Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Twitter)   Solution to too many guns in school: More guns, obviously. If only tax cuts were higher caliber, they'd throw those in, too   (twitter.com) divider line
    More: Followup, shot  
•       •       •

2045 clicks; posted to Politics » on 25 May 2022 at 1:17 AM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



110 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2022-05-24 5:21:42 PM  
Original Tweet:

 
2022-05-24 5:23:08 PM  
Tax cuts for gun buyers!
 
2022-05-24 5:24:18 PM  

coffeetime: Tax cuts for gun buyers!


Brilliant!  If we just saturate the air with bullets, the bullets will just hit each other and we'll all be safe, finally.
 
2022-05-24 5:29:44 PM  
School shooting?

It's a tragedy that no one could see coming, so the only solution is to get more guns into schools.

Jeebus. Can y'all at least find an alternate script?
 
2022-05-24 5:33:48 PM  
Seriously, why is this droopy-faced shiatstain not already in prison for fraud?
 
2022-05-24 6:21:50 PM  
It won't matter..

The gun nutters wouldn't be happy even if every newborn child was issued 50 guns and 50,000 rounds of ammo per year, and every word other than Gun and Bullet were banned from use, and every day was celebrated with every citizen firing a hundred rounds into the air while the National Anthem played.

Those not in compliance with the daily Glorification of Guns, even if they were in the hospital with every bone in their body broken, or paralyzed, or unconscious, or whatever, would be shot on the spot by True Patriots.

And the nutters would still whine that everyone's rights were being infringed upon, and demand more gunny gun gun gun stuff.
 
2022-05-24 8:33:15 PM  
Arm all the teachers and we get more accidents, kids stealing guns, teachers snapping and joining the Postal service. Get rid of the schools, they aren't in the constitution.
 
2022-05-24 8:59:24 PM  

hubiestubert: School shooting?

It's a tragedy that no one could see coming, so the only solution is to get more guns into schools.

Jeebus. Can y'all at least find an alternate script?


This script gets votes.
 
2022-05-24 9:10:07 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-05-24 9:21:05 PM  
I never thought they'd actually do it.... But there is a long game here. Longer than I had expected.

Eventually, conservatives are going to vote to take away any requirements to have an education, or to pass a background check, in order to become a teacher. School boards will vote to have ultra-conservative, even religious platforms, Federalist Society judges will say it's "freedom of speech", and the Supreme Court will agree 5-4.

School books across the country will be dumbed down. Other states will follow suit. Then? That's when it's Goofy time..

And we won't even *need* school choice in these states, because the public schools are now the religious charter schools. Of course, school choice will be required by then, as mandated by the Supreme Court for blue states.
 
2022-05-24 9:25:48 PM  

puffy999: And we won't even *need* school choice in these states, because the public schools are now the religious charter schools. Of course, school choice will be required by then, as mandated by the Supreme Court for blue states


I forgot to add, if you're atheist? Muslim? Jewish? Buddhist? A *different* kind of Christian? They'll rule that you're perfectly free to create your own school, based on the number of people who want their childrens' education in that religion. Note: offer only applies to specific religions, so not atheists, and not certain Native American cultures, and not certain denominations or branches of major religions, nor does it apply for schools designed for LGBTQ, or deaf/visually impaired, or anything else. Note2: offer does apply to animal husbandry.
 
2022-05-24 10:38:40 PM  
Teachers are paid a tiny fraction of what cops make, and probably less than security guards in most school districts.

Will they be required to buy their own guns, or will the school district be cutting the school lunch budget to issue them?
 
2022-05-25 12:36:00 AM  
               
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-05-25 1:20:26 AM  
Teachers, whose unions are communist and who cannot be trusted to refrain from grooming our children to lives of sexual debauchery and hatred of America and white people, should be better armed https://t.co/uxrpewWixJ


- NotTooCrazyStrictHat (@Popehat) May 24, 2022
 
2022-05-25 1:20:34 AM  
The guns in school should be armed with more guns.
 
2022-05-25 1:21:24 AM  
Fewer than one percent of all kids die from school shootings, libs. It's like a flu. And in the summer, it goes away.

Chessmate.
 
2022-05-25 1:22:28 AM  
It's beyond satire at this point.  They won't give them school supplies, but they'll give them guns.
 
2022-05-25 1:26:08 AM  
Not many people charged with felony crimes go seven years without ever standing trial. One of them is Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton.

https://www.nbcdfw.com/news/politics/texas-politics/still-no-trial-for-texas-ag-ken-paxton-7-years-after-felony-securities-fraud-charges/2974970/?amp
 
2022-05-25 1:26:51 AM  
A proposal:

Mandatory shootings!

That's right. First of the month, every month, if you own a gun, you MUST go and shoot someone. In fact if you own two guns you must shoot two people. Three guns, three people and so on. Failure to do so will result in immediate revocation of all firearms in your possession, immediate incarceration for a period not less than one year and being called an un-American degenerate.

/Am I joking? Is it sarcasm these days? Who can tell anymore.
//All I know is you people in the USA don't seem to be doing a damn thing about changing any of it.
///What fresh horror will tomorrow bring?
 
2022-05-25 1:27:16 AM  
no supplies because bootstrappy

no books because books are satanic

no school lunches because that makes the brats soulless and starvation is a totally awesome motivation for a child

but YES GUNS

GRATEST CUONTRY ON EARF
 
2022-05-25 1:27:39 AM  
external-content.duckduckgo.comView Full Size
 
2022-05-25 1:28:14 AM  

Archie Goodwin: A proposal:

Mandatory shootings!

That's right. First of the month, every month, if you own a gun, you MUST go and shoot someone. In fact if you own two guns you must shoot two people. Three guns, three people and so on. Failure to do so will result in immediate revocation of all firearms in your possession, immediate incarceration for a period not less than one year and being called an un-American degenerate.


/Am I joking? Is it sarcasm these days? Who can tell anymore.
//All I know is you people in the USA don't seem to be doing a damn thing about changing any of it.
///What fresh horror will tomorrow bring?


this is an absolutely fantastic idea
 
2022-05-25 1:31:35 AM  

raius: It's beyond satire at this point.  They won't give them school supplies, but they'll give them guns.


No they wouldn't. It's a deflection, not a serious proposal.

The point is to get you arguing about something so preposterous - like sweet old 2nd grade teacher Mrs. Beasley channeling her inner Rambo - that you forget about the issue.
 
2022-05-25 1:33:11 AM  
screenanarchy.comView Full Size
 
2022-05-25 1:33:20 AM  
Reagan showed us the way. Post armed, predominantly black activist organizations around the state government landmarks.

Surely a pac could be put together to "tool" this initiative while keeping backers anonymous. If Republicans have a problem with that funding maybe we'll take care of two problems ag once
 
2022-05-25 1:35:00 AM  
MORE GUMS!!!!!
I need a gun
 
2022-05-25 1:36:39 AM  
The more babies we abort, the less children there are to shoot down.
 
2022-05-25 1:37:55 AM  
One of the kids from the inter-denominational youth group that we ran in the late 80's & early 90's became one of the teachers at Sandy Hook.

She survived, but the PTSD is still ridiculous. I can't imagine how she is doing today.

The nursery school I worked at was a 'feeder school' for a big surrounding area, including Sandy Hook. I knew two of the kids who died.

The PTSD is still ridiculous. I can't imagine how to get through today.

Why can't these guys go into a Republican Senate or House and do the same thing? Oh, that's right, kids in school today have no chance of getting the protection that the asshats who let people kill them get.

Time to drink.
 
2022-05-25 1:44:15 AM  
The only way republicans would vote for common sense gun laws is if each of them had an immediate family member or two get killed with a gun. And it would all have to happen to them at roughly the same time so they'd all be vulnerable to reason at the same time.

Even then I'm not sure.
 
2022-05-25 1:46:55 AM  
This idea straight from the GQP juke box of broken records.
 
2022-05-25 1:48:10 AM  

Nah'mean: Seriously, why is this droopy-faced shiatstain not already in prison for fraud?


Farks top legal and political minds assure us something is going to happen...to someone...some day.
 
2022-05-25 1:56:04 AM  

Moose out front: The only way republicans would vote for common sense gun laws is if each of them had an immediate family member or two get killed with a gun. And it would all have to happen to them at roughly the same time so they'd all be vulnerable to reason at the same time.

Even then I'm not sure.


The democrats should become pro gun. Start arming minorities and supporting open carry. Praise the NRA.

They do that on a Monday, the 2nd Amendment would be gone by the week's end.

Republicans only have one goal: opposite of whatever they think the Dems want
 
2022-05-25 1:57:26 AM  
Teachers don't want guns.  Not that it matters.
 
2022-05-25 1:58:24 AM  
The important thing is that those kids can't buy beer with their gun money
 
2022-05-25 2:04:04 AM  
Teachers have to put up with
* unruly students
* Karen parents
* idiot administrators and
* asinine politicians yapping about woke this and critical race theory that and THAR GROOMIN ARE KIDS!

Do you really want to give them guns?
 
2022-05-25 2:06:45 AM  
Yeah. Seen the piss poorly paid teachers that have to deal with your crotchspawn on a daily basis... That can't possibly end poorly.
 
2022-05-25 2:13:08 AM  

Original: Original Tweet:

atrupar: Asked on Newsmax about his solution for school shootings, Texas AG Ken Paxton mentions arming teachers https://t.co/3maBKJ7uR5


The bodies probably weren't even cold.  Sad to say I called it.  But, Texas, so expected from one of their leaders.
 
2022-05-25 2:16:47 AM  
Whenever I think of 'arming teachers' I think of my 8th grade math teacher. If that guy had a gun, he would have shot kids. Dude had 2 mental breakdowns, 1 at the end of my 8th grade year and another a few years later.
 
2022-05-25 2:16:54 AM  

shpritz: The more babies we abort, the less children there are to shoot down.


Which is why, if we want to keep breeding enough targets, we need to ban contraception too.
 
2022-05-25 2:20:46 AM  

BlazeTrailer: Reagan showed us the way. Post armed, predominantly black activist organizations around the state government landmarks.

Surely a pac could be put together to "tool" this initiative while keeping backers anonymous. If Republicans have a problem with that funding maybe we'll take care of two problems ag once


These days the cops would simply bring in the tanks and kill all of them. Then the SCROTUS would rule all whites must have at least three guns at all times
 
2022-05-25 2:21:03 AM  

The Reverend Sam Hill: Teachers have to put up with
* unruly students
* Karen parents
* idiot administrators and
* asinine politicians yapping about woke this and critical race theory that and THAR GROOMIN ARE KIDS!

Do you really want to give them guns?


Yes.
 
2022-05-25 2:23:19 AM  
Zoom school.

EduSec problem solved.

Children our our MOST valuable resource.  They have the blood our elites need to survive.  And they are the future of Our Democracy.  Dont put all your most valuble blood eggs in one basket.  That is just smart.

We need a scoring system for kids.  Based on many factors.  What is their potential resource contribution in the future?  Do they have the best blood?  Etc...  The most valuble children need to be put in high security secret location boarding schools with low total populations, so they can be kept safe.  The next most valuable group needs to be zoom schooled, at least a majority of the time.  The full on maga chud kids get packed into a non air conditioned warehouse so if they get shot up it isnt hard to clean.  Nobody really cares if they live or die.  They have been born.  That is all that matters to maga.

Problem solved.
 
2022-05-25 2:25:04 AM  
so goddamn tired of this sh*t every damn time the same idiotic gabble
 
2022-05-25 2:25:29 AM  
Ahh, the first week of school. When each student brings in supplies for the classroom: a box of Kleenex, a bottle of hand sanitizer, and 50 rounds of ammunition.
 
2022-05-25 2:25:53 AM  
Giving teachers guns, assuming they would even take them, (I know a lot of teachers and exactly 0 would) would result in 1. Fire arm theft 2. A lot more small shootings. Idk if the number of small shootings that would occur could even outweigh the number of large shootings prevented. But teachers don't want guns, and aren't paid nearly enough to also be trained security officers, so really it's a moot point.
 
2022-05-25 2:28:04 AM  

hubiestubert: School shooting?

It's a tragedy that no one could see coming, so the only solution is to get more guns into schools.

Jeebus. Can y'all at least find an alternate script?


We're going to start having school shootouts if these clowns get their wish. More kids will die in the crossfire
 
2022-05-25 2:29:19 AM  

sjcpjh1: Whenever I think of 'arming teachers' I think of my 8th grade math teacher. If that guy had a gun, he would have shot kids. Dude had 2 mental breakdowns, 1 at the end of my 8th grade year and another a few years later.


This right here. Stories of teachers assaulting students is far from rare; guns turn those assaults into murders.
 
2022-05-25 2:30:56 AM  
"I don't think these people remember what school was like.  Remember that substitute teacher you would have, and all the kids decided we're gonna make her cry?

Let's give that c*nt a gun!"

-Paraphrased Jim Jefferies
 
2022-05-25 2:31:22 AM  
Guns - SNL
Youtube SwEyBItsXkw
 
2022-05-25 2:32:30 AM  
TX AG says they need more armed people. Then this wouldn't happen. The stoopid is strong with this one.
 
Displayed 50 of 110 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking




On Twitter


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.