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(CNBC)   JP Morgan CEO Jamie Dimon warns to get ready for an economic "hurricane" unlike any you've seen before   (cnbc.com) divider line
    More: Scary, Federal Reserve System, Monetary policy, Jamie Dimon, Washington Mutual, biggest U.S. bank, Central bank, Capitalism, JPMorgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon  
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830 clicks; posted to Business » on 02 Jun 2022 at 11:24 AM (16 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



33 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-06-02 11:14:41 AM  
What if it forms out near Hawaii? Wouldn't it be called a typhoon?
 
2022-06-02 11:16:51 AM  
Oh fark off.  You'll still be rich, b*tch.

And arguably part of the cause.
 
2022-06-02 11:25:20 AM  
Gon' git ugly folks

If the makeshift shantytowns springing up all over the place here in Seattle is any indication the economy already is in the toilet. Seriously, stop spending money on useless shiat and start putting away a little extra in the Just In Case fund.
 
2022-06-02 11:27:39 AM  
I'll see your hurricane and submit the prediction of Earth Killing Meteor.
 
2022-06-02 11:31:09 AM  
Is he just angry that the shareholders voted down his bonus? I mean, he'll probably still get it.

Calm down, Jamie.
 
2022-06-02 11:34:11 AM  
Translation:  Rich people are going to lose money, and blame it on poor people.
 
2022-06-02 11:35:58 AM  
I hear that life is like a hurricane, here in duckburg.
Race cars, lasers, aeroplanes, it's a duck-blur.
 
2022-06-02 11:38:47 AM  

doosh: Gon' git ugly folks

If the makeshift shantytowns springing up all over the place here in Seattle is any indication the economy already is in the toilet. Seriously, stop spending money on useless shiat and start putting away a little extra in the Just In Case fund.


Most of 'murica doesn't have a little extra to put away.

/has emergency fund
 
2022-06-02 11:43:18 AM  
I don't think I've ever seen an interview with this guy where he WASN'T shiatting his pants over the economy.  This boy cries wolf so often it's not much of a shock when his predictions turn out to be right every once in a while.
 
2022-06-02 11:43:19 AM  
The media will tell you that the economy isn't bad until rich people start losing money.

Families can't pay rent and cover dad's medical bills? What can you do?

Bezos might lose 1% of his wealth? Holy shiat, someone do something quick, the world may be ending!
 
2022-06-02 11:47:55 AM  

doosh: Gon' git ugly folks

If the makeshift shantytowns springing up all over the place here in Seattle is any indication the economy already is in the toilet. Seriously, stop spending money on useless shiat and start putting away a little extra in the Just In Case fund.


Money won't help you with 20% monthly Inflation. Buy essentials.
 
2022-06-02 11:49:20 AM  

A Cave Geek: Translation:  Rich people are going to lose money, and blame it on poor people.


Ding.
 
2022-06-02 11:50:59 AM  

Daer21: doosh: Gon' git ugly folks

If the makeshift shantytowns springing up all over the place here in Seattle is any indication the economy already is in the toilet. Seriously, stop spending money on useless shiat and start putting away a little extra in the Just In Case fund.

Money won't help you with 20% monthly Inflation. Buy essentials.


Forgot the /s here. Oops.
 
2022-06-02 11:53:03 AM  

Daer21: Daer21: doosh: Gon' git ugly folks

If the makeshift shantytowns springing up all over the place here in Seattle is any indication the economy already is in the toilet. Seriously, stop spending money on useless shiat and start putting away a little extra in the Just In Case fund.

Money won't help you with 20% monthly Inflation. Buy essentials.

Forgot the /s here. Oops.


I was gonna say---BOOMER!
 
2022-06-02 11:54:04 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-06-02 11:57:11 AM  
What, is this guy, like, only 30 years old?
 
2022-06-02 12:18:26 PM  

A Cave Geek: Translation:  Rich people are going to lose money, and blame it on poor people.


In a downturn the rich get richer. They gobble up more assets. This basically a warning to have some cash ready for the steals
 
2022-06-02 12:22:41 PM  
So, the economy is gonna rock us like a hurricane?
 
2022-06-02 12:33:14 PM  
Being poor in USA just got a lot more expensive.
 
2022-06-02 12:36:49 PM  

Daer21: doosh: Gon' git ugly folks

If the makeshift shantytowns springing up all over the place here in Seattle is any indication the economy already is in the toilet. Seriously, stop spending money on useless shiat and start putting away a little extra in the Just In Case fund.

Money won't help you with 20% monthly Inflation. Buy essentials.


Buy on unsecured credit and start shopping for a good bankruptcy attorney.
As bad as TFG** was, there were lessons to learn.
 
2022-06-02 12:40:03 PM  

Daer21: doosh: Gon' git ugly folks

If the makeshift shantytowns springing up all over the place here in Seattle is any indication the economy already is in the toilet. Seriously, stop spending money on useless shiat and start putting away a little extra in the Just In Case fund.

Money won't help you with 20% monthly Inflation. Buy essentials.


Crypto, definitely crypto.
 
2022-06-02 12:57:46 PM  
So, looks like it's beans and weenies four nights a week for Mr. and Mrs. Dimon. Sad, that.
 
2022-06-02 1:29:46 PM  

doosh: Gon' git ugly folks

If the makeshift shantytowns springing up all over the place here in Seattle is any indication the economy already is in the toilet. Seriously, stop spending money on useless shiat and start putting away a little extra in the Just In Case fund.


If we dont spend money, the economy goes in the shiatter.  If we do spend money, the economy goes in the shiatter.

If we dont spend, the elites will get a bailout and the fed will print money.  Devaluing what litte we have saved.  If we do spend, we dont have any money but we might keep the overmaster class happy and not need money printer go brrrr.

The cheat code up down up down A B guns.  Get guns for the collapse.  When it collapses, we wont have Our Democracy to save.  It will be dead.  We will have to protect the sweet goo in our skulls from private armies controlled by billionaires.
 
2022-06-02 2:00:43 PM  
I cannot believe that this hasn't been posted yet
Scorpions - Rock You Like A Hurricane (Official Music Video)
Youtube 6yP1tcy9a10
 
2022-06-02 2:09:44 PM  
But will the consequences ever be the same?
 
2022-06-02 2:29:31 PM  
Step 1 for bank CEO: Short everything. Step 2: Announce markets are going to shiat in any minute. Step 3: Profit.
 
2022-06-02 2:54:33 PM  

A Cave Geek: Translation:  Rich people are going to lose money, and blame it on poor people.


I figure he's learning from Sgt SpaceX about manipulating the market.
 
2022-06-02 2:55:18 PM  

Intrepid00: A Cave Geek: Translation:  Rich people are going to lose money, and blame it on poor people.

In a downturn the rich get richer. They gobble up more assets. This basically a warning to have some cash ready for the steals


Heck, that's what I'm doing.  As the market goes down the companies I like buy stock from are going on sale.  When the market's hot and the companies I like are expensive, I tend to hold off, and just enjoy the returns.
 
2022-06-02 3:56:56 PM  
Good. I just bumped my 401k allotment. Gimme those cheap funds.
 
2022-06-02 7:20:47 PM  
Lil' Jamie runs Chase Bank.  He _*is*_ that sector of the economy.  Not the worst businessman; they did come out smelling like a rose after the financial industry-induced economic crash of 2008-09.  Natch.

That said, I had a very small Chase business account since I started a side gig in 2003. Enjoyed no fees for years, unless I goofed up and overdrafted or didn't have enough transactions or something. Well, last fall they started charging $15 per month minimum, with little warning. Dropped them like a bad transmission and went to a local credit union, hope to be even happier. We'll see how their new online system works out.

Crazy that we still need paper checks sometimes.
 
2022-06-02 7:23:09 PM  
A really bad year for Chase was along the lines of "we wrote off 6 billion, but profited $2B anyway...  poor us..."
 
2022-06-02 8:51:25 PM  

mudesi: I don't think I've ever seen an interview with this guy where he WASN'T shiatting his pants over the economy.  This boy cries wolf so often it's not much of a shock when his predictions turn out to be right every once in a while.


It's defensive.  The market advice being provided by JP is actually down in the short term, up in the long term, no cause for concern if you're holding investments past 12 months.
 
2022-06-03 8:36:35 AM  

SoupGuru: The media will tell you that the economy isn't bad until rich people start losing money.

Families can't pay rent and cover dad's medical bills? What can you do?

Bezos might lose 1% of his wealth? Holy shiat, someone do something quick, the world may be ending!


I hate things kinds of class warfare comments but yeah... that's about right.
 
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