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(Salt Lake Tribune)   Man brings wooden sword to gunfight   ( sltrib.com) divider line
    More: Dumbass  
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13919 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Nov 2004 at 3:04 PM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

105 Comments     (+0 »)

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2004-11-13 04:19:25 PM  

Could someone point me to the source of the couch cliche?

It's called the article, and there's a link at the top of the page.
2004-11-13 04:23:53 PM  

Come on, it's at the end of the article.. do you really expect me to make it that far?
2004-11-13 04:24:03 PM  
I've lived in Salt Lake City - living there long enough could drive anyone crazy.

(Glad I got out in time...)

/that couch really tied the room together
2004-11-13 04:27:04 PM  
Nice to see another Samurai X fan on Fark, Caspergear.

/had bids on that couch
2004-11-13 04:29:56 PM  
"Could someone point me to the source of the couch cliche?"
Geez, you must be the very last person left who hasn't seen Episode 1.
2004-11-13 04:35:20 PM  
Now here is where you use the taser. The TASER! THE TASER!!

/"Calm Down Beavis! Huh huh, huh huh."
2004-11-13 04:37:37 PM  
But was it a Hattori Hanzo sword?
2004-11-13 04:38:42 PM  
Here in good 'ole Oshkosh WI we had cops kill a guy who was having a psycotic break. The guy was hiding under the stairs in his own basement with a steak knife duct taped to his wrist. The officers shot him with almost 200 "less than lethal" rounds (bean-bags and plastic slugs). Additional ammo was passed to the firing officers through the (broken by police) basement window. Quite a few of Oshwitzers like myself thought the officers were teat suckling wimps, but a lot of the community did "WE SUPPORT OUR POLICE" nazi window poster thing.
What do you have to do as a cop to get the people mad at you, kill a guy? nope nictitate on the couch... maybe
2004-11-13 04:39:21 PM  
"It's really all too bad," he said, "because I really wanted that couch."

Oh, that's funny.
2004-11-13 04:40:20 PM  
Admiral Ackbar and I were sitting on the couch enjoying a hot cocoa sampler box talking of ways to get Flava Flav over to help train cliche kitty.

All of a sudden, we heard that there was a cure for cancer! Since our dog wanted to go out anyway, we thought we would go out and spread the word.

Alas, once outside, the signs became clear that France had surrendered, and that mayhem was sure to ensue. Although I was shocked, SHOCKED by what I saw, I for one, welcomed our France-surrendering overlords.

"It's a trap!" Ackbar yelled, but I didn't listen.

Just then, I saw mustard man fleeing from the apartment where Ackbar and I were sitting, and the whole building went up in flames. Which was too bad, because I really wanted that couch.
2004-11-13 04:42:56 PM  

Except that the pic you posted is a bokkto or a bokken, a wooden training sword used in iaijutsu and aikido. Kendo practitioners use a straight bamboo sword - doesn't have any curvature to it.

2004-11-13 04:49:35 PM  
"It's really all too bad," he said, "because I really wanted that couch."

This is the best quote I have seen in a long time! It's farking hilarious! The man doesn't even mention the fact that a mentally ill indvidual, that could have been stopped using less lethal forces, was criticaly injured.

Now watch, and some civil rights group will come down on this cop.

/I woulda' tased him... it's funny.
2004-11-13 04:51:50 PM  
[image from umd.labrinidis.org too old to be available]

Wanted for Questioning.
2004-11-13 04:58:40 PM  
Did the cop really have to put two bullets in this guy? Seems pretty ridiculous to me.

He was ordered three times, at gunpoint, to drop the weapon. Instead, he charged at a cop. Why is this hard for some people to grasp?

For the rest of you supermen, I'd like to invite you to come back from your made-for-TV-movie fantasyland and take a swift blow to the side of the head with one of these "sticks." A good blow will easily shatter bones, and I guarantee you anyone who has even a remote idea of what they are doing could easily crush your skull.

I guess it's easy for whiney, criminal-loving suckjobs to criticise the police when they're safe in their mother's basements masturbating...
2004-11-13 04:59:59 PM  
He had a bokken?

[image from members.optushome.com.au too old to be available]

2004-11-13 05:01:13 PM  
So Lamune_Baba, are you saying you disagree?
2004-11-13 05:07:42 PM  
Lightning bolt! Lightning bolt! Lightning bolt!

(girl claps)
2004-11-13 05:10:43 PM  

You don't think a full swing to the head could be fatal if delivered properly? I agree that it's not quite as heavy as a baseball bat, but it's closer to that than it is to a mere "stick". Mine's plenty hefty.

Plus, the force is concentrated in a smaller area (the thin edge of the simulated "blade"), so the pressure is correspondingly greater.
2004-11-13 05:19:50 PM  

Nice to see another Samurai X fan on Fark, Caspergear.

I do not know what this Samurai X thing is, but Rurouni Kenshin is pretty good. I can't stand dubbed anime. Thank you fansubbers.
2004-11-13 05:22:53 PM  
Wow, the most interesting thing my retarded mutter-to-themselves-24-hours-a-day neighbors have ever done is forget which apartment was theirs and try to break into someone else's. The someone else was home and, after about five minutes, was finally able to convince them they wanted the next entryway over.
2004-11-13 05:29:31 PM  
armed with an ancient samurai weapon known as a bokken,

Heh, I'll go with everyone else...just a kendo practice stick, right? Of course, they hurt like hell, but I think kendo started in the 1800s.

/Loves stories about crazy people
2004-11-13 05:33:02 PM  
Driving Withour Pants

Leonardo is holding a kama, not a bokken.
2004-11-13 05:35:26 PM  

"yes officer, no officer" = not get shot

Well there's only a telephone book thick list to the contrary but I'll let that slide.
2004-11-13 05:38:14 PM  
too bad about the bokken, really wanted that couch
(knows its been done, but feeding the new cliche monster it's daily rations)
2004-11-13 05:40:32 PM  
The cops should have just kicked him in the box and shoved him, shooting wasn't necessary.
2004-11-13 05:44:00 PM  

I guess it's easy for whiney, criminal-loving suckjobs to criticise the police when they're safe in their mother's basements masturbating.

If you're going to make lame generalizations then I'll counter with the fact that I can criticize a homocidal tiny dicked guncrazy lunatic who joined the police force because he gets his little weiner hard every time he offs someone all I want.

If the dude has a farking stick, you pull out your taser or your pepper spray. Deploy it before he makes his move if you have to but don't sit there praying that he comes out so you can start blasting knowing hey, if it's not a clean shoot, eff it. Paid suspension until it blows over.

I win.
2004-11-13 05:51:14 PM  

Leonardo is holding a kama, not a bokken.

That's Donatello. You shall be executed at dawn.
2004-11-13 05:56:53 PM  
If it was unquestionably a "clean shoot", they wouldn't have put the officer on administrative leave and have the DA investigate.

Perforating the crazy dude was excessive and unnecessary.
2004-11-13 05:58:48 PM  
[image from favreau.info too old to be available]
2004-11-13 06:02:21 PM  
Yeah, I used to have a bokken. Which is indeed that thing frontierpsychiatry posted a pic of up there. They're really not just a lightweight stick or one of those bamboo things (=shinai); they weigh several pounds. It's definetely at least as dangerous as a baseball bat, if not more so - it may be a little lighter, but it swings faster and has a smaller hitting surface. And is designed to be held like a sword, such that you can use much more effective strikes.

Even if you haven't been watching too much Kenshin, you seriously don't want to get hit on the head with one of those things being swung properly. I don't think getting hit in the neck would be particularly healthy, either... they teach martial arts practicioners to do that with the edge of their hand, and a bokken doesn't have to worry about breaking its handbones and gets extra momentum from length. Anywhere else is just a good way to get bones broken.

Oh, and too bad about the couch.
2004-11-13 06:06:24 PM  
Is it possible that, being 2 am in the morning, that it was dark and the cops couldn't tell what was in the guy's hand? Maybe they thought it was a real sword? Especially since there was a report that the guy had been using a sword to try and hack into his apartment? If I were a cop responding to a call of "crazy dude with sword chasing people and threatening to kill them" and I arrived on scene and was charged by a guy who was screaming "I'm going to kill you" and appeared to have a sword in his hands I'd drop his ass too. I'd say the cop was restrained in only shooting twice.
2004-11-13 06:09:06 PM  

The police shot a quite clearly insane man. He was a threat to nobody, and did not posess a lethal weapon. Was the man black, and the officers white? If so, I think we have the solution to the mystery right there.

You had a fairly good troll going but blew it with the race baiting.
2004-11-13 06:12:45 PM  
If it was unquestionably a "clean shoot", they wouldn't have put the officer on administrative leave and have the DA investigate.

I thought that was standard policy with all shootings...?
2004-11-13 06:13:22 PM  
George Bush got re-elected.

It's really all too bad, because I really wanted that couch.

/cliche flamewar
2004-11-13 06:14:21 PM  
Happy Noodle Boy?
2004-11-13 06:25:50 PM  
Wasn't this topic already covered on 11/1/04?

img.fark.netView Full Size
img.fark.netView Full Size
It's gun vs. machete when asshats fight over the volume of stereo

2004-11-13 06:33:44 PM  
I stand corrected, indeed.
2004-11-13 06:35:42 PM  
Yeah, but nobody wanted the couch that time.
2004-11-13 06:40:27 PM  
'incessantly blathering "about nothing in particular."'

This is very, very bad news for farkers.
2004-11-13 06:41:08 PM  

Well maybe if whoever took the picture could take a decent picture, Donatello's purple wouldn't look so blue.
2004-11-13 06:53:31 PM  
Miyamoto Musashi killed several people with a bokken.

/Musashi also really wanted that couch
2004-11-13 06:55:20 PM  
I can see this couch cliche being run into the ground before it even escapes this thread.
2004-11-13 06:56:46 PM  
byn Nice one.

/but I really wanted that couch.
2004-11-13 07:13:25 PM  
The impression I from the article was that he sort of "ran into" the cops. They may not have hide time to get the "proper" non-lethal weapons out. After all, they probably got a 911 call saying someone was armed with a sword, so who can blame them for arriving with guns out? And since it happened at night, I doubt they could see whether it was wooden or metal.

No one knows exactly what happened - maybe it went down the way I just said, or maybe the cops felt like wasting someone. But don't bother passing judgment on what happened - we're all pretty much clueless.
2004-11-13 07:31:43 PM  
To add to Chameleon's post-

The people Musashi killed with a bokken were armed with katanas.

Also, administrative leave is standard for many departments after any shooting. There is a long-standing joke about shooting a perpetrator just to get the 'vacation'. Usually after the fact of taking down a violent offender by other means- 'I should have just shot the guy. At least I'd get a few days off.'

If tasers were available, the guy wouldn't have been shot. I'm thinking of buying stock. Then I could buy my OWN couch.
2004-11-13 07:32:30 PM  
I'll defend the cops here, too. I've got a bokken myself, and I think you could easily cave someone's skull in with that thing... 's pretty damn hard, and the force is concentrated into a nice little area.
2004-11-13 07:47:54 PM  
I think retards and psychos should be allowed to thrash us all as much as they want. Hurting them is wrong.
2004-11-13 07:57:16 PM  
Man, that must have been one sweet couch.

As for the bokken. I have a wooden chinese jen sabre that was used for practicing sword forms. It's made out of teak which is an extremely hard wood. I know I could easily kill someone with a single head blow with it. If bokkens are made of the same hardwood, or similar (I can't imagine a practice sword NOT being made out of a hardwood) then I could see it being very deadly.

Yes, pity the guy got shot. Pity some kids in Iraq are going to be bombed in their sleep. Pity someone's father, mother, brother, sister is going to be killed by a drunk driver this weekend. The world is lousy with crying shames. I don't think the cop can be faulted I'd probably have shot to stop too. You know... unless I had my wooden sword with me. Then I'd flip out Kill Bill II style.
2004-11-13 08:24:00 PM  
Did Dokken ever use a bokken?
/jus jive-talkin
/shoulda used a Glock(en)

/gone tobagg-an.
2004-11-13 08:45:24 PM  
The Blue Thunder of Furiken High is not impressed.

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