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(Walla Walla Union-Bulletin)   You know how hard it is to kill someone with a butter knife?   (union-bulletin.com) divider line
    More: Sick, Police, Sheriff, Christopher R. Calvert, Benton County, Washington, Crime, Kennewick, Washington, Constable, violent death of Clayton Wick  
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2204 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 May 2022 at 11:31 AM (12 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



49 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-05-17 10:32:22 AM  
Not that hard.
Trying going in through the eye socket or just under and behind the ear.

c.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2022-05-17 10:38:54 AM  
Let the cholesterol do its work.
 
2022-05-17 10:42:05 AM  
No, but I learnt how to defend myself against ban assailant armed with a banana.

images2.fanpop.comView Full Size
 
2022-05-17 11:32:33 AM  

Unobtanium: No, but I learnt how to defend myself against ban assailant armed with a banana.

[images2.fanpop.com image 200x150]


What about a pointed stick?
 
2022-05-17 11:34:35 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-05-17 11:34:51 AM  
People are terrifying
It was better when you psychos were all locked inside your homes
 
2022-05-17 11:35:35 AM  
Oh look what happens when you judge your self worth on having a job. Sweet.
 
2022-05-17 11:35:45 AM  
They should  try a rusty wooden spoon.
 
2022-05-17 11:36:03 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-05-17 11:38:35 AM  
"You know how hard it is to kill someone with a butter knife?" Not nearly as hard as using a plastic spork I would imagine!
 
2022-05-17 11:38:54 AM  

HighlanderRPI: [Fark user image 850x467]


There can be only one.
 
2022-05-17 11:38:54 AM  
Yes. Yes I do.
 
2022-05-17 11:40:01 AM  
There must be  million ways you could do that. You could fill up a plane with as many butter knives as it could hold and then fly high above the beach during spring break and dump out the knives . You could coat grandma favorite butter knife with polonium and wait for her to make toast.

A milion ways
 
2022-05-17 11:41:56 AM  

SpectroBoy: Not that hard.
Trying going in through the eye socket or just under and behind the ear.

[c.tenor.com image 320x240]


It can't be that hard to kill someone with a butter knife. Just get them to drop them butter knife
 
2022-05-17 11:42:49 AM  
Was it Cutco, because those things will jump out of the utensil drawer and slit your face?
 
2022-05-17 11:44:10 AM  

FloriduhGuy: "You know how hard it is to kill someone with a butter knife?" Not nearly as hard as using a plastic spork I would imagine!


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-05-17 11:45:35 AM  

FloriduhGuy: "You know how hard it is to kill someone with a butter knife?" Not nearly as hard as using a plastic spork I would imagine!


I'm not sure what's more farked up:
- that someone asked this question
- that someone answered it with specific steps
- that it got 4 likes
- that I googled 'murder weapon plastic spork' in the first place

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-05-17 11:46:09 AM  
You know how easy it is to kill someone with butter? Lots of it can cause a heart attack.
 
2022-05-17 11:46:47 AM  
Cream cheese spreaders are better.
End Credits Scene | Deadpool 2 (2018) Time Travel Funny Scene
Youtube lDrCCef6n-U
 
2022-05-17 11:48:00 AM  

Aar1012: SpectroBoy: Not that hard.
Trying going in through the eye socket or just under and behind the ear.

[c.tenor.com image 320x240]

It can't be that hard to kill someone with a butter knife. Just get them to drop them butter knife


What he was doing in my pajamas I'll never know!
 
2022-05-17 11:48:10 AM  
That's why I use a poop knife.
 
2022-05-17 11:50:45 AM  
Hitchcock said he filmed this scene specifically to show how difficult it is to kill a person. From Torn Curtain.


alfredhitchblog.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
 
2022-05-17 11:54:09 AM  

SpectroBoy: Not that hard.
Trying going in through the eye socket or just under and behind the ear.

[c.tenor.com image 320x240] [View Full Size image _x_]


Not even. As long as you have a mallet around anywhere not too bony is a good place to use it
 
2022-05-17 11:56:57 AM  
cutting meat with a butter knife is very rude !
 
2022-05-17 12:01:10 PM  
The arms industry is going after big butter because they don't need the competition. We will all have to spread our jam with the back of a spork that breaks if you eat anything tougher than consomee.

Fortunately we will have lots of guns and giant stockpiles of bullets to shoot someone who looks like they might be to blame for our having to eat french fries with our fingers because nothing is sharp enough to cut them, even our politicians and web influencers.
 
2022-05-17 12:02:13 PM  

blondambition: Hitchcock said he filmed this scene specifically to show how difficult it is to kill a person. From Torn Curtain.


[alfredhitchblog.files.wordpress.com image 850x478]


I recognize George Bush Jr., but who's the woman trying to kill him? I didn't know he had an ex-wife.
 
2022-05-17 12:02:31 PM  
Must be Laura.
 
2022-05-17 12:07:12 PM  
Did you ever go to make a pork sausage and find it's got hairs all over it?
 
2022-05-17 12:11:10 PM  
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"He was arrested in Wick's car in Skamania County on Thursday"

24 HEAVY SKANKING TRACKS!
 
2022-05-17 12:17:04 PM  
What if the sporks are on the end of a foot?
 
2022-05-17 12:17:38 PM  

lifeslammer: SpectroBoy: Not that hard.
Trying going in through the eye socket or just under and behind the ear.

[c.tenor.com image 320x240] [View Full Size image _x_]

Not even. As long as you have a mallet around anywhere not too bony is a good place to use it


Check out Mr money bags with his fancy  mallet.
 
2022-05-17 12:19:02 PM  
It's a lot easier than spreading butter evenly with a 9mm.
 
2022-05-17 12:33:05 PM  
what? no crocodile dundee references?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dSnosk4tWrg
 
2022-05-17 12:37:10 PM  

mikaloyd: There must be  million ways you could do that. You could fill up a plane with as many butter knives as it could hold and then fly high above the beach during spring break and dump out the knives . You could coat grandma favorite butter knife with polonium and wait for her to make toast.

A milion ways


Terminal velocity means the plane dropping idea would only suck hard.

I don't think butter knifes are aerodynamicly stable. Maybe if you added fins to them like an arrow?
 
2022-05-17 12:48:01 PM  
That reminds me of a True Detective-type magazine cover I saw many years ago (which I can't find online, darn it). A scantily-clad woman was show killed by a butter knife sticking out of her stomach.
 
2022-05-17 12:57:45 PM  
It is exceptionally easy to kill someone with a butter knife. Just shoot them.  It doesn't really matter what they are holding.
 
2022-05-17 1:02:00 PM  
FTFA: Calvert, the alleged killer, had grabbed Wick's wallet, took stuff out of his garage and finally drove away in Wick's Honda CRV, said investigators.
Smarter than that Iosef Tarasof joker, at least - offed him, and didn't kill the guy's dog.

/All this time, and no Wick refs? Fark, I am disappoint.
 
2022-05-17 1:04:14 PM  
Yes. Yes I do.
 
2022-05-17 1:24:41 PM  

Hooferatheart: What if the sporks are on the end of a foot?


It will get Greened in the poltab
 
2022-05-17 1:25:05 PM  

Stud Gerbil: FloriduhGuy: "You know how hard it is to kill someone with a butter knife?" Not nearly as hard as using a plastic spork I would imagine!

[Fark user image 320x180]


Always fun in that scene where the criminal has to tell Chief Miles O'Brien what a wrench is!
 
2022-05-17 1:26:22 PM  
Yes, but I'm not supposed to talk about it.
 
2022-05-17 1:32:40 PM  

Iamos: [Fark user image 640x660]


...signature?
 
2022-05-17 1:35:19 PM  
Butter Face
 
2022-05-17 2:19:24 PM  

brantgoose: blondambition: Hitchcock said he filmed this scene specifically to show how difficult it is to kill a person. From Torn Curtain.


[alfredhitchblog.files.wordpress.com image 850x478]

I recognize George Bush Jr., but who's the woman trying to kill him? I didn't know he had an ex-wife.


Lol, Paul Newman and Julie Andrews.
 
2022-05-17 2:23:19 PM  
Done in one
 
2022-05-17 2:45:58 PM  
The Chronicles of Riddick - Death by Teacup Scene (6/10) | Movieclips
Youtube RmqqNrg2cKg
 
2022-05-17 2:56:40 PM  

kdawg7736: You know how easy it is to kill someone with butter? Lots of it can cause a heart attack.


Yes, but butter is no longer implicated as a cause of heart disease, so you'll have to use it to butter the top of the stairs and the banister. This will not work if you have dogs.
 
2022-05-17 3:53:11 PM  

FloriduhGuy: "You know how hard it is to kill someone with a butter knife?" Not nearly as hard as using a plastic spork I would imagine!


Spork thread!
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-05-17 7:57:10 PM  
Buy a knife sharpener?
 
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