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(YouTube)   Video that proves glorious Russia does not need Ukraine's help in order to destroy their capital ships   (youtube.com) divider line
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5535 clicks; posted to Main » and Politics » on 23 May 2022 at 2:35 PM (11 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-05-23 2:28:50 PM  
What a farking joke Russia is.
 
2022-05-23 2:45:18 PM  
that hard segue to that Masterworks segment blew my mind.
 
2022-05-23 2:46:11 PM  
I feel like the global intelligence agencies really need to be looked at in detail.
It sure seems like all they did is read Putin's press releases and regurgitate then on letterhead.
 
2022-05-23 2:46:42 PM  

gopher321: What a farking joke Russia is.


to say nothing of the video.

"here is a really awkward transitions to nothing that makes any sense so i can get in my ads."
 
2022-05-23 2:49:41 PM  
You can safely rename a ship--you have to make proper sacrifices to Poseidon, etc. Alternatively, you can just not be superstitious and just change the registry. Your choice. Truth is, ocean-going travel is extremely dangerous--more so if you're a war-ship. Whether or not you renamed your ship, you're still pretty likely to face catastrophe, eventually.
 
2022-05-23 2:49:57 PM  
Cyka blyat heard echoing around the Kremlin.
 
2022-05-23 2:50:09 PM  
That pilot who couldn't land the plane:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-05-23 2:51:18 PM  

cleek: that hard segue to that Masterworks segment blew my mind.


If these trends continue...
 
2022-05-23 2:53:09 PM  

SpectroBoy: I feel like the global intelligence agencies really need to be looked at in detail.
It sure seems like all they did is read Putin's press releases and regurgitate then on letterhead.


Weak enemies don't encourage bottomless budgets.
 
2022-05-23 2:53:37 PM  

cleek: that hard segue to that Masterworks segment blew my mind.


"And the Soviet Union learned they did not have the funds to support their one capital ship.  With the Capital One Venture Card's cash-back program and no annual fees, you'll have more funds to support your fleet of ships."
 
2022-05-23 2:54:10 PM  

cranked: SpectroBoy: I feel like the global intelligence agencies really need to be looked at in detail.
It sure seems like all they did is read Putin's press releases and regurgitate then on letterhead.

Weak enemies don't encourage bottomless budgets.


Also, there's less fallout if you overestimate them rather than underestimate.
 
2022-05-23 2:54:36 PM  

RobotSpider: You can safely rename a ship--you have to make proper sacrifices to Poseidon, etc. Alternatively, you can just not be superstitious and just change the registry. Your choice. Truth is, ocean-going travel is extremely dangerous--more so if you're a war-ship. Whether or not you renamed your ship, you're still pretty likely to face catastrophe, eventually.


It's Theseus all the way down to Davey Jones' Locker
 
2022-05-23 2:55:19 PM  

Dwedit: That pilot who couldn't land the plane:

[Fark user image 256x224]


fark you, I just got over that PTSD.
 
2022-05-23 2:56:40 PM  

cranked: SpectroBoy: I feel like the global intelligence agencies really need to be looked at in detail.
It sure seems like all they did is read Putin's press releases and regurgitate then on letterhead.

Weak enemies don't encourage bottomless budgets.


Nurglitch: cranked: SpectroBoy: I feel like the global intelligence agencies really need to be looked at in detail.
It sure seems like all they did is read Putin's press releases and regurgitate then on letterhead.

Weak enemies don't encourage bottomless budgets.

Also, there's less fallout if you overestimate them rather than underestimate.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-05-23 3:01:04 PM  

foo monkey: cleek: that hard segue to that Masterworks segment blew my mind.

"And the Soviet Union learned they did not have the funds to support their one capital ship.  With the Capital One Venture Card's cash-back program and no annual fees, you'll have more funds to support your fleet of ships."


"Vhat's in your Navy's vallet?"
 
2022-05-23 3:01:27 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-05-23 3:01:59 PM  

Dwedit: That pilot who couldn't land the plane:

[Fark user image 256x224]


I rented that game for a week and never got past that farking aircraft carrier.  Not once.
 
2022-05-23 3:03:07 PM  

gopher321: What a farking joke Russia is.


What have we been spending on our military so much for I wonder?
 
2022-05-23 3:05:04 PM  
So when the balloon finally goes up, how many minutes will this wallowing tub last before it hits the seabed?
 
2022-05-23 3:10:53 PM  

cleek: that hard segue to that Masterworks segment blew my mind.


Jarring. But worth it.

Lots of great footage. I had never seen much Russian navy video before, this was super-interesting.
 
2022-05-23 3:12:52 PM  

Bondith: So when the balloon finally goes up, how many minutes will this wallowing tub last before it hits the seabed?


Probably not even targeted - you want to attack threats.
 
2022-05-23 3:16:04 PM  

Dwedit: That pilot who couldn't land the plane:

[Fark user image 256x224]


well if you are landing with 20 missiles still in the racks then you deserve to crash.
 
2022-05-23 3:17:06 PM  

cranked: SpectroBoy: I feel like the global intelligence agencies really need to be looked at in detail.
It sure seems like all they did is read Putin's press releases and regurgitate then on letterhead.

Weak enemies don't encourage bottomless budgets.


And one thing the KGB/FSB was/is very, very good at is tagging anyone who tries to spy in russia and "dealing with them"
 
2022-05-23 3:17:09 PM  

SpectroBoy: I feel like the global intelligence agencies really need to be looked at in detail.
It sure seems like all they did is read Putin's press releases and regurgitate then on letterhead.


Or just possibly they don't keep you personally apprised of their secret assessments
 
2022-05-23 3:17:24 PM  
Starting to get the idea we could just gather a bunch of yokels from the South, tell them to grab their guns cuz they going after some of dem Mexicans, and drop them off in Siberia. They would probably take them over in a week, and we would be free of them. Problem solved.
 
2022-05-23 3:25:46 PM  
I don't think that people appreciate when I do this, but I'm going to rain on your America Fark Yeah parade real quick.

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/verabergengruen/confusion-poor-training-caused-ship-collisions-that-killed
 
2022-05-23 3:29:23 PM  

SpectroBoy: I feel like the global intelligence agencies really need to be looked at in detail.
It sure seems like all they did is read Putin's press releases and regurgitate then on letterhead.


In terms of numbers, their military looked formidable. But the qualitative analysis was waaaaaaaay off.
 
2022-05-23 3:31:00 PM  
How has that lemon not sunk yet? But hey if you want to cripple the ship when it is deployed you just sink the tugboat it brings along with it.
 
2022-05-23 3:31:27 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
Blyat boat
Blyat, exciting and new
Come aboard, we're conscripting you.
Gavno, the heads are overflowing upon the floor.
Let it flow, it floats back to you.
The Blyat boat soon will be rolling coal black and thick
The Blyat boat promises something for every gopnitsa and gopnik
Set a course for pizdec,
Your mind on a new Moskvitch.
Squatting won't hurt anymore
It's a drowned orc on an unfriendly shore.The Blyat boat soon will be rolling coal black and thick
The Blyat boat promises something for every gopnitsa and gopnik
Set a course for pizdec,
Your mind on a new Moskvitch.
Squatting won't hurt anymore
It's a drowned orc on an unfriendly shore.
It's Blyat! it's blyat! it's blyat!
It's the Blyat boat-ah! it's the Bylat boat-ah!
 
2022-05-23 3:37:10 PM  

groppet: How has that lemon not sunk yet? But hey if you want to cripple the ship when it is deployed you just sink the tugboat it brings along with it.


I have to say, that was an impressive tugboat.
 
2022-05-23 3:43:34 PM  

Rapmaster2000: Dwedit: That pilot who couldn't land the plane:

[Fark user image 256x224]

I rented that game for a week and never got past that farking aircraft carrier.  Not once.


I own that game and think I successfully landed maybe 3 times...
 
2022-05-23 3:52:31 PM  

Dwedit: That pilot who couldn't land the plane:

[Fark user image 256x224]


I crashed at that point hundreds of times playing that game.  I never could figure it out.
 
2022-05-23 3:55:54 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-05-23 4:07:25 PM  
Russia: socially awkward adolescent with no appreciable talents or skills, tolerated but mostly ignored by their peers, unable to find a date to the dance, angry that nothing goes their way, with access to high-powered weapons & a manifesto about how great they are & everyone's gonna pay.

So Ukraine is basically a high school mass shooter event.
 
2022-05-23 4:12:05 PM  

MadCat: Rapmaster2000: Dwedit: That pilot who couldn't land the plane:

[Fark user image 256x224]

I rented that game for a week and never got past that farking aircraft carrier.  Not once.

I own that game and think I successfully landed maybe 3 times...


This!
 
2022-05-23 4:16:57 PM  
No BlueJay video yet?
The Dumbest Russian Voyage Nobody Talks About
Youtube yzGqp3R4Mx4
 
2022-05-23 4:21:00 PM  

Jz4p: Dwedit: That pilot who couldn't land the plane:

[Fark user image 256x224]

I crashed at that point hundreds of times playing that game.  I never could figure it out.


IIRC aim for the font lip and keep the airspeed around 180.   once you get it, it's easy.
 
2022-05-23 4:22:26 PM  

Gubbo: I don't think that people appreciate when I do this, but I'm going to rain on your America Fark Yeah parade real quick.

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/verabergengruen/confusion-poor-training-caused-ship-collisions-that-killed


Can't collide ships if they don't leave drydock.

Unless the drydock catches fire, collapses and sinks on your boat.

Not that something like that would ever happen to glorious Soviet Navy...
 
2022-05-23 4:28:38 PM  

Dinodork: Can't collide ships if they don't leave drydock.


US 7th Fleet furiously taking notes
 
2022-05-23 4:30:01 PM  

MadCat: Rapmaster2000: Dwedit: That pilot who couldn't land the plane:

[Fark user image 256x224]

I rented that game for a week and never got past that farking aircraft carrier.  Not once.

I own that game and think I successfully landed maybe 3 times...


If you want a real challenge, try 'Chuck Yeager Avoidance Therapy Advanced Flight Simulator' sometime and try landing the SR-71 Blackbird.  That thing wouldn't settle down onto the ground if you dropped a farking 100 ton weight on it!

Chuck Yeager is one of my all-time heroes, but I got *real* tired of that smirking face telling me "Really screwed the pooch on that one, huh?"

By contrast, I *never* had any trouble putting the F/A-18 Hornet down on the carrier in SubLogic Jet.
 
2022-05-23 4:36:05 PM  

SpectroBoy: I feel like the global intelligence agencies really need to be looked at in detail.
It sure seems like all they did is read Putin's press releases and regurgitate then on letterhead.


Intelligence agencies don't reveal what they trulyknow, because that could expose sources.

Go ahead and state publicly that there were 60 planes onboard. Doesn't change the fact that only 6 were there, and everyone who mattered likely knew that. A source at the naval base (or on the ship) would have counted how many planes were brought onboard, and passed that info to the agencies. We likely also had sources at the factory building the planes, so knew well in advance how many were available.

Much of the crew was Ukrainian, so it wouldn't be a shock if some stayed with the ship to serve as spies.
 
2022-05-23 4:36:29 PM  
Just a couple weeks ago on some cable channel they had one of those Top 10 Badass whatever shows that had this ship on it. I assume it was made before the last time the ship go towed home. I got a chuckle.
 
2022-05-23 4:39:26 PM  

Sporkabob: No BlueJay video yet?
[Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/yzGqp3R4Mx4]


And the time they lost almost their entire Pacific command thanks to greed.

When the Soviet Navy Lost 16 Admirals in a Single Accident: The Tu-104 Crash at Pushkin
Youtube ZU1f47SC_A8


/I suspect over the next couple of years we'll start hearing behind the scenes stories about Russia's invasion of Ukraine. Looking forward to it.
 
2022-05-23 4:39:43 PM  

Sporkabob: No BlueJay video yet?
[iFrame https://www.youtube.com/embed/yzGqp3R4Mx4?autoplay=1&widget_referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.fark.com&start=0&enablejsapi=1&origin=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.fark.com&widgetid=1]


CSB
I used to have a tabletop gaming group and someone wanted to run a WWI naval campaign. due to a player dropping out i had to take over the entire Seekrieg though i knew nothing of of naval tactics or the equipment of the day.  i studied the game charts, got permission to reorganize the fleets and sent out my first round of orders, most of which were pretty unorthodox.   Long story short the Russian Navy became reefs so quickly their commander became my XO so he'd have something to do and because the British commander was such a pompous ass (and i knew that going in) i made sure he suffered some early defeats that put him on total tilt.  At one point i had him running around so much that i sneaked a cruiser squadron over to Scappa Flow.  They got spotted but the subs that were trailing them didn't. as the brits chased the cruisers the subs got in range of the docks and let a couple token torps go and bounced.  no real damage but the GM determined that public outcry demanded that they keep at least a taskforce w/in 6 hours of the Flow at all times.  Within a couple months of game time i had the Baltic and North Atlantic in such a clusterfark that everyone kinda lost interest and i declared myself the winner.
CSB off

TLDR - creating chaos is easy and tends to make everyone give up.
 
2022-05-23 4:40:36 PM  

Nicholas D. Wolfwood: MadCat: Rapmaster2000: Dwedit: That pilot who couldn't land the plane:

If you want a real challenge, try 'Chuck Yeager Avoidance Therapy Advanced Flight Simulator' sometime and try landing the SR-71 Blackbird.  That thing wouldn't settle down onto the ground if you dropped a farking 100 ton weight on it!


I always like trying the canyon run in the X-29. Also, flying the X-15 was a blast. That game made me fall in love with simulators.
Fark user imageView Full Size


/Damn, that was a long time ago
 
2022-05-23 4:40:37 PM  

I hereby demand that I be given a Fark account: Bondith: So when the balloon finally goes up, how many minutes will this wallowing tub last before it hits the seabed?

Probably not even targeted - you want to attack threats.


Popping it in the drydock and you deny Russia one drydock.

Every part of the service - be it army or navy - will be attacked if the opportunity presents itself. Russia would certainly target a civilian cargo ship entering Chesapeake, just to block the channel.
 
2022-05-23 4:41:46 PM  
Russia has weather and other natural advantages when playing a DEFENSIVE game.  But when they go on offense, their general ineptitude comes into play.
 
2022-05-23 4:43:47 PM  

lifeslammer: cranked: SpectroBoy: I feel like the global intelligence agencies really need to be looked at in detail.
It sure seems like all they did is read Putin's press releases and regurgitate then on letterhead.

Weak enemies don't encourage bottomless budgets.

And one thing the KGB/FSB was/is very, very good at is tagging anyone who tries to spy in russia and "dealing with them"


$5k could flip the average GRU officer. They aren't master spies. The guys who brought the polonium into England to poison Litvenenko left a radioactive trail everywhere they went. Even commercial aircraft seats had polonium on them.
 
2022-05-23 4:52:08 PM  

ssa5: Starting to get the idea we could just gather a bunch of yokels from the South, tell them to grab their guns cuz they going after some of dem Mexicans, and drop them off in Siberia. They would probably take them over in a week, and we would be free of them. Problem solved.


Except that the people who actually live in Siberia tend to be bad ass mofos.

Green mountain boys would be better suited than rednecks.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2KAEbfCGzsQ
 
2022-05-23 4:52:35 PM  
i.guim.co.ukView Full Size


That'll buff right out.
 
2022-05-23 4:55:43 PM  

IDisposable: Russia has weather and other natural advantages when playing a DEFENSIVE game.  But when they go on offense, their general ineptitude comes into play.


They also are master of the choo choo when defending their home turf.  But when they have to load their equipment on to trucks as opposed to trains (as in Ukraine), things break down quickly.
 
2022-05-23 5:01:02 PM  

Nicholas D. Wolfwood: MadCat: Rapmaster2000: Dwedit: That pilot who couldn't land the plane:

[Fark user image 256x224]

I rented that game for a week and never got past that farking aircraft carrier.  Not once.

I own that game and think I successfully landed maybe 3 times...

If you want a real challenge, try 'Chuck Yeager Avoidance Therapy Advanced Flight Simulator' sometime and try landing the SR-71 Blackbird.  That thing wouldn't settle down onto the ground if you dropped a farking 100 ton weight on it!

Chuck Yeager is one of my all-time heroes, but I got *real* tired of that smirking face telling me "Really screwed the pooch on that one, huh?"

By contrast, I *never* had any trouble putting the F/A-18 Hornet down on the carrier in SubLogic Jet.


WOW that's a game I've not thought about in a long time.  Running that on my Tandy 1000HX was a struggle.  There was one experimental plane in that game that you could barely fly straight and level as I recall.  I do remember flying the SR71 up enough the sky turned black and I thought that was the coolest thing ever.
 
2022-05-23 5:20:08 PM  

Rapmaster2000: Dwedit: That pilot who couldn't land the plane:

[Fark user image 256x224]

I rented that game for a week and never got past that farking aircraft carrier.  Not once.


I owned the game. I made the landing twice.
I didn't make the landing much more than that.
There was also this mother farker
cdn.wikimg.netView Full Size
 
2022-05-23 5:23:34 PM  
The Russian 2nd Pacific Squadron - Voyage of the Damned
Youtube 9Mdi_Fh9_Ag
 
2022-05-23 5:24:18 PM  

gopher321: What a farking joke Russia is.


In most ways for a a very long time.

They are good at cruelty and suppression. And lobbing shells aimlessly.
 
2022-05-23 5:33:40 PM  
I love stories like this about Russia
/it's the romantic in me
 
2022-05-23 6:40:10 PM  
This is almost like playing a major RPG and you grind the hell out of thinking it's going to start to get farming hard eventually.  Then you overdo it and reach the point where you find out you can crush the main boss without breaking a sweat.  That's where the world is with Russia right now.
 
2022-05-23 6:42:10 PM  
I often wonder, how "well" is the Russian nuclear arsenal maintained?
 
2022-05-23 7:15:31 PM  

Dwedit: That pilot who couldn't land the plane:

[Fark user image image 256x224]


I landed that once.

Once.
 
2022-05-23 7:30:07 PM  

foo monkey: cleek: that hard segue to that Masterworks segment blew my mind.

"And the Soviet Union learned they did not have the funds to support their one capital ship.  With the Capital One Venture Card's cash-back program and no annual fees, you'll have more funds to support your fleet of ships."


Somebody named "Peggy" managed to bilk the Soviet card holder out of almost a million $$$ in gas money.

If only they had gone with Capitol One.
 
2022-05-23 8:10:19 PM  

hunh: I often wonder, how "well" is the Russian nuclear arsenal maintained?


If they have ten that work as advertised we're farked.
 
2022-05-23 9:27:41 PM  
"Kuznetsov is more of a Potemkin village, which if you are unfamiliar, is a construction whose purpose is to provide an external facade to a country that's doing poorly, to make it look like they're doing better than they really are. Kind of like Instagram but for countries"

Ruthless.
 
2022-05-23 11:16:29 PM  

lifeslammer: cranked: SpectroBoy: I feel like the global intelligence agencies really need to be looked at in detail.
It sure seems like all they did is read Putin's press releases and regurgitate then on letterhead.

Weak enemies don't encourage bottomless budgets.

And one thing the KGB/FSB was/is very, very good at is tagging anyone who tries to spy in russia and "dealing with them"


Also remember, they only had six carrier capable aircraft, so they kept painting new numbers on them until people thought they had 60.
 
2022-05-23 11:34:23 PM  

IDisposable: Russia has weather and other natural advantages when playing a DEFENSIVE game.  But when they go on offense, their general ineptitude comes into play.


Some of the smartest and most intelligent people you will ever meet are Russians...and they stay the fark away from the government, and especially the military.

Russia's real problem are the Oligarchs, who just run things the way the communist higher ups did, without the pretense that they are serving the people.  The communist higher ups in turn just ran things the same way the Czar and the Russian nobility ran things, but claiming they were doing it for the workers instead of God and Emporer.
 
2022-05-23 11:38:02 PM  

hunh: I often wonder, how "well" is the Russian nuclear arsenal maintained?


Probably not very well at all.  The problem is the handful of nukes that do work, and are attached to missiles tht get through is probably more than enough to really fark the world over.
 
2022-05-24 5:05:47 AM  
Cut US military spending by 80%.   Now.  Not doing so is criminal at this point.   Make up some new department where former military help communities (and not by everyone becoming cops) and give them all the money.   Close 80% of the bases, sell half the navy and air force and army equipment, spread it around all our allies at a discount and let the rest of the planet use our gear to kick idiots like Russia, just like we are literally now doing in Ukraine.
 
2022-05-24 9:06:31 AM  

dbaggins: Cut US military spending by 80%.   Now.  Not doing so is criminal at this point.   Make up some new department where former military help communities (and not by everyone becoming cops) and give them all the money.   Close 80% of the bases, sell half the navy and air force and army equipment, spread it around all our allies at a discount and let the rest of the planet use our gear to kick idiots like Russia, just like we are literally now doing in Ukraine.


c.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2022-05-24 9:18:36 AM  

johnny_vegas: dbaggins: Cut US military spending by 80%.   Now.  Not doing so is criminal at this point.   Make up some new department where former military help communities (and not by everyone becoming cops) and give them all the money.   Close 80% of the bases, sell half the navy and air force and army equipment, spread it around all our allies at a discount and let the rest of the planet use our gear to kick idiots like Russia, just like we are literally now doing in Ukraine.

[c.tenor.com image 288x426] [View Full Size image _x_]


i hate everything about that gif so much i kinda like it.
 
2022-05-24 11:44:32 AM  
Adversaries can crank out the carriers, aircraft, escorts, supply ships, and yes even the necessary drydocks but they won't have the toy they think they do.

Nobody appreciates just what it takes to actually operate those things. The Americans have been perfecting flight deck operations for 80 years.  They make it look easy.  It's not.
 
2022-05-24 1:06:24 PM  
You build the thing after you have built the logistics infrastructure needed to support it.

A thing without support simply dies.
 
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