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(Slate)   "My kids won't clean up after themselves. Can I throw their toys away?"   (slate.com) divider line
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315 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 06 May 2022 at 6:13 AM (7 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



34 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-05-05 11:08:44 PM  
You can do a lot of things. Whether you should is a different matter.
 
2022-05-05 11:43:36 PM  
Sure you can throw their toys away! And completely abdicate your parental responsibilities. The boomers have got away with this kind of sh*t for decades.
 
2022-05-06 12:03:30 AM  
Listen to a podcast?! Lol I barely read these things.
 
2022-05-06 12:17:53 AM  
The thing about kids is they're usually just given toys. Not told where to put them. That's why some families will have playrooms/rumpas rooms with shelves and hampers to hold the playthings.
If their toys are contained within their bedroom, then provide them with a place to put them. Be it a closet, small dresser, under their bed, whatever.

Don't you EVER throw their toys away just because you're tired of picking them up! (And if you do, never tell them what you did... you piece of sh*t) All you will teach them is vindictiveness, and how to hold a grudge. That sh*t will carry forward in their minds for decades.
 
2022-05-06 12:45:12 AM  
You bought them, they're your toys
 
2022-05-06 2:41:59 AM  
Keep the toys, throw away the kids.
 
2022-05-06 2:43:59 AM  
Into the proper receptacle, of course!  There's no need to be inhumane about it.
 
2022-05-06 6:51:50 AM  
"Anything still on the floor in 10 minutes gets thrown away" is a common...inducement around here
 
2022-05-06 7:04:43 AM  
I have a small shop vac I use for picking up Legos.

I store them right in the bucket, when it gets too nasty, I add soap and water and agitate.
 
2022-05-06 7:08:30 AM  
When my daughter was little, we had a dog. The dog was trained to pick up her dog toys and put them in a basket. Anything my daughter left lying around was claimed by the dog and ended up in the dog's toy basket.
 
2022-05-06 7:10:43 AM  
I can remember being screamed at the day after Christmas to put away my new toys and saying, but where do they go?
My mom threw away my stuff because I wasn't perfect to her standards of neatness. My grandma freaked because all my drawers were not lined with nice paper. I'm in my 50s and they are dead and I'm still in therapy. (We won't go into what they did to me about eating and weight.)

Don't buy your kids so many toys. Get a nanny. Get a maid. Pack some toys away and rotate them. Or just grow up. You chose to have kids.
 
2022-05-06 7:34:45 AM  
Depends whether your significant other will undercut you and assure the kids that there will never be consequences.
 
2022-05-06 7:35:36 AM  
My method was to go through and collect anything in the way in a garbage bag.  I didn't throw it away though, I just put it in a closet or the basement or whatever until the kids asked for it back. If they didn't ask for it back, eventually it would be donated (if clean/good shape) or tossed.  Seemed to work, the kids don't leave much out now (granted, they're older and spend less time in the house) and I've reduced a lot of their clutter.

Now to figure out how to reduce my own pack rat bullshiat...
 
2022-05-06 7:47:10 AM  
One friend quietly picks up toys that have been left out and puts them in the attic.
If the kid doesn't ask about it, after three or four months it goes to charity.
 
2022-05-06 7:48:01 AM  

BMFPitt: Depends whether your significant other will undercut you and assure the kids that there will never be consequences.


This.
So much this.
 
2022-05-06 7:52:45 AM  
At a certain age you let the kid know, anything you've left on the floor after I've asked you to pick it up and either put it away, put it in the hamper, closet, or drawer and it's still there later in the day I'll just assume you don't want it anymore and it can be thrown away or can go in the donation bin. I'll help you eliminate this clutter.

You'll be amazed at how quickly things get picked up.
 
2022-05-06 8:13:10 AM  

Spawn_of_Cthulhu: I can remember being screamed at the day after Christmas to put away my new toys and saying, but where do they go?
My mom threw away my stuff because I wasn't perfect to her standards of neatness. My grandma freaked because all my drawers were not lined with nice paper. I'm in my 50s and they are dead and I'm still in therapy. (We won't go into what they did to me about eating and weight.)

Don't buy your kids so many toys. Get a nanny. Get a maid. Pack some toys away and rotate them. Or just grow up. You chose to have kids.


Parenting can be hard.
Being an thoughtless asshole is always easy.
 
2022-05-06 8:33:11 AM  

Gramma: When my daughter was little, we had a dog. The dog was trained to pick up her dog toys and put them in a basket. Anything my daughter left lying around was claimed by the dog and ended up in the dog's toy basket.


Such a good doggie!
 
2022-05-06 8:34:11 AM  
My wife and I have had discussions that went something like this:

me: You know, the kids have all outgrown this See 'n Say. We should just throw it away, or if it still works, we could donate it.
mrs. sandwich: We should ask them if they still want it.
me: No, because the answer will certainly be yes, no matter what, and then it'll continue to sit there untouched for God knows how much longer.
mrs. sandwich, later, to kids: Does anyone want that old See 'n Say?

So the damn thing continues to sit there untouched until the youngest kid graduates from high school and mrs. sandwich has to admit it's preposterous to keep it around any longer.
 
2022-05-06 8:43:18 AM  
Depends.  If it's a real toy given to them by you or someone else, then that's off-limits.  If it's the never ending detritus of "toys" that make their way into your house from Happy Meals, school, holidays, restaurants, etc. then sure.  Most parents are constantly chucking these crappy plastic trinkets in the trash and nobody notices.

Yes, I realize that there were those super-rare Happy Meal transformers from the 80s that are worth $4 a piece on eBay, but 99% of Happy Meal toys are crap.  They're somehow even worse than they used to be.  A lot of them are just trinkets that you're supposed to attach to your backpack.
 
2022-05-06 8:43:49 AM  
Obviously, I'm not listening to audio.  So generally speaking, I don't really have strong feelings about this, but it depends on the context.  Some toys become beloved, some kids have very few toys, some have hundreds of toys.  Age matters of course.

We were well off, but I had on average about four toys about at any given time.   Toys were given on Christmas and Birthday, never just randomly.  They didn't accumulate, because my mom threw them (donated them) out without any kind of fuss or drama every once in a while.  I rarely even noticed they were missing. if I asked where something was, I was told she got rid of my baby toys, and that was the end of it.  It wasn't a punishment. I didn't get upset about it.  It's just the way the universe worked.

If the parent is making a drama out of it, and throwing out the toy as a punishment, right in front of the kid's face, that seems rather dickish.  It's not the kids fault they have so very many toys that there's no place to even put them.  If you want to remove a handful, silently, that's a more reasonable proposition, maybe put those removed toys in another part of the house, in case you've removed a particularly beloved toy.
 
2022-05-06 8:49:07 AM  
In theory you're the adult and in charge, so you can throw away anything you want.
 
2022-05-06 8:52:50 AM  

Ker_Thwap: Obviously, I'm not listening to audio.  So generally speaking, I don't really have strong feelings about this, but it depends on the context.  Some toys become beloved, some kids have very few toys, some have hundreds of toys.  Age matters of course.

We were well off, but I had on average about four toys about at any given time.   Toys were given on Christmas and Birthday, never just randomly.  They didn't accumulate, because my mom threw them (donated them) out without any kind of fuss or drama every once in a while.  I rarely even noticed they were missing. if I asked where something was, I was told she got rid of my baby toys, and that was the end of it.  It wasn't a punishment. I didn't get upset about it.  It's just the way the universe worked.

If the parent is making a drama out of it, and throwing out the toy as a punishment, right in front of the kid's face, that seems rather dickish.  It's not the kids fault they have so very many toys that there's no place to even put them.  If you want to remove a handful, silently, that's a more reasonable proposition, maybe put those removed toys in another part of the house, in case you've removed a particularly beloved toy.


We donate toys that have been outgrown and we talk about how we're giving them to kids who might not have toys or as many toys.  We make a thing out of gathering all the pieces, cleaning them up, and taking them to Goodwill.  Some things are allowed to stay if they're still wanted badly enough and we don't say no if feelings are strong.

My wife and I do the same thing with our clothes.  Some things stay because they have sentimental value and can stay in the closet for years before one of us finally admits "Am I really going to wear this again?"
 
2022-05-06 8:56:33 AM  

Tom Marvolo Bombadil: Keep the toys, throw away the kids.


This is the correct answer.
 
2022-05-06 9:01:02 AM  

wet drum sandwich: My wife and I have had discussions that went something like this:

me: You know, the kids have all outgrown this See 'n Say. We should just throw it away, or if it still works, we could donate it.
mrs. sandwich: We should ask them if they still want it.
me: No, because the answer will certainly be yes, no matter what, and then it'll continue to sit there untouched for God knows how much longer.
mrs. sandwich, later, to kids: Does anyone want that old See 'n Say?

So the damn thing continues to sit there untouched until the youngest kid graduates from high school and mrs. sandwich has to admit it's preposterous to keep it around any longer.


Just disappear the f****** thing, she will get over it
 
2022-05-06 9:10:15 AM  

BMFPitt: Depends whether your significant other will undercut you and assure the kids that there will never be consequences.


I farking bought them and throwing them away just so you can bully a small child without consulting me is stealing
 
2022-05-06 9:46:42 AM  
On a vaguely related note, the neighborhood yardsale is next Saturday. It's been a good five years or so since the last time we participated. Bins and stacks of Paw Patrol, baby stuff and all manner of young children's toys will be taken out the door, never to return. It's like inverted Christmas or something. Can't wait.

/of course, my wife, who complains endlessly about the amount of clutter in the house, has begun protesting getting rid of the junk on "sentimental" grounds.
 
2022-05-06 9:52:54 AM  
Put all the toys in trash bags and when the brats wonder where their toys went, tell them you cleaned their room and put their toys in the trash.  However, they are still in bags in the house because you haven't taken them to the outside cans yet.  If they want their toys back, they can retrieve the toys from the trash bags and put them away, and they won't be so lucky next time.
 
2022-05-06 10:09:35 AM  
Throw away the lazy partner, obviously.  The kids will get the hint PDQ.
 
2022-05-06 12:48:26 PM  

debug: In theory you're the adult and in charge, so you can throw away anything you want.


Including the child.
 
2022-05-06 1:11:13 PM  
Whatever you decide to do, and no matter how it works out, at least you will know you had Slate's blessing.
 
2022-05-06 4:16:47 PM  
It's worth making it easy for the kids. Like, don't make it so they all have to be carefully shelved or something like that- it's a monumental task for a five year old to get all their worldly goods (or at least that's how it feels to them) and sort them out. Just have a large box somewhere. No need for the kid to laboriously sort everything. Just drop everything in the bin.

Yeah, they need to learn how to put things neatly away and all that. But that gets easier as they get old enough to think more long-term than a five year old can.
 
2022-05-06 4:26:04 PM  

Stephen_Falken: Sure you can throw their toys away! And completely abdicate your parental responsibilities. The boomers have got away with this kind of sh*t for decades.


Did your mommy or daddy throw away your favorite Barbie doll because you didn't put your toys away?
 
2022-05-06 8:30:14 PM  

Stephen_Falken: Sure you can throw their toys away! And completely abdicate your parental responsibilities. The boomers have got away with this kind of sh*t for decades.


Cry baby
Youtube -4QfHdcMeEc
 
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