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(Fark)   Subby was recently gifted a bottle of strawberry flavored bourbon, and discovered that it's utter crap. It isn't even fit to be poured down the drain. What other booze atrocities have you come across, either accidentally or intentionally?   (fark.com) divider line
    More: Sick, New Year, New Year's Day, Vodka, Flavored liquor, apple cider wine, white-girl drunk, long time, lots of white girl  
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270 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 26 May 2022 at 9:16 PM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2022-05-26 5:53:26 PM  
Hands down

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God, it's got a terrible aftertaste.
 
2022-05-26 5:57:00 PM  
Wray and Nephew rum.  Won it at a resort for... I don't remember what.  Tasted godawful, and there was nothing to mix it with that would kill the taste.
 
2022-05-26 5:57:21 PM  
Cheap rice liquor when I was in China.  Tasted sort of like moldy licorice.
 
2022-05-26 5:59:10 PM  
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It tastes like rubbing alcohol and the contents of a spittoon.
 
2022-05-26 5:59:18 PM  
A long time ago a friend of ours came over for New Years with a bottle of liquor called "Tattoo"
The label art was fantastic, the contents a deep blue.

We were already holiday drunk when we opened it and I noticed, after pours, the blue transferred to the tips of two of my fingers, and all our lips.

Noon, New Year's Day, friend calls "Just fyi? I peed blue this morning....don't freak out"
and, a second message later "also.....poops...."

Kept the bottle for years before dumping the never-again touched liquid.
 
2022-05-26 6:01:48 PM  

parasol: A long time ago a friend of ours came over for New Years with a bottle of liquor called "Tattoo"
The label art was fantastic, the contents a deep blue.

We were already holiday drunk when we opened it and I noticed, after pours, the blue transferred to the tips of two of my fingers, and all our lips.

Noon, New Year's Day, friend calls "Just fyi? I peed blue this morning....don't freak out"
and, a second message later "also.....poops...."

Kept the bottle for years before dumping the never-again touched liquid.


Sounds like vodak infused with port-a-pottie sanitizing liquid.
 
2022-05-26 6:02:32 PM  

parasol: A long time ago a friend of ours came over for New Years with a bottle of liquor called "Tattoo"
The label art was fantastic, the contents a deep blue.

We were already holiday drunk when we opened it and I noticed, after pours, the blue transferred to the tips of two of my fingers, and all our lips.

Noon, New Year's Day, friend calls "Just fyi? I peed blue this morning....don't freak out"
and, a second message later "also.....poops...."

Kept the bottle for years before dumping the never-again touched liquid.


I got white-girl drunk on Goldschlager just out of college. The inevitable puke was...festive.
 
2022-05-26 6:03:36 PM  

markie_farkie: parasol: A long time ago a friend of ours came over for New Years with a bottle of liquor called "Tattoo"
The label art was fantastic, the contents a deep blue.

We were already holiday drunk when we opened it and I noticed, after pours, the blue transferred to the tips of two of my fingers, and all our lips.

Noon, New Year's Day, friend calls "Just fyi? I peed blue this morning....don't freak out"
and, a second message later "also.....poops...."

Kept the bottle for years before dumping the never-again touched liquid.

Sounds like vodak infused with port-a-pottie sanitizing liquid.


Did I mention we were already pretty...cheerful?

Couldn't tell you to this day what it tasted like but, boy, was it a pretty bottle of blue....whatever...coming and going.
 
2022-05-26 6:04:37 PM  

Squid_for_Brains: parasol: A long time ago a friend of ours came over for New Years with a bottle of liquor called "Tattoo"
The label art was fantastic, the contents a deep blue.

We were already holiday drunk when we opened it and I noticed, after pours, the blue transferred to the tips of two of my fingers, and all our lips.

Noon, New Year's Day, friend calls "Just fyi? I peed blue this morning....don't freak out"
and, a second message later "also.....poops...."

Kept the bottle for years before dumping the never-again touched liquid.

I got white-girl drunk on Goldschlager just out of college. The inevitable puke was...festive.


Goldschlager.....shudder
 
2022-05-26 6:08:11 PM  
Got something in a screw-cap bottle labeled "mead" as a housewarming gift in college. Utterly vile, and after a foggy week we ended up pouring it down a manhole in an attempted sacrifice to the sun gods...who were apparently as disgusted as we had been and sent a magnitude 5.9 earthquake in reply.
 
2022-05-26 6:10:12 PM  

common sense is an oxymoron: "mead"


Mead in your Manhole sounds like some kind of Medieval dungeon kink.
 
2022-05-26 6:10:54 PM  
Peanut butter whiskey.  Holy crap that's bad.
 
2022-05-26 6:12:35 PM  

enry: Peanut butter whiskey.  Holy crap that's bad.


I think so as well, but many people told me to use it in hot chocolate. Which I will certainly NOT do, but many people say that makes it drinkable.

Could you imagine it on the rocks??
 
2022-05-26 6:13:41 PM  

enry: Peanut butter whiskey.  Holy crap that's bad.


A buddy told me it's pretty decent when mixed with Kahlua but you know what? I never looked a my morning coffee mug and thought a glob of Skippy would take it to the next level.
 
2022-05-26 6:15:06 PM  

enry: Peanut butter whiskey.  Holy crap that's bad.


Mix it with grapefruit juice, cheddar cheese, and a couple dashes of cod liver oil.

It might help.
 
2022-05-26 6:24:31 PM  
This farking shiat
Fark user imageView Full Size

Opens up beautifully, like a sweet-ish brandy with the actual scent of rose petals. Followed up by the most revoltingly bitter finish. I'd rather gargle with Malort.
 
2022-05-26 6:27:43 PM  
I made some apple cider wine that when one drinks, as one does as a teenager, causes instant vomitosis.

Vomitosis may be a made up word but when looking at what comes up, it fits perfect.
 
2022-05-26 6:32:28 PM  
I know it's popular down here but I do not understand the michelada.  Hey, let's take a perfectly fine beer and load it up with tomato juice, clam squeezings, salt, tamarind, chili powder, and god knows what else.
 
2022-05-26 6:41:53 PM  
Any of the Smirnoff or Pinnacle flavored vodaks.
 
2022-05-26 6:46:30 PM  

casey17: Any of the Smirnoff or Pinnacle flavored vodaks.


I had a blueberry Smirnoff. Among the worst things I've ever tasted, and I've had a ceaser
 
jbc [TotalFark]
2022-05-26 6:52:10 PM  
Osco store brand tequila in a big plastic bottle, circa 1990.
 
2022-05-26 7:01:33 PM  
I was a victim of cryptic coloration.

I picked up 

Fark user imageView Full Size


Instead of
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2022-05-26 7:01:49 PM  
Crown Royale maple syrup flavored whiskey. Got it as a joke, found it was undrinkable.

But I did find a solution. If I put it on waffles it was almost an acceptable substitute. Then I threw the rest away.
 
2022-05-26 7:08:08 PM  
Up in Alberta a couple of decades ago...Key Lim Pie liqueur.   I knew it was going to be weird, but it was so craptastic we never got past the first sips.  I don't even remember who made it, maybe Malibu or Bacardi, it wasn't some off-brand.
 
2022-05-26 7:15:32 PM  
Anything Pinnacle.  A friend once brought Pinnacle whipped cram vodka to a party.  Holy FARK that was bad.  Since then, I've seen lots of white girl "'tinis" made with Pinnacle flavored vodkas - they all seem to result in the same white girl drunk and horrific morning after.
 
2022-05-26 7:34:49 PM  

thecactusman17: Crown Royale maple syrup flavored whiskey. Got it as a joke, found it was undrinkable.

But I did find a solution. If I put it on waffles it was almost an acceptable substitute. Then I threw the rest away.


You know maple syrup and whiskey doesn't sound like it should be terrible?
 
2022-05-26 7:43:50 PM  
Cognac is only good for cleaning engine parts.
 
2022-05-26 8:15:52 PM  
Aquavit. The taste of black liquorice. Can't do it. Mistakes were made.
 
2022-05-26 9:07:31 PM  
Use it for baking.
 
2022-05-26 9:29:48 PM  
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2022-05-26 9:33:51 PM  
My wife had a coworker whose husband worked for a liquor distributor, and she'd bring in mini bottles and samples and new products to work sometimes.  We have a bottle of birthday cake vodka that we're still kind of undecided on what to do with it.
 
2022-05-26 9:37:54 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: Anything Pinnacle.  A friend once brought Pinnacle whipped cram vodka to a party.  Holy FARK that was bad.  Since then, I've seen lots of white girl "'tinis" made with Pinnacle flavored vodkas - they all seem to result in the same white girl drunk and horrific morning after.


My son had a party at my house when he was still in college and a girl brought a handle of Pinnacle Vanilla. The next morning, maybe two shots had been taken out of it and they left the rest. It was pretty bad, but I did make a milkshake with it. That actually was drinkable.
 
2022-05-26 9:40:09 PM  

Fear the Clam: [Fark user image 450x800]


Interesting in small quantities (1/2 oz or less) in tropical drinks. Any more than that, it's like Fidel Castro taking over Havana.
 
2022-05-26 9:43:11 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: Anything Pinnacle.  A friend once brought Pinnacle whipped cram vodka to a party.  Holy FARK that was bad.  Since then, I've seen lots of white girl "'tinis" made with Pinnacle flavored vodkas - they all seem to result in the same white girl drunk and horrific morning after.


Some friends and I tried that while sampling different vodkas. Just horrible.
 
2022-05-26 9:46:47 PM  
I had maple beer once.
/I now despise maple in any form that is to be ingested.
 
2022-05-26 9:51:07 PM  
This.  Tasted like someone found the cheapest "maple" syrup they could, poured it on a stack of newspapers, lit it on fire, let it burn a bit, put the fire out by pouring stale Miller Lite on it, then bottled the runoff.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-05-26 9:55:12 PM  

Gubbo: thecactusman17: Crown Royale maple syrup flavored whiskey. Got it as a joke, found it was undrinkable.

But I did find a solution. If I put it on waffles it was almost an acceptable substitute. Then I threw the rest away.

You know maple syrup and whiskey doesn't sound like it should be terrible?


Real maple syrup added to whiskey as a sweetener is awesome.

There's no telling what "maple flavor" is, other than an abomination.
 
2022-05-26 9:55:27 PM  
Night Train + Everclear
 
2022-05-26 10:17:34 PM  
When I was growing up, all the other teenagers were into the sloe gin fizz.

Tastes like dirt.
 
2022-05-26 10:17:41 PM  
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2022-05-26 10:36:33 PM  
Fireball
 
2022-05-26 10:53:55 PM  
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I used to have a buddy back in high school who was Lebanese, and we used to raid his parents liquor cabinet regularly.  They had this nasty concoction called arak that has a slight licorice taste.  Worst tasting stuff I'd ever drank, but we were 16 so we would drink pretty much anything.

These days any thing with alcohol in it is a problem for me, so it's better that I stay away from it.  It's one of those things where you know I don't know whether I'll end up two states over or not.
 
2022-05-26 11:03:45 PM  
There's this thing called "India Pale Ale".  It's quite horrific.
 
2022-05-26 11:06:44 PM  

Marcus Aurelius: There's this thing called "India Pale Ale".  It's quite horrific.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-05-26 11:23:15 PM  
Baja Rosa.

Strawberry cream tequila liquor. I don't know if the nip I had was spoiled, but, I can't imagine anyone willingly drinking that shiat. I've had everything from homemade white dog to Bacardi 151 in a varnished goblet (read "I had varnish & Bacardi 151 in a wooden goblet"), and I'd drink any of that again before I drink Baja Rosa.
 
2022-05-26 11:26:53 PM  
I used to work at a tavern that specialized in microbrews from all over the US. One time we featured Dogfish Head Brewery for a promo. Part of the deal for being able to pour some of their hard to find beers was that we had to buy a keg of one of their special one-offs.

It was a CHOCOLATE BASIL LOBSTER STOUT.

It took us months to sell through that garbage, and my taste buds have never recovered.
 
2022-05-26 11:28:11 PM  

rc3ntexas: Fireball


My SIL was visiting and liked Fireball. Bought a 150ml bottle for her to drink. On the way to the house, she bought a handle, had one drink out of it then left the bottle when she went back to CA. Should really pour it out.
 
2022-05-26 11:40:10 PM  
Some kind of honey liqueur that was absolutely vile. We kept it around because every party has that one person who would state, "I'd feel so much better if I could just puke". And puke they would.

Also, someone had the horrible idea to mix bad tequila with a McDonald's strawberry shake and bottle it. Wretched.
 
2022-05-27 12:26:43 AM  

Thosw: rc3ntexas: Fireball

My SIL was visiting and liked Fireball. Bought a 150ml bottle for her to drink. On the way to the house, she bought a handle, had one drink out of it then left the bottle when she went back to CA. Should really pour it out.


It's nice in hot apple cider. That's kind of a lot of it to hang on to just for that, though.
 
2022-05-27 12:29:02 AM  

Squid_for_Brains: This farking shiat
[Fark user image 425x566]
Opens up beautifully, like a sweet-ish brandy with the actual scent of rose petals. Followed up by the most revoltingly bitter finish. I'd rather gargle with Malort.


The 7 star is less bad, and the 12 star is ok.

But if you're in Greece, just drink the tsipouro in unabelled bottles that every restaurant seems to have.

Or the ouzo if you're crazy.
 
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