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(CNN)   7-year-old chugs blood of Christ at her first communion. God be with her   (cnn.com) divider line
    More: Amusing, CNN, Bye bye, Eucharist, CNN Video, Weather, Extreme weather, Quirky world of Jeanne Moos, priest's reaction  
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4996 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 May 2022 at 7:05 PM (8 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2022-05-07 4:42:18 PM  
That was freaking hysterical.
 
2022-05-07 4:48:45 PM  
Here...let's do ritualistic blood drinking and flesh eating. It's perfectly normal.

But don't eat meat on Fridays...because you'll go to hell.
 
2022-05-07 4:55:52 PM  
So we should expect her to show up on Fark in what, 6 years?
 
2022-05-07 4:56:02 PM  

Bootleg: So we should expect her to show up on Fark in what, 6 years?


As a Farker, I mean.
 
2022-05-07 5:02:53 PM  

optikeye: Here...let's do ritualistic blood drinking and flesh eating. It's perfectly normal.

But don't eat meat on Fridays...because you'll go to hell.


If devouring the transubstantiated body and blood of a god in a ritualistic weekly sky burial is wrong, I don't want to be right.
 
2022-05-07 5:05:45 PM  

dhcmrlchtdj: optikeye: Here...let's do ritualistic blood drinking and flesh eating. It's perfectly normal.

But don't eat meat on Fridays...because you'll go to hell.

If devouring the transubstantiated body and blood of a god in a ritualistic weekly sky burial is wrong, I don't want to be right.


If christ was killed in the 20th century. They'd all be wearing little eletric chairs around their necks.
 
2022-05-07 5:08:31 PM  
Transubstantiation always smacked of copout paganism to me.
 
2022-05-07 5:23:21 PM  

optikeye: dhcmrlchtdj: optikeye: Here...let's do ritualistic blood drinking and flesh eating. It's perfectly normal.

But don't eat meat on Fridays...because you'll go to hell.

If devouring the transubstantiated body and blood of a god in a ritualistic weekly sky burial is wrong, I don't want to be right.

If christ was killed in the 20th century. They'd all be wearing little eletric chairs around their necks.


If I ever take communion again, I'm going to bring a little bottle of hot sauce with me. The body of Christ is downright nasty.
 
2022-05-07 5:28:54 PM  

dhcmrlchtdj: optikeye: dhcmrlchtdj: optikeye: Here...let's do ritualistic blood drinking and flesh eating. It's perfectly normal.

But don't eat meat on Fridays...because you'll go to hell.

If devouring the transubstantiated body and blood of a god in a ritualistic weekly sky burial is wrong, I don't want to be right.

If christ was killed in the 20th century. They'd all be wearing little eletric chairs around their necks.

If I ever take communion again, I'm going to bring a little bottle of hot sauce with me. The body of Christ is downright nasty.


When I was a kid, I used to sneak candy to have afterward.
 
2022-05-07 5:43:03 PM  
The blood of Christ was my gateway to bar life also.
 
2022-05-07 5:46:48 PM  

Lambskincoat: The blood of Christ was my gateway to bar life also.


Under the influence...of the Holy Spirit!
 
2022-05-07 5:52:35 PM  
The Cure - The Blood
Youtube corav0XoLUY
 
2022-05-07 6:01:24 PM  
If you were a kid in South Dakota, you'd start drinking early, too.
 
2022-05-07 6:14:32 PM  
Submitter's devotion is showing by how carefully they capitalised all those Holy Words. Blood of christ my ass. This has got to be the single most ridiculous and hurtful mythology ever foisted on the poor benighted masses. No wonder we live in a brutal age of materialism. And here you bastards are getting seven-year-olds drunk. Disgusting.
 
2022-05-07 7:08:13 PM  

Bootleg: So we should expect her to show up on Fark in what, 6 years?


Or, you know, today
 
2022-05-07 7:08:22 PM  
And after the blood of Christ... the BRAIIIINS
 
2022-05-07 7:10:17 PM  
Jeanne Moos isn't AS bad as Chris Cillizza... but it is close.
 
2022-05-07 7:11:25 PM  
Was she just supposed to take a sip? Or was she supposed to drink it all, just not so fast?
 
2022-05-07 7:11:36 PM  

dhcmrlchtdj: optikeye: dhcmrlchtdj: optikeye: Here...let's do ritualistic blood drinking and flesh eating. It's perfectly normal.

But don't eat meat on Fridays...because you'll go to hell.

If devouring the transubstantiated body and blood of a god in a ritualistic weekly sky burial is wrong, I don't want to be right.

If christ was killed in the 20th century. They'd all be wearing little eletric chairs around their necks.

If I ever take communion again, I'm going to bring a little bottle of hot sauce with me. The body of Christ is downright nasty.


What a spicy Jesus may look like
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-05-07 7:12:11 PM  

Stephen_Falken: Submitter's devotion is showing by how carefully they capitalised all those Holy Words. Blood of christ my ass. This has got to be the single most ridiculous and hurtful mythology ever foisted on the poor benighted masses. No wonder we live in a brutal age of materialism. And here you bastards are getting seven-year-olds drunk. Disgusting.


At least the kid wasn't buggered this time... probably.

/maybe
 
2022-05-07 7:13:24 PM  

optikeye: Here...let's do ritualistic blood drinking and flesh eating. It's perfectly normal.

But don't eat meat on Fridays...because you'll go to hell.


It's OK to eat beaver on Fridays in Canada, though.
 
2022-05-07 7:14:37 PM  

optikeye: Here...let's do ritualistic blood drinking and flesh eating. It's perfectly normal.

But don't eat meat on Fridays...because you'll go to hell.


Technically, alligator is fine.

/ I think that pigs would also be fine because they live in mud and mud is a liquid.

// why, yes. The nuns did beat the left-handedness out of me when I was a small child. How do I know? I am left eye dominant.

/// while the second slashy is a joke...it's not much of one.
 
2022-05-07 7:14:53 PM  
Tom Lehrer - The Vatican Rag - with intro
Youtube _YcGRNmkB00


2, 4, 6, 8, time to transsubstantiate!
 
2022-05-07 7:15:03 PM  
"Easy now!  Save some for the boys." -The priest
 
2022-05-07 7:15:23 PM  

edmo: If you were a kid in South Dakota, you'd start drinking early, too.


BS, I live in South Dakota and they just gave the kids grape juice at Communion. As soon as I found that out, I swore off Christianity forever. That's why I became an Alvisist.
 
2022-05-07 7:15:55 PM  
Majority of the molestation is against little boys. Those sons of biatches consider it a perk that comes with the position.
 
2022-05-07 7:17:32 PM  

Vern: edmo: If you were a kid in South Dakota, you'd start drinking early, too.

BS, I live in South Dakota and they just gave the kids grape juice at Communion. As soon as I found that out, I swore off Christianity forever. That's why I became an Alvisist.


Alvisist? As in this Alvis?:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-05-07 7:18:34 PM  
you really gotta line the stomach with some body of christ first
 
2022-05-07 7:18:50 PM  

Stephen_Falken: Submitter's devotion is showing by how carefully they capitalised all those Holy Words. Blood of christ my ass. This has got to be the single most ridiculous and hurtful mythology ever foisted on the poor benighted masses. No wonder we live in a brutal age of materialism. And here you bastards are getting seven-year-olds drunk. Disgusting.


Please...tell us how you really feel.
 
2022-05-07 7:18:58 PM  

Stephen_Falken: Submitter's devotion is showing by how carefully they capitalised all those Holy Words. Blood of christ my ass. This has got to be the single most ridiculous and hurtful mythology ever foisted on the poor benighted masses. No wonder we live in a brutal age of materialism. And here you bastards are getting seven-year-olds drunk. Disgusting.


Fun fact: What is the actual name of Jesus, in Hebrew? Joshua. And his Second Coming will bring about the Apocalypse, the end of the world. For example, through global thermonuclear war. Kind of puts a different light on that movie, doesn't it, Professor Falken.
 
2022-05-07 7:30:38 PM  
"I learned it from you Father."

Seriously, that is what she would see the priest do with his chalice at every Mass, drink the whole contents. Of course, there's usually very little in there, for obvious reasons.
She probably never paid attention that everyone else just taking a little sip.
 
2022-05-07 7:30:51 PM  

Stephen_Falken: Submitter's devotion is showing by how carefully they capitalised all those Holy Words. Blood of christ my ass. This has got to be the single most ridiculous and hurtful mythology ever foisted on the poor benighted masses. No wonder we live in a brutal age of materialism. And here you bastards are getting seven-year-olds drunk. Disgusting.


Capitalizing proper nouns and/or the first word of a sentence is special "devotion"?  Why didn't they refer to "Blood of Christ" or "First Communion"?  And why would such special devotion include starting your sentence with a numeral?
 
2022-05-07 7:31:17 PM  
Blood is an emetic.  Everybody knows that.  Only vampires drink blood you fools.
 
2022-05-07 7:31:50 PM  
He must've been plastered 24 hours a day!
 
2022-05-07 7:32:12 PM  
CSS: apparently at my first communion, I turned to my mother and said "Jesus doesn't taste very good". My mother enjoyed telling that story. I only remember the pretty tiara I wore.
 
2022-05-07 7:33:11 PM  

bababa: Was she just supposed to take a sip? Or was she supposed to drink it all, just not so fast?


A sip or a swallow at most. One 750ml bottle of wine should last 60 congregants. So 12.5ml per person.

The chalice is usually only filled 1/3 full to prevent people from having to lean forward into the cup. This minimizes backwash. In this case, the cup probably obscured her vision of the pastor. She was also likely focused on the amount of beverage left before she could go home to her lazy husband and yell at him about how "impotent" he is and how much more money Greg next door makes. Then she stifles a cry, and breaks out a full bottle of red so she can finish off her Sunday morning routine.
 
2022-05-07 7:35:47 PM  
Oddly enough, that church hosts AA meetings every Thursday night. They pass around a donation basket there, too. That's how they get you
 
2022-05-07 7:36:43 PM  
Or alternatively, maybe there was so little wine in the chalice that she had to tip it that far back.  They don't top it off like a greedy waiter.
 
2022-05-07 7:37:42 PM  
What? Kid got wine at her first Communion? I've been done. Why didn't I get any?

/Former Catholic
 
2022-05-07 7:38:52 PM  
That kid has nothing on my cousins at Passover Seder. Sip? I'm talking four whole cups, muthf*cka!
 
2022-05-07 7:39:43 PM  
Aww look, how cute, a little girl being brainwashed into medieval cult.

And another Christian ritual where they dress up little girls in wedding gowns.
 
2022-05-07 7:39:47 PM  

optikeye: dhcmrlchtdj: optikeye: Here...let's do ritualistic blood drinking and flesh eating. It's perfectly normal.

But don't eat meat on Fridays...because you'll go to hell.

If devouring the transubstantiated body and blood of a god in a ritualistic weekly sky burial is wrong, I don't want to be right.

If christ was killed in the 20th century. They'd all be wearing little eletric chairs around their necks.


1949 called. It wants its Finley Wren back
 
2022-05-07 7:40:03 PM  
Which bloodline is she? Only vampires can take it like that.

I'm not sure which one I might be. There are options.
 
2022-05-07 7:41:04 PM  

The Devil's Bartender: Oddly enough, that church hosts AA meetings every Thursday night. They pass around a donation basket there, too. That's how they get you


A lot of churches provide space for AA, they don't really "host" them.  From what I've heard, AA tries to make meetings as available as they can.
 
2022-05-07 7:41:17 PM  

AeAe: Majority of the molestation is against little boys. Those sons of biatches consider it a perk that comes with the position.


How many times do we have to go over this?
The sex of the child is not important
(usually),  child rape is a power move and the victim is usually based on accessibility. Since most priest are near little boys all the time alter, school....they have much easier access to boys than girls.
 
2022-05-07 7:41:49 PM  

Jake Havechek: Transubstantiation always smacked of copout paganism to me.


You mean a religion co-opted by Constantine to stabilize the Roman Empire may have stolen a number of Iron Age pagan traditions to temper the shock?
 
2022-05-07 7:41:51 PM  

AeAe: Majority of the molestation is against little boys. Those sons of biatches consider it a perk that comes with the position.


The majority of what people talk about. Plenty of sexual abuse of girls and of nuns
 
2022-05-07 7:43:56 PM  

darkman2000: "I learned it from you Father."

Seriously, that is what she would see the priest do with his chalice at every Mass, drink the whole contents. Of course, there's usually very little in there, for obvious reasons.
She probably never paid attention that everyone else just taking a little sip.


When I was an alter boy we knew which priest were the alcoholics by the amount of water they put in with their wine, they less water they used the more trippy they got.

When I tried some of the wine behind closed doors, it tasted pretty sweet.
 
2022-05-07 7:45:49 PM  
The first time I got drunk was on communion wine.
I grew up Episcopalian and was an alter boy, then when I was around 15 I was the guy handling the chalice. It was midnight mass on Christmas Eve and the church was packed. But, there were only about 15 people left to take communion, but the priest filled the big "holiday" chalice up to the brim. Must have been 3/4 a bottle of wine in that thing. I guess in his defense, the wine must be consumed as it cannot simply be poured out. There are rules for how the church deals with consecrated wine. 
Anyway, after having 15 parishioners take a sip, the chalice was still full. I went to hand it to the priest to consume. He shook his head and motioned for me to tip it back. So I did. I could see my mom's horrified face as I chugged that wine.
About 20 minutes later I was feeling quite good, but had to snuff out the candles. It must have been quite comical for the people watching as I missed each candle about 3 times. And there were a LOT of candles on Christmas Eve.
 
2022-05-07 7:46:31 PM  

Duck_of_Doom: CSS: apparently at my first communion, I turned to my mother and said "Jesus doesn't taste very good". My mother enjoyed telling that story. I only remember the pretty tiara I wore.


Funny enough they actually have a candy from Italy which has the wafer on the outside:
https://www.amazon.com/Ferrara-Traditional-Italian-Torrone-pieces/dp/B000MT65OE/ref=asc_df_B000MT65OE/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=312191487777&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=1627580819292855814&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9008150&hvtargid=pla-582512458202&psc=1
 
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