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(CNBC)   JPMorgan says all this mean old Russia stuff has gone and hurt its fee-fees and now it's making sad profits and you should feel bad for us   ( divider line
    More: Followup, Washington Mutual, Bank of America, Debt, Loan, Inflation, Jamie Dimon, Monetary policy, Credit card  
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613 clicks; posted to Business » on 13 Apr 2022 at 9:50 AM (41 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook

12 Comments     (+0 »)
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2022-04-13 9:17:08 AM  
Sounds to me like they should advise their clients to get their sh*t together and get rid of the guy causing this whole mess then.
2022-04-13 9:25:14 AM  
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2022-04-13 9:26:01 AM  
Let's sanction them for doing business with a blood thirsty dictator to begin with.
2022-04-13 9:27:04 AM  

Nah'mean: [Fark user image 509x339]

Aiding and abetting genocide should be the charge filed against all companies still operating in Russia..
2022-04-13 9:42:31 AM  
How much money have they lost from the death of Hitler?
/Goodwin morning y'all
2022-04-13 9:43:53 AM  
A $524 million loss will somewhat decrease profits in the current quarter.

Not much, in relative terms.

This is a company that pays billion dollar fines here and there without a hiccup in its stock price. One or two bankers on Park Avenue will get chewed out. A couple of their analysts will be fired as a penalty.

Then it will be time to talk about the Summer reading list, tennis tickets, and the divide & conquer plan for making the rounds at Hamptons parties this season.
2022-04-13 10:15:18 AM  
It's an earnings call. It's all about lowering expectations so that they can beat the analyst projections next quarter.
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2022-04-13 10:26:31 AM  
Time for a BAILOUT!
2022-04-13 10:55:19 AM  
So we thought we'd be paying you $2.76 per share of free money this month.

Sorry we have to pay you seven cents less.

I'm sure you understand that actually having borders mean something in Europe is worth it.
2022-04-13 3:12:29 PM  
*reads article*. *Realizes the fark headline has almost nothing to do with said article*, *wishes once against for a "punch submitter in the grundle" fark premium feature.
2022-04-13 3:24:38 PM  
Current quarter's net income was a "disappointing" $8.3billion, for reference, here. ($14billion same quarter 2021).

$524million is no more than a "harrumph" in that boardroom, particularly when related to a war.
2022-04-14 7:04:45 AM  
When JP Morgan talks, Kermit listens

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