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(WSBTV)   Emory University: Oh you haven't gotten your Covid booster shot well enjoy your dial-up speed internet. Follow up: "about half the students who had not had the booster then got it or requested an exemption after the program began"   (wsbtv.com) divider line
    More: Amusing, Vaccination, The Emory Wheel, Booster dose, Emory University, Internet, Amir St. Clair, Wi-Fi, internet access  
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2281 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Apr 2022 at 3:24 PM (12 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



27 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-04-09 3:27:19 PM  
My alma mater!
 
2022-04-09 3:27:36 PM  
Exemption, eh?
Ok.  Here's your academic hish speed internet back.*


Streaming game and video services exempt.
 
2022-04-09 3:28:30 PM  
Not hish..."high".

Note to self, don't voice to text when day drinking.
 
2022-04-09 3:28:40 PM  
It's almost as if economic leverage works.
 
2022-04-09 3:33:11 PM  
You all laughed, but here's proof getting 5G-vaxxed does improve your internet speed.
 
2022-04-09 3:35:04 PM  

Chthonic Echoes: You all laughed, but here's proof getting 5G-vaxxed does improve your internet speed.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-04-09 3:35:58 PM  

Chthonic Echoes: You all laughed, but here's proof getting 5G-vaxxed does improve your internet speed.


I didn't laugh.

I'm so lefty liberal that I support hunting the unvaccinated with tranq darts filled with vaccine.

I also wouldn't punish anyone with dial up internet.

I lived it, but I don't know if I survived it.
 
2022-04-09 3:39:04 PM  
Toe the line motherfarkers. This aint your Mommas basement. We are here to prepare you for the real world and train you for real jobs where you will do shiat you do not want to do. Is that clear, bish? Or do you need more time with AOL to decide?
 
2022-04-09 3:40:57 PM  
Internet denial always worked with my kids.
 
2022-04-09 4:16:13 PM  

king of vegas: My alma mater!


Ditto. Attended during in a previous millennium when computers were room sized. :)
 
2022-04-09 4:22:33 PM  
Thought the latest science was young healthy college age didn't need boosted
 
2022-04-09 4:26:27 PM  

Nirbo: I'm so lefty liberal that I support hunting the unvaccinated with tranq darts filled with vaccine.


You have given me a million dlar idea . Possibly a billion dollar idea if you include the social good it would do. Closed area "safaris" where rich hunters could go and use dart guns and heroin filled darts to consensually "hunt" human heroin addicts.
Sell it as a high end Safari where hunters get to pursue the world cleverest and dangerous and most taboo big game without risking prison but still risking cuts and bruises and what have you. From the junkies perspective it would be steady work, a decent career with good wages that offers safer and better conditions than the streets but which is still very welcoming of heroin addicts.  A job that needs their unique skillset  evry bit as much as their unique skillset needs work. Societtally it keeps the poor junkies and rich hunters both from doing worse things to the rest of us and he world at large while thy are on safari.

I think I have figured out one of the main systematic problems that would immediately arise on the first Safari if not addressed beforehand. How do you keep the junkies, (who are meant o be running away from tjhe hunter and challenging his skills and boosting his macho ego) from crowding the hunter and flinging themselve in front of other junkies to take that sweet sweetdart and make sleepy boy happy?.We would only load the darts with a small percentage of the junkies daily dose. But every junky colleague/associate safari floor worker making it to the end of the workday without being darted would recieve a bonus of 15 days worth of heroine and a certificate of congratulations andp[oints towards employee of the month and year competitions. Other p[roblems lie bag and daily limits forhunters could be solved more slowly on an as-needed basis
 
2022-04-09 4:29:04 PM  

WillofJ2: Thought the latest science was young healthy college age didn't need boosted


That is not as important as breaking their spirit and bending their will until they obey people in charge out of sheer habit. College is their last chance to learn this i a semi painless fashion
 
2022-04-09 4:31:23 PM  

mikaloyd: Nirbo: I'm so lefty liberal that I support hunting the unvaccinated with tranq darts filled with vaccine.

You have given me a million dlar idea . Possibly a billion dollar idea if you include the social good it would do. Closed area "safaris" where rich hunters could go and use dart guns and heroin filled darts to consensually "hunt" human heroin addicts.
Sell it as a high end Safari where hunters get to pursue the world cleverest and dangerous and most taboo big game without risking prison but still risking cuts and bruises and what have you. From the junkies perspective it would be steady work, a decent career with good wages that offers safer and better conditions than the streets but which is still very welcoming of heroin addicts.  A job that needs their unique skillset  evry bit as much as their unique skillset needs work. Societtally it keeps the poor junkies and rich hunters both from doing worse things to the rest of us and he world at large while thy are on safari.

I think I have figured out one of the main systematic problems that would immediately arise on the first Safari if not addressed beforehand. How do you keep the junkies, (who are meant o be running away from tjhe hunter and challenging his skills and boosting his macho ego) from crowding the hunter and flinging themselve in front of other junkies to take that sweet sweetdart and make sleepy boy happy?.We would only load the darts with a small percentage of the junkies daily dose. But every junky colleague/associate safari floor worker making it to the end of the workday without being darted would recieve a bonus of 15 days worth of heroine and a certificate of congratulations andp[oints towards employee of the month and year competitions. Other p[roblems lie bag and daily limits forhunters could be solved more slowly on an as-needed basis


I'm skeptical, but I passed on Bitcoin so I'm in.
 
2022-04-09 4:45:48 PM  
A donut shop I used to go to had a problem with people using their wifi all day.  Then one day, all of the leeches disappeared. The shop had installed a new router that could reduce the connection speed, the longer a device was connected the slower it got.
 
2022-04-09 4:58:40 PM  

natazha: A donut shop I used to go to had a problem with people using their wifi all day.  Then one day, all of the leeches disappeared. The shop had installed a new router that could reduce the connection speed, the longer a device was connected the slower it got.


Good plan. Rotating mac addresses would probably beat it, but how many macbook owners can do that?
 
2022-04-09 5:03:05 PM  

mikaloyd: Nirbo: I'm so lefty liberal that I support hunting the unvaccinated with tranq darts filled with vaccine.

You have given me a million dlar idea . Possibly a billion dollar idea if you include the social good it would do. Closed area "safaris" where rich hunters could go and use dart guns and heroin filled darts to consensually "hunt" human heroin addicts.
Sell it as a high end Safari where hunters get to pursue the world cleverest and dangerous and most taboo big game without risking prison but still risking cuts and bruises and what have you. From the junkies perspective it would be steady work, a decent career with good wages that offers safer and better conditions than the streets but which is still very welcoming of heroin addicts.  A job that needs their unique skillset  evry bit as much as their unique skillset needs work. Societtally it keeps the poor junkies and rich hunters both from doing worse things to the rest of us and he world at large while thy are on safari.

I think I have figured out one of the main systematic problems that would immediately arise on the first Safari if not addressed beforehand. How do you keep the junkies, (who are meant o be running away from tjhe hunter and challenging his skills and boosting his macho ego) from crowding the hunter and flinging themselve in front of other junkies to take that sweet sweetdart and make sleepy boy happy?.We would only load the darts with a small percentage of the junkies daily dose. But every junky colleague/associate safari floor worker making it to the end of the workday without being darted would recieve a bonus of 15 days worth of heroine and a certificate of congratulations andp[oints towards employee of the month and year competitions. Other p[roblems lie bag and daily limits forhunters could be solved more slowly on an as-needed basis


Junkies are self-proven as having lack of impulse controls and no understanding of delayed gratification, you'd still end up with the junkies mobbing the hunters to take the gun and empty the clip into their own arm.

You just need to modify the reward/penalty scale:  If you survive the day you get your bounty of heroine, but the hunters are using real ammo and rifles, to be caught is to be killed.  And if you some how run out of junkies you can easily substitute them with any other social plague of addicts with tailored rewards to entice them into the gamble.  Just imagine a world where elephants are no longer hunted because Mcdonald's is providing the winnings for this season's running man show.

You could also broaden the customer base beyond rich psychopaths and maybe lure some educational dollars with team hunts.  I want to live in a world where we can pay to watch a pack of grade schoolers stalking and killing online audience addicts in their natural habitat.
 
2022-04-09 5:03:27 PM  

Nirbo: mikaloyd: Nirbo: I'm so lefty liberal that I support hunting the unvaccinated with tranq darts filled with vaccine.

You have given me a million dlar idea . Possibly a billion dollar idea if you include the social good it would do. Closed area "safaris" where rich hunters could go and use dart guns and heroin filled darts to consensually "hunt" human heroin addicts.
Sell it as a high end Safari where hunters get to pursue the world cleverest and dangerous and most taboo big game without risking prison but still risking cuts and bruises and what have you. From the junkies perspective it would be steady work, a decent career with good wages that offers safer and better conditions than the streets but which is still very welcoming of heroin addicts.  A job that needs their unique skillset  evry bit as much as their unique skillset needs work. Societtally it keeps the poor junkies and rich hunters both from doing worse things to the rest of us and he world at large while thy are on safari.

I think I have figured out one of the main systematic problems that would immediately arise on the first Safari if not addressed beforehand. How do you keep the junkies, (who are meant o be running away from tjhe hunter and challenging his skills and boosting his macho ego) from crowding the hunter and flinging themselve in front of other junkies to take that sweet sweetdart and make sleepy boy happy?.We would only load the darts with a small percentage of the junkies daily dose. But every junky colleague/associate safari floor worker making it to the end of the workday without being darted would recieve a bonus of 15 days worth of heroine and a certificate of congratulations andp[oints towards employee of the month and year competitions. Other p[roblems lie bag and daily limits forhunters could be solved more slowly on an as-needed basis

I'm skeptical, but I passed on Bitcoin so I'm in.


We. of course, would need to start somewhat slowly but I envision eventual teired level safaris. Starting with a basic 6 hour guided hunt plus a continenal breakfast and  high tea/ apes hunt campfire BS session to discuss the days events in the 15 thousand dollar range. But eventually rising to 7+1 setup day Safaris with full compliments of porters and bearers and drivers and a tent compound featuring full 5 star Michelin chefs and staff in the dining tent area. At the high end teirs and even at some mid ranges we would offer exciting choices such as whether or not to have individual or teamed junkies attempting to steal things from the hunters compound after sunset. At this teir those who ask how much it costs cannot afford it but I think we could accomodate expectations of luxury and excitenent for our guests without risking profit for ourselves without charging over 5 million dollars per couple. Married or mistress we dont care and we wont tell
 
2022-04-09 5:10:58 PM  

Nirbo: Chthonic Echoes: You all laughed, but here's proof getting 5G-vaxxed does improve your internet speed.

I didn't laugh.

I'm so lefty liberal that I support hunting the unvaccinated with tranq darts filled with vaccine.

I also wouldn't punish anyone with dial up internet.

I lived it, but I don't know if I survived it.


Man, I grew up with dial up.

It was 10 cents per minute, not-adjusted for inflation. :/

First DSL in Denmark was 64kbit/sec., 100+USD per month, but imagine being almost online. Unlimited transfer, wow.
 
2022-04-09 5:11:39 PM  

BumpInTheNight: Junkies are self-proven as having lack of impulse controls and no understanding of delayed gratification, you'd still end up with the junkies mobbing the hunters to take the gun and empty the clip into their own arm.


You are describing crack addiction better than heroin addiction. Heroin/opium has a centuries long history of addicts both holding jobs and being enslaved to work for their fix by others. Given the right circumstances heroin addicts can be as productive as an average person, and even more productive than, say, me. Dont believe every thing you have seen on Starsky and Hutch regarding heroin.
 
2022-04-09 5:51:54 PM  
If they're going to start kicking idiots off the internet, this place is doomed.
 
2022-04-09 6:22:47 PM  

king of vegas: My alma mater!


Fellow Emoroid? 02'C.

/set myself as deceased the first unsolicited alumni donation request I received
//f you, B. Jones center
///also live FLL now
 
2022-04-09 6:30:31 PM  

natazha: A donut shop I used to go to had a problem with people using their wifi all day.  Then one day, all of the leeches disappeared. The shop had installed a new router that could reduce the connection speed, the longer a device was connected the slower it got.


You get a code on your receipt good for "X" minutes of wifi. Then you need to buy something else (of cost $Y or more) to get a new code. 'X' is decreased during high traffic times (Sat & Sun) to prevent hogging of tables.
 
2022-04-09 6:53:21 PM  
I used to work at their Student Health Center (2014-2019).  Part of the fun over the summer was getting pages and pages of immunization records.  The ones from India were colorful and the ones from China were written in Mandarin, which required the student to translate them for us.

Students at Emory work with and for the CDC, so they're not playing around.  If a student didn't turn in immunization records by a certain date, he/she couldn't even register for classes.
 
2022-04-09 7:10:07 PM  

mikaloyd: Nirbo: I'm so lefty liberal that I support hunting the unvaccinated with tranq darts filled with vaccine.

You have given me a million dlar idea . Possibly a billion dollar idea if you include the social good it would do. Closed area "safaris" where rich hunters could go and use dart guns and heroin filled darts to consensually "hunt" human heroin addicts.
Sell it as a high end Safari where hunters get to pursue the world cleverest and dangerous and most taboo big game without risking prison but still risking cuts and bruises and what have you. From the junkies perspective it would be steady work, a decent career with good wages that offers safer and better conditions than the streets but which is still very welcoming of heroin addicts.  A job that needs their unique skillset  evry bit as much as their unique skillset needs work. Societtally it keeps the poor junkies and rich hunters both from doing worse things to the rest of us and he world at large while thy are on safari.

I think I have figured out one of the main systematic problems that would immediately arise on the first Safari if not addressed beforehand. How do you keep the junkies, (who are meant o be running away from tjhe hunter and challenging his skills and boosting his macho ego) from crowding the hunter and flinging themselve in front of other junkies to take that sweet sweetdart and make sleepy boy happy?.We would only load the darts with a small percentage of the junkies daily dose. But every junky colleague/associate safari floor worker making it to the end of the workday without being darted would recieve a bonus of 15 days worth of heroine and a certificate of congratulations andp[oints towards employee of the month and year competitions. Other p[roblems lie bag and daily limits forhunters could be solved more slowly on an as-needed basis


I mean, if we're gonna talk modest proposals, give the junkies their heroin at the start and give the hunters darts loaded with Narcan. That'll give the junkies motivation to actually try not to get hit.

/aisle seat, please
 
2022-04-09 8:02:39 PM  

Mithiwithi: mikaloyd: Nirbo: I'm so lefty liberal that I support hunting the unvaccinated with tranq darts filled with vaccine.

You have given me a million dlar idea . Possibly a billion dollar idea if you include the social good it would do. Closed area "safaris" where rich hunters could go and use dart guns and heroin filled darts to consensually "hunt" human heroin addicts.
Sell it as a high end Safari where hunters get to pursue the world cleverest and dangerous and most taboo big game without risking prison but still risking cuts and bruises and what have you. From the junkies perspective it would be steady work, a decent career with good wages that offers safer and better conditions than the streets but which is still very welcoming of heroin addicts.  A job that needs their unique skillset  evry bit as much as their unique skillset needs work. Societtally it keeps the poor junkies and rich hunters both from doing worse things to the rest of us and he world at large while thy are on safari.

I think I have figured out one of the main systematic problems that would immediately arise on the first Safari if not addressed beforehand. How do you keep the junkies, (who are meant o be running away from tjhe hunter and challenging his skills and boosting his macho ego) from crowding the hunter and flinging themselve in front of other junkies to take that sweet sweetdart and make sleepy boy happy?.We would only load the darts with a small percentage of the junkies daily dose. But every junky colleague/associate safari floor worker making it to the end of the workday without being darted would recieve a bonus of 15 days worth of heroine and a certificate of congratulations andp[oints towards employee of the month and year competitions. Other p[roblems lie bag and daily limits forhunters could be solved more slowly on an as-needed basis

I mean, if we're gonna talk modest proposals, give the junkies their heroin at the start and give the hunters darts loaded with Narcan. That'll give the junkies motivation to actually try not to get hit.

/aisle seat, please


forget the heroin. you guys aren't thinking big enough.

Give(i.e charge them) libby libs AR-15s with vax darts and let them hunt anti-vaxxer. You'll solve the pandemic and change gun control politics overnight.
 
2022-04-09 9:30:31 PM  

Nirbo: Chthonic Echoes: You all laughed, but here's proof getting 5G-vaxxed does improve your internet speed.

I didn't laugh.

I'm so lefty liberal that I support hunting the unvaccinated with tranq darts filled with vaccine.

I also wouldn't punish anyone with dial up internet.

I lived it, but I don't know if I survived it.


Lefty. Liberal.

Pick one.
 
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