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(Some Guy) Weeners Bank employs a dick move in response to ransomware gang   (grahamcluley.com) divider line
    More: Weeners, Computer security, Internet, Security, English-language films, Computer, Graham Cluley, Information security, Bank of England  
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5671 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 May 2022 at 10:50 AM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2022-05-21 6:19:51 AM  
Big dick energy.

/🍆
 
2022-05-21 7:26:47 AM  
No Goatse? The perfect opportunity to use one!
 
2022-05-21 10:55:36 AM  
Sign me up!  :)
 
2022-05-21 10:56:09 AM  
Banks vs hackers

Can both sides lose?
 
2022-05-21 10:57:26 AM  

pastramithemosterotic: Banks vs hackers

Can both sides lose?


Hey, good to see you again, munchkin!  How ya been?
 
2022-05-21 11:00:14 AM  
OK, let me get this straight.  A bank in farking Zambia knows more about internal network security and proper backups (and farking implements it correctly) than half the targeted companies/entities in the Western world.

Just let that sink in for a few moments.
 
2022-05-21 11:02:20 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-05-21 11:02:30 AM  
Was it a picture of Elon Musk's dick? Then maybe the ransomeware guys could get a horse out of the deal.
 
2022-05-21 11:03:51 AM  

GrogSmash: OK, let me get this straight.  A bank in farking Zambia knows more about internal network security and proper backups (and farking implements it correctly) than half the targeted companies/entities in the Western world.

Just let that sink in for a few moments.


The real issue is so many companies refuse to invest in doing the right things for reasons ... be it cost, hubris, whatever.
 
2022-05-21 11:08:14 AM  
"The disruption, which affected some systems at the Bank such as the Bureau De Change Monitoring System...

"But how do you make money?"
"One word. Volume"
 
2022-05-21 11:08:32 AM  

Chromium_One: GrogSmash: OK, let me get this straight.  A bank in farking Zambia knows more about internal network security and proper backups (and farking implements it correctly) than half the targeted companies/entities in the Western world.

Just let that sink in for a few moments.

The real issue is so many companies refuse to invest in doing the right things for reasons ... be it cost, hubris, whatever.


Oh I know, been there, done that.  And yet again, it comes back to what I just said...

A bank in farking Zambia has more common sense than half the targeted entities in the Western world.  They spent what was required to handle a complete clusterfark.  They didn't biatch and whine (well, they probably did, but they still ponied up) and cut this, that, and this other things becuase of the expense, and made the whole system useless.
 
2022-05-21 11:15:15 AM  

GrogSmash: OK, let me get this straight.  A bank in farking Zambia knows more about internal network security and proper backups (and farking implements it correctly) than half the targeted companies/entities in the Western world.

Just let that sink in for a few moments.


It would seem they don't expend a lot of energy on making their workplace more inclusive.
 
2022-05-21 11:15:53 AM  
The only way to stop ransomware for good is for it to not be profitable, so yeah, crudely telling them to fark off, right up to sending dick pics? Absolutely appropriate.

That said, as everyone is pointing out in this thread, we expect a fricking bank to actually secure our money and our transactions. It's literally their one job, since they don't pay meaningful interest anymore, and they profit off our savings.
 
2022-05-21 11:19:43 AM  

Thoreny: No Goatse? The perfect opportunity to use one!


"Sure, we have the money.  It's in....HERE"
 
2022-05-21 11:20:05 AM  
I think the real question is which dicks are featured.

Did they provide pics of their own staff's dicks, or did they submit dick pics copied from a Bing search result? Did they forward dick pics which had previously been sent to them by others?

If they found a way to do this without violating any policy within their company, then I either applaud their cleverness or decry their out of date policies.
 
2022-05-21 11:22:38 AM  
Next time they should send a link to access the extortion payment.
 
2022-05-21 11:32:30 AM  

skinink: Was it a picture of Elon Musk's dick? Then maybe the ransomeware guys could get a horse out of the deal.


Or at least a year in college.
 
2022-05-21 11:36:54 AM  
Do they have any branches here in the U.S.? Because I really want to open an account with them now.
 
2022-05-21 11:39:59 AM  

Chromium_One: GrogSmash: OK, let me get this straight.  A bank in farking Zambia knows more about internal network security and proper backups (and farking implements it correctly) than half the targeted companies/entities in the Western world.

Just let that sink in for a few moments.

The real issue is so many companies refuse to invest in doing the right things for reasons ... be it cost, hubris, whatever.


I'm guessing they'd rather the $$$ go to the CEO & shareholders instead of making their customer's accounts safe.
 
2022-05-21 11:40:02 AM  
Zambia 1, Russia 0z
 
2022-05-21 11:40:11 AM  

GrogSmash: OK, let me get this straight.  A bank in farking Zambia knows more about internal network security and proper backups (and farking implements it correctly) than half the targeted companies/entities in the Western world.

Just let that sink in for a few moments.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-05-21 11:40:39 AM  
Zambia 1, Russia 0
 
2022-05-21 11:45:24 AM  

MIAppologia: pastramithemosterotic: Banks vs hackers

Can both sides lose?

Hey, good to see you again, munchkin!  How ya been?


Alive and still in Florida. And not sending dick pics
 
2022-05-21 11:57:41 AM  

GrogSmash: OK, let me get this straight.  A bank in farking Zambia knows more about internal network security and proper backups (and farking implements it correctly) than half the targeted companies/entities in the Western world.

Just let that sink in for a few moments.


Yep, they actually backed their shiat up and when they got attacked wiped and restored from those backups.  Some, if not many, or most companies believe the ransom is cheaper than maintaining backups apparently.

That tells me that there's room for the ransomware gangs to up their prices.

My brother and I each have a NAS and they replicate to each other.  We also back up all important data to large external hard drives.  So there are backups of all our important data in two different locations.

FYI, a NAS is not a backup.  It's unlikely but possible that more drives than your RAID can survive will die at the same time.  Power surge, flood, fire, etc.
 
2022-05-21 11:58:20 AM  
long ago Sinko was a temp courier for a Bank franchise in NoNJ USA. went to different branches, picked up small boxes, dropped off locked envelopes. the young ladies working at the Banks just got better and better as the day went on. dressed to the nines, F Me style high heel shoes, great make up. gorgeous young women. what a great job that was.
 
2022-05-21 12:00:30 PM  
Yeah, someone at the bank obviously paid attention to backups and storing them to take them back to where they were before the infection. This is what should happen with this ransomware shiat.
 
2022-05-21 12:13:00 PM  
Dick pics from Zambia, eh?  So, the point was to bog-down the hackers' systems by uploading such, uh... big files.

/I would like to apply for a position with this bank's security team, please.
 
2022-05-21 12:13:29 PM  

GrogSmash: OK, let me get this straight.  A bank in farking Zambia knows more about internal network security and proper backups (and farking implements it correctly) than half the targeted companies/entities in the Western world.

Just let that sink in for a few moments.


That or they've got 2 pcs and all their records are output on punched tape as they're created.
 
2022-05-21 12:17:16 PM  

ThighsofGlory: GrogSmash: OK, let me get this straight.  A bank in farking Zambia knows more about internal network security and proper backups (and farking implements it correctly) than half the targeted companies/entities in the Western world.

Just let that sink in for a few moments.

It would seem they don't expend a lot of energy on making their workplace more inclusive.


Stupidest thing I have heard today. Congrats, MegaMAGAT
 
2022-05-21 12:20:06 PM  
This should be held as the gold standard response to ransom ware.
 
2022-05-21 12:28:47 PM  

GrogSmash: OK, let me get this straight.  A bank in farking Zambia knows more about internal network security and proper backups (and farking implements it correctly) than half the targeted companies/entities in the Western world.

Just let that sink in for a few moments.


It should be pointed out that this is not a bank in Zambia...  It is THE BANK OF ZAMBIZA.  The national bank of the country.  More akin to the Fed, than your local bank.
 
2022-05-21 12:29:09 PM  
Zambia obviously....

Quinzy: GrogSmash: OK, let me get this straight.  A bank in farking Zambia knows more about internal network security and proper backups (and farking implements it correctly) than half the targeted companies/entities in the Western world.

Just let that sink in for a few moments.

It should be pointed out that this is not a bank in Zambia...  It is THE BANK OF ZAMBIZA.  The national bank of the country.  More akin to the Fed, than your local bank.

 
2022-05-21 12:33:50 PM  

GrogSmash: OK, let me get this straight.  A bank in farking Zambia knows more about internal network security and proper backups (and farking implements it correctly) than half the targeted companies/entities in the Western world.

Just let that sink in for a few moments.


Ok - I let it sink in - still not even remotely surprised.  Bank in Zambia has to deal with shiat people wouldn't even farking TRY in most big modern nations.  Like living out on the frontier - you're going to have to worry about bandits, wild animals, all kinds of shiat.  Banking has it's equivalents.  Ain't easy playing that game out on the fringes.  Like talking to a scam expert from Nigeria - they've seen some shiat grifters from Paducah wouldn't even try drunk

/and that's a high farking bar
 
2022-05-21 12:35:07 PM  

shabu: I think the real question is which dicks are featured.

Did they provide pics of their own staff's dicks, or did they submit dick pics copied from a Bing search result? Did they forward dick pics which had previously been sent to them by others?

If they found a way to do this without violating any policy within their company, then I either applaud their cleverness or decry their out of date policies.


The number of people who can submit selfie dick pics and would also be offended at being asked to do so is vanishingly small. It's a short list, if you will...a little group.


ThighsofGlory: It would seem they don't expend a lot of energy on making their workplace more inclusive.


It would seem that you don't expend a lot of energy on making your statements more insightful.
 
2022-05-21 1:16:16 PM  

GrogSmash: OK, let me get this straight.  A bank in farking Zambia knows more about internal network security and proper backups (and farking implements it correctly) than half the targeted companies/entities in the Western world.

Just let that sink in for a few moments.


Other banks would not admit a breach if it fixed it this quickly.  It would provide some other excuse for the lapse in availability.
 
2022-05-21 1:40:51 PM  
I don't know who the IT team is at this bank, but I wish I could send them a case of beer. If this isn't setting the example for how ransomware attacks should typically play out, I don't know what is.

"We encrypted yo sh*t, send us bitcoin if you want it back."

"Lol, we have solid, up-to-date backups which weren't affected, so suck on this."
 
2022-05-21 2:08:55 PM  
Of course the hackers were able to get in the system in the first place - there is a good chance that whatevwr vulnerability that allowed them to get in still exists in those restored backups as well, and they may very well get hacked a second time by some now very pissed off hackers.
 
2022-05-21 2:15:04 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


/obligatory
 
2022-05-21 2:40:25 PM  
People seem surprised that the bank had a disaster plan. When you're in a poor country you know bad things can happen and there isn't a semi full of money that will come and make it all better.
 
2022-05-21 3:23:54 PM  
WElcome to zambia aNd have a nice DaY
 
2022-05-21 3:49:35 PM  

GrogSmash: OK, let me get this straight.  A bank in farking Zambia knows more about internal network security and proper backups (and farking implements it correctly) than half the targeted companies/entities in the Western world.

Just let that sink in for a few moments.


Or they are lying and paid them off.
 
2022-05-21 3:51:35 PM  

shabu: Next time they should send a link to access the extortion payment.


And that link should not only have a dic pic or rick roll, but upload a virus to their computers.
 
2022-05-21 3:55:16 PM  

GrogSmash: OK, let me get this straight.  A bank in farking Zambia knows more about internal network security and proper backups (and farking implements it correctly) than half the targeted companies/entities in the Western world.

Just let that sink in for a few moments.


Ok, but then it has to leave.

friday-fun.comView Full Size
 
2022-05-21 4:02:53 PM  
That took some testicular fortitude.
 
2022-05-21 6:11:03 PM  

shabu: Next time they should send a link to access the extortion payment.


The ad before the song starts kinda ruins it.
 
2022-05-21 6:37:09 PM  

Arkkuss: GrogSmash: OK, let me get this straight.  A bank in farking Zambia knows more about internal network security and proper backups (and farking implements it correctly) than half the targeted companies/entities in the Western world.

Just let that sink in for a few moments.

Yep, they actually backed their shiat up and when they got attacked wiped and restored from those backups.  Some, if not many, or most companies believe the ransom is cheaper than maintaining backups apparently.

That tells me that there's room for the ransomware gangs to up their prices.

My brother and I each have a NAS and they replicate to each other.  We also back up all important data to large external hard drives.  So there are backups of all our important data in two different locations.

FYI, a NAS is not a backup.  It's unlikely but possible that more drives than your RAID can survive will die at the same time.  Power surge, flood, fire, etc.


First RAID system I ever worked with was years ago.  SysAdmin got a good deal on a bunch of IBM drives, and we had a whopping 50G of RAID secure backup storage.  (Which tells you how long ago it was)

All was fine and dandy, until one of the drives failed in a puff of magic blue smoke.  OK, no big deal.  Swap in a replacement, kick off the rebuild.  Second drive in the affected 'sector' (forget the right term) failed in a puff of magic blue smoke during said rebuild, corrupted the whole damned thing.

We got most of our stuff back from backups, but we quickly learned just how many tools and app patches, etc, we weren't backing up because they weren't 'critical'...  Gah.  I had some fun conversations with various vendors after that going along the lines of "Yes, I realize that version of your product is EoL.  However our customers still use it, so we support it, so we need access to this list of patches..."

Regarding the RAID system... the drives in question were IBM DeathStars. :P
 
2022-05-21 6:46:24 PM  

GrogSmash: First RAID system I ever worked with was years ago.  SysAdmin got a good deal on a bunch of IBM drives, and we had a whopping 50G of RAID secure backup storage.  (Which tells you how long ago it was)


As you found out the hard way: "RAID is not a backup"

Those Deathstar drives were horrible
 
2022-05-21 6:52:52 PM  

Excelsior: GrogSmash: First RAID system I ever worked with was years ago.  SysAdmin got a good deal on a bunch of IBM drives, and we had a whopping 50G of RAID secure backup storage.  (Which tells you how long ago it was)

As you found out the hard way: "RAID is not a backup"

Those Deathstar drives were horrible


Oh we had backups as well, but offsite, and apparently incomplete outside of the source tree, email, primary tool library.  Otherwise we would have been farked up the behind with a rusty spiked bat.
 
2022-05-21 8:27:48 PM  

MythDragon: WElcome to zambia aNd have a nice DaY


If you didn't have TF I would sponsor you for that one
 
2022-05-21 8:33:06 PM  
If you have competent tech people and good backups, sending a dick pick is always the right response.

It's very important that you validate your backup procedures AND RECOVERY on a regular basis.  If you have not tested your recovery process, you do not have any backups.  I've heard too many horror stories of backups found to be faulty when a recovery was needed but failed.

Of course, it won't matter that you have the best tech people on the planet if the middle managers fark things up by refusing to budget for a proper backup system.  "Why do we need to pay for offsite data storage?  That's just wasting money."  It's the tech people who get fired when they can't recover because the locally stored backup was also corrupted.
 
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