine is winning and that the US needs to send troops in because Ukraine is losing, or even more ridiculous that Ukraine isn't winning "fast enough." I see you, weapons manufacturer lobbyists.
 
2022-06-16 4:39:08 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


If you want to see some irony.
 
2022-06-16 4:42:29 PM  

fsbilly: Sure, hooray for Ukraine, but poisoning people is a war crime too. Don't give those farkers reasons.


People, not orcs.
 
2022-06-16 4:45:39 PM  
Not all Ukrainian babushkas. This lady apparently went viral in Russia because she got into an argument with some Ukrainian soldiers for stomping on her USSR flag.


Babushka Z vs The Bandera Boys.
Youtube HV83H5d5Pw8



The Russian trolls turned her into a meme - "Bubushka Z".
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-06-16 4:46:10 PM  
c.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2022-06-16 4:47:25 PM  

Shaggy_C: Not all Ukrainian babushkas. This lady apparently went viral in Russia because she got into an argument with some Ukrainian soldiers for stomping on her USSR flag.


[YouTube video: Babushka Z vs The Bandera Boys.]


The Russian trolls turned her into a meme - "Bubushka Z".
[Fark user image image 850x1465]


And she's since come out to beg Putin to end the war which has really pissed off her Russian fans.
 
2022-06-16 4:47:30 PM  
Oh, they also put up a statue of her in Mariupol, because Russia is a bunch of assholes:
Fark user imageView Full Size


The funny part is that she is actually anti-Russia and against the war. They just took the video out of context for a propaganda coup.
 
2022-06-16 4:49:22 PM  

New Rising Sun: How farking dumb do you have to be as an invading soldier to receive food from the population you're invading?  I wouldn't even trust food I looted requisitioned for myself to not have been poisoned by its owners before they fled.  Maybe it'd be understandable at the beginning of the invasion when many of them still thought they were liberating a receptive population, but now that "liberation" has involved them severely retreating from their initial gains due to stiff resistance, you'd think they'd be at least a little suspicious.


Because there is no other food.
 
2022-06-16 4:51:48 PM  
So the occupiers are getting... Thinner?

Fark user imageView Full Size


Die clean, white Russian from town.
 
2022-06-16 4:51:50 PM  

austerity101: ProdigalSigh: They grow cherries in Ukraine?  I seriously gotta educate myself on their climate.  Also, now I want cherries.

I was curious, and cherries are pretty widespread. This is the indigenous area of the wild/sweet cherry:

[Fark user image 425x242]

Of course, they're grown well outside of that now.


Indeed. Best cherries come from colder places , as the tree needs a certain amount of "chill hours" per year to produce good fruit.  Same for apples , pears and I am forgetting others.
 
2022-06-16 4:56:25 PM  

New Rising Sun: How farking dumb do you have to be as an invading soldier to receive food from the population you're invading?  I wouldn't even trust food I looted requisitioned for myself to not have been poisoned by its owners before they fled.  Maybe it'd be understandable at the beginning of the invasion when many of them still thought they were liberating a receptive population, but now that "liberation" has involved them severely retreating from their initial gains due to stiff resistance, you'd think they'd be at least a little suspicious.


When I go out to dinner with my team from work and my boss is snippy to the waitstaff I don't even like to eat the food from THEM. I'm NEVER rude to someone who is alone with my food before they bring it to me. Never, ever, ever.

Both because it's wrong - they're human beings like the rest of us - but also because it's a stupid farking idea, unless you LIKE a stranger's spit in your food.
 
2022-06-16 4:56:37 PM  

edmo: Being assigned orcupation duties will be the worst imaginable job in the Russian army.


Worse than General??
 
2022-06-16 4:57:01 PM  

Wake Up Sheeple: These threads about the Ukrainians winning the war are heartwarming, because it's the same people saying Ukraine is winning and that the US needs to send troops in because Ukraine is losing, or even more ridiculous that Ukraine isn't winning "fast enough." I see you, weapons manufacturer lobbyists.


As always I say "Beware hubris."  That sh*t will get you killed.
 
2022-06-16 4:57:44 PM  

fsbilly: Sure, hooray for Ukraine, but poisoning people is a war crime too. Don't give those farkers reasons.


From how I read it, they poisoned their own harvest, the Russians stole it, and then got sick.  Don't steal none, won't puke none.

austerity101: I was curious, and cherries are pretty widespread. This is the indigenous area of the wild/sweet cherry:


Wow.  I'm from Indiana and growing up we had three cherry trees in the backyard, but I'm no farmboy or botanist, it just never really occurred to me how resilient those trees are.
 
2022-06-16 4:57:53 PM  

edmo: Being assigned orcupation duties will be the worst imaginable job in the Russian army.


Our farmers prepared another gift for the [Russians]-recently treated sweet cherries, which caused mass illness among those who stole them from the farmers.
 
2022-06-16 4:58:33 PM  

austerity101: ProdigalSigh: They grow cherries in Ukraine?  I seriously gotta educate myself on their climate.  Also, now I want cherries.

I was curious, and cherries are pretty widespread. This is the indigenous area of the wild/sweet cherry:

[Fark user image image 425x242]

Of course, they're grown well outside of that now.


Wild cherries are ripe now here in Zürich. The pits are bigger and the flesh is thinner than farmed cherries, and they taste a tiny bit planty, but they're still good. Lots of marten poop on the trails that's nothing but cherry pits and red.
 
2022-06-16 5:02:21 PM  

fsbilly: Sure, hooray for Ukraine, but poisoning people is a war crime too. Don't give those farkers reasons.


Russian military doctrine is to bomb hospitals, systemic rape, summary executions and artillery barrages on civilian population centers.

The Russians  aren't following the rules. The Russians have a stated goal of ethnic cleansing. When faced with that why shouldn't the Ukrainians take every opportunity to fight back?
 
2022-06-16 5:03:45 PM  

ProdigalSigh: fsbilly: Sure, hooray for Ukraine, but poisoning people is a war crime too. Don't give those farkers reasons.


From how I read it, they poisoned their own harvest, the Russians stole it, and then got sick.  Don't steal none, won't puke none.


Hopefully the Russians don't try to resell it.
 
2022-06-16 5:04:58 PM  

mcreadyblue: edmo: Being assigned orcupation duties will be the worst imaginable job in the Russian army.

Worse than General??


Well, if you wanna move up the job ladder in a hurry, considering the generals are being killed on a regular basis.........
 
2022-06-16 5:05:16 PM  

austerity101: ProdigalSigh: They grow cherries in Ukraine?  I seriously gotta educate myself on their climate.  Also, now I want cherries.

I was curious, and cherries are pretty widespread. This is the indigenous area of the wild/sweet cherry:

[Fark user image 425x242]

Of course, they're grown well outside of that now.


Ukraine's climate is largely similar to the Midwest - continental, but tempered by the Great Lakes/the Black Sea.

Where do they grow lots of grain in the US?  The Midwest.  Ever seen how many cherry orchards there are in Michigan?
 
2022-06-16 5:06:39 PM  
New Rising Sun:

If soldiers were smart, they wouldn't be soldiers.
 
2022-06-16 5:07:35 PM  

kling_klang_bed: mcreadyblue: edmo: Being assigned orcupation duties will be the worst imaginable job in the Russian army.

Worse than General??

Well, if you wanna move up the job ladder in a hurry, considering the generals are being killed on a regular basis.........


Best job would be Colonel then.   Immediate advancement possible.
 
2022-06-16 5:08:01 PM  

anfrind: ProdigalSigh: fsbilly: Sure, hooray for Ukraine, but poisoning people is a war crime too. Don't give those farkers reasons.


From how I read it, they poisoned their own harvest, the Russians stole it, and then got sick.  Don't steal none, won't puke none.

Hopefully the Russians don't try to resell it.


Now that this story's out, I doubt anybody would buy it.

What I want is for the Ukrainians to sink some of the ships Russia sending to steal the grain, preferably when they're empty.
 
2022-06-16 5:08:39 PM  

fsbilly: Sure, hooray for Ukraine, but poisoning people is a war crime too. Don't give those farkers reasons.


You can't commit a war crime if you're not a soldier.

Also, they didn't give the orcs anything. The bastards stole it. If you steal cherries with poison on them, that's not a crime against you, but the spoils of your own crime. Just desserts if you will
 
2022-06-16 5:08:49 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-06-16 5:11:02 PM  

Shaggy_C: Not all Ukrainian babushkas. This lady apparently went viral in Russia because she got into an argument with some Ukrainian soldiers for stomping on her USSR flag.


[YouTube video: Babushka Z vs The Bandera Boys.]


The Russian trolls turned her into a meme - "Bubushka Z".
[Fark user image image 850x1465]


Propaganda
 
2022-06-16 5:11:11 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


(okay, it's a strawberry babushkat, not a cherry one.)
 
2022-06-16 5:12:04 PM  
marieclaire.com.auView Full Size


Don't invade and occupy.

Every pie? Poison.
Every shadow? A knife.
Every little innocuous thing? IED.

Don't like it? Don't invade and occupy.
 
2022-06-16 5:16:47 PM  

2wolves: Wake Up Sheeple: These threads about the Ukrainians winning the war are heartwarming, because it's the same people saying Ukraine is winning and that the US needs to send troops in because Ukraine is losing, or even more ridiculous that Ukraine isn't winning "fast enough." I see you, weapons manufacturer lobbyists.

As always I say "Beware hubris."  That sh*t will get you killed.


It feels like right now it's a stalemate, which is quite a testament to the skill and bravery of the AFU. As much as I despise war profiteering, gearing up with accurate long range weapons is the best way to break this stalemate. So if Raytheon, LM et al make a few billion, it's worth it. The sooner this is over, the fewer innocent lives are lost to Putin's delusions of grandeur.
 
2022-06-16 5:17:31 PM  

anfrind: Hopefully the Russians don't try to resell it.


To whom?  I'm guessing everyone in town is gonna know not to accept stolen Ukrainian fruit from Russians.  Do you think they're gonna send it home?
 
2022-06-16 5:31:28 PM  

leeksfromchichis: New Rising Sun:

If soldiers were smart, they wouldn't be soldiers.


Some folks care about their country enough to possibly make a sacrifice for it. The orcs are excluded from that.
 
2022-06-16 5:34:58 PM  

fsbilly: Sure, hooray for Ukraine, but poisoning people is a war crime too. Don't give those farkers reasons.


I thought it was a special military action, not a war.
 
2022-06-16 5:39:40 PM  
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