Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Daily Star)   Yeah. Thanks a lot, guys (possible nsfw content on page)   (dailystar.co.uk) divider line
    More: Interesting  
•       •       •

5277 clicks; posted to Main » and Politics » on 24 May 2022 at 1:20 PM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



24 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-05-24 1:23:43 PM  
Not sure about the Brits, but I'mcertain the Ukranian standpoint is that "nobody else gets to kill him; that's OUR score to settle"

/ok Finland, we aren't gonna even try and stop you
 
2022-05-24 1:24:13 PM  
Too bad none of the attempts worked out.

Oh well, try, try again.
 
2022-05-24 1:25:55 PM  
Frankly, before 2014, everybody considered Putin to be just another head of state.  He wasn't persona non grata then, or when most of these occurred.
 
2022-05-24 1:26:56 PM  
The old saying , If at first you don't succeed , try , try again ..
 
2022-05-24 1:31:21 PM  
"Body doubles" ....

The old joke is that Saddam Hussein had about 20 body doubles. One day, someone came to them and said, "I have good news and bad news for you guys."

"What's the good news?"

"The Leader has survived another assassination attempt."

"What's the bad news?"

"He lost an arm."
 
2022-05-24 1:41:02 PM  

WastrelWay: "Body doubles" ....

The old joke is that Saddam Hussein had about 20 body doubles. One day, someone came to them and said, "I have good news and bad news for you guys."

"What's the good news?"

"The Leader has survived another assassination attempt."

"What's the bad news?"

"He lost an arm."


Fark user imageView Full Size

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-05-24 1:41:27 PM  
They say it takes about 7 tries to break a bad habit
 
2022-05-24 1:42:54 PM  
They test his pool water for poison, but do they test it for polonium?

A few tiny drones could drop polonium in a pool fairly easily
 
2022-05-24 1:46:27 PM  
Read the article, and some of these are a stretch:

A month later, a man named Ivan Zaitsev arrived at the Kremlin, claiming to be the President of Russia and announced that he was there "to cut Putin's head off" to prevent Russia falling under control of the Nazis. He was detained and incarcerated in a mental institution.

If that qualifies as an assassination attempt, then the D.C. police are stopping attempts like this on Biden three or four times a week.
 
2022-05-24 1:47:51 PM  

mikaloyd: They test his pool water for poison, but do they test it for polonium?

A few tiny drones could drop polonium in a pool fairly easily


Think of the headline possibilities!

"Putin possibly poisoned in polonium pool party"
 
2022-05-24 1:48:07 PM  
"Quick, Agent Kensington! We've got to get this report about a potential plot to assassinate russian president vladimir putin!"

<silence>

So, there's a pub down the street...Curry okay?"
 
2022-05-24 1:49:33 PM  

mikaloyd: They test his pool water for poison, but do they test it for polonium?

A few tiny drones could drop polonium in a pool fairly easily


How about flame throwers? As real as a doughnut, motherfarker.

static1.srcdn.comView Full Size
 
2022-05-24 1:53:03 PM  

blondambition: mikaloyd: They test his pool water for poison, but do they test it for polonium?

A few tiny drones could drop polonium in a pool fairly easily

How about flame throwers? As real as a doughnut, motherfarker.

[static1.srcdn.com image 740x370]


Now we just need to camoflage  the flamethrower guy and station him next to Putins  Hot tub nee pool
 
2022-05-24 1:56:51 PM  
Russian leader President Vladimir Putin has survived no fewer than five assassination attempts over the past few years, and is now escorted everywhere he goes by a team of crack snipers ready to take out any assailants.

Just takes one of those snipers to realize how deranged he is, turn on him and change the course of history. I'm not holding my breath, though.
 
2022-05-24 2:11:34 PM  
They traveled back in time for nothing!!!
 
2022-05-24 2:35:27 PM  
"A month later, a man named Ivan Zaitsev arrived at the Kremlin, claiming to be the President of Russia and announced that he was there "to cut Putin's head off" to prevent Russia falling under control of the Nazis. He was detained and incarcerated in a mental institution."

Now that we know the guy was actually right shouldn't he be released and made king?
 
2022-05-24 3:09:17 PM  

CarnySaur: They traveled back in time for nothing!!!


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-05-24 3:16:41 PM  
Sounds like somebody wanted for Russia to invade and start a war.
 
2022-05-24 3:29:40 PM  
So, during a time of peace, which is when these happened, one country prevents the assassination of a leader of a different country?
 
2022-05-24 3:36:29 PM  

NotARocketScientist: So, during a time of peace, which is when these happened, one country prevents the assassination of a leader of a different country?


From Rounders:
Sharks don't eat each other.
/

(Occasionally, yes, but, work with me darn it)
 
2022-05-24 4:01:25 PM  

mikaloyd: blondambition: mikaloyd: They test his pool water for poison, but do they test it for polonium?

A few tiny drones could drop polonium in a pool fairly easily

How about flame throwers? As real as a doughnut, motherfarker.

[static1.srcdn.com image 740x370]

Now we just need to camoflage  the flamethrower guy and station him next to Putins  Hot tub nee pool


Camouflage? How else are you going to heat the pool?
 
2022-05-24 4:06:04 PM  

Rindred: mikaloyd: blondambition: mikaloyd: They test his pool water for poison, but do they test it for polonium?

A few tiny drones could drop polonium in a pool fairly easily

How about flame throwers? As real as a doughnut, motherfarker.

[static1.srcdn.com image 740x370]

Now we just need to camoflage  the flamethrower guy and station him next to Putins  Hot tub nee pool

Camouflage? How else are you going to heat the pool?


Plutonium decay
 
2022-05-24 5:59:32 PM  
There is a twisted logic to this.  Hear me out.

I read a book a long time ago, don't remember the title, and it was fiction - but it had a good point.  It was a WW2 story where an American spy/commando team was sent to neutralize a British spy/commando team, without killing them, because the British team was trying to assassinate Hitler.

Why were they trying to stop their own allies from killing him?  Because US intelligence had calculated - and rightly so - that when it came to making strategic military decisions Hitler was a complete moron and thus technically an asset to the Allied war effort.  If he died then someone competent would take command and then things would suddenly get ugly for the Allies as a whole.  So it was actually in the best interest of the Allied war effort to make sure that Hitler stayed alive (and making stupid decisions) until the day they rolled into Berlin.  To that effect, yes, they needed to stop anyone - even their own friends - from assassinating him.

I'm guessing that it's the same situation with Putin right now.  The reality is that his rule has stripped Russia of its former superpower status.  He's crippled their economy by handing everything to the oligarchs, he's crippled their military by cutting their funding (and giving it to the oligarchs) and now he's busy throwing whatever is left of that military into a meatgrinder/quagmire over in Ukraine.  If you want to see Russia continue to suffer and decline then you want Putin to stay at the helm, lest someone smarter come into power and turn them back a real threat to the world again.

"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake." - Napoleon
 
2022-05-24 6:01:06 PM  
Honestly, assassinating a sovereign leader is generally frowned upon by the 3-letter guys, and their equivalents. Mainly because each of those services, were they so inclined, could succeed in doing so. Not every spy or intelligence service is equal, though. Iran, for example, might have some difficulty. Afghanistan certainly, Iraq as well. It's about resources, theirs and the targets, and essentially who can get the job done. And who wants it bad enough.
Putin needs to be removed, certainly. My preference would be feet first, but unless the Rules are broken by the Powers That Be, that won't happen. No individual or even cell of actors, without a State sponsor, could reasonably hope to succeed.

/that being said, the glory of any SO operators for pulling this off would be legendary
//retired, very
 
Displayed 24 of 24 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking




On Twitter


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.