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Fark NotNewsletter: Graduation time
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2022-05-25 11:11:58 AM (47 comments) | Permalink
• • •
774 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 May 2022 at 8:15 PM (11 weeks ago) | | share:
A message from Drew Curtis:
There have been a few times in the past almost-25 years where comedic news isn't the right fit for the news cycle. Unfortunately we're in another one. I'm really struggling this time. I think it's because Storm is graduating from high school this weekend.
His school does a fun thing where the graduating kids get to go back to their elementary schools wearing caps and gowns and visit their old teachers and meet the younger kids. Storm's elementary is already out for summer but we're going back there in a few hours so he can walk around and reminisce all he wants. The principal's been kind enough to open it for him and another classmate who also went there with him.
I have tons of memories of him at that school. The first day I dropped him off, he just took off, no tears at all, as if he'd been there all along and knew exactly what he was doing. I remember him riding a tricycle around the play area, playing baseball with his friends, and generally just being a kid.
I'm incredibly sad today that there are so many parents who will never get to see their children do these things.
We'll keep on keeping on over here. Meanwhile, be kind to each other. If you need respite from all this on Fark, the STEM tab is where you want to be. Could use some more D'awww submissions as well if anyone wants some easy greenlights.
No livestream this week, it's not a good time for it right now.
End Drew transmission
Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week
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Cthulhu Theory showed that marriage has its ups and downs
aleister_greynight explained how a gun that was stolen from an Alaskan state trooper in the '70s recently ended up in a South Carolina middle schooler's backpack
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Fart And Smunny provided interpretations of Elon Musk's behavior regarding Twitter
IRestoreFurniture learned that terrible people often hide their awfulness until they assume it's safe to reveal it
hubiestubert shared what it's like to survive and aortic dissection
shoegaze99 told us how a friend became an ex-friend
Ivo Shandor had a suggestion to make Amber Alerts more effective
shoegaze99 pointed out evidence that racist people know they're crap
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CSB Sunday Morning theme: What things do you like that your SO just does NOT understand?
Smart: 2fardownthread's partner loves "Americans' sense of humor"
Funny: the unabomber was right buys cels
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BigMax reassured Alex Jones that there isn't a secret globalist/soda plot shrinking men's genitals
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Notabunny figured out the cause of every crime committed since the end of January
bostonguy pointed out the kind of thinking that makes Sen. Bill Cassidy think Black women shouldn't count in maternal death rates
nmrsnr suggested President Biden should try making a bureaucratic error
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OptionC thought the "hardcore litigation department" Elon Musk is assembling for Tesla might cause problems for him
hubiestubert described how Russian soldiers are right to be afraid
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Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week
Autoerotic Defenestration used an automobile to make an automatic vacuum cleaner
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Farktography theme: The Birds and the Bees
This Farktography ended in a tie between Circusdog320's perky Steller's jay and kittyhas1000legs' strolling sandhill crane
Fark Headlines of the Week
A selection of some of the top headlines from last week
Baltic states welcome NATO applications by Finland and Sweden, extend invitations to build cheap houses and hotels
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How to piss off fans of Johnny Cash
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In a sign of optimism, prosecutors seek a five-year jail term for a 101-year-old Nazi guard
Elon Musk announces the creation of his latest venture: The Law Firm of Dunning & Kruger
Oil prices skyrocket. Not to worry, they will also crater. Not to worry, crater is up there on a meteor. Not to worry, meteor is hurtling towards earth, will end up cratering. Not to worry, the material kicked up from that crater will skyrocket
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Today is National Cherry Cobbler Day, so let's all celebrate the skills required to make tiny shoes out of cherry skins
Bernard Bigot, French scientist leading nuclear fusion project ITER, dies at 72. Funeral expected to be no more than twenty years from now
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Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)
Another fun time on this week's Quiz, where I learned that cats determine their minions more so than humans determine their cats. No one made the 1000 club, which sucks because I was going to give everyone who did a free kitten so I could be done with them. freakingmoron was anything but with a first place score of 987, followed by scrumpox with 968 and Tailspin Tommy in third with 960. BigChad made fourth with 955, and timoth1 made it into the top 5 with 938,
The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about a beer maker getting into the latest cash cow - not having cows. Only 36% of quiztakers caught the article about Molson Coors and their new Golden Wing Barley Milk, which they should probably start spelling "barleymilk" without the space in order to not upset the dairy people. For the record, AB InBev is the world's largest producer of beer, and Heineken is second. No word on whether Starbucks will be upcharging for it or risking more gluing incidents.
The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about which notorious criminal from the past few years has been released from prison five years early. 89% of quiztakers knew that it was "Pharma Bro" Martin Shkreli who was out early from his sentence for securities fraud. I'm gonna guess his new crypto investment strategy will be released very soon.
The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about which famous scientist is now hawking underwear for an Australian sustainable clothing manufacturer. Only 51% of quiztakers had heard that Dame Jane Goodall had appeared in a spot for Boody, albeit with her clothes on, but surrounded by folks not wearing much more than the chimpanzees she is famous for studying.
The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about the deadliest volcanic eruption in recorded United States history. 95% of quiztakers remembered the Mount St. Helens disaster of 1980, where 57 people lost their lives. Since then, we've become increasingly able to predict eruptions and warn people before they occur. For what it's worth, there are 161 potentially active volcanoes in the United States, the most well-known of which is Mauna Loa in Hawai'i.
If you missed out last week, it's a great time to catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz now that you know a few of the answers. Congratulations once again to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again on Friday.
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