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(NBC Sports)   In an effort to get just a bit of attention, the Olympic sport of modern pentathlon is replacing the horse riding part with Mt. Midoriyama   (olympics.nbcsports.com) divider line
    More: Silly, Olympic Games, new obstacle discipline of modern pentathlon, Modern pentathlon, horse riding discipline, modern pentathlon's place, sport's international governing body, Pierre de Coubertin, test event June  
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466 clicks; posted to Sports » on 24 May 2022 at 2:05 PM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



21 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-05-24 2:18:15 PM  
They should use Fun House's final level along with that cool ginger kid and the cheerleader twins.
 
2022-05-24 2:20:35 PM  
Right you are, Kenny.
 
2022-05-24 2:49:59 PM  
I was thinking isn't just the whatever the final thing in Gladiators was called?
 
2022-05-24 2:52:17 PM  
Should have replaced it with BMX, seems a better modern replacement for show jumping.
 
2022-05-24 2:54:58 PM  
As long as we're talking about "modern soldiers' skill set", maybe we should throw in a drone bombing event, and an IED obstacle race?
 
2022-05-24 2:59:08 PM  
If the idea is to master the skills of a soldier, yeah, horses should be out and something more like parkour should be in.
 
2022-05-24 3:11:42 PM  

Gubbo: I was thinking isn't just the whatever the final thing in Gladiators was called?


I was thinking of the tv show, "Wipeout!"
 
2022-05-24 3:24:04 PM  

Gubbo: I was thinking isn't just the whatever the final thing in Gladiators was called?


Appropriately enough, The Eliminator.
 
2022-05-24 3:34:50 PM  
Now replace that fencing and you can combine it all into one event rather than the multi-part thing.
 
2022-05-24 3:44:55 PM  
The Ancient Greek Pentathlon (foot race, javelin, discus, long jump and wrestling) emulated the skills of an ancient Greek warrior.  The Modern Pentathlon (fencing, swimming, show jumping, pistol shooting and cross country running) emulates the skills of a 19th century cavalry soldier.  If they want a new version, they should rename this "Napoleonic Pentathlon" or some such and make a new version based on modern military training.  Come on Farkers, what do you think the 5 events would be? Some suggestions:

Driving Obstacle Course
Shooting (with full auto weapon)
Spot-the-Insurgent
Loading/Unloading from Supply Trucks
E-Sports Drone Strike
 
2022-05-24 3:45:30 PM  

suid: As long as we're talking about "modern soldiers' skill set", maybe we should throw in a drone bombing event, and an IED obstacle race?


And just to show that I was only half kidding:   https://www.voanews.com/a/milley-west-point-cadets-should-be-ready-for-robot-drone-led-wars/6583679.html
 
2022-05-24 3:56:45 PM  
Bring back old-school pankration. There, I said it.
 
2022-05-24 4:03:03 PM  
that horse who tanked that lady who was winning was probably the best part of the last olympics
 
2022-05-24 5:26:02 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: The Ancient Greek Pentathlon (foot race, javelin, discus, long jump and wrestling) emulated the skills of an ancient Greek warrior.  The Modern Pentathlon (fencing, swimming, show jumping, pistol shooting and cross country running) emulates the skills of a 19th century cavalry soldier.  If they want a new version, they should rename this "Napoleonic Pentathlon" or some such and make a new version based on modern military training.  Come on Farkers, what do you think the 5 events would be? Some suggestions:

Driving Obstacle Course
Shooting (with full auto weapon)
Spot-the-Insurgent
Loading/Unloading from Supply Trucks
E-Sports Drone Strike


In light of recent events, a tractor pull should be mandatory.
 
2022-05-24 6:25:33 PM  

Olympic Trolling Judge: Benevolent Misanthrope: The Ancient Greek Pentathlon (foot race, javelin, discus, long jump and wrestling) emulated the skills of an ancient Greek warrior.  The Modern Pentathlon (fencing, swimming, show jumping, pistol shooting and cross country running) emulates the skills of a 19th century cavalry soldier.  If they want a new version, they should rename this "Napoleonic Pentathlon" or some such and make a new version based on modern military training.  Come on Farkers, what do you think the 5 events would be? Some suggestions:

Driving Obstacle Course
Shooting (with full auto weapon)
Spot-the-Insurgent
Loading/Unloading from Supply Trucks
E-Sports Drone Strike

In light of recent events, a tractor pull should be mandatory.


User name definitely checks out.

And you get the highly coveted "smunny".  Well done.
 
2022-05-24 6:29:14 PM  

rikdanger: Bring back old-school pankration. There, I said it.


From Brittannica:

Contests were savage, with hitting, kicking, twisting of limbs, strangling, and struggling on the ground allowed. The only recognized fouls were biting and gouging. A contest ended when one of the fighters acknowledged defeat or was rendered unconscious. In some cases, competitors died during matches.

I would PPV the hell out of that.

/The first rule of Pankration Club is...
 
2022-05-24 6:29:26 PM  
"Mt. Midoriyama" is redundant. You're basically calling it "Green Mountain Mountain".

Same reason why the famous volcano is called either "Mt. Fuji" or "Fujiyama," but never "Mt. Fujiyama."
 
2022-05-24 6:31:07 PM  
Pro: modern pentathlon has been in every modern Olympic Games, and Pierre de Coubertin competed in it.

Con: modern pentathletes suck at five events, and a large majority of them are twats.

Con: the modern pentathlon international federation has been bending over for the IOC for decades and getting farked with no lube; why would they think this proposal would make things any different?

Conclusion: the IOC sucks big hairy donkey balls.

/ farking air pistol instead of sport pistol
// farking lasers instead of air pistol
/// third rage slashie is for the ISSF getting rid of free pistol and prone rifle because of the farking IOC
//// fark the IOC
 
2022-05-24 6:55:13 PM  
The modern pentathlon is what a 19th C. cavalry officer would have needed. It's silly, but further modernizing it is just kind of worse. There already is a more modern idea of it: Military Pentathlon (which includes an obstacle race). There's also a naval pentathlon and an aeronautical pentathlon. The latter includes fencing and basketball skills drills because apparently they correlate with dog fighting skills (which a fight pilot who fenced told me was accurate) and hand eye coordination respectively; it also is misnamed because it has six events. Apparently pilots don't have to be able to count.
 
2022-05-24 7:34:40 PM  

King Something: "Mt. Midoriyama" is redundant. You're basically calling it "Green Mountain Mountain".

Same reason why the famous volcano is called either "Mt. Fuji" or "Fujiyama," but never "Mt. Fujiyama."


That's where they make ATM machines. You know, the ones where you enter your PIN number?
 
2022-05-24 9:05:25 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: rikdanger: Bring back old-school pankration. There, I said it.

From Brittannica:

Contests were savage, with hitting, kicking, twisting of limbs, strangling, and struggling on the ground allowed. The only recognized fouls were biting and gouging. A contest ended when one of the fighters acknowledged defeat or was rendered unconscious. In some cases, competitors died during matches.

I would PPV the hell out of that.

/The first rule of Pankration Club is...


They fought naked, so inserting fingers into orifices and ripping them open was perfectly legal. So a UFIA could turn into something much, much worse. Than and repeated blows to the groin at full force.

Pankration, however, was less lethal than the original Greek form of boxing where fighters wore leather gloves, not to protect their fingers, but to rip the flesh of the opponent. And it wasn't always punches. Open-handed handed slaps, knife-edge chops, and strikes were allowed. And there are two cases where the opponent died after being disemboweled by a spear hand punch. Even people who competed in both the pankration and boxing wanted officials to hold the pankration first as it was less lethal than boxing and it works give everyone a better chance of competing in both events.
 
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