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(Some Off the Hook Guy)   Customers who feared they were going to be in the Illinois Chainsaw Massacre relieved to find out the man was just taking his chainsaw for a long walk   (republictimes.net) divider line
    More: Scary, Metro-East, Monroe County, Illinois, Waterloo Police Department, Waterloo, Illinois, Illinois Route, 63-year-old man, Schneider's Quality Meats, noon Friday  
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2211 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Mar 2022 at 10:20 PM (14 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



27 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-03-19 5:38:58 PM  
The Illinois Enema Bandit
Youtube sRqlQgOnQaA
 
2022-03-19 9:24:05 PM  

cretinbob: [iFrame https://www.youtube.com/embed/sRqlQgOnQaA?autoplay=1&widget_referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.fark.com&start=0&enablejsapi=1&origin=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.fark.com&widgetid=1]


Done in one :)
 
2022-03-19 10:21:57 PM  
Just carry a gun. No one will blink an eye.

/Murica
 
2022-03-19 10:29:22 PM  
frinkiac.comView Full Size
 
2022-03-19 10:31:47 PM  
You never know when you might run into a Deadite
 
2022-03-19 10:31:52 PM  
Was it all about the he-says-she-says bullshiat?

It's just one of those days
 
2022-03-19 10:34:36 PM  
I can see why people call in an old cranky like me if I had a chainsaw. I would be naturally bleeding somehow.

I look like this on a good day.

                                                            
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That is a CSB  store (well these days) what was the most weirdest thing you saw someone carry into a store.
A gun or rifle is not in the top 5.

Mine was a ww2 flare gun someone trying to get shells for it (gunstore on 301VA).

                                                      
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2022-03-19 10:41:20 PM  
That's one way to get a free ride home after walking into town.
 
2022-03-19 10:57:00 PM  
"Hey the sign outside of Schneider's Quality Meats said Help Wanted and I'm just here to apply for the job. I brought my credentials"
 
2022-03-19 11:02:00 PM  

edmo: Just carry a gun. No one will blink an eye.

/Murica


I guess you don't spend much time reading the news or Fark.com
 
2022-03-19 11:08:05 PM  
Oh, my aching banana...
 
2022-03-19 11:12:47 PM  
What is the proper etiquette in that situation?  You are on foot with a chainsaw.  Where to put it without it getting stolen?  Inside the doors of the meat shop?  Someone might trip over it.  What to do?
 
2022-03-19 11:14:17 PM  

big pig peaches: That's one way to get a free ride home after walking into town.



He walked on that stretch of Highway 3?  Cops probably gave him a ride to avoid having to file an accident report later.
 
2022-03-19 11:34:13 PM  

cretinbob: [YouTube video: The Illinois Enema Bandit]


Damn you, first thing I though of.
 
2022-03-19 11:34:56 PM  
Who hasn't walked their chainsaw and then had a hankering for some meat.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-03-19 11:39:09 PM  

cretinbob: [YouTube video: The Illinois Enema Bandit]


Oh and I was at the Palladium for this that night.
 
2022-03-19 11:48:42 PM  
I was in a Waffle House one time and was sitting at the counter when a dude walked in with a chainsaw, set it down on the counter and ordered just a black coffee. I dropped a $20 on the counter and got the f*ck out of there.
 
2022-03-20 12:01:30 AM  

Badafuco: I was in a Waffle House one time and was sitting at the counter when a dude walked in with a chainsaw, set it down on the counter and ordered just a black coffee. I dropped a $20 on the counter and got the f*ck out of there.


To me this seemed relatively reasonable. The guy might've been working on a job site, around skeevy people, and he didn't feel comfortable leaving his equipment there while he went on a coffee break. Those things can get really expensive; I certainly wouldn't feel comfortable leaving it sitting around. If it was stolen, it might mean his primary source of income was stolen.

Then I re-read that you said Waffle House. So yeah, get the fark out of there.
 
2022-03-20 12:14:41 AM  
If I lived that close to East St. Louis I would probably carry a chainsaw with me wherever I went.
 
2022-03-20 12:23:42 AM  
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Unavailable for comment.
 
2022-03-20 1:44:59 AM  

Drunk and Bitter Jesus: [Fark user image 400x740]

Unavailable for comment.


images-na.ssl-images-amazon.comView Full Size
 
2022-03-20 1:54:47 AM  

Mock26: If I lived that close to East St. Louis I would probably carry a chainsaw with me wherever I went.


Odd, I have been there and never felt that way. You sound ignorant.
 
2022-03-20 2:54:30 AM  

Vern: Badafuco: I was in a Waffle House one time and was sitting at the counter when a dude walked in with a chainsaw, set it down on the counter and ordered just a black coffee. I dropped a $20 on the counter and got the f*ck out of there.

To me this seemed relatively reasonable. The guy might've been working on a job site, around skeevy people, and he didn't feel comfortable leaving his equipment there while he went on a coffee break. Those things can get really expensive; I certainly wouldn't feel comfortable leaving it sitting around. If it was stolen, it might mean his primary source of income was stolen.

Then I re-read that you said Waffle House. So yeah, get the fark out of there.


Exactly. If it had been an IHOP or Denny's, maybe I wouldn't have been so fearful. But this was a Waffle House in Florida. You just never know.
 
2022-03-20 4:01:31 AM  

itsaback: Mock26: If I lived that close to East St. Louis I would probably carry a chainsaw with me wherever I went.

Odd, I have been there and never felt that way. You sound ignorant.


There are areas, closer toward Belleville, that aren't terrible..Most of the danger there is to people
that live there or frequent there.Mostly it's drama between families or petty crap between people
where shat gets real..Bad drug deals, personal/gambling/drug debts, babby mamma drama, etc..
The whole "Armed = polite" really falls apart when you look at a place where people shoot it out
over $5 craps debt...All the people are armed, none of them are polite about it.
 
2022-03-20 5:33:07 AM  
years ago, I was using a chainsaw to cut up some bits of tree at my mum's house.  not used one before.  her neighbour kept popping round to... er... borrow a... pp... paintbrush, but really it was cos he was really worried about me using the chainsaw.  he was right to be.  in the end I said, are you hovering because you think this is a bad idea?  neighbour:  yes I am. please stop!  so I did.  bless him.
 
2022-03-20 8:38:22 AM  
We have a guy lime that around here, dude lived in the bushes and the forest for years, scary looking fellow with a good heart once you speak with him, and always walked around with a decent sized chainsaw and a sheathed machete. He used them to make money woodcutting , and saved enough to get himself a nice little car and a tiny cabin to rent. Not the most stable of men but this guy is alright in my book cause he scrimped and saved and planned and he now has a roof and wheels, and did it without public assistance...
 
2022-03-20 2:30:17 PM  

Moniker o' Shame: What is the proper etiquette in that situation?  You are on foot with a chainsaw.  Where to put it without it getting stolen?  Inside the doors of the meat shop?  Someone might trip over it.  What to do?


Leave it running with the trigger taped down and nobody will touch it
 
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