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(Marketwatch)   My girlfriend doesn't understand how her student loan works and rents a pricey apartment. I don't understand how divorce law works and will need a pricey atty. What if one of us decides to become vegan?   (marketwatch.com) divider line
    More: Obvious, Marriage, Debt, Anxiety, Forgiveness, Investment, organizational playbook, have quirks, 27-year-old male  
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574 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 25 May 2022 at 12:05 PM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



17 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-05-25 10:24:15 AM  
A girlfriend of seven months, and this is where you're at in the relationship? Worried about the eventual divorce?

Don't get married. Not now, anyway. Wait a few years, see how things look after she's working a few years. See how you feel after having time to get past the newness of it all.

There are no perfect relationships. There will be give and take. If your goals are aligned, the "technical" side of the relationship (i.e. money, responsibilities, etc.) will probably function well enough. Personality-wise: that's more of a crapshoot. Take more time to get to know each other. Walk away if it's unworkable, sooner rather than later.
 
2022-05-25 10:48:33 AM  
"Both our parents married in their mid to late 20s and are still together"

We need one of those disclaimers they make you agree to when you sign up for an investment account: something like "Warning: Past performance is not a good indicator of future value. Always be careful when choosing your emotional investments"

..followed by someone slapping them for progressing to moving in together after 7 months...
 
2022-05-25 12:37:08 PM  
Don't marry someone who doesn't understand money.
 
2022-05-25 12:46:50 PM  

BMFPitt: Don't marry someone who doesn't understand money.


So, you're saying don't get married?

Actually, I'm proud of my girlfriend for finally getting her taxes done.  From 2020.  Ugh.
 
2022-05-25 12:47:09 PM  
I'd like if his GF told him there was a gold bar in that vat of pig manure, just to laugh at him wallowing around in it "for his financial security".
 
2022-05-25 12:59:27 PM  
People really ought to put their location in letters concerning finances and income.
Where I live, if he's making $90k/yr at 27 and still that concerned about the future, he needs to forget this chick and find someone as anal-retentive as he is.
 
2022-05-25 1:31:58 PM  
I would love to afford the kind of financial problems The Moneyist writes about.
 
2022-05-25 1:42:13 PM  
Anything that annoys you in a relationship is only going to annoy you more later.  It won't get better.  It won't go away.
 
2022-05-25 2:14:57 PM  

NewWorldDan: BMFPitt: Don't marry someone who doesn't understand money.

So, you're saying don't get married?

Actually, I'm proud of my girlfriend for finally getting her taxes done.  From 2020.  Ugh.


Having a decent job and not a lot of debt helps.

/listened to my parents arguing about money while growing up and am thankful it has never come up in 17 years of marriage because we live within our means.
 
2022-05-25 2:29:39 PM  
Guy has been rich his whole life and cannot fathom the complex series of escape valves a poor person has to navigate to just go to college
She needs to break up with him, he's a condescending farking dunce
 
2022-05-25 3:06:26 PM  

moothemagiccow: Guy has been rich his whole life and cannot fathom the complex series of escape valves a poor person has to navigate to just go to college
She needs to break up with him, he's a condescending farking dunce


So many of these stupid articles come across that way. "My net worth is upwards of $6M, either through making a ridiculously high salary for a couple decades, or inheriting a bunch of money from my rich parents and now pretending like it was my unflappable ambition that got me here. My idiot of a wife is worth less than $200k. I want to invest in a sketchy land deal with a guy who looks like an extra from The Sopranos, but she insists we don't need it and suggests we take our damn layabout kids on a vacation to see Europe. "Once in a lifetime," she calls it. How can I make her realize she's a f*cking moron and deserves to die?"
 
2022-05-25 3:15:00 PM  
Maybe I'm just losing my Fark cred, but neither of them seem particularly bad.

The dude is financially responsible and means well but needs to unclench his butthole a bit and stop overthinking everything.

The gal may not be as financially responsible, but it doesn't sound like she's out of control.  If she was racking up $100k in credit card debt, that's one thing.  But not understanding the byzantine rules of student loan forgiveness or renting an apartment that's maybe more than she needs aren't exactly the worst character flaws.
 
2022-05-25 4:28:09 PM  
What's to understand? Are student loans that different from other loans? Someone gives you money, you promise to pay it back.
 
2022-05-25 4:54:03 PM  
generally speaking never marry anyone but for sure never marry anyone who is bad with money.

you are just signing up for a series of fights that inevitably end with you making several boat payment for the local divorce attorney.
 
2022-05-25 8:00:59 PM  
That guy is a complete douchenozzle.

He could have said: "I disagree with my girlfriend's decisions, and want to be there for her if it goes wrong."

Instead he said: " I explained to my girlfriend why she was wrong, but she persisted. How do I fix her?"
 
2022-05-26 10:51:44 AM  

beezeltown: A girlfriend of seven months, and this is where you're at in the relationship? Worried about the eventual divorce?

Don't get married. Not now, anyway. Wait a few years, see how things look after she's working a few years. See how you feel after having time to get past the newness of it all.

There are no perfect relationships. There will be give and take. If your goals are aligned, the "technical" side of the relationship (i.e. money, responsibilities, etc.) will probably function well enough. Personality-wise: that's more of a crapshoot. Take more time to get to know each other. Walk away if it's unworkable, sooner rather than later.


I was going to say.  Why divorce if you're not married.
 
2022-05-26 12:29:24 PM  

HighZoolander: That guy is a complete douchenozzle.

He could have said: "I disagree with my girlfriend's decisions, and want to be there for her if it goes wrong."

Instead he said: " I explained to my girlfriend why she was wrong, but she persisted. How do I fix her?"


I don't think he's a complete ass, but he's definitely wrong to continue to try to "fix" her. He has two choices. Leave her and find someone more aligned with his values and habits on money, or wait and don't marry her until and unless her behavior changes on her own. I'm skeptical of the latter, so he should just move on.
 
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