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(Inside EVs)   Error, Error, You are now about to die. Please read the instructions for emergency escape   (insideevs.com) divider line
    More: Scary, English-language films, Tesla owner, American films, Jamil Jutha, power failure, Tesla Model Y owner, electric car fires, plane crashes  
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5010 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 May 2022 at 6:29 PM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



144 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2022-05-23 6:11:51 PM  
While Tesla fires don't happen often, they still happen. Some people suggest that the media shouldn't put so much attention on electric car fires since gas cars burn every day.

Ah I see Tesla's PR firm is the same as Boeing's.
 
2022-05-23 6:18:17 PM  
Oh yeah, that Tesla fire. Not this one

https://twitter.com/julianbc6/status/1528739826891165696?s=21

Or

https://twitter.com/valleynewslive/status/1528858312594235392?s=21

It's hard to keep them all straight these days.
 
2022-05-23 6:25:10 PM  
Not only do they catch fire, they also lock you in so you can't escape.  Awesome.  Makes me want to go out and get one.
 
2022-05-23 6:32:53 PM  
Steven King has been overshadowed. Christine's got nothing on a Musk Tesla.
 
2022-05-23 6:33:18 PM  
😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣🤣
 
2022-05-23 6:33:43 PM  
Anyone else read that in this voice?
external-content.duckduckgo.comView Full Size
 
2022-05-23 6:35:22 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: Not only do they catch fire, they also lock you in so you can't escape.  Awesome.  Makes me want to go out and get one.


I would expect this kind of engineering from Krupp, but not Tesla.
 
2022-05-23 6:38:46 PM  
It's not their fault you didn't subscribe to the emergency escape plan. It was only 19.99 more per month, and then the software would have automatically read you the instructions on how to live.
 
2022-05-23 6:39:18 PM  
YOU CAN'T DO THIS!  WE MADE YOU!

nsfw; a little graphic

Maximum Overdrive Montage: "But, We Made You!"
Youtube sRuVTDJpVxA
 
2022-05-23 6:39:20 PM  
"Some people suggest that the media shouldn't put so much attention on electric car fires since gas cars burn every day."

Sure, but the gas powered cars don't lock you inside when they burn in some sort of twisted mutual suicide pact with your vehicle...
 
2022-05-23 6:39:47 PM  
UPDATING ---34%---  Please Wait
 
2022-05-23 6:40:24 PM  
Tesla's "innovation" regarding their door latch system is a solution looking for a problem at best, and downright dangerous at worst.

I mean, I still like their product, but what the fark.
 
2022-05-23 6:41:42 PM  
If you haven't updated your DoorHandler software to version 2.48 it's your fault. Get with the times, grandpa!
 
2022-05-23 6:43:10 PM  

AstroJesus: It's not their fault you didn't subscribe to the emergency escape plan. It was only 19.99 more per month, and then the software would have automatically read you the instructions on how to live.


All cars in 10 years
 
2022-05-23 6:43:51 PM  
"HAL9000 is currently unavailable.  Please remain on the line and the next available associate will help you..."
 
2022-05-23 6:43:58 PM  

Billy Liar: YOU CAN'T DO THIS!  WE MADE YOU!

nsfw; a little graphic

[YouTube video: Maximum Overdrive Montage: "But, We Made You!"]


This needs to be remade.  It was ahead of it's time. Same with The Net.
 
2022-05-23 6:47:31 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-05-23 6:47:35 PM  

waxbeans: AstroJesus: It's not their fault you didn't subscribe to the emergency escape plan. It was only 19.99 more per month, and then the software would have automatically read you the instructions on how to live.

All cars in 10 years


The big 3 US automakers have been doing just fine with avoiding this sort of stupid design flaw.

It's only Teslas that were designed as tech first & as a car... Second? Third?
 
2022-05-23 6:48:27 PM  
"Tesla's vehicles do have an emergency release that will open the doors if the power has failed."

So the regular door handle doesnt work unless theres power?!?

Your car is bad and you should feel bad!
 
2022-05-23 6:48:40 PM  
Just wait for the "Autopilot has detected you going in excess of twice the legal speed limit. Driver controls disabled, rerouting now to Highway Patrol office" feature you just know Big Government is going to mandate
 
2022-05-23 6:50:27 PM  
the cake is a lie
 
jvl [BareFark]
2022-05-23 6:50:27 PM  

koder: Ah I see Tesla's PR firm is the same as Boeing's.


Tesla literally fired their entire PR team because Musk is a crybaby who thinks every press article about a Tesla defect is some kind of personal attack.
 
2022-05-23 6:52:27 PM  

waxbeans: AstroJesus: It's not their fault you didn't subscribe to the emergency escape plan. It was only 19.99 more per month, and then the software would have automatically read you the instructions on how to live.

All cars in 10 years


I'll pay whatever it takes to avoid menial labor like pulling handles, turning keys, and pressing buttons.  That stuff is, like, so inconvenient when I'm live-streaming!
 
2022-05-23 6:53:55 PM  
Probably a faulty charging port.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-05-23 6:55:10 PM  

barc0001: "Some people suggest that the media shouldn't put so much attention on electric car fires since gas cars burn every day."

Sure, but the gas powered cars don't lock you inside when they burn in some sort of twisted mutual suicide pact with your vehicle...


Good. I'm sure the 350something people who die in gas car fires every year can Rest In Peace know that at least it wasn't a Tesla that killed them 👼
 
2022-05-23 6:59:06 PM  

jvl: koder: Ah I see Tesla's PR firm is the same as Boeing's.

Tesla literally fired their entire PR team because Musk is a crybaby who thinks every press article about a Tesla defect is some kind of personal attack.


Musk became an asshole in my book when he tried suing Top Gear over their Tesla review. He lost of course, and has worked tirelessly to become an increasingly bigger asshole ever since. It makes sense he joined the GQP, he was the public figure that started calling people he didn't like "pedo" on twitter well before the GQP did, he's truly one of theirs
 
2022-05-23 6:59:35 PM  
"...it alerted him of an error, powered down, started smoking..."
Coulda used one of these.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-05-23 7:01:03 PM  
TIL that on a Tesla, you have to request to be let out of the car, and the car can say no.

At least on my car the door handle mechanically unlocks it from inside.
Though I do have to request my back hatch open, and with no power, the only way is some emergency release on the inside. And if my battery dies, there is no emergency release for the electric parking brake.
 
jvl [BareFark]
2022-05-23 7:01:50 PM  

Likwit: barc0001: gas powered cars don't lock you inside when they burn in some sort of twisted mutual suicide pact with your vehicle...

Good. I'm sure the 350something people who die in gas car fires every year can Rest In Peace know that at least it wasn't a Tesla that killed them 👼


Which part of "lock you inside" did you not understand? We all understand that failures happen; but the normal people here understand that routine failures should not render your exit route inoperable. That's why nearly every car on the market has doors which can be mechanically operated.

// Weird Nerds.
 
2022-05-23 7:02:39 PM  
I decided to look and see where the manual release was. Not as bad as I was expecting:
Fark user imageView Full Size

However, the next line is "Only front doors are equipped with a manual release" which seems like it could be a problem.
https://www.tesla.com/ownersmanual/model3/en_jo/GUID-7A32EC01-A17E-42CC-A15B-2E0A39FD07AB.html
 
2022-05-23 7:03:44 PM  
 
2022-05-23 7:05:16 PM  

jvl: Likwit: barc0001: gas powered cars don't lock you inside when they burn in some sort of twisted mutual suicide pact with your vehicle...

Good. I'm sure the 350something people who die in gas car fires every year can Rest In Peace know that at least it wasn't a Tesla that killed them 👼

Which part of "lock you inside" did you not understand? We all understand that failures happen; but the normal people here understand that routine failures should not render your exit route inoperable. That's why nearly every car on the market has doors which can be mechanically operated.

// Weird Nerds.


There's a mechanical release.
 
2022-05-23 7:07:02 PM  
It has begun.

i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2022-05-23 7:07:19 PM  
Instead of lithium batteries they should use dilithium batteries.
They won't catch fire.
They'll explode spectacularly.
 
2022-05-23 7:08:20 PM  

The Exit Stencilist: Just wait for the "Autopilot has detected you going in excess of twice the legal speed limit. Driver controls disabled, rerouting now to Highway Patrol office" feature you just know Big Government is going to mandate


If you're going twice the speed limit on a highway then you are part of the problem.

People like you are the reason why I've been rear ended twice when traffic stopped on the highway...
 
2022-05-23 7:09:03 PM  

AstroJesus: It's not their fault you didn't subscribe to the emergency escape plan. It was only 19.99 more per month, and then the software would have automatically read you the instructions on how to live.


For another $10,000, you can get both driver and passenger ejection seats. There's only a 20% chance of them going off when when you start the car, so treat yourself!
 
2022-05-23 7:09:14 PM  
Our home health nurse (for my mom) has a Tesla. She said she bought it used.

I'm tempted to show her this article next time she visits.
 
2022-05-23 7:09:19 PM  
Anyone know why they have an electric mechanism for opening the doors rather than the mechanical release used by every other car? Is there any reason whasoever for it other than to reduce safety?
 
2022-05-23 7:10:12 PM  
I think my problem with Teslas is that it's not sold as a car that happens to have an electric motor. It's a paradigm shifting lifestyle experience or some shiat. The Hyundai ionic doesn't get nearly as much press either way because Hyundai doesn't act like they're God's gift to the driving public.
 
2022-05-23 7:10:57 PM  
The doors wouldn't open. The windows wouldn't go down. I kicked through the window, climbed out, and called 911 right away."

Impressed they could kick through the window.  I had to break a car window in an emergency once, from the outside in, and we failed to bust the window with any number of heavy metal objects.  After that I went out and got one of the dedicated emergency glassbreaker tools.  As an event like the article shows, it's not a bad idea to keep one of those within reach in your car (and fixed down so it doesnt go flying in a crash)
 
2022-05-23 7:11:38 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-05-23 7:12:12 PM  

Russ1642: Anyone know why they have an electric mechanism for opening the doors rather than the mechanical release used by every other car? Is there any reason whasoever for it other than to reduce safety?


Frameless windows. Every car with frameless windows has to have a mechanism that rolls the window down a little bit when opening the door so the glass doesn't crack on the trim. Some cars have a button with a separate mechanical release like Tesla Model 3 and Y, and some cars have a two stage handle that lowers the window before opening the door.
 
2022-05-23 7:12:31 PM  

ArkPanda: I decided to look and see where the manual release was. Not as bad as I was expecting:
[Fark user image image 380x380]
However, the next line is "Only front doors are equipped with a manual release" which seems like it could be a problem.
https://www.tesla.com/ownersmanual/model3/en_jo/GUID-7A32EC01-A17E-42CC-A15B-2E0A39FD07AB.html


Notice how the handle doesn't even say Emergency Release on it.
 
2022-05-23 7:15:47 PM  

The Exit Stencilist: Just wait for the "Autopilot has detected you going in excess of twice the legal speed limit. Driver controls disabled, rerouting now to Highway Patrol office" feature you just know Big Government is going to mandate


That sounds great, actually. You'd be traveling well in excess of 100mph at that point and are a serious danger to other people on the road.
 
2022-05-23 7:17:14 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-05-23 7:18:10 PM  
professionalmorondotcom.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
 
2022-05-23 7:19:24 PM  
The situation was so tense that the author's headline used more than one tense.
 
2022-05-23 7:21:25 PM  
Many thanks to the article author for letting us all know who is entirely to blame here. The media.
 
2022-05-23 7:23:58 PM  

New Rising Sun: The doors wouldn't open. The windows wouldn't go down. I kicked through the window, climbed out, and called 911 right away."

Impressed they could kick through the window.  I had to break a car window in an emergency once, from the outside in, and we failed to bust the window with any number of heavy metal objects.  After that I went out and got one of the dedicated emergency glassbreaker tools.  As an event like the article shows, it's not a bad idea to keep one of those within reach in your car (and fixed down so it doesnt go flying in a crash)


Mine says Bobby Buntrock on it. He was 'Sport' on 'Hazel'. Died from lack of one.
 
2022-05-23 7:23:59 PM  
What the actual fark was Tesla thinking?  Power failure should mean doors unlock, not lock.  And if that's a security problem (and it is)  then don't make the doors power dependant.
 
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