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(NBC Washington)   So you fell in love with a house, but it's $400,000 outside your price range. Do you: A) Reduce the price filter on your search? B) Get another job to raise money? C) Murder your mom and sister, stage it as a murder/suicide, and raid bank accounts?   (nbcwashington.com) divider line
    More: Sick, Fairfax County, Virginia, Virginia, executive Pamela Hargan, Police, Pamela Hargan, The Police, Fairfax County, Alexandria, Virginia  
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2587 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Mar 2022 at 3:35 PM (15 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



44 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-03-08 2:35:37 PM  
She's not very good at crime, but she sure showed a lot of hustle.
 
2022-03-08 3:10:20 PM  
This is exactly why I don't have $400,000 in cash sitting in a bank account.

So I don't get murdered.


Yeah, that's it.
 
2022-03-08 3:21:31 PM  

Rev.K: This is exactly why I don't have $400,000 in cash sitting in a bank account.

So I don't get murdered.


Yeah, that's it.


So, how much cash do you have sitting around?  We talking $100 or $100,000 or what?
 
2022-03-08 3:37:11 PM  
The correct answer is always C
 
2022-03-08 3:37:53 PM  
Oh, house not horse.
 
2022-03-08 3:39:00 PM  
The Aristocrats!
 
2022-03-08 3:39:03 PM  
That couldn't have been enough to actually afford a place in today's market.
 
2022-03-08 3:39:57 PM  
c.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2022-03-08 3:40:02 PM  
She should have just started a fundraiser for a "freedom convoy" like everyone else.
 
2022-03-08 3:40:12 PM  
it showed me this hilarious ad at the end of the article
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-03-08 3:41:55 PM  
Yeah, the real estate market is murder right now.
 
2022-03-08 3:42:44 PM  

Rev.K: This is exactly why I don't have $400,000 in cash sitting in a bank account.

So I don't get murdered.


Yeah, that's it.


Ok, but step 2: don't ever threaten someone of embezzlement and tell them that you will turn over the books to the police in the morning, then go back to your dimly lit office alone to finish up the proof
And
Step 3: don't attempt to blackmail a murderer

Oh, and one more thing: never vow to see someone in hell before you will grant them a divorce/inheritance
 
2022-03-08 3:44:23 PM  

Klyukva: Oh, house not horse.


If it wasn't for the house, I wouldn't have spent those years in jail.
 
2022-03-08 3:44:23 PM  

cherryl taggart: We talking $100 or $100,000 or what?


It's a lot closer to one of those numbers.

A LOT closer.


/not the big one
 
2022-03-08 3:45:25 PM  
Wait,...that was an option?

BRB, I gotta go do...a thing.
 
2022-03-08 3:46:08 PM  

AstroJesus: Yeah, the real estate market is murder right now.


Was gonna say, "The housing market has really gotten crazy lately", but I like yours better
 
2022-03-08 3:46:43 PM  
What, no Zillow link?
 
2022-03-08 3:48:13 PM  
Also, jesus christ, the ads on that page make it nearly impossible to actually read the article.

I typically use a browser with adblock on, but I'm on a work computer wasting time and, christ, I didn't realize it had gotten this bad.
 
2022-03-08 3:54:58 PM  

cherryl taggart: Rev.K: This is exactly why I don't have $400,000 in cash sitting in a bank account.

So I don't get murdered.


Yeah, that's it.

So, how much cash do you have sitting around?  We talking $100 or $100,000 or what?


Asking for a friend, of course. She works for a survey company. Yeah, that's it.
 
2022-03-08 3:57:08 PM  

tommyl66: What, no Zillow link?



This.

How do we know if the house was worth all that risk and effort?
 
2022-03-08 3:57:21 PM  
It's a modern world,

So, you set up a GoFundMe account with a sob story about how the bank invalidated your loan. You were "so close" , but those mean old bank managers must have screwed up the paperwork.

And, if no one notices the retraction and correction when it's all found out in two weeks, you get to keep it!
 
2022-03-08 3:58:19 PM  
She should go with the Ugly Sister Defense. Works some of the time.
 
2022-03-08 4:03:58 PM  

Rev.K: cherryl taggart: We talking $100 or $100,000 or what?

It's a lot closer to one of those numbers.

A LOT closer.


/not the big one


You have $100? Come over here to this dark alley alone. I have something to tell you...
 
2022-03-08 4:06:07 PM  

Representative of the unwashed masses: You have $100? Come over here to this dark alley alone. I have something to tell you...


Ok.
 
2022-03-08 4:14:18 PM  
How am I supposed to form an opinion when there isn't even a picture of the daughter?
 
2022-03-08 4:23:42 PM  

Rev.K: Representative of the unwashed masses: You have $100? Come over here to this dark alley alone. I have something to tell you...

Ok.


*BOP!*

Hey everyone guess what? I have $100!
 
2022-03-08 4:32:59 PM  

Fano: Rev.K: This is exactly why I don't have $400,000 in cash sitting in a bank account.

So I don't get murdered.


Yeah, that's it.

Ok, but step 2: don't ever threaten someone of embezzlement and tell them that you will turn over the books to the police in the morning, then go back to your dimly lit office alone to finish up the proof
And
Step 3: don't attempt to blackmail a murderer

Oh, and one more thing: never vow to see someone in hell before you will grant them a divorce/inheritance


You can't blackmail a murderer if they haven't murdered you yet.
 
2022-03-08 4:33:48 PM  

Salmon: How am I supposed to form an opinion when there isn't even a picture of the daughter?


just close your eyes and imagine a Canadian daughter.
 
2022-03-08 4:36:19 PM  

American-Irish eyes: Fano: Rev.K: This is exactly why I don't have $400,000 in cash sitting in a bank account.

So I don't get murdered.


Yeah, that's it.

Ok, but step 2: don't ever threaten someone of embezzlement and tell them that you will turn over the books to the police in the morning, then go back to your dimly lit office alone to finish up the proof
And
Step 3: don't attempt to blackmail a murderer

Oh, and one more thing: never vow to see someone in hell before you will grant them a divorce/inheritance

You can't blackmail a murderer if they haven't murdered you yet.


I'd say the 3 scenarios I mentioned cover 90% of Columbo episodes
 
2022-03-08 4:41:45 PM  

mononymous: Wait,...that was an option?

BRB, I gotta go do...a thing.


I know, right? We've been limiting our search for nothing.

Now I just need a sister..
 
2022-03-08 4:45:29 PM  

chitownmike: The correct answer is always C


Just double check that the test isn't True/False before trying that strategy.
 
2022-03-08 5:04:50 PM  
And to think I've been staging events all these years for just a couple thousand a whack....or pop...or .... nevermind.
 
2022-03-08 5:15:10 PM  

kbronsito: tommyl66: What, no Zillow link?


This.

How do we know if the house was worth all that risk and effort?


I'm not sure how much effort went into this plan. She withdrew the money from her mom's account on the day of the murder and plunked it into her new house. She might as well have left a confession at the scene.
 
2022-03-08 5:16:38 PM  
Is this called Pre-Qualified murder?
 
2022-03-08 5:24:09 PM  

cherryl taggart: Rev.K: This is exactly why I don't have $400,000 in cash sitting in a bank account.

So I don't get murdered.


Yeah, that's it.

So, how much cash do you have sitting around?  We talking $100 or $100,000 or what?


The higher gas prices go, the safer we all are... right now if you live 1000 miles away, it will be more expensive to murder me than to stay home, but the Murder Zone is shrinking every day now. /and it's even smaller if they have any duct tape and bleach expenses!
 
2022-03-08 5:27:24 PM  

morg: kbronsito: tommyl66: What, no Zillow link?


This.

How do we know if the house was worth all that risk and effort?

I'm not sure how much effort went into this plan. She withdrew the money from her mom's account on the day of the murder and plunked it into her new house. She might as well have left a confession at the scene.


I was half watching a Forensic Files II episode and it was about this guy, who hadn't missed a day of work in like a decade, called in sick the day before his family was murdered.  He was seen playing catch with them that "sick" day, knowing that he would murder them in their sleep that night.
 
2022-03-08 6:07:19 PM  

Fano: American-Irish eyes: Fano: Rev.K: This is exactly why I don't have $400,000 in cash sitting in a bank account.

So I don't get murdered.


Yeah, that's it.

Ok, but step 2: don't ever threaten someone of embezzlement and tell them that you will turn over the books to the police in the morning, then go back to your dimly lit office alone to finish up the proof
And
Step 3: don't attempt to blackmail a murderer

Oh, and one more thing: never vow to see someone in hell before you will grant them a divorce/inheritance

You can't blackmail a murderer if they haven't murdered you yet.

I'd say the 3 scenarios I mentioned cover 90% of Columbo episodes


Indeed
 
2022-03-08 6:50:07 PM  

Representative of the unwashed masses: Rev.K: cherryl taggart: We talking $100 or $100,000 or what?

It's a lot closer to one of those numbers.

A LOT closer.


/not the big one

You have $100? Come over here to this dark alley alone. I have something to tell you...


She wants to tell you your fly is undone and she needs to fix it?
 
2022-03-08 7:02:42 PM  

Speef: The higher gas prices go, the safer we all are... right now if you live 1000 miles away, it will be more expensive to murder me than to stay home, but the Murder Zone is shrinking every day now. /and it's even smaller if they have any duct tape and bleach expenses!


Pretty much this, I keep a little spreadsheet where I enter the distance and current fuel prices before scheduling in any murders.
 
2022-03-08 7:17:26 PM  

bucket_pup: Representative of the unwashed masses: Rev.K: cherryl taggart: We talking $100 or $100,000 or what?

It's a lot closer to one of those numbers.

A LOT closer.


/not the big one

You have $100? Come over here to this dark alley alone. I have something to tell you...

She wants to tell you your fly is undone and she needs to fix it?


Who the hell stole my penis?!?! Give it back!
 
2022-03-08 7:21:26 PM  
Set up a meth lab in the basement, then send in Saul Goodman...
 
2022-03-08 10:09:28 PM  

gnarlywizzard: it showed me this hilarious ad at the end of the article
[Fark user image image 425x586]


😂😂😂

Lending Tree: When you need money, but don't want to kill your family, we're here for you.
 
2022-03-09 7:48:45 AM  

Representative of the unwashed masses: bucket_pup: Representative of the unwashed masses: Rev.K: cherryl taggart: We talking $100 or $100,000 or what?

It's a lot closer to one of those numbers.

A LOT closer.


/not the big one

You have $100? Come over here to this dark alley alone. I have something to tell you...

She wants to tell you your fly is undone and she needs to fix it?

Who the hell stole my penis?!?! Give it back!


Dude! The guy by the corner store is selling it. It's a bit nasty, so you're going to bargain him down to $5. You'll be happy again. Run it through the dishwasher.
 
2022-03-10 2:40:44 AM  
Hargan's third daughter, who prosecutors are expected to call as a witness, will wait and watch from the courtroom.

Now that's that's the perfect murder - you kill your mom and sister, stage it to look like a murder/suicide and then deliberately bungle the staging with evidence that points to your other sister so that she gets blamed for it.
 
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