Skip to content
Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Philly Voice)   Road's closed, folks. all the big signs, the barricades, the Jersey Barriers, and the "Sidewalk closed" signs out front should have told ya   (phillyvoice.com) divider line
    More: Stupid, Natural gas, Montgomery County, Pennsylvania, Sinkhole, Cheltenham Township officials, gigantic sinkhole, Church Road, proposed development, Cheltenham Township Emergency Management  
•       •       •

3617 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 May 2022 at 1:37 PM (2 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



46 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2 days ago  
If they tried that hard to keep me away, there must be something valuable behind all those barriers!
 
2 days ago  

BigMax: If they tried that hard to keep me away, there must be something valuable behind all those barriers!


If it's Jersey barriers, probably the smell!

/born, raised and living in New Jersey
 
2 days ago  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2 days ago  
I'm for the George Carlin approach.
Remove all these warnings, from everything, and let the idiots remove themselves from the gene pool.

Humanity could use a good thinning out.
 
2 days ago  
Roads are socializm.
 
2 days ago  
"But by Monday, the township observed that lawbreaking motorists were simply going around the barricades. "

This happens by me all the time, or rather all the time whenever there's large construction.  Huge like 4x6 foot signs "ROAD CLOSED NO ENTRY" Then a second set of those signs 100m further down the road.  Reason being: the whole farking road is completely dug up.  Invariably, people driving past the signs and through the loose dirt to get...to a giant pit they have to turn around from.  Alternatively, one lane open for an entire mile because half the road is dug up and they've reduced traffic to one way.  Same thing: huge signs same size, "WRONG WAY ONE WAY TRAFFIC".  What do you get? Assholes who live 3/4 of the way down that road who won't drive an extra 60 seconds to go around the block, so they drive the wrong way against the flow of traffic.

Does this happen in other countries with similar/better traffic infrastructure? Or is it just because Americans don't really have to prove qualifications beyond a pulse to get a license for driving?
 
2 days ago  
I wonder how many people on here don't get the movie reference in subby's tagline?
 
2 days ago  
They were fixing a pipe by my house. They dug a big ol'  cube out of the road, about 9 feet on a side, with the intention of taking out the old pipe, putting in a new pipe, and filling it back in with road after. At least that was the thought.

Instead, people would drive around the gigantic orange barriers and fall in the hole. Every time I would come home from work, there would be a *completely different* car stuck face-first at a 90 degree angle with the ground, with its tail end sticking straight up in the air, having driven straight into the hole. And then occasionally throughout the day. They need a special tow truck with a wench to get the cars out of the hole, and as soon as they got one out, another one would fall in; it was a continuous chain of idiots.

Finally, the cop that was giving people tickets for 'disregarding a barricade' and falling in the hole realized that no one would 'disregard the barricade' while he was there, so he parked his police car with its blinky lights in front of the barricade and the city actually had cops guarding the hole 24/7 so people wouldn't jump in. Because people would do it at night, too. Because of course they did.

Finally, they replaced the pipe, way behind schedule because of all the idiots, and they pulled up the truck to fill in the hole. To do that, they would have to move the cop car out of the way for 30 seconds so the fill truck would have access to the hole to dump in the filling. But no one can fall in the hole in 30 seconds, right? Right? I think you can see where this was going.

As soon as the cop car nudged away, someone would gun it for the hole. This is our chance to fall in the hole! The guy claimed he 'didn't see' all the bright orange cones and barrels and barricades and the giant filling truck with yellow blinking lights and the police car sitting *right there* next to it, with its own red and blue lights. He didn't see any of that, apparently, and just rammed the whole shebang, and, you guessed it, fell in the hole.

Lesson learned: the only thing that stops people from driving off a cliff is that they don't want to ram a cop car. Ramming orange barrels and cones and barricades is okay, but we draw the line at ramming a cop car out of the way. If the way is not currently being physically blocked by a cop car, people will ram it. Even if there is obviously a giant hole on the other side.
 
2 days ago  

New Rising Sun: "But by Monday, the township observed that lawbreaking motorists were simply going around the barricades. "

This happens by me all the time, or rather all the time whenever there's large construction.  Huge like 4x6 foot signs "ROAD CLOSED NO ENTRY" Then a second set of those signs 100m further down the road.  Reason being: the whole farking road is completely dug up.  Invariably, people driving past the signs and through the loose dirt to get...to a giant pit they have to turn around from.  Alternatively, one lane open for an entire mile because half the road is dug up and they've reduced traffic to one way.  Same thing: huge signs same size, "WRONG WAY ONE WAY TRAFFIC".  What do you get? Assholes who live 3/4 of the way down that road who won't drive an extra 60 seconds to go around the block, so they drive the wrong way against the flow of traffic.

Does this happen in other countries with similar/better traffic infrastructure? Or is it just because Americans don't really have to prove qualifications beyond a pulse to get a license for driving?


I was the public works director for Key West Florida for almost 10 years, I can confirm that if you put up a barricade people will drive around, over it, through it, whatever it takes, instead of going 2 minutes out of their way to follow the detour. During the 2005 hurricane season I had to close several roads most noteably South Roosevelt Blvd from the condos to Bertha for weeks because 1. Smathers Beach was on the four lane road 5' deep 2. the two land turn at Bertha was GONE as in washed into the ocean and only half a lane remained.

Put up 5 rows of 10' wide Type III barricades, signs everywhere saying the road is washed out, use Flager Ave etc, when we had the heavy equipment down there screening the sand to put back on the beach people would honk at and drive around my flagmen. They did not care, they would argue with PD about being allowed to drive that way to get to where ever because "this is the way I always go".

People are farking self important idiots.
 
2 days ago  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2 days ago  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2 days ago  

Sim Tree: They were fixing a pipe by my house. They dug a big ol'  cube out of the road, about 9 feet on a side, with the intention of taking out the old pipe, putting in a new pipe, and filling it back in with road after. At least that was the thought.

Instead, people would drive around the gigantic orange barriers and fall in the hole. Every time I would come home from work, there would be a *completely different* car stuck face-first at a 90 degree angle with the ground, with its tail end sticking straight up in the air, having driven straight into the hole. And then occasionally throughout the day. They need a special tow truck with a wench to get the cars out of the hole, and as soon as they got one out, another one would fall in; it was a continuous chain of idiots.

Finally, the cop that was giving people tickets for 'disregarding a barricade' and falling in the hole realized that no one would 'disregard the barricade' while he was there, so he parked his police car with its blinky lights in front of the barricade and the city actually had cops guarding the hole 24/7 so people wouldn't jump in. Because people would do it at night, too. Because of course they did.

Finally, they replaced the pipe, way behind schedule because of all the idiots, and they pulled up the truck to fill in the hole. To do that, they would have to move the cop car out of the way for 30 seconds so the fill truck would have access to the hole to dump in the filling. But no one can fall in the hole in 30 seconds, right? Right? I think you can see where this was going.

As soon as the cop car nudged away, someone would gun it for the hole. This is our chance to fall in the hole! The guy claimed he 'didn't see' all the bright orange cones and barrels and barricades and the giant filling truck with yellow blinking lights and the police car sitting *right there* next to it, with its own red and blue lights. He didn't see any of that, apparently, and just rammed the whole shebang, and, you guessed it, fell in the hole.

Lesson learned: the only thing that stops people from driving off a cliff is that they don't want to ram a cop car. Ramming orange barrels and cones and barricades is okay, but we draw the line at ramming a cop car out of the way. If the way is not currently being physically blocked by a cop car, people will ram it. Even if there is obviously a giant hole on the other side.


I would love to see their insurance deny their claims. Suffer you idiots.
 
2 days ago  
Fark user imageView Full Size

Meanwhile in the same county down the street from my house they've left this farking sinkhole just sit for a month now.  I knew it was in for the farking long haul when they surrounded them with giant cement blocks and installed permanent detour signage (their own posts and everything) 😡
 
2 days ago  

Sim Tree: They were fixing a pipe by my house. They dug a big ol'  cube out of the road, about 9 feet on a side, with the intention of taking out the old pipe, putting in a new pipe, and filling it back in with road after. At least that was the thought.

Instead, people would drive around the gigantic orange barriers and fall in the hole. Every time I would come home from work, there would be a *completely different* car stuck face-first at a 90 degree angle with the ground, with its tail end sticking straight up in the air, having driven straight into the hole. And then occasionally throughout the day. They need a special tow truck with a wench to get the cars out of the hole, and as soon as they got one out, another one would fall in; it was a continuous chain of idiots.

Finally, the cop that was giving people tickets for 'disregarding a barricade' and falling in the hole realized that no one would 'disregard the barricade' while he was there, so he parked his police car with its blinky lights in front of the barricade and the city actually had cops guarding the hole 24/7 so people wouldn't jump in. Because people would do it at night, too. Because of course they did.

Finally, they replaced the pipe, way behind schedule because of all the idiots, and they pulled up the truck to fill in the hole. To do that, they would have to move the cop car out of the way for 30 seconds so the fill truck would have access to the hole to dump in the filling. But no one can fall in the hole in 30 seconds, right? Right? I think you can see where this was going.

As soon as the cop car nudged away, someone would gun it for the hole. This is our chance to fall in the hole! The guy claimed he 'didn't see' all the bright orange cones and barrels and barricades and the giant filling truck with yellow blinking lights and the police car sitting *right there* next to it, with its own red and blue lights. He didn't see any of that, apparently, and just rammed the whole shebang, and, you guessed it, fell in the hole.

Lesson learned: the only thing that stops people from driving off a cliff is that they don't want to ram a cop car. Ramming orange barrels and cones and barricades is okay, but we draw the line at ramming a cop car out of the way. If the way is not currently being physically blocked by a cop car, people will ram it. Even if there is obviously a giant hole on the other side.


Obvious solution: inflatable cop cars.
 
2 days ago  

wildsnowllama: [Fark user image image 425x566]
Meanwhile in the same county down the street from my house they've left this farking sinkhole just sit for a month now.  I knew it was in for the farking long haul when they surrounded them with giant cement blocks and installed permanent detour signage (their own posts and everything) 😡


Just start spraypainting penises (penii?) around it until they either clean it up or fix it. Generally works for potholes but worth a shot.
 
2 days ago  

DarkSoulNoHope: BigMax: If they tried that hard to keep me away, there must be something valuable behind all those barriers!

If it's Jersey barriers, probably the smell!

/born, raised and living in New Jersey


Jersey barriers have as much to do with NJ as Jersey Shore.

/read: nothing
 
2 days ago  

Another Government Employee: Roads are socializm.


Unless it's a private drive
 
2 days ago  

New Rising Sun: "But by Monday, the township observed that lawbreaking motorists were simply going around the barricades. "

This happens by me all the time, or rather all the time whenever there's large construction.  Huge like 4x6 foot signs "ROAD CLOSED NO ENTRY" Then a second set of those signs 100m further down the road.  Reason being: the whole farking road is completely dug up.  Invariably, people driving past the signs and through the loose dirt to get...to a giant pit they have to turn around from.  Alternatively, one lane open for an entire mile because half the road is dug up and they've reduced traffic to one way.  Same thing: huge signs same size, "WRONG WAY ONE WAY TRAFFIC".  What do you get? Assholes who live 3/4 of the way down that road who won't drive an extra 60 seconds to go around the block, so they drive the wrong way against the flow of traffic.

Does this happen in other countries with similar/better traffic infrastructure? Or is it just because Americans don't really have to prove qualifications beyond a pulse to get a license for driving?


It's because you touch yourself at night
 
2 days ago  

FloriduhGuy: I wonder how many people on here don't get the movie reference in subby's tagline?


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2 days ago  
I was watching the local news after there were some thunderstorms that flooded low-lying areas. The reporter is standing in front of a flooded road with water halfway up a stop sign, so that's at least 3 to 4 feet of water.

It cuts to an interview with a woman who saw that the road was flooded with that much water and everyone else turned around to avoid it, yet decided to drive her car through it. The car stopped dead.

The reporter was in disbelief and asked why she drove into all that water, and she said, "I didn't think the water was that high." Despite seeing a half-submerged stop sign.

And then the woman went on to say that she called her husband to tell him what happened. And she was surprised that her husband was angry and didn't understand why she would drive into all that water.
 
2 days ago  

FloriduhGuy: I wonder how many people on here don't get the movie reference in subby's tagline?


The moose out front told me.  Maybe that's what they needed instead of all those pesky signs and barricades.
 
2 days ago  

jjorsett: Obvious solution: inflatable cop cars.


th.bing.comView Full Size

It worked during WWII.
 
2 days ago  
YNTBOM Syndrome is the true pandemic in America, and the primary complication for many other illnesses, including COVID-19.
 
2 days ago  

Sim Tree: They need a special tow truck with a wench to get the cars out of the hole


I can only imagine.
 
2 days ago  

grumpfuff: DarkSoulNoHope: BigMax: If they tried that hard to keep me away, there must be something valuable behind all those barriers!

If it's Jersey barriers, probably the smell!

/born, raised and living in New Jersey

Jersey barriers have as much to do with NJ as Jersey Shore.

/read: nothing


That's because they are named for Jersey cows, back in the day they used to lead a herd onto the road, so carriages couldn't get through while they repaired parts of the road that had been washed out by rain
 
2 days ago  

envirovore: I'm for the George Carlin approach.
Remove all these warnings, from everything, and let the idiots remove themselves from the gene pool.

Humanity could use a good thinning out.


Fark user imageView Full Size


Agrees
 
2 days ago  
Pfft. I won't fall into a sinkhole. That's for other people

**Drives past sign**
 
2 days ago  

grumpfuff: DarkSoulNoHope: BigMax: If they tried that hard to keep me away, there must be something valuable behind all those barriers!

If it's Jersey barriers, probably the smell!

/born, raised and living in New Jersey

Jersey barriers have as much to do with NJ as Jersey Shore.

/read: nothing


Other that they were designed (Stevens tech) in and first widely used in NJ.
 
2 days ago  
Mouse Rat "The Pit" Music Video
Youtube NqZMcvd0yjo
 
2 days ago  

Someone Else's Alt: New Rising Sun: "But by Monday, the township observed that lawbreaking motorists were simply going around the barricades. "

This happens by me all the time, or rather all the time whenever there's large construction.  Huge like 4x6 foot signs "ROAD CLOSED NO ENTRY" Then a second set of those signs 100m further down the road.  Reason being: the whole farking road is completely dug up.  Invariably, people driving past the signs and through the loose dirt to get...to a giant pit they have to turn around from.  Alternatively, one lane open for an entire mile because half the road is dug up and they've reduced traffic to one way.  Same thing: huge signs same size, "WRONG WAY ONE WAY TRAFFIC".  What do you get? Assholes who live 3/4 of the way down that road who won't drive an extra 60 seconds to go around the block, so they drive the wrong way against the flow of traffic.

Does this happen in other countries with similar/better traffic infrastructure? Or is it just because Americans don't really have to prove qualifications beyond a pulse to get a license for driving?

I was the public works director for Key West Florida for almost 10 years, I can confirm that if you put up a barricade people will drive around, over it, through it, whatever it takes, instead of going 2 minutes out of their way to follow the detour. During the 2005 hurricane season I had to close several roads most noteably South Roosevelt Blvd from the condos to Bertha for weeks because 1. Smathers Beach was on the four lane road 5' deep 2. the two land turn at Bertha was GONE as in washed into the ocean and only half a lane remained.

Put up 5 rows of 10' wide Type III barricades, signs everywhere saying the road is washed out, use Flager Ave etc, when we had the heavy equipment down there screening the sand to put back on the beach people would honk at and drive around my flagmen. They did not care, they would argue with PD about being allowed to drive that way to get to where ever because "this is th ...


I'm one of them, sorry. I find basically all of them posted like that are ones I can get through easily.

I just take a "road washed out" sign as a challenge. A road with 5" of sand and random debris sounds like a fun time. Can we just have some "off road vehicles only" signs instead?

Also:
https://www.rideapart.com/news/304114/whoa-thats-no-puddle/
 
2 days ago  

grumpfuff: DarkSoulNoHope: BigMax: If they tried that hard to keep me away, there must be something valuable behind all those barriers!

If it's Jersey barriers, probably the smell!

/born, raised and living in New Jersey

Jersey barriers have as much to do with NJ as Jersey Shore.

/read: nothing


You aren't wrong.

https://www.jerseyshoreboro.org/
 
2 days ago  
Sinkhole trifecta in play
 
2 days ago  
pbs.twimg.comView Full Size
 
2 days ago  
Can't the city provide a link to quality photos of the 'disaster?'

High resolution stills, a drone video, and the images the engineers took when they went down it would quash curiosity.
 
2 days ago  

Sim Tree: They were fixing a pipe by my house. They dug a big ol'  cube out of the road, about 9 feet on a side, with the intention of taking out the old pipe, putting in a new pipe, and filling it back in with road after. At least that was the thought.

Instead, people would drive around the gigantic orange barriers and fall in the hole. Every time I would come home from work, there would be a *completely different* car stuck face-first at a 90 degree angle with the ground, with its tail end sticking straight up in the air, having driven straight into the hole. And then occasionally throughout the day. They need a special tow truck with a wench to get the cars out of the hole, and as soon as they got one out, another one would fall in; it was a continuous chain of idiots.

Finally, the cop that was giving people tickets for 'disregarding a barricade' and falling in the hole realized that no one would 'disregard the barricade' while he was there, so he parked his police car with its blinky lights in front of the barricade and the city actually had cops guarding the hole 24/7 so people wouldn't jump in. Because people would do it at night, too. Because of course they did.

Finally, they replaced the pipe, way behind schedule because of all the idiots, and they pulled up the truck to fill in the hole. To do that, they would have to move the cop car out of the way for 30 seconds so the fill truck would have access to the hole to dump in the filling. But no one can fall in the hole in 30 seconds, right? Right? I think you can see where this was going.

As soon as the cop car nudged away, someone would gun it for the hole. This is our chance to fall in the hole! The guy claimed he 'didn't see' all the bright orange cones and barrels and barricades and the giant filling truck with yellow blinking lights and the police car sitting *right there* next to it, with its own red and blue lights. He didn't see any of that, apparently, and just rammed the whole shebang, and, you guessed it, ...


Did you entertain yourself taking pictures of the stream of idiots? Because I would have. I'd have set up a website.
 
2 days ago  
Can confirm all these stories. They are separating the sewer on my street this spring. The barricades don't stop many people from trying to drive into the 25 foot deep trench. Fortunately no one has managed that stunt.... Yet.
 
2 days ago  
"Road Closed" = "No interfering traffic to keep me from getting from A to B without running into some idiot who doesn't recognize me as being more important than they are!".
 
2 days ago  

Sim Tree: Lesson learned: the only thing that stops people from driving off a cliff is that they don't want to ram a cop car. Ramming orange barrels and cones and barricades is okay, but we draw the line at ramming a cop car out of the way. If the way is not currently being physically blocked by a cop car, people will ram it. Even if there is obviously a giant hole on the other side.


When I was still a cop, they were widening a two lane road and closed a section of the road that they had removed so they could build a bridge over a creek. They put giant barricades with "road closed" signs on them, but people would squeeze between the barricades and drive into the gap in the road. One night I saw someone do just that while I was on duty, so I moved the barricades to close the gap so a car wouldn't fit through. As I pulled away, in a marked police car, another car passed me heading for the barricades. I stopped and watched him get out of his car, move the barricades, then drive through the gap. With me in a marked police car in clear view. I stopped him and wrote him a ticket, and he actually contested it in court claiming the sings weren't visible (these were six-foot tall signs with orange and white diagonal stripes and he had to MOVE the damn signs to get through). The judge found him guilty and he blew a gasket and almost got held in contempt.
 
2 days ago  
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
 
2 days ago  

ClavellBCMI: Never underestimate the power of human stupidity. Self-importance


FTFY

/As the pandemic taught us over and over again
 
2 days ago  

HighlanderRPI: ClavellBCMI: Never underestimate the power of human stupidity. Self-importance

FTFY

/As the pandemic taught us over and over again


Is there a difference between the two?
 
2 days ago  

Sim Tree: . They need a special tow truck with a wench to get the cars out of the hole,


Buxom wench?

AAA always sends a buxom one when I have a flat.
 
2 days ago  
Let'em find their own way out.
 
2 days ago  

guinsu: grumpfuff: DarkSoulNoHope: BigMax: If they tried that hard to keep me away, there must be something valuable behind all those barriers!

If it's Jersey barriers, probably the smell!

/born, raised and living in New Jersey

Jersey barriers have as much to do with NJ as Jersey Shore.

/read: nothing

You aren't wrong.

https://www.jerseyshoreboro.org/


Except you're both wrong!

The Jersey Barrier was designed in the Stevens Institute of Technology, a New Jersey private university, at the direction of the New Jersey Department of Transportation.

The Jersey Shore borough in Pennsylvania was specifically named because the family who founded the town name did so because of their memories of New Jersey.

So if you can't take a joke from a New Jersey resident about New Jersey, and can't figure out the reference, then there's no hope for your sense of humor.
 
1 day ago  
National Lampoon's Vacation | "Car Crash" 30th Anniversary | Warner Bros. Entertainment
Youtube T8bD5mVOW70
 
1 day ago  

DarkSoulNoHope: guinsu: grumpfuff: DarkSoulNoHope: BigMax: If they tried that hard to keep me away, there must be something valuable behind all those barriers!

If it's Jersey barriers, probably the smell!

/born, raised and living in New Jersey

Jersey barriers have as much to do with NJ as Jersey Shore.

/read: nothing

You aren't wrong.

https://www.jerseyshoreboro.org/

Except you're both wrong!

The Jersey Barrier was designed in the Stevens Institute of Technology, a New Jersey private university, at the direction of the New Jersey Department of Transportation.

The Jersey Shore borough in Pennsylvania was specifically named because the family who founded the town name did so because of their memories of New Jersey.

So if you can't take a joke from a New Jersey resident about New Jersey, and can't figure out the reference, then there's no hope for your sense of humor.


I just saw an opening to drop a jersey shore, pa reference and I took it. Did get your original joke though.
 
Displayed 46 of 46 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking




On Twitter


X
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.