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(Riverfront Times)   Nothing says today's GOP like a candidate wrapping his Escalade with a photo of him committing a crime   (riverfronttimes.com) divider line
    More: Dumbass, Automobile, Walking, Voting, Senate hopeful Mark McCloskey, local man, Senate candidate, crowd of people, Running  
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6685 clicks; posted to Politics » on 16 May 2022 at 2:35 PM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



99 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2022-05-16 11:45:17 AM  
He's performing badly because he only threatenedto shoot unarmed protesters.

Today's Rittenhouse GOP prefers action. Obviously, this guy lacks commitment.
 
2022-05-16 12:22:29 PM  
Have to admit, he's committed to his brand.
 
2022-05-16 12:58:20 PM  

hubiestubert: Have to admit, he's committed to his brand.


gregorybknapp.comView Full Size
 
2022-05-16 1:42:42 PM  
Oh, him.
 
2022-05-16 1:43:08 PM  
Public office is a job, people we elect should be able to do actual work.

/incitement of a mob is not actual work
 
2022-05-16 2:38:04 PM  
There is nothing more to the GOP than:

Our side: Good
Not our side: Bad

Applying any reasoning beyond that is an exercise in futility.
 
2022-05-16 2:38:37 PM  
What we call "crimes", they call free publicity.
 
2022-05-16 2:38:54 PM  
I mean....it worked for Donald....
 
2022-05-16 2:39:02 PM  
Nothing says "Law and Order" party like using your criminal activities to advertise your campaign.
 
2022-05-16 2:39:39 PM  
It's only a crime if there's an arrest and a conviction. Otherwise they're mere suggestions.
 
2022-05-16 2:39:59 PM  
I'm a bit disappointed. This is what I imagine when I hear that someone wrapped their car:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-05-16 2:40:37 PM  
Did he at least pay someone to photoshop away his wife's mustard stains?
 
2022-05-16 2:40:39 PM  
According to recent internal polling released by the Greitens campaign, McCloskey is trailing dramatically in the GOP primary race, winning the votes of just five percent of surveyed voters. That tracks with information released by the partisan polling company the Trafalgar Group, whose March report also showed McCloskey at the bottom of the pack of ghouls running for the nomination.

Some onlookers might suggest that McCloskey's dismal performance could be due to the fact that he has put forth no policy ideas aside from Gun, that he seems to have no qualifications to run for public office other than Gun, and that even all of his neighbors hate him and have long before Gun. But those people would be overlooking just how passionate Missouri voters are about Gun, leading to an inevitable conclusion: McCloskey is just a loser, and a deeply unlikable man.


Heh.
 
2022-05-16 2:40:47 PM  

AlgaeRancher: Public office is a job, people we elect should be able to do actual work.

/incitement of a mob is not actual work


It can take MONTHS to properly incite a mob.........

/ you just have to repeat the same thing constantly
 
2022-05-16 2:42:25 PM  

Weatherkiss: It's only a crime if there's an arrest and a conviction. Otherwise they're mere suggestions.


They plead guilty to a misdemeanor, but were then pardoned by the governor. Wave a gun at the next police march and see if it gives similar results.
 
2022-05-16 2:43:52 PM  
Aaaah, I submitted this the other day..

I think I saw one yard sign for this assclown alongside I-270 the other week.  Of course it was put up where no one lives and can object to it.
 
2022-05-16 2:44:11 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


McCloskey, McCroskey, whatever.
 
2022-05-16 2:44:36 PM  

AlgaeRancher: Public office is a job, people we elect should be able to do actual work.

/incitement of a mob is not actual work


Yeah, well campaigning is a job too, and a very well-paying one if you do it right.

Per FEC rules you can actually pay yourself Senator wages for just being part of the campaign:
The candidate may receive a salary from his or her campaign committee...[but] must not exceed the lesser of the minimum annual salary for the federal office sought or the earned income that candidate received during the year prior to becoming a candidate;

And, importantly for his wife:
Campaign funds may be used to make salary payments to members of the candidate's family only if:
The family member is providing a bona fide service to the campaign; and
The payments reflect the fair market value of those services.


So, you can quit your job and become a full-time campaigner, paying yourself your former salary out of donor funds. On top of that, you can pay your wife to be a "Public Relations VP" or whatever with a fat 6-figure salary. Do this for 2022, then run again in 2024, then again in 2026, each time paying yourself, and you'll never have to work again. The only thing you need is contributions from dark money groups and Russians.
 
jbc [TotalFark]
2022-05-16 2:44:44 PM  

Weatherkiss: It's only a crime if there's an arrest and a conviction. Otherwise they're mere suggestions.


Like this?
 
2022-05-16 2:46:54 PM  
And they wrote off this personal vehicle as a campaign expense.
 
2022-05-16 2:47:35 PM  
That will be what the Buffalo shooter does in 4 years probably. Some farkers we've seen post in the last couple days will eat that shiat up and vote for him.
 
2022-05-16 2:49:02 PM  

fiddlehead: According to recent internal polling released by the Greitens campaign, McCloskey is trailing dramatically in the GOP primary race, winning the votes of just five percent of surveyed voters. That tracks with information released by the partisan polling company the Trafalgar Group, whose March report also showed McCloskey at the bottom of the pack of ghouls running for the nomination.

Some onlookers might suggest that McCloskey's dismal performance could be due to the fact that he has put forth no policy ideas aside from Gun, that he seems to have no qualifications to run for public office other than Gun, and that even all of his neighbors hate him and have long before Gun. But those people would be overlooking just how passionate Missouri voters are about Gun, leading to an inevitable conclusion: McCloskey is just a loser, and a deeply unlikable man.

Heh.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-05-16 2:49:24 PM  
unhinged lunatic turned convicted criminal turned failing Senate candidate

I'm sorry, can you be more specific?
 
2022-05-16 2:50:25 PM  

jbc: Weatherkiss: It's only a crime if there's an arrest and a conviction. Otherwise they're mere suggestions.

Like this?


I stand corrected.
 
2022-05-16 2:51:06 PM  
Article writer "doing" literature disservice
 
2022-05-16 2:51:30 PM  
Terrorists are going to advertise their acts of terrorism.
 
2022-05-16 2:51:40 PM  

fragMasterFlash: Did he at least pay someone to photoshop away his wife's mustard stains?


Not mustard and his urologist appointment is on Friday.
 
2022-05-16 2:52:26 PM  

jbc: Weatherkiss: It's only a crime if there's an arrest and a conviction. Otherwise they're mere suggestions.

Like this?


Why would a lawyer accept a plea deal?  Does his law school have two grades on tests :  One for answering and filling in the "show your work" section, and the other "I take a plea deal and won't say whether I even studied for this test.  Just mark me present.  That should be worth a 75."
 
2022-05-16 2:52:57 PM  
America's favorite unhinged lunatic

Sorry.  I don't remember a vote on this.  My vote goes to Traitor Tot until his dealer stops dealing him credit and demands payment.

There's a pretty wide field for this category is what I'm saying.  Regional Favorite Unhinged Lunatic?  He still has some competition.  It's Missouri, after all.
 
2022-05-16 2:55:32 PM  
"Some onlookers might suggest that McCloskey's dismal performance could be due to the fact that he has put forth no policy ideas aside from Gun, that he seems to have no qualifications to run for public office other than Gun, and that even all of his neighbors hate him and have long before Gun. "

Seems like a pretty solid starting point for a Republican candidate. Why is he losing? Did he take it for granted the GOP would recognize racist bonafides from waving a gun at BLM protesters so didn't sell that hard enough? Or is he falling short because there aren't any domestic violence or rape allegations against him to boost his conservative credentials? I haven't been following his campaign but maybe he could go on stage claiming to hear voices in his head urging him to commit mass violence to sell his campaign better to the religious lunatics.
 
2022-05-16 2:57:12 PM  
Oh, it's that guy
 
2022-05-16 2:58:42 PM  

UltimaCS: I'm a bit disappointed. This is what I imagine when I hear that someone wrapped their car:
[Fark user image 425x255]


Fark user imageView Full Size

Wanted for questioning
 
2022-05-16 3:00:28 PM  
Headline does not cut the mustard.
 
2022-05-16 3:01:59 PM  
I have to applaud this newspaper for putting the actual photo of the thing at the top of the article instead of a video about some other thing

media1.riverfronttimes.comView Full Size


//fark this guy
//yes pointing a gun at somebody without firing it is "assault"
//assault is a crime
//battery is when you actually shoot them
//this has been your 1L criminal law tip of the week
 
2022-05-16 3:02:13 PM  
"AH'M A SCARED WHITE MAN JEST LAHK YOU!"
 
2022-05-16 3:02:56 PM  
It turns out that "Let's go brandishing" all by itself isn't enough to win you an election, even a GOP one.
 
2022-05-16 3:03:33 PM  
I'll bet he didn't pay for the photo, either.
 
2022-05-16 3:04:11 PM  

scanman61: unhinged lunatic turned convicted criminal turned failing Senate candidate

I'm sorry, can you be more specific?


You know - the middle-aged white guy?
 
2022-05-16 3:04:19 PM  

nytmare: It turns out that "Let's go brandishing" all by itself isn't enough to win you an election, even a GOP one.


I just realized that I've never brandished anything.  I need to brandish before I die.
 
2022-05-16 3:05:33 PM  

scanman61: unhinged lunatic turned convicted criminal turned failing Senate candidate

I'm sorry, can you be more specific?


I guess "gun fetishist" won't help either.
 
2022-05-16 3:07:40 PM  
i.kym-cdn.comView Full Size
 
2022-05-16 3:10:56 PM  
Fight on, roly poly  warrior.
 
2022-05-16 3:15:58 PM  
You've got a little mustard on your Escalade.
 
2022-05-16 3:18:39 PM  

moothemagiccow: I have to applaud this newspaper for putting the actual photo of the thing at the top of the article instead of a video about some other thing

[media1.riverfronttimes.com image 660x509]

//fark this guy
//yes pointing a gun at somebody without firing it is "assault"
//assault is a crime
//battery is when you actually shoot them
//this has been your 1L criminal law tip of the week


The gun paid the crime and he went out and got a new gun.  Just imagine, poor Blasty in lockup hoping for his owner to come and get him not knowing that his owner got a new Blasty.

Then come the day when strange hands take him out of lock up and Blasty thinks he's going home!  But after a long ride in the trunk, he arrives at the smelter and he's flung in to the molten death wondering what he did wrong.

Sorry.  It's getting dusty in here.
 
2022-05-16 3:21:06 PM  
I have no taste, vote for me!
 
2022-05-16 3:21:24 PM  

Rapmaster2000: nytmare: It turns out that "Let's go brandishing" all by itself isn't enough to win you an election, even a GOP one.

I just realized that I've never brandished anything.  I need to brandish before I die.


Finger Pistols - You were promised a gun, that much is certain. This is why you became a cop. Yet here you are, loitering around with idle hands like some sorry-ass loser from the street. Suddenly you're supposed to be solving cases by, what, like, *talking* to people? How are they going to believe that you can protect yourself -- and them -- from savages without a firearm?! This ain't right. You need to think *around* this problem. And you need to snap your fingers at people as you do.
 
2022-05-16 3:23:20 PM  

WickerNipple: hubiestubert: Have to admit, he's committed to his brand.

[gregorybknapp.com image 500x400]


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-05-16 3:23:47 PM  
s.yimg.comView Full Size
 
2022-05-16 3:28:47 PM  
Cancel GOP
 
2022-05-16 3:28:47 PM  
1). I'm not a fan of dumbing down campaigns for the electorate because that just exacerbates the long slide to Idiocracy.

2. This guy seems to be doing a stellar job of sinking his own ship without any help from the left.

3. It would nonetheless be satisfying on a primal, lizard-brained level to see Dem opponents of the completely crazy MAGA ilk wrap their own vehicles in messages like "McCloskey is a whiny little biatch. Real men don't need guns." or something similar just to get a predictable hissy fit out of them.
 
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