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(KIRO-7 Seattle)   The only thing worse than going ATM is a smash-and-grab ATM robbery. The only thing worse than that is doing is sixty times   (kiro7.com) divider line
    More: Sick, Felony, Theft, Crime, Robbery, Criminal law, old Branden Christopher Cerna, KIRO-TV, Burglary  
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2810 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 May 2022 at 11:35 AM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



49 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-05-16 11:00:39 AM  
Wait until they discover it's quicker with a JCB - backhoe in US-land I think. Used to be sooooo frequent in the UK but since trackers were put on the machines, they have faded back a bit.
 
2022-05-16 11:22:37 AM  
Q: How many typos can you cram into one careless, lazy, ill-considered headline?
A: All of them.
 
2022-05-16 11:39:09 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-05-16 11:40:44 AM  
Garbage headline, man.
 
2022-05-16 11:43:09 AM  

Stephen_Falken: Q: How many typos can you cram into one careless, lazy, ill-considered headline?
A: All of them.


And we're done here.

Someone get the lights:

c.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2022-05-16 11:47:53 AM  

Stephen_Falken: Q: How many typos can you cram into one careless, lazy, ill-considered headline?
A: All of them.


Somewhere out there, a mod is quietly chuckling with a knowing grin.
 
2022-05-16 11:50:24 AM  
Many years back I met a guy in jail who had almost 50 shoplifting charges from robbing the same Lowes. He would load up a cart with power tools, walk out the the door and then sell them online. I guess if you find something that seems to work, why switch up the technique? The guy ended up doing only 10 months in jail. He was a nice guy that Brian. Wicked good on the card tables. Crazy bastard ending up getting sent to the hole for drinking a bunch of hand sanitizer. I never saw him again after that. Sometimes I wonder what ever happened to Brian, hopefully he's stopped drinking hand sanitizer.
 
2022-05-16 11:51:22 AM  
The only headline to thread is deserving have posts resemble.
 
2022-05-16 11:51:37 AM  
So, sixty smash and grab ATM thefts?  I wonder what the total take on that was.  How far a field did these people have to go to find sixty smash and grabbables?

Also, it would seem that there isn't the security applied to these places that one would assume (assume and ATM.  Almost.  I say, almost a joke there!)

While no one was looking, Lez Luthor smashed and grabbed 60 atms.  He smashed and grabbed 60 ATMs.  That's as many as six tens and that's just horrible.
 
2022-05-16 11:54:02 AM  
Watched an armored car dude load up an ATM at the local Speedway gas station.   He was filling it with bundled stacks of twenty dollar bills that had to be at least eight inches tall apiece, and he loaded four of them.  I'd guess there had to be at least $30-40K.   I've never seen that much cash in my life.

So I can see why they're such a popular target.
 
2022-05-16 11:54:38 AM  
60?  sounds like they have a solid system and
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-05-16 11:56:02 AM  

Stephen_Falken: Q: How many typos can you cram into one careless, lazy, ill-considered headline?
A: All of them.


I see only one typo.
 
2022-05-16 11:57:46 AM  

PR Deltoid: Watched an armored car dude load up an ATM at the local Speedway gas station.   He was filling it with bundled stacks of twenty dollar bills that had to be at least eight inches tall apiece, and he loaded four of them.  I'd guess there had to be at least $30-40K.   I've never seen that much cash in my life.

So I can see why they're such a popular target.


This guy was stealing small ATMs inside of convenience stores
They don't have anywhere near the amount of money in them that the ones at banks have.
 
2022-05-16 12:00:53 PM  
It doesn't take rocket appliances.

(Oblig:)
Trailer Park Boys - ATM Heist
Youtube m8hjYyVDT9s
 
2022-05-16 12:01:15 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


Does not approve of going ATM

/  well sometimes it's OK
 
2022-05-16 12:08:07 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


You okay, subs?
 
2022-05-16 12:09:34 PM  
CSB: In the late 80s someone in our area was robbing ATMs. They would wait until the wee hours Sunday morning to get all the bar and restaurant deposits from Friday and Saturday. They would take a chain, loop it through the handle of the night deposit box, and pull it right out of the wall.

Funny thing is that they
* Always hit in the wee hours
* Always hit within a certain area
* Always hit the same brand box, that had a solid loop handle the chain would work on.

As you can imagine, the local cops picked a weekend and staked out the drop boxes with the same style handle. They caught the perp red handed hooking up the chains.
 
2022-05-16 12:10:59 PM  
Hasn't Stan Lee made enough from his Movies or is he trying to Finance yet another one?
 
2022-05-16 12:11:18 PM  
These types REALLY piss me off.  First they steal a truck to smash through the storefront and another truck to haul it away.  They chain the ATM to the truck and yank it out of the floor and through the store, totally trashing the place.  It's like smashing 100 car windows in a neighborhood for $20 in change to buy meth.  The damage is astronomical compared to the theft.
 
2022-05-16 12:12:57 PM  
After sixty times I'm a little impressed.
 
2022-05-16 12:28:50 PM  
They didn't have the PIN numbers for the ATM machines
 
2022-05-16 12:31:07 PM  

Halfabee64: These types REALLY piss me off.  First they steal a truck to smash through the storefront and another truck to haul it away.  They chain the ATM to the truck and yank it out of the floor and through the store, totally trashing the place.  It's like smashing 100 car windows in a neighborhood for $20 in change to buy meth.  The damage is astronomical compared to the theft.


Plus you have to be able to cut in to them.  And you have to dispose of the ATM unless you like explaining to the cops about your ATM collection in the back yard.

This is a full time job.  The only bennie is you aren't paying FICA, local and federal taxes.  But you're putting in the hours and a lot of it seems to be third shift.
 
2022-05-16 12:31:35 PM  
static3.srcdn.comView Full Size
"I ain't no skank."
 
2022-05-16 12:32:28 PM  

Stephen_Falken: Q: How many typos can you cram into one careless, lazy, ill-considered headline?
A: All of them.


Definitely expect better for 10 dollars.
 
2022-05-16 12:34:59 PM  
Subby should revise this when nine more machines get ripped out.
 
2022-05-16 12:35:16 PM  
Did you know you can proofread headlines before submitting them?
 
2022-05-16 12:40:59 PM  

Harry Freakstorm: So, sixty smash and grab ATM thefts?  I wonder what the total take on that was.  How far a field did these people have to go to find sixty smash and grabbables?

Also, it would seem that there isn't the security applied to these places that one would assume (assume and ATM.  Almost.  I say, almost a joke there!)

While no one was looking, Lez Luthor smashed and grabbed 60 atms.  He smashed and grabbed 60 ATMs.  That's as many as six tens and that's just horrible.


wompampsupport.azureedge.netView Full Size
 
2022-05-16 12:50:21 PM  

dennysgod: [Fark user image image 460x259]

Does not approve of going ATM

/  well sometimes it's OK


Fap
  
2022-05-16 12:52:36 PM  
Why not install die pacts so that if ATM is tilted over a point.
 
2022-05-16 12:54:14 PM  
The mistake these guys make s that they keep going until they are inevitably caught.  If they would have stopped at 50, they would have still had a nice haul and could have gone somewhere else.
 
2022-05-16 12:59:25 PM  

Halfabee64: These types REALLY piss me off.  First they steal a truck to smash through the storefront and another truck to haul it away.  They chain the ATM to the truck and yank it out of the floor and through the store, totally trashing the place.  It's like smashing 100 car windows in a neighborhood for $20 in change to buy meth.  The damage is astronomical compared to the theft.


And yet you keep doubling down.
ROFLMAO
CASINO (1995) LEAKAGE.
Youtube NqkkNtn-2wk

My point you can have leakage
Or you can over spend to stop leakage, like an idiot, and still take a L on the leakage.
Stupid.
Your choices are leakage OR leakage and expensive loss with leakage.
And some how you do the math and opt to spend more on stopping people than what the idiot is stealing.
Who's the farking idiot?

🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
 
2022-05-16 1:00:40 PM  
The problem with continuing to do crimes until you get caught is that, by definition, you inevitably get caught.
 
2022-05-16 1:01:36 PM  

runwiz: The mistake these guys make s that they keep going until they are inevitably caught.  If they would have stopped at 50, they would have still had a nice haul and could have gone somewhere else.


Actually, right now, they should just get job. Places keep saying no one wants to work.
 
2022-05-16 1:02:38 PM  

Herr Flick's Revenge: PR Deltoid: Watched an armored car dude load up an ATM at the local Speedway gas station.   He was filling it with bundled stacks of twenty dollar bills that had to be at least eight inches tall apiece, and he loaded four of them.  I'd guess there had to be at least $30-40K.   I've never seen that much cash in my life.

So I can see why they're such a popular target.

This guy was stealing small ATMs inside of convenience stores
They don't have anywhere near the amount of money in them that the ones at banks have.


Back in the day I worked a call desk where we'd dispatch armored cars to reload ATMs. Depending on the area, business type, and general usage, they'd have anywhere from a $20K to a $200K reload, some of the larger ones could be reloaded several times a week. The big ones were pretty much always inside big buildings with security (and since it was off-cycle, you had to call ahead), but yeah, a small gas station could still have a chunk of change and be accessible through brute force if you didn't care about the condition of the vehicle afterwards.
 
2022-05-16 1:03:38 PM  
"We want people to see exactly what the King County prosecutors are doing, which is holding these people accountable," said spokesman Casey McNerthney.

Apparently they're not doing much since a couple of guys who look like extras in a Genghis Khan historical biopic were able to do the same crime 60 times in the same county on recorded videos.
 
2022-05-16 1:08:10 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-05-16 1:08:19 PM  

runwiz: The mistake these guys make s that they keep going until they are inevitably caught.  If they would have stopped at 50, they would have still had a nice haul and could have gone somewhere else.


What makes you think it's inevitable? You think the all-powerful authorities are just biding their time, waiting for the right moment?

What's the magic number where the brilliant heroes in law enforcement suddenly spring into action?

What's the sample size where the sigma drops low enough that these dudes' IDs and locations suddenly pop out of the model on the cops' Excel spreadsheet?
 
2022-05-16 1:10:40 PM  

AquaTatanka: Your post makes it clear who the asshole is.


Yeah I'm jerk for pointing out the math.
Clearly you don't understand being bad at math, kills organizations.

Never spend more than the original issue.

Look at the stupid drug war

We've killed more people than the drugs would have done.


It's stupid to pay 500 bucks because they break a window for change in the center console.
It's stupid the amount of jail we want people to do over b.s.

No.
People bad at math are the asshole
 
2022-05-16 1:11:22 PM  

nytmare: The problem with continuing to do crimes until you get caught is that, by definition, you inevitably get caught.


The cops want you to believe this, but it's really, really not true.  They're mostly lazy and incompetent.
 
2022-05-16 1:29:12 PM  
The two gas stations by my place had this happen.  Stolen truck driven through the front doors, place ransacked.  I heard from both store owners that they didn't steal much, mostly cigarettes and whatever little change was left in the register.  People in Seattle are getting desperate.
 
2022-05-16 2:10:43 PM  

Z-clipped: nytmare: The problem with continuing to do crimes until you get caught is that, by definition, you inevitably get caught.

The cops want you to believe this, but it's really, really not true.  They're mostly lazy and incompetent.


When my house was burglarized the cop told me straight up that they would never catch the guy who did it, or get my stuff back. Nobody would ever look for the theif. I could check on Craigslist and maybe I would be able to buy my stuff back, but that was unlikely. Or, I could come to the police auction at the end of the year, because they confiscate stuff after drug busts and my stuff could turn up there. His entire job was writing police reports so victims could collect from insurance.
 
2022-05-16 2:17:13 PM  

Herr Flick's Revenge: PR Deltoid: Watched an armored car dude load up an ATM at the local Speedway gas station.   He was filling it with bundled stacks of twenty dollar bills that had to be at least eight inches tall apiece, and he loaded four of them.  I'd guess there had to be at least $30-40K.   I've never seen that much cash in my life.

So I can see why they're such a popular target.

This guy was stealing small ATMs inside of convenience stores
They don't have anywhere near the amount of money in them that the ones at banks have.


Did you miss the fact that he's talking about agas station ATM?
 
2022-05-16 3:08:26 PM  
Even at $5000 average in each machine, that's $300,000 stolen.

There's a store near me that had their ATM stolen by a truck that backed into the doors and pulled it out with a chain. They put the new one exactly where the old one was.
 
2022-05-16 3:10:30 PM  

James T. Kirk: Z-clipped: nytmare: The problem with continuing to do crimes until you get caught is that, by definition, you inevitably get caught.

The cops want you to believe this, but it's really, really not true.  They're mostly lazy and incompetent.

When my house was burglarized the cop told me straight up that they would never catch the guy who did it, or get my stuff back. Nobody would ever look for the theif. I could check on Craigslist and maybe I would be able to buy my stuff back, but that was unlikely. Or, I could come to the police auction at the end of the year, because they confiscate stuff after drug busts and my stuff could turn up there. His entire job was writing police reports so victims could collect from insurance.


Been there, done that.  You practically quoted the cop verbatim.  I made out like a bandit with a replacement cost insurance policy.  I had just bought a complete Sansui stereo system from another grad who was dropping out of school to follow his wife to a high priced gig, so I had that in addition to my scratch and dent/demo stereo purchases and a second-hand Sony Trinitron TV.  They used some kind of battering ram on the back door and stole every piece of electronic equipment in the apartment (except the broken microwave) during a 15-minute window of me leaving for a night class and another roommate coming home from a late afternoon class.  Nobody heard or saw a thing in broad daylight, including the apartment complex manager two doors down.

Now that I think about it.  It was the next door neighbors.  They saw the Sansui system come in the week before and they only had to take my shiat out my back door and into theirs, hence nobody saw anyone carting away a truckload of our shiat.
 
2022-05-16 3:19:27 PM  
waxbeans
runwiz: The mistake these guys make s that they keep going until they are inevitably caught.  If they would have stopped at 50, they would have still had a nice haul and could have gone somewhere else.

Actually, right now, they should just get job. Places keep saying no one wants to work.


This is their job.  They're professional thieves. When not actually robbing they are hard at work planning their next robbery. And the schedule can be crazy.
 
2022-05-16 3:52:17 PM  
Nine more times and they would have unlocked an accomplishment
 
2022-05-16 4:01:32 PM  

zerkalo: Nine more times and they would have unlocked an accomplishment


ATM Smasher?
Yanking My Chain?
Cash & Carry?
How Convenient?
 
2022-05-16 4:01:36 PM  

Halfabee64: These types REALLY piss me off.  First they steal a truck to smash through the storefront and another truck to haul it away.  They chain the ATM to the truck and yank it out of the floor and through the store, totally trashing the place.  It's like smashing 100 car windows in a neighborhood for $20 in change to buy meth.  The damage is astronomical compared to the theft.



img.lakeshorelearning.comView Full Size

Except for criminals.
 
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