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(Inside the Magic)   Disney to Johnny Depp: Your life is a shait-burger right now. So no more Jack Sparrow for you   (insidethemagic.net) divider line
    More: Obvious, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, Johnny Depp, Captain Jack Sparrow, Walt Disney Company, Depp's official replacement, legendary actor Johnny Depp  
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2072 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 16 May 2022 at 12:20 PM (12 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2022-05-16 11:18:53 AM  
So no Pirates of the Caribbean 6: The Curse of Johnny Depp's Alimony Payments?
 
2022-05-16 11:21:58 AM  
This is really sad. I would not be surprised if JD goes the way of his friend Hunter S.T.
 
2022-05-16 11:23:37 AM  
Too bad the person who Johnny Depp supposedly based his Jack Sparrow characterization on is too old for the part.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-05-16 11:29:28 AM  
Maybe they can get Pauly Shore.
 
2022-05-16 11:46:27 AM  
Well, there goes my idea for a movie about Jack Sparrow playing a surragate father to his wild little brother.

I had the part of his litle borther all cast with Russell Brand and from the looks of things, somebody already had his Old Dad cast with Keith Richards. Best Pirates of the Caribbean movie evar.

Seriously.

Now that movie goes to wherever movies never made go (back into my dreams) and will never be made in the Worst of All Time Lines.

But somewhere out there in the Megaverse, it was made and it was great.k

But in this Universe, Russell Brand has become a conspiriarch and left wing looney.

I just invented that word. Felicitous typo as the French would say if only they would take notes.
 
2022-05-16 11:47:19 AM  
Russelll Brand was born to play litte borther I am the typo monger that keeps on giving.
 
2022-05-16 11:47:36 AM  
They're gonna do either a Asian 'pirate king'. (And yes there were asian pirates) or more of the 'red headed female pirate' ....and yes there were female priates.

The 50's...early visions of pirates were the 'politically correct" ones.
When in history...females. Were pirates.
Anne Bonny for example...who was in a group marriage with her same sex lover Mary Reed and a Captain "Jack" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anne_Bonny
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-05-16 11:47:40 AM  

browneye: Too bad the person who Johnny Depp supposedly based his Jack Sparrow characterization on is too old for the part.

[Fark user image 163x310]


aka Dear Old Dad.
 
2022-05-16 11:50:44 AM  
Jerry Bruckheimer confirms that they are developing a script for a 'PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN' film, starring Margot Robbie.

For a brief second I dared dream that Margot Robbie would be the new pirate lead.
 
2022-05-16 11:56:11 AM  

SpectroBoy: Jerry Bruckheimer confirms that they are developing a script for a 'PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN' film, starring Margot Robbie.



That's a dang good move for Disney. Not only is more "Historically Correct" with a female pirate. (see my above references to Anne Boney and Mary Reed)
It's a marketing genesis...opening up permission to little girls buy pirate outfits and sword fights.
They literally just doubled their market there. And became "Historically Correct"
 
2022-05-16 12:24:16 PM  

optikeye: SpectroBoy: Jerry Bruckheimer confirms that they are developing a script for a 'PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN' film, starring Margot Robbie.


That's a dang good move for Disney. Not only is more "Historically Correct" with a female pirate. (see my above references to Anne Boney and Mary Reed)
It's a marketing genesis...opening up permission to little girls buy pirate outfits and sword fights.
They literally just doubled their market there. And became "Historically Correct"


Also hopefully an uptick in "sexy pirate lady" the best Halloween consume.
 
2022-05-16 12:26:29 PM  

optikeye: SpectroBoy: Jerry Bruckheimer confirms that they are developing a script for a 'PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN' film, starring Margot Robbie.


That's a dang good move for Disney. Not only is more "Historically Correct" with a female pirate. (see my above references to Anne Boney and Mary Reed)
It's a marketing genesis...opening up permission to little girls buy pirate outfits and sword fights.
They literally just doubled their market there. And became "Historically Correct"


Yeah, that was always my problem with those movies. If you want your movies about pirate curses, walking skeletons, fish-people, and magic treasure to be historically accurate, you can't have male pirates. Who ever heard of a male pirate?
 
2022-05-16 12:28:09 PM  
Theres only one person fit for this role

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-05-16 12:28:29 PM  

optikeye: They're gonna do either a Asian 'pirate king'. (And yes there were asian pirates) or more of the 'red headed female pirate' ....and yes there were female priates.

The 50's...early visions of pirates were the 'politically correct" ones.
When in history...females. Were pirates.
Anne Bonny for example...who was in a group marriage with her same sex lover Mary Reed and a Captain "Jack" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anne_Bonny
[Fark user image image 262x400]


You had me at red headed female
 
2022-05-16 12:29:06 PM  
If he hadn't just played a great pirate, Taiki Watiti (I'm too lazy to look up spelling)
 
2022-05-16 12:30:06 PM  
They should do one with Amber Heard. "Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Brown Pearl"

/that's a poop joke
 
2022-05-16 12:31:40 PM  
I'm pretty sure I read he didn't want to do a Pirates movie anymore. So this isn't a loss for him.
 
2022-05-16 12:35:27 PM  

brantgoose: Russelll Brand was born to play litte borther I am the typo monger that keeps on giving.


Russell is farking crazy too.
 
2022-05-16 12:35:59 PM  

optikeye: SpectroBoy: Jerry Bruckheimer confirms that they are developing a script for a 'PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN' film, starring Margot Robbie.


That's a dang good move for Disney. Not only is more "Historically Correct" with a female pirate. (see my above references to Anne Boney and Mary Reed)
It's a marketing genesis...opening up permission to little girls buy pirate outfits and sword fights.
They literally just doubled their market there. And became "Historically Correct"


Plus Margot Robbie

external-content.duckduckgo.comView Full Size
 
2022-05-16 12:36:16 PM  
I'm pretty sure Michael Bolton has shown he could play the role of Jack Sparrow.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-05-16 12:38:23 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

So, a cheesy Anne Bonny ripoff?
 
2022-05-16 12:38:40 PM  
The more recent movies still wouldn't have been good without him, but they would've been better. Captain Jack's schtick got old quick and trying to connect the movies to something to do with him just made the plots dumber than they already were.
 
2022-05-16 12:43:34 PM  

Chemlight Battery: They should do one with Amber Heard. "Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Brown Pearl"

/that's a poop joke


They would film it on the poop deck.
 
2022-05-16 12:45:20 PM  
When Farkers post that they don't care who wins the Depp/Heard war and they both are awful, they have my disagreement.

But I'll say right now I don't care who gets cast for Pirates Of The Caribbean 6, and the movie can die in development hell for all I care.
 
2022-05-16 12:46:57 PM  
external-preview.redd.itView Full Size
 
2022-05-16 12:49:38 PM  
At a time like this, there's only one thing to do:  tear out to the desert in a Dodge Challenger, get a shovel out of your trunk, dig a hole, and then throw in your necklace for some reason.
 
2022-05-16 12:57:09 PM  

optikeye: They're gonna do either a Asian 'pirate king'. (And yes there were asian pirates) or more of the 'red headed female pirate' ....and yes there were female priates.

The 50's...early visions of pirates were the 'politically correct" ones.
When in history...females. Were pirates.
Anne Bonny for example...who was in a group marriage with her same sex lover Mary Reed and a Captain "Jack" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anne_Bonny
[Fark user image 262x400]


Nah, Asian Pirate Queen all the way.
 
2022-05-16 1:01:07 PM  
I have not been following the trial. Is it looking bad for him?
 
2022-05-16 1:02:48 PM  

gunga galunga: I have not been following the trial. Is it looking bad for him?


From what I've read, they're both f*cking psychotic. This is not good for either of them.
 
2022-05-16 1:03:38 PM  

optikeye: They're gonna do either a Asian 'pirate king'. (And yes there were asian pirates) or more of the 'red headed female pirate' ....and yes there were female priates.

The 50's...early visions of pirates were the 'politically correct" ones.
When in history...females. Were pirates.
Anne Bonny for example...who was in a group marriage with her same sex lover Mary Reed and a Captain "Jack" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anne_Bonny
[Fark user image image 262x400]


Were there also Jewish pirates? Big guys who were great shots and spent money freely?
 
2022-05-16 1:06:28 PM  

gunga galunga: I have not been following the trial. Is it looking bad for him?


They're both mother farkin' crazy. So it's a coin-toss.
 
2022-05-16 1:13:30 PM  
They don't NEED another Jack Sparrow. They can just make up a new pirate. Literally anyone can play a crazy pirate. Go in an entirely different direction, get John C. Reilly to base a pirate off his Dr. Brule character:

Doctor to Doctor with Dr. Boden | Check It Out! With Dr. Steve Brule | Adult Swim
Youtube tzSEd7e6tdc
 
2022-05-16 1:14:33 PM  
Pirates of the Caribbean: The search for Jack Sparrow. Or, The Legend of Jack Sparrow.

Now you've got the character in the movie, but the character isn't in the movie.
 
2022-05-16 1:17:18 PM  
Also weren't the pirates movies getting a little stale? New blood might do it good.
 
2022-05-16 1:19:21 PM  
It's funny how Depp's currently in court saying Heard's op-ed ruined his career and we have articles like this basically confirming that it, at the very least, appears to have ruined his career. 


Also, funny that they think Depp wants anything to do with Disney after they basically dumped him like hot garbage.
 
2022-05-16 1:22:34 PM  

I know a guy: I'm pretty sure Michael Bolton has shown he could play the role of Jack Sparrow.

[Fark user image 259x194]


I wouldn't mind a few shorts where Michael Bolton parodies roles as Michael Bolton's take on the roles.
 
2022-05-16 1:35:05 PM  

Lsherm: They don't NEED another Jack Sparrow. They can just make up a new pirate. Literally anyone can play a crazy pirate. Go in an entirely different direction, get John C. Reilly to base a pirate off his Dr. Brule character:

[Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/tzSEd7e6tdc]


they could just not make any more period.  by my count there are at least 5 worthless PoTC movies so far.
 
2022-05-16 1:44:10 PM  

browneye: Too bad the person who Johnny Depp supposedly based his Jack Sparrow characterization on is too old for the part.

[Fark user image image 163x310]


He played Jack's dad in one of the movies.
 
2022-05-16 1:50:28 PM  
oh wow and the world totally needed pirates of the same farking shiat number xxxxxx
 
2022-05-16 1:53:50 PM  
seen outside the courtroom
This impersonation of Jack Sparrow is on point 😂😂
Youtube H3XxJEtzo7E
 
2022-05-16 2:02:53 PM  

SpectroBoy: Jerry Bruckheimer confirms that they are developing a script for a 'PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN' film, starring Margot Robbie.

For a brief second I dared dream that Margot Robbie would be the new pirate lead.


Have Margot reboot this:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-05-16 2:05:00 PM  

Space Station Wagon: Also weren't the pirates movies getting a little stale? New blood might do it good.


If they can get away with as many Fast and the Furious movies as they have the POTC is perfectly within its rights to get into double digits before hanging it up.

....I'm not saying they should, but there are franchises with weaker premises and even weaker characters than it that have continued.
 
2022-05-16 2:12:57 PM  

optikeye: They're gonna do either a Asian 'pirate king'. (And yes there were asian pirates) or more of the 'red headed female pirate' ....and yes there were female priates.

The 50's...early visions of pirates were the 'politically correct" ones.
When in history...females. Were pirates.
Anne Bonny for example...who was in a group marriage with her same sex lover Mary Reed and a Captain "Jack" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anne_Bonny
[Fark user image 262x400]


Ok, maybe I could get behind a soft reboot of the series that follows the "redhead" from the ride that went from concubine for sale to pirate queen.  Maybe they could play with that transformation as part of the movie.

/we wants the redhead!
//see the hairy leg
///three slashies
 
2022-05-16 2:32:05 PM  

optikeye: SpectroBoy: Jerry Bruckheimer confirms that they are developing a script for a 'PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN' film, starring Margot Robbie.


That's a dang good move for Disney. Not only is more "Historically Correct" with a female pirate. (see my above references to Anne Boney and Mary Reed)
It's a marketing genesis...opening up permission to little girls buy pirate outfits and sword fights.
They literally just doubled their market there. And became "Historically Correct"


You know they've already included female pirates in the Pirates of the Caribbean series, right?
 
2022-05-16 2:37:04 PM  
This comes weeks after he said in court that he had no plans of ever working for those POSs on any more POTCs
 
2022-05-16 2:37:37 PM  
So, Depp's lawyers submit this in his favor?
 
2022-05-16 2:42:15 PM  

Coach McGirk: optikeye: They're gonna do either a Asian 'pirate king'. (And yes there were asian pirates) or more of the 'red headed female pirate' ....and yes there were female priates.

The 50's...early visions of pirates were the 'politically correct" ones.
When in history...females. Were pirates.
Anne Bonny for example...who was in a group marriage with her same sex lover Mary Reed and a Captain "Jack" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anne_Bonny
[Fark user image image 262x400]

Were there also Jewish pirates? Big guys who were great shots and spent money freely?


https://books.google.com/books/about/Jewish_Pirates_of_the_Caribbean.html?id=a4iGofxr2zYC#v=onepage&q&f=false

Yes
 
2022-05-16 2:53:13 PM  

lefthanded bastard: optikeye: SpectroBoy: Jerry Bruckheimer confirms that they are developing a script for a 'PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN' film, starring Margot Robbie.


That's a dang good move for Disney. Not only is more "Historically Correct" with a female pirate. (see my above references to Anne Boney and Mary Reed)
It's a marketing genesis...opening up permission to little girls buy pirate outfits and sword fights.
They literally just doubled their market there. And became "Historically Correct"

You know they've already included female pirates in the Pirates of the Caribbean series, right?


Yeah...but you STILL get incels freaking out about the redhead female in Disney Pirates of Caribbean..."OMG DISNEY IS JUST BEING SO POLITICALLY CORRECT" when the update is historically correct.
 
2022-05-16 2:57:29 PM  

SpectroBoy: Jerry Bruckheimer confirms that they are developing a script for a 'PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN' film, starring Margot Robbie.

For a brief second I dared dream that Margot Robbie would be the new pirate lead.


What was that high budget Vivid Pirate video?
 
2022-05-16 3:00:14 PM  

SirDigbyChickenCaesar: SpectroBoy: Jerry Bruckheimer confirms that they are developing a script for a 'PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN' film, starring Margot Robbie.

For a brief second I dared dream that Margot Robbie would be the new pirate lead.

Have Margot reboot this:

[Fark user image image 480x360]


i.kym-cdn.comView Full Size
 
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