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(Daily Star)   According to these Brit MI6 bosses, Russian tyrant Vlad the Bad is dead and using a body-double. Since this is a tabloid, he's probably living the high life in Barbados (possible nsfw content on page)   (dailystar.co.uk) divider line
    More: Unlikely, Moscow, Russia, Russian despot Vladimir Putin, Boris Yeltsin, Vladimir Putin, Russian president, President of Russia, Putin's recent media appearances  
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1180 clicks; posted to Politics » on 29 May 2022 at 7:35 AM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2022-05-29 4:51:49 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-05-29 6:44:06 AM  
And now my Lawrence pic doesn't make sense because the headline was snipped. Lame.
 
2022-05-29 6:49:53 AM  

A_Flying_Toaster: And now my Lawrence pic doesn't make sense because the headline was snipped. Lame.


two chicks at the same time ALWAYS makes sense, man.
 
2022-05-29 6:53:00 AM  
I think the Sunday Sport has a better story
pbs.twimg.comView Full Size
 
2022-05-29 6:59:24 AM  
Oh, they aren't letting anyone with any modicum of power out of the country right now, who don't have family IN Russia. Otherwise there would be a fleeing of rat oligarchs like the world has never seen before. And the moment that Putin takes a powder, half the government will bolt as well.

It's a nice fantasy, and it would make for a great DB Cooper story, only with a mass murderer instead of a fairly polite thief hijacking a plane, and I can see conspiracy buffs leaping for this because it would be great to imply that Putin didn't have cancer and there isn't going to be a whole lot of dead people before he gets replaced, but it's gonna happen.

The KGB doesn't really let you retire, even if you run the country. Especially if you run the country. No, Putin climbed onto that tiger a while ago, and if he hops off, it's gonna turn around and ett him all up.
 
2022-05-29 7:40:19 AM  

elvisaintdead: A_Flying_Toaster: And now my Lawrence pic doesn't make sense because the headline was snipped. Lame.

two chicks at the same time ALWAYS makes sense, man.


Lol I thought it was something to do with "no man you'd probably get your ass kicked for saying something like that man."
 
2022-05-29 7:45:04 AM  
 "I am not Vlad. My real name is Sergei, and I inherited this country from the previous Vladimir Putin, who was not Putin either. His name was Alexi. The real Putin had been dead for over 15 years, and living like a king buried like a pauper in Patagonia."
 
2022-05-29 7:52:36 AM  
He's one them lizard people with a people suit on.  Thing is, the old Putin, like a year ago, had to go back to his Lizard people for his mating season.  It's like a Vulcan Pon Far thing but in festival form.  So they brought in a new lizard guy to put on the Putin suit and that's why Putin looks different lately.  Also, this new lizard guy is super pissed off because he couldn't go to the big mating shindig because he's just a junior in their hierarchy.  He's naturally a militant bastard to begin with, but now he's pissed and that's why he attacked Ukraine.  But he doesn't understand air warfare - hell, he barely understands warfare above ground - so he's really farking up this war.  I don't know if the other lizard people are OK with him going to war like that, or if they're gonna do something about him or what.

Now, I need a director and a casting supervisor.  I'll do the screenplay and produce it myself, cuz that's where the money is.  Practical effects for the lizard people, think Red Lectroids.
 
2022-05-29 7:53:56 AM  
Is that the same place where 2pac and Biggie are living?
 
2022-05-29 8:05:02 AM  
"Hi I am Ezekiel, Vladimir's younger brother."
 
2022-05-29 8:12:58 AM  

elvisaintdead: A_Flying_Toaster: And now my Lawrence pic doesn't make sense because the headline was snipped. Lame.

two chicks at the same time ALWAYS makes sense, man.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-05-29 8:15:44 AM  
It's zombie Kruschev in a Putin skin suit. Makes as much sense.
 
2022-05-29 8:24:40 AM  
Is it my turn to be the Dread Pirate Putin yet?
 
2022-05-29 8:28:15 AM  
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'We tie fishing line to his arms & legs then manipulate him like a puppet!
Who wants to shove their arm up his ass for the lip movement part? Anyone?'
 
2022-05-29 8:34:38 AM  
Now it makes sense.  Yesterday, my Uber driver said "Maybe you'd be more respectful if you knew your driver was the former President of Russia.  Care for tea?"

Don't care.  I want NPR on the radio.  It's Saturday morning.  And 'no' on the tea.
 
2022-05-29 8:35:19 AM  
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2022-05-29 8:35:24 AM  
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Fred VII led the organization more competently after he "killed" the original Cobra Commander.

Hopefully Влад VII doesn't do the same....
 
2022-05-29 8:42:30 AM  
The lizard people made their move and are now in charge.
 
2022-05-29 8:42:34 AM  

Aquapope: He's one them lizard people with a people suit on.  Thing is, the old Putin, like a year ago, had to go back to his Lizard people for his mating season.  It's like a Vulcan Pon Far thing but in festival form.  So they brought in a new lizard guy to put on the Putin suit and that's why Putin looks different lately.  Also, this new lizard guy is super pissed off because he couldn't go to the big mating shindig because he's just a junior in their hierarchy.  He's naturally a militant bastard to begin with, but now he's pissed and that's why he attacked Ukraine.  But he doesn't understand air warfare - hell, he barely understands warfare above ground - so he's really farking up this war.  I don't know if the other lizard people are OK with him going to war like that, or if they're gonna do something about him or what.

Now, I need a director and a casting supervisor.  I'll do the screenplay and produce it myself, cuz that's where the money is.  Practical effects for the lizard people, think Red Lectroids.


Putin went back, the Putin we are watching is the tail he dropped.
 
2022-05-29 8:42:42 AM  

batlock666: Is that the same place where 2pac and Biggie are living?


And Ken Lay.
 
2022-05-29 8:44:22 AM  

Aquapope: He's one them lizard people with a people suit on.  Thing is, the old Putin, like a year ago, had to go back to his Lizard people for his mating season.  It's like a Vulcan Pon Far thing but in festival form.  So they brought in a new lizard guy to put on the Putin suit and that's why Putin looks different lately.  Also, this new lizard guy is super pissed off because he couldn't go to the big mating shindig because he's just a junior in their hierarchy.  He's naturally a militant bastard to begin with, but now he's pissed and that's why he attacked Ukraine.  But he doesn't understand air warfare - hell, he barely understands warfare above ground - so he's really farking up this war.  I don't know if the other lizard people are OK with him going to war like that, or if they're gonna do something about him or what.

Now, I need a director and a casting supervisor.  I'll do the screenplay and produce it myself, cuz that's where the money is.  Practical effects for the lizard people, think Red Lectroids.


Funnied.. just a curiosity, but it is thought the original ancestor of reptiles birds and mammals had reptilian characteristics that we inherited, so, uh, we are reptiles.

//trees also have about 50% of our DNA too
 
2022-05-29 8:48:03 AM  
i.makeagif.comView Full Size
 
2022-05-29 8:53:10 AM  
So this is what counts as a green these days, hmmm?
 
2022-05-29 8:55:58 AM  

johnphantom: //trees also have about 50% of our DNA too


Homo Erectus was one horny dude and would Fark anything.  Did you see how the wind made those branches move?
 
2022-05-29 9:00:16 AM  

BizarreMan: johnphantom: //trees also have about 50% of our DNA too

Homo Erectus was one horny dude and would Fark anything.  Did you see how the wind made those branches move?


Trees are big into bukkake too.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-05-29 9:06:34 AM  
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2022-05-29 9:10:49 AM  
He's just been hidden away somewhere with JFK and Elvis.

149348896.v2.pressablecdn.comView Full Size
 
2022-05-29 9:14:27 AM  
Two years ago:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-05-29 9:33:34 AM  
'The real Vladimir Putin has been retired fifteen years and has been living like a king in Patagonia'
 
2022-05-29 9:36:18 AM  
When the Sun quotes "secret sources" and claims it's MI6, it's really the product of on-the-clock research down at the pub.  The six refers to the number of drinks.
 
2022-05-29 9:43:45 AM  

johnphantom: Aquapope: He's one them lizard people with a people suit on.  Thing is, the old Putin, like a year ago, had to go back to his Lizard people for his mating season.  It's like a Vulcan Pon Far thing but in festival form.  So they brought in a new lizard guy to put on the Putin suit and that's why Putin looks different lately.  Also, this new lizard guy is super pissed off because he couldn't go to the big mating shindig because he's just a junior in their hierarchy.  He's naturally a militant bastard to begin with, but now he's pissed and that's why he attacked Ukraine.  But he doesn't understand air warfare - hell, he barely understands warfare above ground - so he's really farking up this war.  I don't know if the other lizard people are OK with him going to war like that, or if they're gonna do something about him or what.

Now, I need a director and a casting supervisor.  I'll do the screenplay and produce it myself, cuz that's where the money is.  Practical effects for the lizard people, think Red Lectroids.

Funnied.. just a curiosity, but it is thought the original ancestor of reptiles birds and mammals had reptilian characteristics that we inherited, so, uh, we are reptiles.

//trees also have about 50% of our DNA too


Of course.  mammals branched from reptiles branched from something we might call amphibians branched from a fishlike thing branched from a... I don't know... notochord, bilateral symmetry, whatever that thing was.  Something cuttlefishy, which isn't a fish.  What that thing branched from?  Yikes, that was many hundreds of millions of years ago.  I got no real idea.  Maybe a sea cucumberish thing with wiggly somethings to move about?
 
2022-05-29 10:12:35 AM  
The tabloid  is correct, and they are on Vlad the V.
 
2022-05-29 10:19:14 AM  
MI6 bosses?

Let me know when the boffins weigh in.
 
2022-05-29 10:21:38 AM  

A_Flying_Toaster: And now my Lawrence pic doesn't make sense because the headline was snipped. Lame.


Always  always  makes sense man.
 
2022-05-29 10:26:23 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-05-29 10:28:26 AM  

oldfarthenry: [Fark user image 425x247]
'We tie fishing line to his arms & legs then manipulate him like a puppet!
Who wants to shove their arm up his ass for the lip movement part? Anyone?'


That movie is totally underrated. Very close to the actual situation in those days.
Great cast.
 
2022-05-29 10:30:19 AM  
I'm pretty sure that he's alive, for now.

I have some doubts that we'll be able to say that a year from now. There are several reasonable observations that his health is poor and he doesn't have a lot of friends left.
 
2022-05-29 10:33:03 AM  

batlock666: Is that the same place where 2pac and Biggie are living?


Bro. Tupac and Biggie got gay married and run a very profitable chain of bed and breakfasts in Vermont.
 
2022-05-29 10:37:26 AM  

elvisaintdead: A_Flying_Toaster: And now my Lawrence pic doesn't make sense because the headline was snipped. Lame.

two chicks at the same time ALWAYS makes sense, man.


dude, don't  shepherd on me
 
2022-05-29 11:06:59 AM  

iheartscotch: batlock666: Is that the same place where 2pac and Biggie are living?

Bro. Tupac and Biggie got gay married and run a very profitable chain of bed and breakfasts in Vermont.


The Missus and I stayed there last year.  Biggie made a quiche for breakfast that was amazing.  I wish I could figure out how they folded the napkins to look like a glock.
 
2022-05-29 11:33:39 AM  

Aquapope: johnphantom: Aquapope: He's one them lizard people with a people suit on.  Thing is, the old Putin, like a year ago, had to go back to his Lizard people for his mating season.  It's like a Vulcan Pon Far thing but in festival form.  So they brought in a new lizard guy to put on the Putin suit and that's why Putin looks different lately.  Also, this new lizard guy is super pissed off because he couldn't go to the big mating shindig because he's just a junior in their hierarchy.  He's naturally a militant bastard to begin with, but now he's pissed and that's why he attacked Ukraine.  But he doesn't understand air warfare - hell, he barely understands warfare above ground - so he's really farking up this war.  I don't know if the other lizard people are OK with him going to war like that, or if they're gonna do something about him or what.

Now, I need a director and a casting supervisor.  I'll do the screenplay and produce it myself, cuz that's where the money is.  Practical effects for the lizard people, think Red Lectroids.

Funnied.. just a curiosity, but it is thought the original ancestor of reptiles birds and mammals had reptilian characteristics that we inherited, so, uh, we are reptiles.

//trees also have about 50% of our DNA too

Of course.  mammals branched from reptiles branched from something we might call amphibians branched from a fishlike thing branched from a... I don't know... notochord, bilateral symmetry, whatever that thing was.  Something cuttlefishy, which isn't a fish.  What that thing branched from?  Yikes, that was many hundreds of millions of years ago.  I got no real idea.  Maybe a sea cucumberish thing with wiggly somethings to move about?


Our skin is related to reptiles' scales.
 
2022-05-29 11:36:17 AM  
 Why do they even bother to print this nonsense? Did they really think we would turn our attention away from Dallas before JFK jr gives the oath of office back to Donald?
 
2022-05-29 11:37:14 AM  
If he's dead he's not using anything.

If he's dead it's not a body double anymore, it's just a body.

I wish he was dead.
 
2022-05-29 11:39:14 AM  

Cornelius Dribble: Two years ago:
[Fark user image 600x338]


Was just about to come here and say this. ^^^
 
2022-05-29 11:49:34 AM  
They almost got it right. Any QAnon loon would tell you that Putin's replacement is a clone, not a body double. And how all the politicians in the USA are clones too. And how you are a normie and a sheep if you don't want to watch insane YouTube conspiracy videos for the next three hours...
 
2022-05-29 12:42:47 PM  
...why are we accepting articles from tabloids in the politics section?
 
2022-05-29 1:49:02 PM  

Ragin' Asian: It's zombie Kruschev in a Putin skin suit. Makes as much sense.


Nope. Khrushchev, for all his many faults, was familiar with war. It's unlikely even a 130-year-old Khrushchev would bungle a war this badly. Andropov would be more likely- he also was KGB.
 
2022-05-29 1:50:36 PM  

Armchair_Invective: He's just been hidden away somewhere with JFK and Elvis.

[149348896.v2.pressablecdn.com image 850x489]


Dear FSM, how I love that movie. Ossie Davis really killed in that role.

"They dyed me this color!"
 
2022-05-29 2:16:50 PM  
Vlad: mr beatle, who really vas walrus?
PMc: All I can tell you is goo goo machoo and if I can get away with it so can you!
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-05-30 1:10:04 AM  
Last night I watched "Iron Sky: The Coming Race".  I think that might have told the true story about Putin.
 
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