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(MSNBC)   Madonna's new children's book reveals that money doesn't make you happy. Instead, you just need a wildly over-inflated sense of self-importance, sex with Jose Canseco and cone boobies for true happiness   ( divider line
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11339 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Nov 2004 at 1:50 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

241 Comments     (+0 »)

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2004-11-11 01:42:39 PM  
Do we really need people with lots of money telling us it doesn't make you happy? Okay then, why do you have an agent who's sole responsibility is to get you as much of it as possible?
2004-11-11 01:44:30 PM  
am i the only one who remembers her sex book?
2004-11-11 01:44:32 PM  
People who say that money
Is the root of all that kills
They have never been poor
They have never had the joy of a welfare Christmas...

/seemed apt
2004-11-11 01:44:54 PM  
Everybody knows the secret to happiness lies in the
numerology of the kaballah. I think her children's story
ends with the main character drilling a hole in his head.
2004-11-11 01:46:46 PM  
Cone boobies?

/looks down

Ah, crap.
2004-11-11 01:48:06 PM  
at one point i saw a poster with the pics of everyman that madonna had gone out with. Any body have a clue? was this a drug dream?
2004-11-11 01:49:40 PM  

Not sure about a poster, but I have an old 1995 NBA media guide somewhere that might be a good place to start.
2004-11-11 01:49:43 PM  
Well anytime she wants to un-burden herself
of her millions she can make the check payable to me.

Function: noun
a person who puts on a false appearance of virtue or religion
2004-11-11 01:50:07 PM  
"Madonna's new children's book reveals that money doesn't make you happy."
wanna bet ?

give me alot of it and I'll show you a big fricken grin.

2004-11-11 01:51:57 PM  
I suppose I could riff a list of things that I care as litle about as our last week. Let's see... low carb diets, Michael Moore, the Republican National Convention, Kabbalah & all Kabbalah-related products, Hi-Def TV, the Bush daughters, wireless hotspots, the OC, the UN, recycling, getting Punk'd, Danny Gans, the Latin Grammys, the real Grammys, Jeff that Wiggle that sleeps too darn much, the Yankees payroll, all the red states, all the blue states, every hybrid car, every talk show, everything on the planet, everything in the solar system, everything everything everything everything everythingeverythingevery-everything that exists past present & future, in discovered and undiscovered dimensions!

Oh, and Hugh Jackman.
2004-11-11 01:52:52 PM  
I blame the Kabbalah Center for goading Madonna into becoming all preachy-like. Word to the wise: don't join the Kabbalah Center. They pump you for money as effectively as the Scientologists, and they pervert the actual Kabbalah much more than they teach it, relying on dumbed-down mumbo-pocus more based on self-help than a venerable religious tradition.
2004-11-11 01:54:16 PM  
Only those who have first gotten super rich will then say that money doesn't buy happiness.

Okay then give all your money away if you are wanting to be so happy!!
2004-11-11 01:54:25 PM  
I won't lie, I'd still hit it.
2004-11-11 01:55:18 PM  
Right on! I just need the cone boobies and I'm there!
2004-11-11 01:55:26 PM  
'Cause when I think of someone I want teaching my kids fundamental ethics and life lessons, I think "Madonna"!

I'd rather read my kids G. Gordon Liddy.
2004-11-11 01:56:13 PM  
If wealth is overrated, then how come I never see Bill Gates at the 7-11 buying scratch tickets ?

Hey Madonna, I'm so happy being poor, that I'm about to file for bankruptcy. Stuff it, Esther.

2004-11-11 01:56:34 PM  
I won't lie, I'd still hit it.

You haven't yet? ou must be the last one.
2004-11-11 01:56:45 PM  
You can have money and be happy.. problem is a lot of these celebrities are set for life and lose ambition and life becomes boring, number one reason why so many musicians start using drugs.. they figure they've done everything, why not do as much mind altering as possible. If I die, so what? Good person to look up to is robin williams or billy crystal. They started doing charity work and it made them feel less guilty about all the money they've made.
2004-11-11 01:57:25 PM  
Who would buy this book, seriously? Especially for their children.
2004-11-11 01:57:31 PM  
Speaking of her "Sex" book, I wonder if her kids have started asking questions about it yet?
2004-11-11 01:58:03 PM  
I have a friend that is a *very* wealthy retired physician and businessman. He always says that money doesn't buy happiness, but it sure as hell makes a great downpayment.
2004-11-11 01:58:38 PM  
Newest Madonna book lesson: "Money will not make you happy."

Older Madonna book lesson: "But hitchhiking in the nude, light BDSM, and examing at your genitals in a mirror will."

/"Justify My Love," my ass
2004-11-11 01:58:38 PM  
Jose Conseco? wtf? They were an item?

Whatever happened to that schmo? Last I read he was in the minors??
2004-11-11 01:59:07 PM  
Exactly what i've been telling people for all these years....
2004-11-11 01:59:18 PM  
If money can't buy happiness,
I guess I'll have to rent it!
2004-11-11 01:59:48 PM  
So, if money doesn't make you happy, does that mean Madonna will give her book out for free?

I am so sick of celebrity "authors." Carrot Top can't be far behind. Just imagine it: "Carrot Top: comedian, actor, author."
2004-11-11 01:59:55 PM  
Mmmm. cone-boobies.

Why is it always some insanely wealthy person trying to tell you that money won't make you happy? See, I think you're just not spending it correctly if it doesn't make you happy.
2004-11-11 02:00:03 PM  
It was the Jose Canseco reference that did it. :)
2004-11-11 02:00:10 PM  
Then she should put her money where her herpes-sore-encrusted mouth is and donate all the book proceeds to poor and/or sick children.
2004-11-11 02:00:32 PM  
i think farkers on the left and right can come together and say that madonna is insane and no longer even mildly attractive.
2004-11-11 02:00:33 PM  

serious golf clap. kudos.
2004-11-11 02:00:52 PM  
That sounds like something Lionel Hutz would say.
2004-11-11 02:01:09 PM  

If wealth is overrated, then how come I never see Bill Gates at the 7-11 buying scratch tickets ?

I read an article about a guy who was in a 7-11 and was wating for the guy infront of him to finish buying his stuff. The guy infront was arguing with the cashier over a coupon for ice cream. Appearantly, the coupon had expired and the man was not happy about paying the full price for the ice cream.

The dude who's waiting to buy his stuff is starting to get mad because this other guy is wasting so much time over the coupon. He's just about to step in and say something when the other guy gives up on the copoun and pays for the ice cream. He turns around to leave the store with his ice cream, and the hero of our story suddenly realises the guy is Bill Gates.
2004-11-11 02:02:11 PM  
The phenomenon of farkers spouting off about the impossibility of moral, emotional, or spiritual growth serves primarily to pinpoint those who have never experienced any.
2004-11-11 02:02:41 PM  
"Good person to look up to is robin williams or billy crystal" Add Bill Cosby to that list too.
I guess its nice that shes getting spiritual, too bad for the millions of little girls she led into materialistic whoredom.
2004-11-11 02:02:47 PM  
UGH. Celebrities shouldn't write books.

I hate Madonna.
2004-11-11 02:03:02 PM  
Nabb1: ROLF...good show my man!
2004-11-11 02:03:02 PM  

If money can't buy happiness,
I guess I'll have to rent it!

Well, then, Esther should be right up your alley. ;)

/Jose Canseco will kick it like Ken Caminiti in a year or less
2004-11-11 02:04:00 PM  
NutznGum wins.
2004-11-11 02:04:19 PM  
That article made me "Wanta to Barfa"
2004-11-11 02:04:22 PM  

Bahhhhhhwahhhh ha ha ha ha!!!!!
2004-11-11 02:05:35 PM  

Great points. But you forgot the evolving accent as well!

// evolving, ha, get it?
2004-11-11 02:05:41 PM  
"I don't care about losing all the money! It's losing all the stuuuuf."
2004-11-11 02:05:56 PM  
2004-11-11 02:01:09 PM NutznGum
I heard one time that he tried to pay for a taco with a $2 bill.
2004-11-11 02:06:47 PM  
Madonna or Esther or whatever the hell she is calling herself these days needs to go. So do all of these other Hollywood schmucks who think that just because they act in movies we give a shiat as to what they believe politically. Yes that means you Michael Moore, Tim Robbins, Sean Penn, and anyone else spoofed in Team America.
2004-11-11 02:07:59 PM  
SHUT UP Madonna. Please. Thank you.
2004-11-11 02:09:50 PM  
Actually, people with lots of money are the only ones who truly know for sure whether lots of money makes people happy. Who else would know?
2004-11-11 02:09:55 PM  
Once, when I was working at Taco Bell, Bill Gates tried to buy a taco from me using fake money.
2004-11-11 02:09:58 PM  
Will somebody please kick that biatch in the box and shove her off a farking cliff. Please.
2004-11-11 02:10:15 PM  
it's true, money wont buy happiness.
but without money, you can't buy a farking thing, like a CD of some crap made by some freak with cone boobies.
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