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(TimeOut)   Chicago realtor offers free case of Malört when you close on a home. Bonus: Also runs sports satire The Heckler   (timeout.com) divider line
    More: Cool, realtor Brad Zibung, Chicago thing, least favorite local spirit, unusual closing gift, first buyer's final walkthrough, founder of Chicago Residential Partners, Malrt signs, bottles of Malrt  
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396 clicks; posted to Business » on 24 May 2022 at 7:15 PM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



17 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-05-24 6:45:39 PM  
Should leave a case of Old Style too, for a proper Chicago Handshake to close the deal
 
2022-05-24 7:22:08 PM  
I had this for the first time on a camping trip last month.  It is truly terrible. I love Jaeger, and I could not stomach this.  It smells like barbicide.
 
2022-05-24 7:37:17 PM  
I swear I'm the only person who likes it.
 
2022-05-24 7:41:28 PM  
This is like getting a free hat when you leave a casino.
 
2022-05-24 7:45:34 PM  
I have a friend who currently lives in Florida who can drink Malört without wincing, pretty much to mess with other people. He lived in Ohio for a number of years and got himself acclimated to the taste of it as a personal challenge... much in the same way one acclimates themself on Iocaine powder.
 
2022-05-24 8:03:38 PM  

austerity101: I swear I'm the only person who likes it.


I have finally figured out what is so wrong with you!
 
2022-05-24 8:03:48 PM  

austerity101: I swear I'm the only person who likes it.


Same. I drink it even when no one's looking.
 
2022-05-24 8:07:45 PM  
"I wonder how many of [the bottles] have been consumed," Zibung says.

Whether you have one bottle or a case, the answer is "a sip".

/ Gak
 
2022-05-24 8:08:07 PM  

Fourstring: austerity101: I swear I'm the only person who likes it.

Same. I drink it even when no one's looking.


I have a bottle in my fridge right now. No one ever wants any. Mais fica.
 
2022-05-24 8:11:05 PM  

austerity101: I swear I'm the only person who likes it.


I've never tried it.  I assume it would be like taking a big swig of bitters, from what I've head.
 
2022-05-24 8:24:24 PM  
Malört: for when you don't have enough regret in your life. You'll regret drinking if, swallowing it, and whatever the hell else happens 12 hours afterward.
 
2022-05-24 8:46:37 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: austerity101: I swear I'm the only person who likes it.

I've never tried it.  I assume it would be like taking a big swig of bitters, from what I've head.


More or less, but it is more about the medicinal herbal bouquet than it is bitter.  Imagine the sort of thing a witch would prepare to turn you into a newt.
 
2022-05-24 9:14:12 PM  
So, based on reputation alone, I bought a bottle and poured myself a shooter full.

I frankly don't see what the big deal is. It tastes like wood. I mean, it's not good, but I didn't have any trouble finishing the glass and it didn't affect me any when it was done. I was starting to wonder if they weakened the formula or something. And yes, my taste buds work like they always have, I don't have covid or anything. I don't know. Maybe I'm the one in 49.
 
2022-05-24 10:38:58 PM  
Jeppson's Malort Unaired Commercial
Youtube q7s16ewP1RU
 
2022-05-24 11:08:11 PM  
Nastiest stuff on earth.
Tastes and smells like turpentine stored in davy jones locker.

/Tonight's the night, you fight your dad!
 
2022-05-25 12:18:03 PM  
From TFA:

Depending on who you ask, it's either an enticement or a threat.

No, its a threat.  This is the stuff that Chicago residents use to prank out of towners.
 
2022-05-25 6:42:30 PM  
Lot of Malort threads recently, so posting the obligatory https://facesofmalort.wordpress.com/about/slogans/
 
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