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(Huffington Post)   Ultra-MAGA insurrectionist Doug Mastriano wins GQP nom for PA Governor. Says if elected, he will pick a secretary of state who's description sounds very much like Mein Pillow Guy   (huffpost.com) divider line
    More: Scary, President of the United States, United States, Elections, Washington, D.C., United States Senate, Doug Mastriano, New Jersey, Election  
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1501 clicks; posted to Politics » on 18 May 2022 at 2:10 AM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2022-05-18 2:13:52 AM  
Dear Lord! If this guy manages to win the Governorship and Pillow Punk becomes Secretary of State? Even DeSantis couldn't out-douche Derp of that magnitude! PA would have stolen Florida's Clown Crown for decades to come.
 
2022-05-18 2:17:12 AM  
This is the Republican party now. Don't let any Fark independents try to tell you otherwise.
 
2022-05-18 2:19:32 AM  
Hard to imagine that SecState is an appointed position and not an elected official.  Do they even require qualifications of any sort?
 
2022-05-18 2:22:43 AM  

hammettman: Hard to imagine that SecState is an appointed position and not an elected official.  Do they even require qualifications of any sort?


Scarier still, the SoS of that state certifies the election in 2024. A guy hand-picked by Mastriano could hand the state's EVs over to Trump "just cuz" no matter how many Pennsylvanians voted otherwise.

And we all know that's what their endgame is.
 
2022-05-18 2:25:16 AM  

AAAAGGGGHHHH: hammettman: Hard to imagine that SecState is an appointed position and not an elected official.  Do they even require qualifications of any sort?

Scarier still, the SoS of that state certifies the election in 2024. A guy hand-picked by Mastriano could hand the state's EVs over to Trump "just cuz" no matter how many Pennsylvanians voted otherwise.

And we all know that's what their endgame is.


If they do that there's going to be blood on the streets.
 
2022-05-18 2:27:34 AM  
It is going to be interesting when all these ignorant GQPs have to do their jobs in red states, the Secretary of State has some specific roles to perform and if a GQP holds that position, then they are unlikely to perform it.
 
2022-05-18 2:27:40 AM  
Pro-disease assholes have the majority in the PA legislature. If a MAGA asshole ever wins PA governor, it's all over.
 
2022-05-18 2:31:04 AM  
Here in WA, for years we had a Republican SoS who was a voice of reason, who took her job seriously and did a great job. Biden hand picked her to work on election security in his administration. While her own views may deviate from the views of the majority of the state, she never let that affect her performance at the job. She was a known quantity, and she was an asset in her role.

But with her gone, the field is now open to less scrupulous people who prefer to push an agenda than properly run elections. We need more people who are trustworthy running in the elections, not the assclowns from the Q cult.
 
2022-05-18 2:31:19 AM  

red230: AAAAGGGGHHHH: hammettman: Hard to imagine that SecState is an appointed position and not an elected official.  Do they even require qualifications of any sort?

Scarier still, the SoS of that state certifies the election in 2024. A guy hand-picked by Mastriano could hand the state's EVs over to Trump "just cuz" no matter how many Pennsylvanians voted otherwise.

And we all know that's what their endgame is.

If they do that there's going to be blood on the streets.

No, their endgame is a Constitutional Convention. For that they need 2½ more state legislatures.
 
2022-05-18 2:33:07 AM  

COMALite J: their endgame is a Constitutional Convention. For that they need 2½ more state legislatures.


Can we lock them in a windowless brick building with no air conditioning for the summer?
 
2022-05-18 2:36:44 AM  

red230: AAAAGGGGHHHH: hammettman: Hard to imagine that SecState is an appointed position and not an elected official.  Do they even require qualifications of any sort?

Scarier still, the SoS of that state certifies the election in 2024. A guy hand-picked by Mastriano could hand the state's EVs over to Trump "just cuz" no matter how many Pennsylvanians voted otherwise.

And we all know that's what their endgame is.

If they do that there's going to be blood on the streets.


Either aintnuthingonhappen.jpg, or if anyone tries to make a fuss they'll get the Kent State treatment.
 
2022-05-18 2:38:17 AM  

Langdon_777: It is going to be interesting when all these ignorant GQPs have to do their jobs in red states, the Secretary of State has some specific roles to perform and if a GQP holds that position, then they are unlikely to perform it.


You ever heard of a place called "Florida"? They've been deep red for years and the only things they do down there is to come up with new ways to make thing suck even worse than ever.
 
2022-05-18 2:39:28 AM  

COMALite J: red230: AAAAGGGGHHHH: hammettman: Hard to imagine that SecState is an appointed position and not an elected official.  Do they even require qualifications of any sort?

Scarier still, the SoS of that state certifies the election in 2024. A guy hand-picked by Mastriano could hand the state's EVs over to Trump "just cuz" no matter how many Pennsylvanians voted otherwise.

And we all know that's what their endgame is.

If they do that there's going to be blood on the streets.
No, their endgame is a Constitutional Convention. For that they need 2½ more state legislatures.


As I understand it, that would open up everything. I mean everything including whether a state wants to join the new union. It won't work out the way they think.
 
2022-05-18 2:40:55 AM  

COMALite J: red230: AAAAGGGGHHHH: hammettman: Hard to imagine that SecState is an appointed position and not an elected official.  Do they even require qualifications of any sort?

Scarier still, the SoS of that state certifies the election in 2024. A guy hand-picked by Mastriano could hand the state's EVs over to Trump "just cuz" no matter how many Pennsylvanians voted otherwise.

And we all know that's what their endgame is.

If they do that there's going to be blood on the streets.
No, their endgame is a Constitutional Convention. For that they need 2½ more state legislatures.


No more Social Security. Slavery is made legal again. The Church of America is founded. Koch is made a Vicery of the US. And the smokestacks at the camps holding all the atheists and gays will be belching ashes 24/7
 
2022-05-18 3:08:40 AM  
"secular, satanic forces"

the hell? which is it.
 
2022-05-18 3:12:27 AM  
I understand the reason Shapiro was running commercials for him in the primary but after Clinton's "pied piper" strategy giving us Trump and Trumpism, I think it was a bad idea to help a dangerous person advance in a primary just because you believe you have a better chance of beating them. The problem comes with the idea that they are that much closer to doing huge damage and they have a better chance of winning than they did.
 
2022-05-18 3:16:02 AM  

tintar: "secular, satanic forces"

the hell? which is it.


Conservative language... anything they don't like is bad, and therefore is the same thing.  Words do not have specific meanings to them.
 
2022-05-18 3:20:04 AM  
AAAAGGGGHHHH:

No more Social Security. Slavery is made legal again. The Church of America is founded. Koch is made a Vicery of the US. And the smokestacks at the camps holding all the atheists and gays will be belching ashes 24/7

During this calendar year I have come around to thinking your scenario is generally possible in the next quarter-century. And even if it's not of the "Old South" style, slavery will come about through a combination of prejudices and laws that will, in essence, make certain groups of American humans property of a business or industry -- or religious entity.
 
2022-05-18 3:25:12 AM  

Huck And Molly Ziegler: AAAAGGGGHHHH:

No more Social Security. Slavery is made legal again. The Church of America is founded. Koch is made a Vicery of the US. And the smokestacks at the camps holding all the atheists and gays will be belching ashes 24/7

During this calendar year I have come around to thinking your scenario is generally possible in the next quarter-century. And even if it's not of the "Old South" style, slavery will come about through a combination of prejudices and laws that will, in essence, make certain groups of American humans property of a business or industry -- or religious entity.


we've definitely had company towns and company scrip in the past.
 
2022-05-18 3:29:05 AM  

Don't Troll Me Bro!: COMALite J: red230: AAAAGGGGHHHH: hammettman: Hard to imagine that SecState is an appointed position and not an elected official.  Do they even require qualifications of any sort?

Scarier still, the SoS of that state certifies the election in 2024. A guy hand-picked by Mastriano could hand the state's EVs over to Trump "just cuz" no matter how many Pennsylvanians voted otherwise.

And we all know that's what their endgame is.

If they do that there's going to be blood on the streets.
No, their endgame is a Constitutional Convention. For that they need 2½ more state legislatures.

As I understand it, that would open up everything. I mean everything including whether a state wants to join the new union. It won't work out the way they think.

Not so. Say that Hawaii, California, Washington, and Oregon, and maybe New York and Massachusetts all refuse to ratify the new Godly Covenant of Gilead, Galt's Gulch. and the Order of the Organization. They secede and form new nations of Pacifica and New England, respectively. But Gilead of Galt's Gulch, empowered by the Order of the Organization, has the nukes, as does their patron Russia if it manages to survive the current situation long enough. They'd be conquered and brought in as subject territories, forever denied statehood.
 
2022-05-18 3:30:15 AM  

Huck And Molly Ziegler: AAAAGGGGHHHH:

No more Social Security. Slavery is made legal again. The Church of America is founded. Koch is made a Vicery of the US. And the smokestacks at the camps holding all the atheists and gays will be belching ashes 24/7

During this calendar year I have come around to thinking your scenario is generally possible in the next quarter-century. And even if it's not of the "Old South" style, slavery will come about through a combination of prejudices and laws that will, in essence, make certain groups of American humans property of a business or industry ― or religious entity.

Where have you been? Look up "for-profit prisons" or "prison-industrial complex."
 
2022-05-18 3:30:35 AM  
Cascadia is an independent entity from Pacifica.
 
2022-05-18 3:32:27 AM  

Huck And Molly Ziegler: AAAAGGGGHHHH:

No more Social Security. Slavery is made legal again. The Church of America is founded. Koch is made a Vicery of the US. And the smokestacks at the camps holding all the atheists and gays will be belching ashes 24/7

During this calendar year I have come around to thinking your scenario is generally possible in the next quarter-century. And even if it's not of the "Old South" style, slavery will come about through a combination of prejudices and laws that will, in essence, make certain groups of American humans property of a business or industry -- or religious entity.


Or as we call them right now, Amazon Fulfillment Centers.
 
2022-05-18 3:37:34 AM  

COMALite J: Don't Troll Me Bro!: COMALite J: red230: AAAAGGGGHHHH: hammettman: Hard to imagine that SecState is an appointed position and not an elected official.  Do they even require qualifications of any sort?

Scarier still, the SoS of that state certifies the election in 2024. A guy hand-picked by Mastriano could hand the state's EVs over to Trump "just cuz" no matter how many Pennsylvanians voted otherwise.

And we all know that's what their endgame is.

If they do that there's going to be blood on the streets.
No, their endgame is a Constitutional Convention. For that they need 2½ more state legislatures.

As I understand it, that would open up everything. I mean everything including whether a state wants to join the new union. It won't work out the way they think.
Not so. Say that Hawaii, California, Washington, and Oregon, and maybe New York and Massachusetts all refuse to ratify the new Godly Covenant of Gilead, Galt's Gulch. and the Order of the Organization. They secede and form new nations of Pacifica and New England, respectively. But Gilead of Galt's Gulch, empowered by the Order of the Organization, has the nukes, as does their patron Russia if it manages to survive the current situation long enough. They'd be conquered and brought in as subject territories, forever denied statehood.


Well, if becoming a pariah with radioactive wasteland along half your E and W borders, and hostile neighbors (because of the whole nuclear holocaust thing) on the N and S border is the destiny of the US, then fark that place forever. I don't think the people in the productive parts of the nation would be willing to be slaves to flyover Jesusland, even if that particular threat was looming.
 
2022-05-18 4:08:50 AM  

Don't Troll Me Bro!: COMALite J: Don't Troll Me Bro!: COMALite J: red230: AAAAGGGGHHHH: hammettman: Hard to imagine that SecState is an appointed position and not an elected official.  Do they even require qualifications of any sort?

Scarier still, the SoS of that state certifies the election in 2024. A guy hand-picked by Mastriano could hand the state's EVs over to Trump "just cuz" no matter how many Pennsylvanians voted otherwise.

And we all know that's what their endgame is.

If they do that there's going to be blood on the streets.
No, their endgame is a Constitutional Convention. For that they need 2½ more state legislatures.

As I understand it, that would open up everything. I mean everything including whether a state wants to join the new union. It won't work out the way they think.
Not so. Say that Hawaii, California, Washington, and Oregon, and maybe New York and Massachusetts all refuse to ratify the new Godly Covenant of Gilead, Galt's Gulch. and the Order of the Organization. They secede and form new nations of Pacifica and New England, respectively. But Gilead of Galt's Gulch, empowered by the Order of the Organization, has the nukes, as does their patron Russia if it manages to survive the current situation long enough. They'd be conquered and brought in as subject territories, forever denied statehood.

Well, if becoming a pariah with radioactive wasteland along half your E and W borders, and hostile neighbors (because of the whole nuclear holocaust thing) on the N and S border is the destiny of the US, then fark that place forever. I don't think the people in the productive parts of the nation would be willing to be slaves to flyover Jesusland, even if that particular threat was looming.


Plus, Trumptopia would be kinda screwed when it comes to ports. Even ignoring the fact that the big cities are often not very red even in red states, they'd be stuck with pretty much the Carolinas down to the Gulf coast. The entire West Coast would be cut off, and ditto for the Northeast, seriously limiting their foreign supply lines (if they can even make any foreign friends). Somehow, I don't see Mexico or Canada chomping at the bit to give money and support to New Jesusland either.

And of course, that's assuming the people in charge of pushing the nuke buttons actually follow orders to fire after the nation to which they swore their oaths has ceased to exist.

Oh, and if they get their way and the US effectively ceases to exist, a whole lot of rich people are gonna lose a shiatload of money, because the global reserve currency suddenly becoming worthless is gonna cause some problems.
 
2022-05-18 4:11:26 AM  

COMALite J: No, their endgame is a Constitutional Convention. For that they need 2½ more state legislatures.


That's what they need to CALL a convention. The threshold for calling a convention is lower than the threshold for ratifying one, though. It takes three-fourth's for them to ratifyanything that comes from the convention.
 
2022-05-18 4:15:07 AM  
if a nuclear war kills us all i won't even be mad about it
 
2022-05-18 4:18:01 AM  
He'll give the 5 dirtbag R Pols that got exactly 0.0 votes in the polls paid internships to suck each others dicks

/and he'll never w1n
 
2022-05-18 5:15:21 AM  
NOW can Pennsyltucky have our tag?
 
2022-05-18 5:46:56 AM  

Pincy: This is the Republican party now. Don't let any Fark independents try to tell you otherwise.


At this point, an independent is choosing to enable christofascists. They've made their choice to stand with the Nazis.
 
2022-05-18 6:27:35 AM  

Langdon_777: It is going to be interesting when all these ignorant GQPs have to do their jobs in red states, the Secretary of State has some specific roles to perform and if a GQP holds that position, then they are unlikely to perform it.


Meh. All I know is that even though the SoS runs the DMV in my state, the 4 hour long lines are Bidens fault
 
2022-05-18 6:36:05 AM  

Be polite walk on the right: He'll give the 5 dirtbag R Pols that got exactly 0.0 votes in the polls paid internships to suck each others dicks

/and he'll never w1n


A lot of people (including many people here on Fark) said that about Trump when he got the GOP nomination in 2016. They even were rooting for him to get the nomination becuase they said he had no chance. If you live in PA and don't want this guy to win, start getting everyone you know who feels the same way as you registered to vote now.
 
2022-05-18 6:47:58 AM  
President Biden kinda messed up when he started using "ultra-MAGA".  He should have made it clear that it was meant as a pejorative by adding "psycho" or "nutbag" or "pedophile" to the end, as in:

"C'mon, the crap these ultra-MAGA psycho pedophiles are spewing is malarkey!"
 
2022-05-18 6:51:38 AM  
Won the primary when most people voted against him. I wonder how this would have shaken out with an instant runoff system.
 
2022-05-18 7:20:01 AM  
Yes, the real story here is that a Republican candidate is a bigoted right wing lunatic.

There is no news value at all in reporting that in Pennsylvania, at least 584,220 people fully support the bigoted lunatic.
 
2022-05-18 7:34:08 AM  

hammettman: Hard to imagine that SecState is an appointed position and not an elected official.  Do they even require qualifications of any sort?


Why?  Honest question.  I mean, after all, cabinet members are appointed federally.  Why not at state level?
 
2022-05-18 7:39:20 AM  
My friends of italian descent Blanche at the epithets I use on this Nazi.
Then I say, well, it's all fair, considering what he calls, Jews, black people, and gays.

fark Nazis.
 
MFK
2022-05-18 7:39:25 AM  
When you spend all your time shiatting on Democrats for not being perfect, this is what you are enabling.

All you "progressives" should take a long hard look in the face of the future you are going to bring about by focusing all of your rage on the Democrats. Is this what you want?
 
2022-05-18 7:46:47 AM  
Mastriano should be in prison!
First he said he left before the storming of the capital then photos showed otherwise
Then he said he was not involved in the planning then photos showed otherwise
Then he said he did not go to the capital, then photos proved otherwise
Then he said he never crossed the barricades, the photos proved otherwise


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2022-05-18 8:01:34 AM  
No matter how far afield he may be, if he's on the ballot he can win. What I wonder about is what kind of chaos he'll try to cause if he loses, considering last time an election didn't go his way he partook in an actual insurrection.
 
2022-05-18 8:03:39 AM  

mrwhippy: Mastriano should be in prison!
First he said he left before the storming of the capital then photos showed otherwise
Then he said he was not involved in the planning then photos showed otherwise
Then he said he did not go to the capital, then photos proved otherwise
Then he said he never crossed the barricades, the photos proved otherwise


[Fark user image image 597x351][Fark user image image 611x481][Fark user image image 528x590][Fark user image image 850x637][Fark user image image 834x774]


Is it just me, or does "Doug Mastriano" sound like a euphemism for something one is not supposed to do in public?
 
2022-05-18 8:08:11 AM  

COMALite J: Don't Troll Me Bro!: COMALite J: red230: AAAAGGGGHHHH: hammettman: Hard to imagine that SecState is an appointed position and not an elected official.  Do they even require qualifications of any sort?

Scarier still, the SoS of that state certifies the election in 2024. A guy hand-picked by Mastriano could hand the state's EVs over to Trump "just cuz" no matter how many Pennsylvanians voted otherwise.

And we all know that's what their endgame is.

If they do that there's going to be blood on the streets.
No, their endgame is a Constitutional Convention. For that they need 2½ more state legislatures.

As I understand it, that would open up everything. I mean everything including whether a state wants to join the new union. It won't work out the way they think.
Not so. Say that Hawaii, California, Washington, and Oregon, and maybe New York and Massachusetts all refuse to ratify the new Godly Covenant of Gilead, Galt's Gulch. and the Order of the Organization. They secede and form new nations of Pacifica and New England, respectively. But Gilead of Galt's Gulch, empowered by the Order of the Organization, has the nukes, as does their patron Russia if it manages to survive the current situation long enough. They'd be conquered and brought in as subject territories, forever denied statehood.


Some weirdo wrote a novel about this (it's basically The Turner Diaries remake) and some, much saner, weirdo turned it into a strategy game in which you're trying to overthrow Gilead, starting from Chicago for whatever reason.

https://forums.sufficientvelocity.com/threads/victoria-falls-a-post-collapse-american-nation-quest-down-with-victoria.53790/

Some other weirdo (me) did the same with "Left Behind".

https://www.emlia.org/pmwiki/pub/web/LeftBeyond.TalesFromTheBeyond.html
 
2022-05-18 8:08:47 AM  

MFK: When you spend all your time shiatting on Democrats for not being perfect, this is what you are enabling.

All you "progressives" should take a long hard look in the face of the future you are going to bring about by focusing all of your rage on the Democrats. Is this what you want?


Hunh?  Mastriano winning the primary has nothing to do whatsoever with Democrats and everything to do with the fact that a huge percentage of PA is redder than Alabama.  No need to start a civil war over another party's nominee- I could have told you he'd win easily based on the endless yard signs for him here in Trumplandia.

Now if progressives decide that Shapiro just isn't exciting enough to bother to vote for *then* we can have the civil war.  Democrats need to show up in droves or PA will turn red forever- Mastriano and his minions will make sure election results are corrupted or just ignored

/Got a very bad feeling about this
 
2022-05-18 9:03:53 AM  

hammettman: Hard to imagine that SecState is an appointed position and not an elected official.  Do they even require qualifications of any sort?


For republicans obedience and a servile attitude to the governor.
 
2022-05-18 9:17:04 AM  
Glockenspiel Hero:
Hunh?  Mastriano winning the primary has nothing to do whatsoever with Democrats and everything to do with the fact that a huge percentage of PA is redder than Alabama.  No need to start a civil war over another party's nominee- I could have told you he'd win easily based on the endless yard signs for him here in Trumplandia.

I see this too.  Lost of small Mastriano signs partially covering up the bigger "TRUMP" signs that have been permanently affixed along the PA Turnpike in Pennsyltuckey.

Politically, PA is now what Ohio was a generation ago.  A generation from now it will also become a non-competitive red state.  The GOP is working on voter-suppression laws to make this happen immediately instead.
 
2022-05-18 9:31:14 AM  

nytmare: Pro-disease assholes have the majority in the PA legislature. If a MAGA asshole ever wins PA governor, it's all over.


Getting vaccinated and getting on with one's life does not make one a "pro-disease asshole".  We haven't forgotten how the Wolf administration botched the vaccine roll-out, sending people across state lines to get their shots.  Nor have we forgotten the fact that instead of mandating vaccines, he mandated masks, and repeatedly went President Madagascar on any businesses without the lobbyists to be deemed "essential".

A swing-state election can be swung by people who don't vote strictly along party lines.  People remember who shut down their kids' schools and farked up their lives.  If this election turns out to be a referendum on Tom Wolf's handling of the pandemic, his successor will lose.
 
2022-05-18 9:45:52 AM  

Glockenspiel Hero: Now if progressives decide that Shapiro just isn't exciting enough to bother to vote for *then* we can have the civil war. Democrats need to show up in droves or PA will turn red forever- Mastriano and his minions will make sure election results are corrupted or just ignored


If you wanted progressives to vote for another Democrat after Wolf you shouldn't have gone corporate.

1- While Republicans refused to pass anything that raised taxes on the wealthy, Wolf signed every regressive tax on the low and working class that came across his desk.
2- Wolf tried to make it seem like he wanted to give the workers on the front lines hazard pay of $2000 for working during a pandemic . But instead of giving it directly to the workers he made so the employers had to ask for the money. He knows that Pa. employers are scumbags and did this anyway.

Shapiro coming in to do the same things means he doesn't get my vote. If you want votes ,you need to act accordingly while in the office.
 
2022-05-18 9:57:22 AM  

OrangeSnapper: nytmare: Pro-disease assholes have the majority in the PA legislature. If a MAGA asshole ever wins PA governor, it's all over.

Getting vaccinated and getting on with one's life does not make one a "pro-disease asshole".  We haven't forgotten how the Wolf administration botched the vaccine roll-out, sending people across state lines to get their shots.  Nor have we forgotten the fact that instead of mandating vaccines, he mandated masks, and repeatedly went President Madagascar on any businesses without the lobbyists to be deemed "essential".

A swing-state election can be swung by people who don't vote strictly along party lines.  People remember who shut down their kids' schools and farked up their lives.  If this election turns out to be a referendum on Tom Wolf's handling of the pandemic, his successor will lose.


The Republicans in the PA legislature went out of their way to prevent the health department and the governor from acting on pandemic. They are anti-mask idiots who want to pretend the pandemic doesn't exist.

I got vaxed just fine right here in PA. The red counties had tons of available appointment slots.
 
2022-05-18 10:13:23 AM  
scontent-lga3-1.xx.fbcdn.netView Full Size
 
2022-05-18 10:23:59 AM  
sinner4ever Shapiro coming in to do the same things means he doesn't get my vote. If you want votes ,you need to act accordingly while in the office never deviate one iota from my political positions.

I certainly wouldn't want to vote for anyone who shares none of or barely any of my politics but I understand hardly any of these people share my entire worldview.

Shapiro is a democrat.  Mastriano participated in a coup.  This isn't a tough choice.
 
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