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(Slate)   "My wife insists that sex be done her way every time. How can I get her to shake things up?"   (slate.com) divider line
    More: Awkward, Sexual intercourse, Human sexual behavior, Foreplay, Human sexuality, Oral sex, Transgender, Orgasm, Orgasm control  
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612 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 03 Feb 2022 at 3:55 AM (20 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



36 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-02-03 3:03:32 AM  
Let her stick it in your pooper.
 
2022-02-03 3:07:54 AM  
I like beans. Like a really a lot. Sometimes I'll enjoy beans two or three times a day. But then I'll get on a soup and salad kick and fully be into to that for a while. And then I'll have beans again and remember how much I love beans. And then I'll think mmmm... hot and sour soup sounds nice...
 
2022-02-03 4:04:59 AM  
I suppose an open and honest discussion about your mutual needs and desires is right out. In that case, fark her dad.
 
2022-02-03 4:08:55 AM  
i.ebayimg.comView Full Size
 
2022-02-03 4:10:55 AM  
Or maybe
aks.roshd.irView Full Size
 
2022-02-03 4:32:32 AM  
From the letter writer, "...while I try to jack myself to full mast."

I'm pretty sure that's lifted directly from Moby Dick-not the Melville classic but the soft-core, 17tth century erotica novella of the same name.
 
2022-02-03 4:45:04 AM  
Cleveland steamer.
 
2022-02-03 4:52:06 AM  
Fark someone else?
 
2022-02-03 5:02:10 AM  
Be thankful someone is still willing to touch you while she thinks about her boyfriend from college who played bass guitar.
 
2022-02-03 5:11:53 AM  

foo monkey: Be thankful someone is still willing to touch you while she thinks about her boyfriend from college who played bass guitar.


Nice try but no one has ever fantasized about a bass guitar player.
 
2022-02-03 5:42:12 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


/stolen from a thread yesterday
 
2022-02-03 5:46:39 AM  
Guy has been married over 20 years has  sex 3-4 times a week and he's complaining?  Fake.
 
2022-02-03 6:16:04 AM  
"Woops! Wrong hole!"
 
2022-02-03 6:32:21 AM  
Guess 'butt stuff' is actually appropriate for this one?
 
2022-02-03 8:16:21 AM  

Sasquach: [Fark user image image 425x462]

/stolen from a thread yesterday


And it's being stolen again now
 
2022-02-03 8:20:45 AM  

Gramma: Guy has been married over 20 years has  sex 3-4 times a week and he's complaining?  Fake.


The grass is always greener on the other side. Also, people change at they get older, and they should be prepared for their partners to change.
 
2022-02-03 8:42:27 AM  

propasaurus: Sasquach: [Fark user image image 425x462]

/stolen from a thread yesterday

And it's being stolen again now


thirded, excellent image there.
 
2022-02-03 9:10:14 AM  

LordBeavis: foo monkey: Be thankful someone is still willing to touch you while she thinks about her boyfriend from college who played bass guitar.

Nice try but no one has ever fantasized about a bass guitar player.


Clearly, you've never had my flabby, pale, damp, naked body flopping about on top of you.

/eip!  I'm local!
 
2022-02-03 9:46:35 AM  

foo monkey: LordBeavis: foo monkey: Be thankful someone is still willing to touch you while she thinks about her boyfriend from college who played bass guitar.

Nice try but no one has ever fantasized about a bass guitar player.

Clearly, you've never had my flabby, pale, damp, naked body flopping about on top of you.

/eip!  I'm local!


We already KNOW about bass players.  We're looking for the fantasy!
 
2022-02-03 9:52:38 AM  
Wait till she's asleep?
 
2022-02-03 10:03:47 AM  

Sasquach: [Fark user image 425x462]

/stolen from a thread yesterday


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-02-03 10:06:21 AM  
Tell her to read an erotic novel
 
2022-02-03 10:07:03 AM  

LordBeavis: foo monkey: Be thankful someone is still willing to touch you while she thinks about her boyfriend from college who played bass guitar.

Nice try but no one has ever fantasized about a bass guitar player.


Counterpoint:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-02-03 10:07:39 AM  
No better yet.  You read erotic novels written by women. Maybe some lesbian stuff.

Then love her properly and she will love you back.

Best or luck.  You need to up your level buddy!
 
2022-02-03 10:21:39 AM  
i.pinimg.comView Full Size


They make pills for that problem, bruh.
 
2022-02-03 10:38:48 AM  
cdn.smehost.netView Full Size
 
2022-02-03 10:39:27 AM  

Gramma: Guy has been married over 20 years has  sex 3-4 times a week and he's complaining?  Fake.


if it isn't the sex you want to have it's just someone annoying you 3-4 times a week.
 
2022-02-03 10:43:51 AM  
The fake letter writer is an idiot. Part of his problem is that he is getting older. Get used to it. You will never be 25 again. He might need meds some day though. He also may need to lose a bit of weight. Having extra weight can screw around with blood flow.
 
2022-02-03 10:48:33 AM  

LordBeavis: foo monkey: Be thankful someone is still willing to touch you while she thinks about her boyfriend from college who played bass guitar.

Nice try but no one has ever fantasized about a bass guitar player.


As a bass player I can confirm this
 
2022-02-03 11:01:10 AM  
Fark her sister. Seriously, the sister is similar to what he has, but just a tad different. Chances are she'll be into something just enough different to make him happy, that he'll be able to talk her into. He might need to fark her multiple times to figure out what works. We get it- this takes practice, but his wife will appreciate it.

Oh, and livestream the conversation with the wife where he explains what he wants to do and who he got the idea from.
 
2022-02-03 11:38:02 AM  

Gramma: Guy has been married over 20 years has  sex 3-4 times a week and he's complaining?  Fake.


Anything can get old when there's no variety, especially when you're with a partner who refuses to offer oral or manual stimulation. All things being equal, guys have more valid reasons to object to oral than women do, this lady is just being selfish.
 
2022-02-03 11:48:02 AM  
My wife has stated that the only way she can satisfactorily orgasm is missionary, and then only once per session. Oral will work, but it doesn't result in as intense of an orgasm, so that's only a bit of warm up. Once she cums she says sex feels uncomfortable, so I have to finish up promptly, as I climax 2-3 times per go. I just wish there was a bit more variety, sometimes I can at least get her to start in a different position before shifting back to missionary, though it really dampers the spontaneity. After 10 years I've gotten pretty conditioned to the cues so I'm unlikely to spring into action and bend her over the dining table, plus that would probably horrify our 2 young kids.
 
2022-02-03 11:48:07 AM  
media-amazon.comView Full Size
 
2022-02-03 12:40:13 PM  

LordBeavis: foo monkey: Be thankful someone is still willing to touch you while she thinks about her boyfriend from college who played bass guitar.

Nice try but no one has ever fantasized about a bass guitar player.


I used to have a strange attraction to Kim Deal.  I probably still do, I just haven't thought about her for a little while.
 
2022-02-03 4:09:33 PM  

Madison_Smiled: LordBeavis: foo monkey: Be thankful someone is still willing to touch you while she thinks about her boyfriend from college who played bass guitar.

Nice try but no one has ever fantasized about a bass guitar player.

Counterpoint:
[Fark user image 425x549]


Kate Davis isn't all about that bass
Youtube 3sBUw-CQtrI


She's cute
 
2022-02-04 12:21:05 PM  
Some people just need to learn more about the doing of the sex.
 
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