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(NYPost)   Massachusetts man marred by monkeypox   (nypost.com) divider line
    More: Sick, Chickenpox, first US case of monkeypox, Varicella zoster virus, Herpes zoster, health officials, Cases of the virus, good condition, west Africa  
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2008 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 May 2022 at 3:05 AM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



30 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-05-19 3:27:10 AM  
Fucking Hell. He caught it in Canada. I was hoping it would give us a miss.
 
2022-05-19 3:48:10 AM  

brantgoose: farking Hell. He caught it in Canada. I was hoping it would give us a miss.


Darwin's revenge for the Ikea abandonment proceeds apace!

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-05-19 3:53:54 AM  
It's made from monkey cum.
 
2022-05-19 4:10:23 AM  
There's absolutely nothing normal about what is happening right now.  We have monkeypox in over a dozen countries with very few traceable international chains of transmission. And it's spreading way better than it is supposed to.

WTF.
 
2022-05-19 4:16:55 AM  
Looks like we might get to test my hypothesis of SARS-2 upgrading concomitant respiratory infections to full-blown airborne spread by drying out of the mucous membranes in the mouth and throat.

/More fun than a barrel full of monkeys!
 
2022-05-19 4:23:57 AM  

backhand.slap.of.reason: There's absolutely nothing normal about what is happening right now.  We have monkeypox in over a dozen countries with very few traceable international chains of transmission. And it's spreading way better than it is supposed to.

WTF.


Exciting isn't it? UK kept ignoring whatever the fark was going on with it for months and now it's all over Western Europe.

So what gives? Covid immunosuppression making us more susceptible in general? Some sort of functional upgrade mutation? The UK is suggesting it's airborne, potentially with R0 of 2. It's like we get to live 2020 all over again!

I'm having a sneaking suspicion that the stock market is having a rough go of this and it's spazzing out from pox instead of the rate hikes that were already priced in.
 
2022-05-19 4:24:58 AM  

KodosZardoz: It's made from monkey cum.


I understood that awesome reference.
 
2022-05-19 5:03:24 AM  
"Here we come, floatin' down the street
Givin' the pox, to every one we meet"
 
2022-05-19 5:20:57 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-05-19 5:27:42 AM  
looper.comView Full Size
 
2022-05-19 6:09:36 AM  
I wonder what the morons will come up with to 'treat' this one. I bet the first thing they try is rubbing ivermectin paste all over their sores.
 
2022-05-19 6:17:50 AM  
Three Words: MONKEY POX PARTIES!
 
2022-05-19 6:41:37 AM  
You've got...the bite!
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-05-19 7:18:28 AM  
y.yarn.coView Full Size
 
2022-05-19 7:56:46 AM  

Stibium: backhand.slap.of.reason: There's absolutely nothing normal about what is happening right now.  We have monkeypox in over a dozen countries with very few traceable international chains of transmission. And it's spreading way better than it is supposed to.

WTF.

Exciting isn't it? UK kept ignoring whatever the fark was going on with it for months and now it's all over Western Europe.

So what gives? Covid immunosuppression making us more susceptible in general? Some sort of functional upgrade mutation? The UK is suggesting it's airborne, potentially with R0 of 2. It's like we get to live 2020 all over again!

I'm having a sneaking suspicion that the stock market is having a rough go of this and it's spazzing out from pox instead of the rate hikes that were already priced in.


1 Somebody farked a monkey
2 somebody shtupped the monkeyfarker
3 Profit
 
2022-05-19 8:06:11 AM  

moku9: Three Words: MONKEY POX PARTIES!


Seeing as it spreads best with contact with lesions, and that lesions show up on the face, hands, and genitals, I don't think these will be much like the chicken pox parties of my youth.

/old like that
//Chicken pox party, come one, come all. If your toddler hasn't had them yet, there's no time to stall. Hip hooray yipee, oh happy day, the day you spot 'em. Nobody told me I had never had 'em. Now I got 'em!
///
 
2022-05-19 8:13:30 AM  

Gooch: Stibium: backhand.slap.of.reason: There's absolutely nothing normal about what is happening right now.  We have monkeypox in over a dozen countries with very few traceable international chains of transmission. And it's spreading way better than it is supposed to.

WTF.

Exciting isn't it? UK kept ignoring whatever the fark was going on with it for months and now it's all over Western Europe.

So what gives? Covid immunosuppression making us more susceptible in general? Some sort of functional upgrade mutation? The UK is suggesting it's airborne, potentially with R0 of 2. It's like we get to live 2020 all over again!

I'm having a sneaking suspicion that the stock market is having a rough go of this and it's spazzing out from pox instead of the rate hikes that were already priced in.

1 Somebody farked a monkey
2 somebody shtupped the monkeyfarker
3 Profit


Monkeypox transmits fine just fine with plain old contact - all it took was someone touching an infected monkey.  Petting zoo probably unless it started somewhere where monkeys are valid food options - in that case probably a hunter gutting a dead one

/more boring but it's also shiat that actually happens
 
2022-05-19 8:26:25 AM  

Gooch: 1 Somebody farked a monkey
2 somebody shtupped the monkeyfarker
3 Profit


You...  You do realize that it is possible to "have contact with monkeys" without farking them, don't you?  ...don't you?!
Fark user imageView Full Size

/Granted, this specific photo was taken at the start of a monkey bukkake but...  my point still stands.
 
2022-05-19 8:27:28 AM  

backhand.slap.of.reason: There's absolutely nothing normal about what is happening right now.  We have monkeypox in over a dozen countries with very few traceable international chains of transmission. And it's spreading way better than it is supposed to.

WTF.


When the population of any living thing on the earth exceeds a certain density, Mother Nature seems to fight to keep its numbers under control.  It applies to ants as well as humans.  Ants get a brain fungus.  Humans get nasty diseases.  This is just the beginning, there's more coming.  The fun is just getting started.
 
2022-05-19 9:21:00 AM  
Tom Lehrer - I got it from Agnes | SUB ITA
Youtube R6qFG0uop9k
 
2022-05-19 9:23:03 AM  

Miss_Dorothy_Kilgallen: Gooch: 1 Somebody farked a monkey
2 somebody shtupped the monkeyfarker
3 Profit

You...  You do realize that it is possible to "have contact with monkeys" without farking them, don't you?  ...don't you?!
[Fark user image image 425x318]
/Granted, this specific photo was taken at the start of a monkey bukkake but...  my point still stands.


Fark user imageView Full Size


/kinky
 
2022-05-19 9:31:07 AM  
The only thing more deadly than monkey pox would seem to be the staggering ignorance and shrieking hysteria of those who write or comment about it...
 
2022-05-19 10:33:42 AM  
Crap! House cleaner was here just yesterday and decluttered my mask collection.
 
2022-05-19 10:37:09 AM  
Just when I was wondering how to explain $6 gasoline in the heartland.
 
2022-05-19 11:14:51 AM  
Monkeypox generally doesn't come from monkeys. It's named that because it was first discovered in laboratory monkeys. It's spread by rodents.

The current "outbreak" is seven people in the UK and one person in the US (who likely contracted it in Canada, from someone who traveled from the UK). They spread it through sexual contact.

tldr: you're not going to get monkeypox.
 
2022-05-19 11:24:15 AM  

caymanjim: Monkeypox generally doesn't come from monkeys. It's named that because it was first discovered in laboratory monkeys. It's spread by rodents.

The current "outbreak" is seven people in the UK and one person in the US (who likely contracted it in Canada, from someone who traveled from the UK). They spread it through sexual contact.

tldr: you're not going to get monkeypox.


Lots of presumptive monkeypox cases awaiting PCR on Twitter.  Apparently a month-long pox infection has been circulating in Britain for a few months now, and the NIH just really sucks at public health.  Saw a few tweeters say that the pox portion of the disease ebbs and flows too, which only serves to make it more terrifying.
 
2022-05-19 11:28:20 AM  

Miss_Dorothy_Kilgallen: Gooch: 1 Somebody farked a monkey
2 somebody shtupped the monkeyfarker
3 Profit

You...  You do realize that it is possible to "have contact with monkeys" without farking them, don't you?  ...don't you?!
[Fark user image 425x318]
/Granted, this specific photo was taken at the start of a monkey bukkake but...  my point still stands.


If your point is still standing after 4 hours, you should seek medical intervention.
 
2022-05-19 11:54:21 AM  
He was last seen climbing into the TD Garden duct work.  Mountain Dew, peanuts, and popcorn reported missing by the vendors at night.  MA state police investigated and found nothing.
/should not be obscure on Fark
 
2022-05-19 2:23:58 PM  
does it give you monkey shingles later in life?
 
2022-05-19 3:36:48 PM  

backhand.slap.of.reason: caymanjim: Monkeypox generally doesn't come from monkeys. It's named that because it was first discovered in laboratory monkeys. It's spread by rodents.

The current "outbreak" is seven people in the UK and one person in the US (who likely contracted it in Canada, from someone who traveled from the UK). They spread it through sexual contact.

tldr: you're not going to get monkeypox.

Lots of presumptive monkeypox cases awaiting PCR on Twitter.  Apparently a month-long pox infection has been circulating in Britain for a few months now, and the NIH just really sucks at public health.  Saw a few tweeters say that the pox portion of the disease ebbs and flows too, which only serves to make it more terrifying.


Have you seen on twitter the presumptive taxi driver in South London yet? Dude says he's losing function of his hands and they look necrotic and it's progressing rapidly. I can't recall the pox skin reaction a doctor said to tell the hospital to check for, but it was to the effect that the pocks were all merging together, so it doesn't look anything like the typical manifestation.

If it is this strain making the rounds I suspect people might start taking things seriously because it looks really bad.

/the best part? He's not been in quarantine for 6 days, just gen-pop
//the hospital figured, ehh, this guy just might be infectious and we ought to move him to a special room...
 
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