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(Deslidefied)   These are the most painful deaths according to science. Jesus, that's a painful death   (deslide.clusterfake.net) divider line
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1101 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 14 Apr 2022 at 7:50 AM (16 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-04-14 8:10:51 AM  
My mom is a retired RN who worked at a hospital. She always said she would rather have bone cancer than die of emphysema.
 
2022-04-14 8:13:23 AM  
Also: List fails without mention of Snu Snu.
 
2022-04-14 8:17:33 AM  
Well, at least it gets you out in the open air...
 
2022-04-14 8:23:25 AM  
I'm pretty sure the most painful way to die is that you're hanging off of the top of an elevator and some guy holds on to your arms so that they are torn off by the floor above causing you to fall the rest of the way down the shaft to your death.

And then he styles on you.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-04-14 8:34:03 AM  

Nick Nostril: My mom is a retired RN who worked at a hospital. She always said she would rather have bone cancer than die of emphysema.


Having had several relatives die at least partially from COPD, I agree with you.

/ Don't smoke, Kids
 
2022-04-14 8:36:51 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-04-14 8:50:59 AM  
Great, now I don't want to die.
 
2022-04-14 9:04:43 AM  
That article didn't feel very scientifical
 
2022-04-14 9:16:34 AM  
i thought being digested for a thousand years in the sarlacc pit would be on the list. boba fett does not approve
 
2022-04-14 9:25:58 AM  

sorceror: [Fark user image 740x217]


I answered "6" once for a hangnail on my big toe. In my defense, my basis for picking that number is that it made walking pretty difficult and the kid was insistent that I pick a number.

Anyways, my medical chart now says "drug seeking tendencies" on it.  Geez, why don't you just tell me the number you wanted, doc?

/this is what I get for going to a teaching clinic
 
2022-04-14 9:26:47 AM  
Crucifixion?
Yes.
Good. One cross each, line forms on the left.
j.gifs.comView Full Size
 
2022-04-14 9:35:22 AM  

sorceror: [Fark user image 740x217]


I did pretty much this for my kidney stone.  I was doubled over, puking in pain badly enough I blew blood vessels in my eye and they asked the 1-10 scale question.

I did say 7 at least: they seemed surprised until I gave virtually the same answer
 
2022-04-14 9:36:48 AM  
No mention of falling feet first into a grinder/mulcher?
 
2022-04-14 9:39:39 AM  

MusicMakeMyHeadPound: sorceror: [Fark user image 740x217]

I answered "6" once for a hangnail on my big toe. In my defense, my basis for picking that number is that it made walking pretty difficult and the kid was insistent that I pick a number.

Anyways, my medical chart now says "drug seeking tendencies" on it.  Geez, why don't you just tell me the number you wanted, doc?

/this is what I get for going to a teaching clinic


I have that, too.  After legitimately breaking my spine, and I couldn't walk, my dad was holding me over a bucket to do my business.  I got the ambulance twice, then a flight for life, I am reliant on my cane and walker, and if I ask for anything I'm a drug-seeker.
 
2022-04-14 9:49:04 AM  

MissFeasance: MusicMakeMyHeadPound: sorceror: [Fark user image 740x217]

I answered "6" once for a hangnail on my big toe. In my defense, my basis for picking that number is that it made walking pretty difficult and the kid was insistent that I pick a number.

Anyways, my medical chart now says "drug seeking tendencies" on it.  Geez, why don't you just tell me the number you wanted, doc?

/this is what I get for going to a teaching clinic

I have that, too.  After legitimately breaking my spine, and I couldn't walk, my dad was holding me over a bucket to do my business.  I got the ambulance twice, then a flight for life, I am reliant on my cane and walker, and if I ask for anything I'm a drug-seeker.


I feel like there's a fundamental difference in our situations. I can see how my actions could be easily misconstrued. In your case, though, Jesus Christ - that's what the drugs are for.
 
2022-04-14 9:56:46 AM  
I would think tarring and feathering, being tortured on the rack, a Judas cradle, getting slowly sliced in half, or getting eaten alive by bugs would be more painful than a lethal injection.
 
2022-04-14 10:00:46 AM  

MusicMakeMyHeadPound: Jesus Christ - that's what the drugs are for.


Yup.  I can get around pretty normally if I have a pain blocker, though I have to be careful about what I'm lifting.  I'm basically home-bound, because OMG OPIOIDS.  I managed to get five to get me through moving, and I've been with that doctor for seven years.
 
2022-04-14 10:02:03 AM  
Over the past 20 years my wife has undergone 8 major abdominal surgeries and 50+ wound debridements and still lives with an open wound (long sad story). Her pain tolerance is now very high and has had to take so many pain killers over the years that she reached the point where she can take 2 Norco 10/325 and be able to drive.

When she broke her wrist her friend drove her to the hospital. The ER doc asked what her pain level was and she said 4. The doc looked at her funny. Her friend explained that my wife has a high pain tolerance. The doc nodded and started examining her wrist. When he was feeling along the wrist my wife winced a little bit. The doc got bug-eyed and said he could feel the bones grinding together and she should have been screaming in pain. My wife shrugged and said, "Yeah it hurts but I've had worse."
 
2022-04-14 10:05:31 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-04-14 10:57:54 AM  

MusicMakeMyHeadPound: sorceror: [Fark user image 740x217]

I answered "6" once for a hangnail on my big toe. In my defense, my basis for picking that number is that it made walking pretty difficult and the kid was insistent that I pick a number.

Anyways, my medical chart now says "drug seeking tendencies" on it. Geez, why don't you just tell me the number you wanted, doc?

/this is what I get for going to a teaching clinic


I once told the doc I usually have 2-3 glasses of wine with dinner.  My chart now says "alcohol problems."  And, of course, if/when rescission ever comes back into vogue, if I were to have some kind of disease the insurance companies could go "oh, he's a boozer, we better not pay for his care coz he deserved what he got!"
 
2022-04-14 11:39:28 AM  
Well, most painful plebian ways to die, anyway. None of these are anything close to true artistry of suffering. Heck, just in my basement I have four or five implements that would - aw crap. Workers are bugging me, I'll finish the story in a few.
 
2022-04-14 11:57:27 AM  
stomach and bone cancers missing from list as is say being eaten alive by bullet ants.

list is stupid.
 
2022-04-14 12:48:59 PM  

Wasilla Hillbilly: That article didn't feel very scientifical


Here's a scientist's take on the last item from that article.

https://www.science.org/content/blog-post/sand-won-t-save-you-time
 
2022-04-14 12:58:08 PM  
Is a ghost pepper oil injection on the list?
 
2022-04-14 1:17:07 PM  
Covered in honey, wrapped in linen bonds, and set out on a pond in a shallow draft skiff.

Apparently it takes over a week for the flies, hunger, and thirst to kill you.
 
2022-04-14 1:30:22 PM  
Wait....what? I always heard drowning was one of the best ways to go...

/ would still prefer helium or carbon monoixide
 
2022-04-14 1:34:50 PM  

xanadian: MusicMakeMyHeadPound: sorceror: [Fark user image 740x217]

I answered "6" once for a hangnail on my big toe. In my defense, my basis for picking that number is that it made walking pretty difficult and the kid was insistent that I pick a number.

Anyways, my medical chart now says "drug seeking tendencies" on it. Geez, why don't you just tell me the number you wanted, doc?

/this is what I get for going to a teaching clinic

I once told the doc I usually have 2-3 glasses of wine with dinner.  My chart now says "alcohol problems."  And, of course, if/when rescission ever comes back into vogue, if I were to have some kind of disease the insurance companies could go "oh, he's a boozer, we better not pay for his care coz he deserved what he got!"


I have that too. FWIW, there've been studies showing liver damage from alcohol consumption that was once thought to be a "safe" quantity. And the problem with liver damage is that by the time it shows up in blood work, it's already way too late.

I have  "Illicit drug user" also, due to admitting marijuana use. It's no longer illegal here but it's still right there on my chart (which I can view by online portal).

I get the clinical significance but it still feels so... Puritan.
 
2022-04-14 1:40:55 PM  
I saw a documentary once where a guy was shot in the leg with an arrow by an Indian. By the time he sought treatment, it had turned gangrenous and spread throughout his body. By then, it was too late to amputate just the one leg. He died a miserable, prolonged death. He was lucky his friend Woodrow Call showed up before he died.
 
2022-04-14 3:18:55 PM  

Yellow Beard: I saw a documentary once where a guy was shot in the leg with an arrow by an Indian. By the time he sought treatment, it had turned gangrenous and spread throughout his body. By then, it was too late to amputate just the one leg. He died a miserable, prolonged death. He was lucky his friend Woodrow Call showed up before he died.


sepsis?
 
2022-04-14 6:08:08 PM  
They didn't mention Vlad the Impaler.
 
2022-04-14 10:18:57 PM  

MusicMakeMyHeadPound: sorceror: [Fark user image 740x217]

I answered "6" once for a hangnail on my big toe. In my defense, my basis for picking that number is that it made walking pretty difficult and the kid was insistent that I pick a number.

Anyways, my medical chart now says "drug seeking tendencies" on it.  Geez, why don't you just tell me the number you wanted, doc?

/this is what I get for going to a teaching clinic


Yeah, I hate that scale. Pain is subjective. Also, you can hurt like a motherfarker and actually tune some of the pain out. Then, when you talk to the doctor you have the opposite problem, it's then artificially low.

Some kinds of pain I can take. I did stitches without lidocaine once because I can't stand the way they jab the needle in to spread the shiat around. That was perfectly fine. But the damn lidocaine needle poking around where I'm already injured? Nope!

I'd really love to invent a machine where you can show someone just how something hurts, where it is, and how badly it hurts. Still kit perfect, since the other person son may have a high pain tolerance, but it would be better than trying to explain how it feels and trying to convince them how badly it hurts.

But I have fears that it would be used for torture, so that keeps me awake at night...
 
2022-04-14 10:27:06 PM  

TheGreatGazoo: I would think tarring and feathering, being tortured on the rack, a Judas cradle, getting slowly sliced in half, or getting eaten alive by bugs would be more painful than a lethal injection.


Impaling. That was painful. Plenty of torture and execution methods were brutal. Beheadings were never as clean as in the movies. Hanging was a 30-45 minute process. Then you have the rack, stoning, being broken in the wheel, keel hauling, the Brazen Bull, and pressing, just to name a few.

Lethal injection is actually supposed to be painless, is the reason it most likely made the list. But I bet it pales in comparison to having a sharpened stake shoved up your ass, and then have it being placed upright, as you slowly slide down and the stake works through you. When they did it right, it could take a day or two

People were amazingly brutal back in the day. The fact that we stopped having public executions, made execution a rare punishment, and started actually applying science (the work done in hanging alone was a huge advance in humane executions, as weird as that may sind), is a real mark of becoming civilized. We stopped treating execution as a public spectacle and a form of of revenge, and made it a "final choice" thing that we try to avoid.
 
2022-04-14 10:31:30 PM  

Mikey1969: Then you have the rack, stoning, being broken in the wheel, keel hauling, the Brazen Bull, and pressing, just to name a few.


How can you get through all that and neglect scaphism?
 
2022-04-14 10:32:06 PM  

Slypork: Over the past 20 years my wife has undergone 8 major abdominal surgeries and 50+ wound debridements and still lives with an open wound (long sad story). Her pain tolerance is now very high and has had to take so many pain killers over the years that she reached the point where she can take 2 Norco 10/325 and be able to drive.

When she broke her wrist her friend drove her to the hospital. The ER doc asked what her pain level was and she said 4. The doc looked at her funny. Her friend explained that my wife has a high pain tolerance. The doc nodded and started examining her wrist. When he was feeling along the wrist my wife winced a little bit. The doc got bug-eyed and said he could feel the bones grinding together and she should have been screaming in pain. My wife shrugged and said, "Yeah it hurts but I've had worse."


Yeah, my chemical tolerance is both a blessing and a curse. Sure, I could pop hydrocodobe all say and function perfectly. I think one night on a trip to Vegas, I had booze (Vegas), benadryl, at least 4 of the hydrocodobe I was in, plus two muscle relaxers. I drifted off for a second soaking in the tub and dropped my Nook in the water. That was it. I could have gone out and been perfectly fine.

It sucks though, because with something like pot, I can't stand smoking it, so I have gummies. But if I have it too frequently, I need more and more to get any effect. I but the high strength gummies now. I started with 10 mg a dose, and now I'll take 4 of the 50 mg ones sometimes and still can have almost no oticrable effect. The opiods don't even give me the kick ass waking dreams they used to. Nothing...
 
2022-04-14 10:32:35 PM  

Mikey1969: MusicMakeMyHeadPound: sorceror: [Fark user image 740x217]

I answered "6" once for a hangnail on my big toe. In my defense, my basis for picking that number is that it made walking pretty difficult and the kid was insistent that I pick a number.

Anyways, my medical chart now says "drug seeking tendencies" on it.  Geez, why don't you just tell me the number you wanted, doc?

/this is what I get for going to a teaching clinic

Yeah, I hate that scale. Pain is subjective. Also, you can hurt like a motherfarker and actually tune some of the pain out. Then, when you talk to the doctor you have the opposite problem, it's then artificially low.

Some kinds of pain I can take. I did stitches without lidocaine once because I can't stand the way they jab the needle in to spread the shiat around. That was perfectly fine. But the damn lidocaine needle poking around where I'm already injured? Nope!

I'd really love to invent a machine where you can show someone just how something hurts, where it is, and how badly it hurts. Still kit perfect, since the other person son may have a high pain tolerance, but it would be better than trying to explain how it feels and trying to convince them how badly it hurts.

But I have fears that it would be used for torture, so that keeps me awake at night...


Last time I was in the ER they'd swapped out the "faces" pain scale in favor of objective descriptions which were a lot easier to match with what I was feeling, similar to these:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-04-14 10:35:30 PM  

common sense is an oxymoron: Mikey1969: MusicMakeMyHeadPound: sorceror: [Fark user image 740x217]

I answered "6" once for a hangnail on my big toe. In my defense, my basis for picking that number is that it made walking pretty difficult and the kid was insistent that I pick a number.

Anyways, my medical chart now says "drug seeking tendencies" on it.  Geez, why don't you just tell me the number you wanted, doc?

/this is what I get for going to a teaching clinic

Yeah, I hate that scale. Pain is subjective. Also, you can hurt like a motherfarker and actually tune some of the pain out. Then, when you talk to the doctor you have the opposite problem, it's then artificially low.

Some kinds of pain I can take. I did stitches without lidocaine once because I can't stand the way they jab the needle in to spread the shiat around. That was perfectly fine. But the damn lidocaine needle poking around where I'm already injured? Nope!

I'd really love to invent a machine where you can show someone just how something hurts, where it is, and how badly it hurts. Still kit perfect, since the other person son may have a high pain tolerance, but it would be better than trying to explain how it feels and trying to convince them how badly it hurts.

But I have fears that it would be used for torture, so that keeps me awake at night...

Last time I was in the ER they'd swapped out the "faces" pain scale in favor of objective descriptions which were a lot easier to match with what I was feeling, similar to these:

[Fark user image 743x1200]


Oh. Now I'm mad. 6 actually perfectly describes what I was feeling.  That little sh*t!
 
2022-04-14 10:38:17 PM  

common sense is an oxymoron: Wasilla Hillbilly: That article didn't feel very scientifical

Here's a scientist's take on the last item from that article.

https://www.science.org/content/blog-post/sand-won-t-save-you-time


Wow, sounds as nasty as white phosphorus. Just burns until it's out of fuel, no matter what you try.

Note: Actually, it looks like they are related chemicals. If I'm reading this par correctly: White phosphorus is then oxidised to phosphorus trichloride with elemental chlorine...

https://www.chemistryworld.com/news/alternative-pathway-to-phosphorus-compounds-skips-white-phosphorus/3008638.article
 
2022-04-14 10:40:07 PM  

MusicMakeMyHeadPound: Mikey1969: Then you have the rack, stoning, being broken in the wheel, keel hauling, the Brazen Bull, and pressing, just to name a few.

How can you get through all that and neglect scaphism?


I missed that one, not familiar with it, but I purposely only mentioned a few... We don't have that much space on Fark to list ways of dying more painful than half of the is shiat.
 
2022-04-14 10:41:07 PM  

common sense is an oxymoron: Mikey1969: MusicMakeMyHeadPound: sorceror: [Fark user image 740x217]

I answered "6" once for a hangnail on my big toe. In my defense, my basis for picking that number is that it made walking pretty difficult and the kid was insistent that I pick a number.

Anyways, my medical chart now says "drug seeking tendencies" on it.  Geez, why don't you just tell me the number you wanted, doc?

/this is what I get for going to a teaching clinic

Yeah, I hate that scale. Pain is subjective. Also, you can hurt like a motherfarker and actually tune some of the pain out. Then, when you talk to the doctor you have the opposite problem, it's then artificially low.

Some kinds of pain I can take. I did stitches without lidocaine once because I can't stand the way they jab the needle in to spread the shiat around. That was perfectly fine. But the damn lidocaine needle poking around where I'm already injured? Nope!

I'd really love to invent a machine where you can show someone just how something hurts, where it is, and how badly it hurts. Still kit perfect, since the other person son may have a high pain tolerance, but it would be better than trying to explain how it feels and trying to convince them how badly it hurts.

But I have fears that it would be used for torture, so that keeps me awake at night...

Last time I was in the ER they'd swapped out the "faces" pain scale in favor of objective descriptions which were a lot easier to match with what I was feeling, similar to these:

[Fark user image image 743x1200]


THAT is a really great reworking of that chart. Much better. My hospital needs this.
 
2022-04-15 1:35:37 AM  
This list is bogus.  "Getting Married" isn't on it.
 
2022-04-15 3:15:02 AM  

Unobtanium: Crucifixion?
Yes.
Good. One cross each, line forms on the left.
[j.gifs.com image 565x270] [View Full Size image _x_]


img.gifglobe.comView Full Size
 
2022-04-15 3:34:44 AM  
i.ytimg.comView Full Size
 
2022-04-15 9:19:45 AM  

ltdanman44: Yellow Beard: I saw a documentary once where a guy was shot in the leg with an arrow by an Indian. By the time he sought treatment, it had turned gangrenous and spread throughout his body. By then, it was too late to amputate just the one leg. He died a miserable, prolonged death. He was lucky his friend Woodrow Call showed up before he died.

sepsis?


No. Lonesome Dove
 
2022-04-15 9:24:00 AM  

casey17: Wait....what? I always heard drowning was one of the best ways to go...

/ would still prefer helium or carbon monoixide


It looks peaceful, but you're conscious for a long time

well...long enough
 
2022-04-15 9:25:45 AM  

common sense is an oxymoron: Mikey1969: MusicMakeMyHeadPound: sorceror: [Fark user image 740x217]

I answered "6" once for a hangnail on my big toe. In my defense, my basis for picking that number is that it made walking pretty difficult and the kid was insistent that I pick a number.

Anyways, my medical chart now says "drug seeking tendencies" on it.  Geez, why don't you just tell me the number you wanted, doc?

/this is what I get for going to a teaching clinic

Yeah, I hate that scale. Pain is subjective. Also, you can hurt like a motherfarker and actually tune some of the pain out. Then, when you talk to the doctor you have the opposite problem, it's then artificially low.

Some kinds of pain I can take. I did stitches without lidocaine once because I can't stand the way they jab the needle in to spread the shiat around. That was perfectly fine. But the damn lidocaine needle poking around where I'm already injured? Nope!

I'd really love to invent a machine where you can show someone just how something hurts, where it is, and how badly it hurts. Still kit perfect, since the other person son may have a high pain tolerance, but it would be better than trying to explain how it feels and trying to convince them how badly it hurts.

But I have fears that it would be used for torture, so that keeps me awake at night...

Last time I was in the ER they'd swapped out the "faces" pain scale in favor of objective descriptions which were a lot easier to match with what I was feeling, similar to these:

[Fark user image 743x1200]


The prescription is still the same for each number: OxyContin
 
2022-04-15 12:32:41 PM  
Nobody heard him, the dead man,
But still he lay moaning:
I was much further out than you thought
And not waving but drowning.

Poor chap, he always loved larking
And now he's dead
It must have been too cold for him his heart gave way,
They said.

Oh, no no no, it was too cold always
(Still the dead one lay moaning)
I was much too far out all my life
And not waving but drowning.

Stevie Smith

Some methods take longer than others.
 
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