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(musicfeeds) Weeners The Australian election is not only NSFW, it topped the iTunes charts with Ben Garrison creamy goodness   (musicfeeds.com.au) divider line
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2259 clicks; posted to Politics » on 21 May 2022 at 2:25 AM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2022-05-21 2:42:35 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-05-21 2:43:48 AM  
The music... iz hardbass

Cheeki Breeki Hardbass
Youtube rEckY-TUv9I
 
2022-05-21 2:47:57 AM  
"fark you and your family and the essential services you rely on / Right now, as a criminal, the thing I love is corruption / fark you, other coonts facing floods and bushfires / When disaster strikes I'm ready to go on vacation in Hawaii."

"Coal makes me hard / Coal makes me come / My dick is always hard for coal / And it's only getting harder."


this should be the incidental music that follows Munchkin around wherever he goes.
 
2022-05-21 2:57:54 AM  

tintar: "fark you and your family and the essential services you rely on / Right now, as a criminal, the thing I love is corruption / fark you, other coonts facing floods and bushfires / When disaster strikes I'm ready to go on vacation in Hawaii."

"Coal makes me hard / Coal makes me come / My dick is always hard for coal / And it's only getting harder."

this should be the incidental music that follows Munchkin around wherever he goes.


Teddy Cruz needs a Cancun remix for this as well.

But be serious, you Americans are just annoyed that you don't get to have a sausage on bread after you vote.
 
2022-05-21 3:10:47 AM  

AnotherAussiefarker: But be serious, you Americans are just annoyed that you don't get to have a sausage on bread after you vote.


damn your scaly antipodal hide!!!

Fark user imageView Full Size


/you're not wrong
 
2022-05-21 3:29:41 AM  
One of my biggest problems with this Evangelical Christian Marketing c*nt bag, is that he has openly said "I am doing G*d's work."

Anyone who says such shiat should be mad fun of and treated with contempt.
 
2022-05-21 3:30:31 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-05-21 3:31:02 AM  
https://www.theguardian.com/global/video/2017/feb/09/scott-morrison-brings-a-chunk-of-coal-into-parliament-video
Scott Morrison brought a chunk of coal into the chamber on Thursday, taunting Labor about its energy policies by saying: 'This is coal, don't be afraid.' Barnaby Joyce gleefully juggled the coal before passing around to colleagues while Morrison spruiked its virtues to the chamber
Scott Morrison brings coal to question time: what fresh idiocy is this? | Katharine Murphy


a different TikTok video
https://twitter.com/hughriminton/status/1501841089036128259
 
2022-05-21 3:35:57 AM  
Does that mean it's replaced Waltzing Mathilda as the national anthem?

Also, from where did the Garrison/cum meme originate?
 
2022-05-21 3:43:18 AM  

Ragin' Asian: Does that mean it's replaced Waltzing Mathilda as the national anthem?

Also, from where did the Garrison/cum meme originate?


Same place all of Garrison's cum originates, I really don't want to have to spell out the biology of that.

Less snarky answer: Google is your friend!

https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/ben-garrison-cum-comics
 
2022-05-21 4:06:50 AM  
Ooh, the ABC coverage has started in Australia, good evening Antony Green, obviously a while before any numbers come in.
 
2022-05-21 4:09:10 AM  
The polls just closed in the most populated states.  About half the population voted early or by post anyway.  Now we play the waiting game.

/ does anyone have the relevant .gif of Homer Simpson losing his shiat?
\\ don't fark this up again, Australia
 
2022-05-21 4:11:15 AM  

Ragin' Asian: Does that mean it's replaced Waltzing Mathilda as the national anthem?

Also, from where did the Garrison/cum meme originate?


Unfortunately, we already replaced Waltzing Matilda with an awful bloody dirge a few decades ago. This isa welcome replacement for the replacement...
 
2022-05-21 4:15:39 AM  

caira: Ragin' Asian: Does that mean it's replaced Waltzing Mathilda as the national anthem?

Also, from where did the Garrison/cum meme originate?

Unfortunately, we already replaced Waltzing Matilda with an awful bloody dirge a few decades ago. This isa welcome replacement for the replacement...


Every Australian knows Khe Sanh is the true National Anthem!
 
2022-05-21 4:17:20 AM  

caira: Ragin' Asian: Does that mean it's replaced Waltzing Mathilda as the national anthem?

Also, from where did the Garrison/cum meme originate?

Unfortunately, we already replaced Waltzing Matilda with an awful bloody dirge a few decades ago. This isa welcome replacement for the replacement...


Waltzing Matilda was never an anthem, just a popular tune. The dirge of which you accurately speak replaced God Save The Queen (yes, the British anthem) as the official anthem in the 70's. Fortunately we adopted an unofficial anthem.....

IT'S A LONG WAY TO THE TOP (IF YOU WANNA ROCK 'N' ROLL) - AC DC
Youtube -sUXMzkh-jI
 
2022-05-21 4:20:01 AM  

Ragin' Asian: Does that mean it's replaced Waltzing Mathilda as the national anthem?

Also, from where did the Garrison/cum meme originate?


Aussie_As: Less snarky answer: Google is your friend!

https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/ben-garrison-cum-comics


seriously, this one is my favorite

Fark user imageView Full Size


hunh, GIS for garrison cum pulled up this one, which is entirely new to me and yet unsurprising

Fark user imageView Full Size


/also has anyone seen Bensane recently?
 
2022-05-21 4:25:19 AM  

Jemraine: caira: Ragin' Asian: Does that mean it's replaced Waltzing Mathilda as the national anthem?

Also, from where did the Garrison/cum meme originate?

Unfortunately, we already replaced Waltzing Matilda with an awful bloody dirge a few decades ago. This isa welcome replacement for the replacement...

Every Australian knows Khe Sanh is the true National Anthem!


Fair call, also deserves the video (this one's possibly unknown to most American Farkers, worth a few minutes of listen, it's basically our equivalent of Springsteen's "Born in the USA" but was written years earlier.

Cold Chisel - Khe Sanh [Official Video]
Youtube inKlN0ScObA
 
2022-05-21 4:52:31 AM  
I didn't even know Australia had coal.

Fark user imageView Full Size


It's not only the flora and fauna  (and residents) who will eventually kill you. Politicians akin to American West Virginians will, too.
 
2022-05-21 4:54:57 AM  

MrBallou: I didn't even know Australia had coal.


Well we are doing everything we can to offload the coal we do have.
 
2022-05-21 5:03:29 AM  
Voting without pants was apparently a thing at this election

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-05-21 5:08:09 AM  

Aussie_As: Voting without pants was apparently a thing at this election

[Fark user image image 384x384]


You have a delightful country.

What are your immigration policies?
 
2022-05-21 5:19:35 AM  

Aussie_As: Voting without pants was apparently a thing at this election

[Fark user image 384x384]


That's an old white man's ass.

/I should know
//I'm sitting on one
 
2022-05-21 5:20:21 AM  

MrBallou: Aussie_As: Voting without pants was apparently a thing at this election

[Fark user image image 384x384]

You have a delightful country.

What are your immigration policies?


I really hope they have a law banning ducklips.
 
2022-05-21 5:25:20 AM  
It's still early but I'm certainly not seeing any signs of a decent swing to Labor, looks to me like ScoMo might become the first Australian PM to win more than one election since John Howard in 2004.
 
2022-05-21 5:31:51 AM  
Aah, the ABC has just explained that all the votes counted thus far are the ones which were cast today, the prepoll votes haven't been counted yet, this could be like the US in 2020 when the later-counted votes favoured the progressive side of politics. Here's hoping! Because at the moment it's looking very similar to 2019.
 
2022-05-21 5:33:06 AM  

bughunter: Aussie_As: Voting without pants was apparently a thing at this election

[Fark user image 384x384]

That's an old white man's ass.

/I should know
//I'm sitting on one


Well you have a cute bum, sir.
 
2022-05-21 5:54:45 AM  

Aussie_As: Ooh, the ABC coverage has started in Australia, good evening Antony Green, obviously a while before any numbers come in.


Give us updates, with commentary because I don't know nothing about Australian politics.  Who's the biggest bastard who needs to lose the biggest?
 
2022-05-21 6:04:39 AM  

Aquapope: Aussie_As: Ooh, the ABC coverage has started in Australia, good evening Antony Green, obviously a while before any numbers come in.

Give us updates, with commentary because I don't know nothing about Australian politics.  Who's the biggest bastard who needs to lose the biggest?


Pauline Hanson's One Nation and "Australia's Trump" Clive Palmer don't seem to have much happening, so that's great news right away as far as the biggest bastards are concerned. The Greens are doing surprisingly well in some parts of the country, and centrist independents look like picking up a few seats off the conservatives.

The upshot is that the conservatives (The Liberal Party which sounds counterintuitive to Americans but the Liberal Party represents moderate liberal and conservative constituencies, wheras their main opposition the Labor Party is the party of unionised workers, it's not liberal because it's collectivist) are losing votes but not in huge numbers in the seats that matter. Labor didn't have a great campaign and thus they're not picking up the votes lost by the Liberals, the Greens and independents seem to be the big beneficiaries.

Personally I'm a Labor man but I don't think my side will get up on the numbers I'm seeing right now. It turns out a huge number of voters voted early, and those votes are being counted later, so that might change things much like postal votes changed the US election from the early results in 2020.

In my personal opinion our conservative Prime Minister isn't a massive bastard, he's just incompetent and doesn't deserve another term. But obviously that's just my view.
 
2022-05-21 6:14:55 AM  

Aussie_As: Aquapope: Aussie_As: Ooh, the ABC coverage has started in Australia, good evening Antony Green, obviously a while before any numbers come in.

Give us updates, with commentary because I don't know nothing about Australian politics.  Who's the biggest bastard who needs to lose the biggest?

Pauline Hanson's One Nation and "Australia's Trump" Clive Palmer don't seem to have much happening, so that's great news right away as far as the biggest bastards are concerned. The Greens are doing surprisingly well in some parts of the country, and centrist independents look like picking up a few seats off the conservatives.

The upshot is that the conservatives (The Liberal Party which sounds counterintuitive to Americans but the Liberal Party represents moderate liberal and conservative constituencies, wheras their main opposition the Labor Party is the party of unionised workers, it's not liberal because it's collectivist) are losing votes but not in huge numbers in the seats that matter. Labor didn't have a great campaign and thus they're not picking up the votes lost by the Liberals, the Greens and independents seem to be the big beneficiaries.

Personally I'm a Labor man but I don't think my side will get up on the numbers I'm seeing right now. It turns out a huge number of voters voted early, and those votes are being counted later, so that might change things much like postal votes changed the US election from the early results in 2020.

In my personal opinion our conservative Prime Minister isn't a massive bastard, he's just incompetent and doesn't deserve another term. But obviously that's just my view.


Thanks, that's perfect!  Let's hope you don't have an Aussie DeJoy lurking in your mailboxes screwing those votes up.
 
2022-05-21 6:27:47 AM  

Aquapope: Aussie_As: Aquapope: Aussie_As: Ooh, the ABC coverage has started in Australia, good evening Antony Green, obviously a while before any numbers come in.

Give us updates, with commentary because I don't know nothing about Australian politics.  Who's the biggest bastard who needs to lose the biggest?

Pauline Hanson's One Nation and "Australia's Trump" Clive Palmer don't seem to have much happening, so that's great news right away as far as the biggest bastards are concerned. The Greens are doing surprisingly well in some parts of the country, and centrist independents look like picking up a few seats off the conservatives.

The upshot is that the conservatives (The Liberal Party which sounds counterintuitive to Americans but the Liberal Party represents moderate liberal and conservative constituencies, wheras their main opposition the Labor Party is the party of unionised workers, it's not liberal because it's collectivist) are losing votes but not in huge numbers in the seats that matter. Labor didn't have a great campaign and thus they're not picking up the votes lost by the Liberals, the Greens and independents seem to be the big beneficiaries.

Personally I'm a Labor man but I don't think my side will get up on the numbers I'm seeing right now. It turns out a huge number of voters voted early, and those votes are being counted later, so that might change things much like postal votes changed the US election from the early results in 2020.

In my personal opinion our conservative Prime Minister isn't a massive bastard, he's just incompetent and doesn't deserve another term. But obviously that's just my view.

Thanks, that's perfect!  Let's hope you don't have an Aussie DeJoy lurking in your mailboxes screwing those votes up.


We do not. The one thing we don't fark around with in this country is elections - it comes from the whole compulsory voting thing, there's an understanding across politics and government that if you're forcing people to do this thing which is normally optional you'd better take it seriously.  Ballot security is taken seriously, we use pencil and paper only with a very reluctant exception for people who are physically unable to owing to disability or coronavirus isolation orders, usually there'd be election officials touring hospitals and nursing homes taking votes there (that's cancelled for this go-round due to Covid), I have never lived less than an hour's walk from at least two polling places, I can vote on the day at any polling place in my district normally or anywhere in the state with a little extra paperwork, every ballot is counted at least twice as a matter of course (the results we're seeing now are count number one and taken as preliminary only), we do not fark around with this. If we elect arseholes, it's generally not because anyone who wanted to vote was prevented from doing so.
 
2022-05-21 6:28:58 AM  
Now Antony's showing some decent swings to Labor in NSW. Very interesting. A few of these seats might not be known for some days. What's odd for mine is how varied the swings are. They're never uniform but it's odd to see the variation from seat to seat, might be zero swing on one seat then 6 per cent an another nearby seat.

Is it just a really odd election, or has the very large pre-poll and postal vote impacted some areas/candidates more than others?
 
2022-05-21 6:31:26 AM  

caira: Aquapope: Aussie_As: Aquapope: Aussie_As: Ooh, the ABC coverage has started in Australia, good evening Antony Green, obviously a while before any numbers come in.

Give us updates, with commentary because I don't know nothing about Australian politics.  Who's the biggest bastard who needs to lose the biggest?

Pauline Hanson's One Nation and "Australia's Trump" Clive Palmer don't seem to have much happening, so that's great news right away as far as the biggest bastards are concerned. The Greens are doing surprisingly well in some parts of the country, and centrist independents look like picking up a few seats off the conservatives.

The upshot is that the conservatives (The Liberal Party which sounds counterintuitive to Americans but the Liberal Party represents moderate liberal and conservative constituencies, wheras their main opposition the Labor Party is the party of unionised workers, it's not liberal because it's collectivist) are losing votes but not in huge numbers in the seats that matter. Labor didn't have a great campaign and thus they're not picking up the votes lost by the Liberals, the Greens and independents seem to be the big beneficiaries.

Personally I'm a Labor man but I don't think my side will get up on the numbers I'm seeing right now. It turns out a huge number of voters voted early, and those votes are being counted later, so that might change things much like postal votes changed the US election from the early results in 2020.

In my personal opinion our conservative Prime Minister isn't a massive bastard, he's just incompetent and doesn't deserve another term. But obviously that's just my view.

Thanks, that's perfect!  Let's hope you don't have an Aussie DeJoy lurking in your mailboxes screwing those votes up.

We do not. The one thing we don't fark around with in this country is elections - it comes from the whole compulsory voting thing, there's an understanding across politics and government that if you're forcing people to do this thing which is normally optional you'd better take it seriously.  Ballot security is taken seriously, we use pencil and paper only with a very reluctant exception for people who are physically unable to owing to disability or coronavirus isolation orders, usually there'd be election officials touring hospitals and nursing homes taking votes there (that's cancelled for this go-round due to Covid), I have never lived less than an hour's walk from at least two polling places, I can vote on the day at any polling place in my district normally or anywhere in the state with a little extra paperwork, every ballot is counted at least twice as a matter of course (the results we're seeing now are count number one and taken as preliminary only), we do not fark around with this. If we elect arseholes, it's generally not because anyone who wanted to vote was prevented from doing so.


Oh, and to your original point, our post office is working just fine, thanks, postal ballots are easy to get, and early voting is pretty straightforward with at least one polling centre in every district open for the  last two weeks, more in rural districts.  The only weakness in the system in terms of getting votes in is in extremely remote areas, which might have had a single day's early voting from a travelling electoral office and nothing on the day. But they're, well, really bloody remote and by definition don't involve a lot of people.
 
2022-05-21 6:40:12 AM  
Most likely scenario:

Labor (left side of politics) forms a minority government with the aid of Greens / Independents.

Antony Green has said he can't see a way forward for the Liberal Party to form government.
 
2022-05-21 6:40:59 AM  
Alcohol free today, normally getting pretty shiatfaced by about this point of the election count. It's quite interesting sober!

/literally passed out before Trump won in 2016, that was early afternoon here in Australia! I do remember waking up and working out what was going on though.
 
2022-05-21 6:43:59 AM  

Archie Goodwin: Most likely scenario:

Labor (left side of politics) forms a minority government with the aid of Greens / Independents.

Antony Green has said he can't see a way forward for the Liberal Party to form government.


Yeah I'm starting to wonder. There are still quite a few variables in those three-way contests though.

/for the benefit of non-Aussies, it's a preferential vote system, so each electorate gets counted down to the final two candidates for the final result; where three candidates are close together there's a LOT of counting to work out which one has their votes redistributed according to preference. It's not a boobies past the post system like the US or the UK.
 
2022-05-21 6:47:38 AM  

Aquapope: Aussie_As: Ooh, the ABC coverage has started in Australia, good evening Antony Green, obviously a while before any numbers come in.

Give us updates, with commentary because I don't know nothing about Australian politics.  Who's the biggest bastard who needs to lose the biggest?


All I know is the Liberals aren't, Labour is, and Scott Morrison is a jackass.
 
2022-05-21 6:51:49 AM  

Aussie_As: Archie Goodwin: Most likely scenario:

Labor (left side of politics) forms a minority government with the aid of Greens / Independents.

Antony Green has said he can't see a way forward for the Liberal Party to form government.

Yeah I'm starting to wonder. There are still quite a few variables in those three-way contests though.

/for the benefit of non-Aussies, it's a preferential vote system, so each electorate gets counted down to the final two candidates for the final result; where three candidates are close together there's a LOT of counting to work out which one has their votes redistributed according to preference. It's not a boobies past the post system like the US or the UK.


All I can say is we'll be waiting a while for the final outcome.
 
2022-05-21 6:55:04 AM  
It helps to remember Australia's Liberals are purely economic liberals. Free market, no government interference, that sort of thing.

(Except when it comes to coal and gas. Then they throw whatever money is demanded, plus a bit extra.)
 
2022-05-21 6:59:20 AM  
The independents are doing very well. Where I live, the seat next to my outer-suburban seat is a semi-rural seat in the well-to-do Adelaide Hills. For years and years it was held by the guy who was the Foreign Minister in the Howard Government, Alexander Downer, the foppiest fop you've ever seen. It was very safe for the Liberal Party, the Labor Party could hold branch meetings in a phone box in Aldgate. Then Downer retired and a young rooster won it for the conservatives but got done in a shonky sexual harassment scandal and it was won by an independent. She's held it ever since. I think the locals are a bit proud of themself for voting independent.

Now we're seeing the same phenomenon in NSW conservative seats. Tony Abbott lost his unloseable seat to Zali Steggle last election, she's romped home tonight. And adjacent seats like North Sydney and Mackellar, which could never go Labor, have had independents do VERY well.

The Liberal Party's shiatty policies on climate and progressive issues like trans rights are definitely hurting them among their well-to-do traditional supporters who are flocking to independents even though they'd never vote Labor.
 
2022-05-21 7:07:58 AM  
The Greens are doing amazingly well. So are the independents, despite the assassination attempt. Looks like the coalition is farked. I think it's about time Scott retired to spend more time with his uke. And Barnaby can kiss my hairy arse.
 
2022-05-21 7:14:29 AM  
Zimmerman's conceded in North Sydney to an independent. This is some of the best real estate in Australia, harbour views of Sydney, Labor could never get close there but an independent's done well. Trent Zimmerman's known to be very strong on climate issues, he's openly gay, he seemed like the perfect Liberal candidate for that seat but the Liberal brand is on the nose with that demographic, they must REALLY hate Scott Morrison.
 
2022-05-21 7:33:27 AM  
Is it time to start sucking each other's cocks yet?  I feel it might be time...
 
2022-05-21 7:35:11 AM  
The Liberal strategist on the ABC has had some amazing turns of phrase.

"It's going to get worse before it gets worse". "The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead." He's clearly going to get shiatfaced as soon as the cameras turn off.
 
2022-05-21 7:40:56 AM  

MrBallou: I didn't even know Australia had coal.

[Fark user image image 425x288]

It's not only the flora and fauna  (and residents) who will eventually kill you. Politicians akin to American West Virginians will, too.


The map is missing a few (spent years working in exploration here), and it doesn't cover off the extraction difficulties.

One massive driver of Australian politics is energy poverty since white settlement:

The only reason for NSW/Sydney's current position as the fiscal/political center of Australia is because of easy access to high quality coal and the energy it provides.

For quite a while it was Melbourne/Victoria (mainly due to Gold), but no quality coal....

The Melbourne/Sydney rivalry is why we have Canberra.

Energy and coal used to be NSW's ace in the hole, but with climate change and the like this massive advantage is declining.

(Aka they used this position to force a different rail gauge on the rest of Australia, to their benefit)
 
2022-05-21 7:43:00 AM  
Big swing to Labor in WA.
 
2022-05-21 7:45:53 AM  

Aussie_As: The Liberal strategist on the ABC has had some amazing turns of phrase.

"It's going to get worse before it gets worse". "The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead." He's clearly going to get shiatfaced as soon as the cameras turn off.


It's just a shame they couldn't have gotten a National Party* strategist in, who wouldn't have waited until after the cameras turned off.  Mind you, that guy would probably have been happy, the Nats are doing okay tonight.

* formerly the Country Party - the common clay of the New West branch of Australia's conservatives, as opposed to the urban and suburban sometimes-just-fiscal conservatives in the LIberal Party.
 
2022-05-21 7:52:17 AM  

Archie Goodwin: Big swing to Labor in WA.


WA clearly didn't have enough fun with their last state election, and is now putting their steel-caps straight into the Federal Libs as well.
 
2022-05-21 7:58:41 AM  
Thinking about what all this means. Basically a huge number of Liberal voters have gone for candidates with better climate credentials than Scott Morrison.

These are Tony Abbott's chickens coming home to roost. Abbott seized the Liberal leadership from Malcolm Turnbull just as the Libs were about to do the carbon-trading deal with Rudd in 2009 or 2010, I can't remember the exact date. He immediately withdrew from negotiating that deal, then the Greens forced Labor into a carbon tax rather than a trading scheme, and Abbott seized on this and won in 2013.

The Libs have gradually shifted on climate but only minimally, even at the start of this campaign that farknuckle from Queensland was promising the Nats wouldn't let carbon neutrality happen ever. The Libs won in 2019 with a scare campaign on Labor's climate policy which was enthusiastically run by the Murdoch press. And I'll admit not everyone found Bill Shorten too convincing, Albo's more of a buffoon but he seems honest about it, he could be Labor's John Howard in that sense.

But today the Libs have been gutted in their safe seats by climate-concerned independents, and the Greens in the case of Brisbane. They've been thrashed in WA after years of over-performing there. They basically have to concede that their previously unconvincing performance on climate has killed them here (just as they never won an election after 1983 UNTIL they finally dropped their opposition to Medicare in 1996, this is exactly the same as that).

The winner here is the environment. That's the best news for Australia we could have, I think.

What next for the Libs? The word is that ScoMo can't go on as leader, and Frydenberg's lost his seat. That leaves Peter Dutton. The Labor voter in me says bring that on, the Australian in me says that would be bad for the Liberal Party on the strength of this election where climate issues have swung the day. It would be best for Australia if the Libs adopt sound climate policies, drag the Nats with them, and live to fight another day if they can dislodge the independents.

The likely reality is Dutton as Lib leader, the Nats have more power in the coalition, and they keep fighting a losing battle on climate issues until they wise up. It took them 13 years to come back from opposing Medicare and I think the climate issue is as momentous as that was.

AUSTRALIA YOU FARKING BEAUTY.
 
2022-05-21 7:59:02 AM  

Perfectly Normal Beast: Archie Goodwin: Big swing to Labor in WA.

WA clearly didn't have enough fun with their last state election, and is now putting their steel-caps straight into the Federal Libs as well.


You better believe it.
 
2022-05-21 8:18:49 AM  
Well, bye Josh!
 
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