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(Metro)   Man says he has been abducted by aliens 60 times and forced fight in their army. I AM LRRR, RULER OF THE PLANET OMICRON PERSEI 8   (metro.co.uk) divider line
    More: Unlikely, Time, Race, Unidentified flying object, Posttraumatic stress disorder, Chronic fatigue syndrome, Mr Kellett, Russ Kellett claims, 58-year-old  
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405 clicks; posted to STEM » on 16 May 2022 at 6:05 PM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



24 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-05-16 4:53:49 PM  
You'd think that after about the 20th abduction, he'd just stay. You know, really cut out the hassle and just submit to your new alien overlords...
 
2022-05-16 5:03:16 PM  
Their interest in humans only extends to experiments of a sexual nature, and butt stuff.
 
2022-05-16 5:07:30 PM  
Or, at least see a doctor about Sleep Paralysis

Tell your doctor if Sleep Paralysis is right for you
 
2022-05-16 5:12:29 PM  
c.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2022-05-16 5:38:36 PM  
Rented-a-tent-a-tent-a-tent! Rented-a-rented-a-tent!
/obscure?
//or prophetic?
///next up- see the cat? See the cradle?
 
2022-05-16 5:48:48 PM  
15 foot aliens come to Earth, abduct one super-soldier and leave. And super-shorty (at least to them) doesn't even get a scratch. Ok...
 
2022-05-16 6:11:37 PM  
He also stated he has done acid 60 times, but those numbers are just a coincidence.
 
2022-05-16 6:13:27 PM  
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Dumbass. That's not an alien. It's a luchador.
 
2022-05-16 6:31:46 PM  
Whitley Strieber has a new book out?

/rtfa, who does that?
 
2022-05-16 6:36:21 PM  

SBinRR: [Fark user image 850x566]

Dumbass. That's not an alien. It's a luchador.


Maybe luchadors are aliens.  Maybe they were all along!

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-05-16 7:00:37 PM  
Story checks out

i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2022-05-16 7:30:24 PM  
He said: 'I've been gone for years and people don't realise, as four hours here is four years on one of the planets I've been to.'

Ah, the Picard's Flute factor.
 
2022-05-16 7:44:54 PM  
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433 [TotalFark]
2022-05-16 7:49:31 PM  
I'm actually surprised this doesn't happen more often, considering how many people live on earth.
 
2022-05-16 8:14:47 PM  

Somaticasual: You'd think that after about the 20th abduction, he'd just stay. You know, really cut out the hassle and just submit to your new alien overlords...


He's not really here for the gladiating
 
2022-05-16 8:33:28 PM  
That guy is lucky...I got abducted into their mating pens over 100 times.

Now I am on the hook for all that child support.
 
2022-05-16 9:11:54 PM  
My first wife liked to shut up!
 
2022-05-16 9:16:50 PM  
didn;t Robert Heinlein write that story?
 
2022-05-16 9:28:54 PM  
'I went through a tunnel that I'd never seen before, and the next thing I knew, I was in what looked like a dentist surgery, with 15ft tall alien men, that look very much like Dracula without the sharp teeth, surrounding me.'

  See, this how you know it's crazy BS. How the hell would a 58 year old Briton have any idea what the inside of a dental office would look like.
 
2022-05-16 9:58:07 PM  
Did he beat a video game before aliens abducted him?
 
2022-05-16 10:14:52 PM  
Probed 60 times? He's not just here for the abduction.
 
2022-05-16 11:09:39 PM  
I had some sort of tube pushed down my throat, and whatever liquid they pumped into me, it turned me into one of their super soldiers.

metro.co.ukView Full Size


Captain Britain doesn't look anything like the comics.
 
2022-05-17 1:16:51 AM  
Okay, but really, why is he in the paper instead of a psych ward?
 
2022-05-17 9:41:19 AM  

AstroJesus: He said: 'I've been gone for years and people don't realise, as four hours here is four years on one of the planets I've been to.'

Ah, the Picard's Flute factor.


I was going to make another Vanishing Point about Star Trek.
 
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