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(Bored Panda)   What lessons have you tried to teach your kids that backfired? Pro tip, don't teach them they will get coal in their stocking on Christmas if they're bad while also telling them that coal is a rock that they can light on fire   (boredpanda.com) divider line
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439 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 10 Mar 2022 at 10:50 AM (15 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



19 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-03-10 10:59:40 AM  
If I ever had kids, they'd be the only hippies on the block who knew what enfilade fire was and why you avoid it.
 
2022-03-10 11:06:41 AM  
When he was just 4 years old, I taught bughunter 2.0 that "a fart is just a joke that comes out of your butt."

Now he's 17, and has become a regular comedian.
 
2022-03-10 11:23:34 AM  
Mrs P ALWAYS interrupts with "Don't talk with your mouth full!"
Thanks kids! I'm using hat one.
 
2022-03-10 11:37:52 AM  
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/I sometimes worry a whole generation is growing up without PBF Comics
 
2022-03-10 11:47:03 AM  
kids? fark that noise
 
2022-03-10 11:53:19 AM  

some_beer_drinker: kids? fark that noise


That's how we got kids.
 
2022-03-10 11:54:55 AM  
Generally speaking I always thought there was a conflict between "why can't you be like your brother", while at the same time "if someone told you to jump off a bridge would you do the same?"
 
2022-03-10 12:03:52 PM  
Don't submit links from Bored Panda would be one.
 
2022-03-10 12:12:20 PM  
CSB time:

I was on a rant with my kids because they would not eat the fresh fruit that i would by at the store, and ate nothing but candy and chips instead.  i told them that candy will rot your teeth, and immediately broke one of my own teeth on a cherry pit  right in front of them.
 
2022-03-10 12:22:50 PM  
Drink lots of water, exercise, don't eat so much crap.  All miserable failures.
But hey, he makes more money than I ever did.  Because he's a man.  he didn't even go to college.
 
2022-03-10 12:41:11 PM  
Taught a four year old how to shoot rubber bands.  That kid should be a sniper when he grows up, his aim is perfect.
 
2022-03-10 1:12:44 PM  

Harry Wagstaff: Don't submit links from Bored Panda would be one.


Why? I love Bored Panda.
 
2022-03-10 3:04:26 PM  
Not too long ago, we learned the rule "don't draw on walls" and "don't draw in mom's books"
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so I let him
 
2022-03-10 3:11:17 PM  
Oh I don't know, 'coal' can be a good thing...

Back when he was an early teenager our oldest was being an absolute asshole & telling his younger sister that Santa wasn't real (she still wanted to believe).  So I went out to the driveway, got a big rock, spray painted it black to make it 'coal', & had my neighbor write a note (different handwriting...) "This is all you get for not believing in me... Ho, Ho, Ho" (neighbor thought that it was awesome).

Christmas morning arrives & oldest gets underwear from me, socks from mom, & his stocking with the 'coal' & the note in it.  Iirc, daughter got among other things, a bike from Santa...  He wasn't too pleased.

/he did get his other presents the next day
//reduced the 'asshole' level from 'absolute' to 'normal teenager'
 
2022-03-10 5:34:04 PM  
Not much.

/So on reflection we did a decent job
//Wedding an anniversary today
 
2022-03-10 9:08:14 PM  
I taught my 9 year old sarcasm, the art of keeping a joke going for months at a time (every day taking her out for the bus I ask if she brought an apple for her teacher and riff on different variations every day), and when the time is right and she's ready, I'll introduce her to Monty Python, perhaps starting with the Parrot Sketch and go from there.

actually I regret nothing. I am the best dad in the world

/have the coffee cup to prove it too
 
2022-03-10 10:27:04 PM  

poconojoe: I taught my 9 year old sarcasm, the art of keeping a joke going for months at a time (every day taking her out for the bus I ask if she brought an apple for her teacher and riff on different variations every day), and when the time is right and she's ready, I'll introduce her to Monty Python, perhaps starting with the Parrot Sketch and go from there.

actually I regret nothing. I am the best dad in the world

/have the coffee cup to prove it too


I didn't see Monty Python until high school when it was on the local PBS station Friday and Saturday nights.  I have to say that beyond the absurdity, it got me to look up a lot of the historical references they used and made me appreciate it even more.  Probably got more out of that and shows like Blackadder* than I did from a lot of network TV.

*There's one to turn her onto as well.
 
2022-03-11 9:36:45 AM  
In elementary school we all got assembled into the auditorium so some firefighters could give us some fire-related lessons.  One of the things they did was take a can of hair spray and a lighter and make a flame thrower.

Yeah, you know where this is going.

On the way home from school we stopped at 7/11, pooled our money, bought a can of hairspray and a lighter, and spent the afternoon burning things.
 
2022-03-11 1:03:27 PM  

Snotnose: In elementary school we all got assembled into the auditorium so some firefighters could give us some fire-related lessons.  One of the things they did was take a can of hair spray and a lighter and make a flame thrower.

Yeah, you know where this is going.

On the way home from school we stopped at 7/11, pooled our money, bought a can of hairspray and a lighter, and spent the afternoon burning things.


Brilliant move by firefighters to enhance job security.
 
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