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(Daily Mail)   Alcohol policy adviser fulfils lifelong German fetish dream   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line
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3497 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 May 2022 at 5:09 PM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



40 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-05-23 4:57:50 PM  
Before passing out he was seen with 'feces on his leg' and refused to leave despite the 'smell and sight causing distress to others'
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2022-05-23 5:13:41 PM  
This is one of those, "Could have submitted this with the actual headline and it would still be awesome...", things.
 
2022-05-23 5:15:19 PM  
I thought the lifelong German fetish dream was eating some guy you met on Craigslist, because he asked you to?
 
2022-05-23 5:16:02 PM  
Shat Lederhosen is the name of my Bavarian hardcore polka band.
 
TWX
2022-05-23 5:17:12 PM  

Natalie Portmanteau: I thought the lifelong German fetish dream was eating some guy you met on Craigslist, because he asked you to?


I thought that was Austrian.
 
2022-05-23 5:18:00 PM  
Demoted because you're the alcohol policy advisor, and yet you can't handle your beer.

That's a shame that's gonna linger.

/Much like the stench of him that night.
 
TWX
2022-05-23 5:18:23 PM  

Squid_for_Brains: Shat Lederhosen is the name of my Bavarian hardcore polka band.


It's like Rammstein, Kraftwerk, and Weird Al Yankovic formed a supergroup.
 
TWX
2022-05-23 5:19:05 PM  

Private_Citizen: Demoted because you're the alcohol policy advisor, and yet you can't handle your beer.

That's a shame that's gonna linger.

/Much like the stench of him that night.


I wonder if they gave him that responsibility hoping that he wouldn't drink at all in order to be able to fulfill his duties.
 
2022-05-23 5:21:15 PM  
Living the dram.
 
2022-05-23 5:23:41 PM  
Don't mix Jaeger and beer.
 
2022-05-23 5:28:10 PM  
Don't mix Everclear and NyQuil. It's the stuffy sneezy who sh*t in my pants medicine.
 
2022-05-23 5:31:37 PM  
He shoulda worn his brown lederhos--

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Oh Shiat.
 
2022-05-23 5:31:56 PM  

TWX: Natalie Portmanteau: I thought the lifelong German fetish dream was eating some guy you met on Craigslist, because he asked you to?

I thought that was Austrian.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-05-23 5:32:24 PM  

Ragin' Asian: Don't mix Jaeger and beer.


Fark user imageView Full Size


Drink the apple one "Apfelkorn" with beer at Fests. Much more tolerable.
 
2022-05-23 5:37:46 PM  
He may have been demoted from his military rank of Sergeant Major but his honorary civilian rank of Major F*cking Twat is still the same.
 
2022-05-23 5:56:12 PM  

Squid_for_Brains: Shat Lederhosen is the name of my Bavarian hardcore polka band.


Shart Attack is the name of my Massive Attack tribute project.
 
2022-05-23 5:59:43 PM  

Beerguy: Ragin' Asian: Don't mix Jaeger and beer.

[Fark user image 850x654]

Drink the apple one "Apfelkorn" with beer at Fests. Much more tolerable.


I'm not familiar with those drinks but I'm pretty sure Goldwasser means piss, and have alerted the Coors legal team.
 
2022-05-23 6:09:09 PM  

Natalie Portmanteau: I thought the lifelong German fetish dream was eating some guy you met on Craigslist, because he asked you to?


Could have been a misunderstanding in the translation
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2022-05-23 6:09:51 PM  
A man is at the bar drinking with his buddies, orders a shot and and immediately pukes all over his own shirt. "Wha' my gonna do now? My wifez gonna kill me."
"Relax," one of his buddies says, "give me a ten-dollar bill." The friend folds up the bill and puts it in the drunk guy's shirt pocket. "Tell your wife some drunk puked on you and gave you ten bucks to have your shirt cleaned."
"Thass a great idea!"
When the drunk gets home his wife wakes up and angrily asks "Where have you been? What happened to your shirt?"
He tries to put on a sober voice and says, "Relaaax honey, some drunk guy puked on me and gave me ten bucks to have my shirt cleaned, see for yourself!"
The drunk's wife reaches in his pocket, grabs the money, and says, "There's $20 in here!"
"Oh yeah, he shiat in my pants too"
 
2022-05-23 6:14:54 PM  
He may develop a rash.
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2022-05-23 6:16:09 PM  

TWX: Natalie Portmanteau: I thought the lifelong German fetish dream was eating some guy you met on Craigslist, because he asked you to?

I thought that was Austrian.


Nope.  Not the most famous case, at least.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armin_Meiwes
 
2022-05-23 6:23:39 PM  

TWX: Natalie Portmanteau: I thought the lifelong German fetish dream was eating some guy you met on Craigslist, because he asked you to?

I thought that was Austrian.


No, thats kidnap your kids and have incest babies with them in an underground junction, or conquer most of Europe while on a meth bender.

This incident sounds like a really shiatty episode of an It Ain't Half Hot Mum remake.
 
2022-05-23 7:03:56 PM  
Poopsie daisy.
 
2022-05-23 7:23:36 PM  
A Regimental Sergeant Major in charge of making sure his men didn't get too drunk at an Army Oktoberfest bash ended up so inebriated he soiled himself in his lederhosen, a court martial heard.

RSM Michael Ransley was supposed to be 'responsible for setting and maintaining standards' at the event at the Infantry Battle School in Brecon, Wales - but disgraced himself and was found collapsed with 'a strong smell of vomit and faeces'.


I see a very bright future ahead of him in the Conservative party.
 
2022-05-23 7:26:23 PM  
Well, his job was to make sure that his men were sober, not himself, so I can't judge yet.

/hr may still be the best kind of correct
 
2022-05-23 7:31:37 PM  

Shakespeare's Monkey: Don't mix Everclear and NyQuil. It's the stuffy sneezy who sh*t in my pants medicine.


That just f*cking made me howl!

Well done!
 
2022-05-23 7:33:49 PM  

ComaToast: Beerguy: Ragin' Asian: Don't mix Jaeger and beer.

[Fark user image 850x654]

Drink the apple one "Apfelkorn" with beer at Fests. Much more tolerable.

I'm not familiar with those drinks but I'm pretty sure Goldwasser means piss, and have alerted the Coors legal team.



Coors can afford a legal "team"???
 
2022-05-23 7:43:35 PM  
Faeces.

Is this 1870 or something?   Spell it right, fer chrissakes...

Damn Brits...
 
2022-05-23 8:00:20 PM  

PR Deltoid: Faeces.

Is this 1870 or something?   Spell it right, fer chrissakes...

Damn Brits...


OK: Fæces.
 
2022-05-23 8:45:08 PM  
That's British ingenuity and can-do spirit!  He didn't have two girls or a cup but he did his level best anyway!
 
2022-05-23 8:57:53 PM  

mrmopar5287: PR Deltoid: Faeces.

Is this 1870 or something?   Spell it right, fer chrissakes...

Damn Brits...

OK: Fæces.


Touche!   😄
 
2022-05-23 9:43:50 PM  
He got so drunk he threw up while shiatting his pants. Now that's getting it done.
 
2022-05-23 11:10:54 PM  
He looks he's had a few beers since he was fitted for his uniform.
 
2022-05-24 12:47:40 AM  
Oops! I Crapped My Pants: Undergarments for the Elderly - Saturday Night Live
Youtube rQ9qsXu34SM
 
2022-05-24 1:21:24 AM  
He got this shiatfaced, and wants us all to believe that it's a one-off?  Bullshiat.

/fox guarding the henhouse
 
2022-05-24 2:19:12 AM  

TWX: Private_Citizen: Demoted because you're the alcohol policy advisor, and yet you can't handle your beer.

That's a shame that's gonna linger.

/Much like the stench of him that night.

I wonder if they gave him that responsibility hoping that he wouldn't drink at all in order to be able to fulfill his duties.


No.  They know better than that.  They gave him the responsibility hoping he'd keep it at a buzz and actually circulate to weed the serious drunkies out and get them out of sight to sleep it off somewhere where the public isn't going to see the mess.  He failed, badly.  Officering 101 fail - butterbar could do better than that, and likely would
 
2022-05-24 2:24:41 AM  
I do hereby promise only to watch the Ren & Stimpy show, to make under-leg noises during the good scenes, to wear unwashed lederhosen every single day for the rest of my life.

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2022-05-24 2:25:23 AM  
That fatass pos is a regimental sergeant major??
 
2022-05-24 3:10:38 AM  
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2022-05-24 6:11:03 AM  

Pert: [Fark user image 425x425] [View Full Size image _x_]


These days it's hard to believe that Her Immortal Highness Beyonce costarred in an Austin Powers movie.
 
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