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(Slate)   "My husband tells me he can't stop sexting random women, and I believe he has some kind of compulsion. What can I do to get him to sext me instead?"   (slate.com) divider line
    More: Awkward, 2007 singles, Debut albums, have siblings, live chat, younger brother, boyfriend's parents, real life, say congratulations  
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311 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 01 Apr 2022 at 8:50 AM (12 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



21 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-04-01 7:06:24 AM  
Do butt stuff.
 
2022-04-01 8:16:12 AM  
Is he voluntarily telling you about these or are you finding out about them?

If he's telling you that he's doing it... not as bad and maybe just send him some of your own and he'll play back with you. If you are just finding out about them? Well... then he's just going to cheat on you if he gets the chance.
 
2022-04-01 8:26:29 AM  
Serve him divorce papers
 
2022-04-01 8:52:38 AM  
Sleep with his dad.
 
2022-04-01 9:09:29 AM  
The guy is cheating on his wife and she doesn't want to admit it.

In the second letter Prudie has it wrong. Buyer's agents do jack-all to help out. If you make any effort to doing your own research all you need an agent for is getting the codes to get into the houses for viewing. They get 3% of the sale price of the house for being an Uber driver for you. All the buyer's agent does is show the houses to his/her clients, write up the offers, and get half of the commission.
 
2022-04-01 9:21:10 AM  

madgonad: The guy is cheating on his wife and she doesn't want to admit it.

In the second letter Prudie has it wrong. Buyer's agents do jack-all to help out. If you make any effort to doing your own research all you need an agent for is getting the codes to get into the houses for viewing. They get 3% of the sale price of the house for being an Uber driver for you. All the buyer's agent does is show the houses to his/her clients, write up the offers, and get half of the commission.


Yeah, that guy's cheating.

On the other point that depends on the agent.  I've used agents that really do try to work and earn their commission by trying to curate what houses we view instead of just driving us between the MLS listings we thought were interesting.  This was especially true when we didn't know the area very well and the agent did.  For example, we got warned off moving in right beside a sewage treatment plant.  The house was at the top of the hill and the plant was at the bottom of it so on a warm day it would stink to high hell.
 
2022-04-01 9:48:35 AM  
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2022-04-01 10:04:29 AM  
Sleep with your twin sister.
 
2022-04-01 10:34:00 AM  
Get a burner phone?
 
2022-04-01 10:36:20 AM  
Send him your version of Goatse.
 
2022-04-01 10:42:12 AM  
Be attractive.
Don't be unattractive.
 
2022-04-01 11:42:55 AM  

mike_d85: Yeah, that guy's cheating.

On the other point that depends on the agent.  I've used agents that really do try to work and earn their commission by trying to curate what houses we view instead of just driving us between the MLS listings we thought were interesting.  This was especially true when we didn't know the area very well and the agent did.  For example, we got warned off moving in right beside a sewage treatment plant.  The house was at the top of the hill and the plant was at the bottom of it so on a warm day it would stink to high hell.


And the buyer's agent will get ~$30k on a $500k purchase for giving that advice.

/the MLS and agencies are one of the biggest scam in America
//only military contractors and NFL owners are bigger leeches
 
2022-04-01 11:49:02 AM  
Step 1) Break his left thumb
Step 2) Break his right thumb
Step 3) Kick him in the balls
Step 4) Kick him in the balls again
Step 5) Tell him that if he ever sexts another woman again, he will die and the pain he's just experienced will be nothing compared to what that death will feel like.
 
2022-04-01 11:51:55 AM  
My wife suggests that the woman should just send her husband some sexy photos of herself (and possibly her best friend) along with a note that he's never going to get any of that action again.
 
2022-04-01 12:02:12 PM  
This missing 4th letter of the alphabet may screw up some abbreviations.

1) It's Just A Fantasy, It's Not The Real Thing: DTMFA.  In reality if he's ashamed of his kinks and won't share them with you, then he's got issues to work through.  And that's the best case scenario here.  GTFO.

2) Get A Wall-To-Wall Carpeting.  Get A Wallet Full Of Credit Cards: Well, it's too farking late now, but what you SHOULD have said is "that while we trust you, we think it's best not to mix business and family."  But you didn't do that, did you?  So STFU for now and give it time, stand by your reasoning.

3) But There Never Seems To Be Enough Time To Do The Things You Want To Do Once You Find Them: OK, maybe see if their successful siblings would be willing to help you send them on a notable trip.  Yes, you would have to pitch in.  You may not be able to provide them with everything they deserve, but you can give them something.

4) Well We're Movin' On Up, To The East Side: STFU and MYOB.  That's a big ask and not one that's out of necessity.

5) It Must Have Been Love, But It's Over Now: STFU and GTHOY.

6) Where Were You When We Were Getting High?: OK, substitute Prudie, the song thing is my Shtick, and that really was low hanging fruit to.  If you're gonna infringe, make an effort?  Anyway, get thee to therapy.  I'm not expecting your parents to participate, but see if they might, but you got to do some work to GTHOI.

7) This Old House (Classic): Moving at an advanced age can cause a lot of trouble.  And what are the alternate options really?  Are they notably cheaper than fixing the house and making it better?  Why are repairs off the table?  Insufficient info.
 
2022-04-01 1:19:25 PM  
So, where's he finding these random women to sext? Did they sext back? Or is he just sending dick picks to women who post in R4R?

/I ask purely for research purposes.
//SCIENCE!
 
2022-04-01 3:48:49 PM  
Sometimes things worked out better when everyone was struggling to survive and didn't have all this free time to get into nonsense.

Farmers and factory workers didn't have time or energy at the end of the day to even think about sex. They came home, ate dinner, took a shower and fell asleep on the couch until bedtime.  No shenanigans.
 
2022-04-01 5:18:24 PM  

madgonad: The guy is cheating on his wife and she doesn't want to admit it.

In the second letter Prudie has it wrong. Buyer's agents do jack-all to help out. If you make any effort to doing your own research all you need an agent for is getting the codes to get into the houses for viewing. They get 3% of the sale price of the house for being an Uber driver for you. All the buyer's agent does is show the houses to his/her clients, write up the offers, and get half of the commission.


You had a crappy agent - or a sale that was so run of the mill as to be not needed.

Last house purchase (a short sale), my agent rode herd on getting all the inspections done that the seller couldn't/wouldn't deal with (he spent probably 4-5 days in the house with contractors, inspectors, etc...), while the seller's agent fought with both banks, dealt with at least 4 court appearances, and an absolute ass of a 'client' - the seller (she really worked for one of the two banks... in theory, though she had to get a judge to order her nominal "employer" to do their farking job - I was there for that one, boy was the judge pissed).

The two of them together (along with my lawyer) were complete champs.  Worth... every... cent!

/And the house has appreciated 50% since I've purchased it 4 years ago - dealing with that nightmare of a purchase has been very good to me, and it's a fantastic house
 
2022-04-01 5:55:34 PM  

MadHatter500: ma gona : The guy is cheating on his wife an  she  oesn't want to a mit it.

In the secon  letter Pru ie has it wrong. Buyer's agents  o jack-all to help out. If you make any effort to  oing your own research all you nee  an agent for is getting the co es to get into the houses for viewing. They get 3% of the sale price of the house for being an Uber  river for you. All the buyer's agent  oes is show the houses to his/her clients, write up the offers, an  get half of the commission.

You ha  a crappy agent - or a sale that was so run of the mill as to be not nee e .

Last house purchase (a short sale), my agent ro e her  on getting all the inspections  one that the seller coul n't/woul n't  eal with (he spent probably 4-5  ays in the house with contractors, inspectors, etc...), while the seller's agent fought with both banks,  ealt with at least 4 court appearances, an  an absolute ass of a 'client' - the seller (she really worke  for one of the two banks... in theory, though she ha  to get a ju ge to or er her nominal "employer" to  o their farking job - I was there for that one, boy was the ju ge pisse ).

The two of them together (along with my lawyer) were complete champs.  Worth... every... cent!

/An  the house has appreciate  50% since I've purchase  it 4 years ago -  ealing with that nightmare of a purchase has been very goo  to me, an  it's a fantastic house


Our buyer's agent drove us around for probably a combined five hours, arranged for an inspection, printed the documentation provided by the seller's agent, and drafted my offer and counteroffer. That is it. I set up my financing before I even started looking. The sale of my dad's house closes next week. The Seller's agent does about 10x as much stuff as the Buyer's - unfortunately they split the commission. If you like doing the tons of administrative stuff and staging / prepping a home than you would make a great Seller's agent. If you just like to drive people around and make a whole lot more money per hour worked than you should be a Buyer's agent.
 
2022-04-02 9:50:18 AM  

Gramma: Sometimes things worked out better when everyone was struggling to survive and didn't have all this free time to get into nonsense.

Farmers and factory workers didn't have time or energy at the end of the day to even think about sex. They came home, ate dinner, took a shower and fell asleep on the couch until bedtime.  No shenanigans.


"Life was better when it sucked" is an interesting take.
 
2022-04-02 3:32:24 PM  
He's cheating and he's a liar. The lying is really the most unforgivable part. You're still young. Tell this guy to go fark himself and get out. You're not allowed to shut say you have a kink you won't even SHARE with your wife and use it as an excuse to be a cheater. We get it, your kink is being a cheater. This guy gets off on hurting this woman. I hope he ends up alone forever.
 
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