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(The Daily Beast)   Of course a man claiming to be sent by God to assassinate Joe Biden was arrested in the parking lot of a Cracker Barrel   (thedailybeast.com) divider line
    More: News, Joe Biden, construction contractor Scott Merryman, United States, Kansas man, Republican Party, President Joe Biden, court records, head of the serpent  
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2682 clicks; posted to Politics » on 29 Jan 2022 at 1:20 AM (15 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



131 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2022-01-28 8:24:21 PM  
Tell anyone you're hearing voices and it can get you committed.

Tell everyone you're hearing a deity (specifically one culturally acceptable to your location) and you can become extremely powerful and make millions.

It's a strange dichotomy.
 
2022-01-28 8:27:01 PM  
"I'm coming for his biatch ass sleepy Joe," Merryman, who does not have a lawyer listed in court records, allegedly told one of the agents. "I'm talking about President Biden and you can quote me."


Enjoy your very long incarceration in a federal facility.
 
2022-01-28 8:32:38 PM  

Badmoodman: "I'm coming for his biatch ass sleepy Joe," Merryman, who does not have a lawyer listed in court records, allegedly told one of the agents. "I'm talking about President Biden and you can quote me."


Enjoy your very long incarceration in a federal facility.


Welcome to your new home!
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-01-28 8:37:56 PM  
How is it not glaringly obvious to everyone that Evangelicals are the baddies?
 
2022-01-28 8:42:09 PM  
Gods too busy with football to do it herself.
 
2022-01-28 8:58:21 PM  
he told agents he "had to deliver a message to President Biden, and advise him that people were fed up with the divisiveness in the country

Delivering a "fatal head wound" probably isn't the best way to get that point across.
 
2022-01-28 9:29:50 PM  
What does God need with a hitman?
 
2022-01-28 9:54:22 PM  
Cracker, please.
 
2022-01-28 10:02:03 PM  
Guess he was sent by God to get arrested in a Cracker Barrel parking lot.
 
2022-01-28 10:07:15 PM  
Why does Yahweh need a neckbeard?
 
2022-01-28 10:38:13 PM  
"...sleepy Joe..."

Sooo this guy's one of those ANTIFA BLM super soldiers, right?
 
2022-01-28 10:55:44 PM  
God kills people by the thousand. He doesn't need this douchebag.
 
2022-01-28 11:27:56 PM  
I bet he never left less than 5 pegs on the pyramid peg jumping puzzle.
 
2022-01-28 11:35:25 PM  

edmo: What does God need with a hitman?


st-takla.orgView Full Size
 
2022-01-28 11:50:59 PM  
Worf is not a merry man
Youtube _zmK-Sn2Ss0
 
2022-01-28 11:56:44 PM  
sir, this is a Cracker Barrel... no, wait...
 
2022-01-29 1:22:12 AM  
i.imgur.comView Full Size


/Obligatory
 
2022-01-29 1:24:45 AM  

Bob Falfa: Badmoodman: "I'm coming for his biatch ass sleepy Joe," Merryman, who does not have a lawyer listed in court records, allegedly told one of the agents. "I'm talking about President Biden and you can quote me."


Enjoy your very long incarceration in a federal facility.

Welcome to your new home!
[Fark user image 768x508]


As cells go, I've seen one whole hell of a lot worse.  That's a friggin' luxury unit right there

/although I'd really hope for a pad for that desk seat around somewhere off camera
 
2022-01-29 1:30:15 AM  

Man On Pink Corner: [i.imgur.com image 760x596]

/Obligatory


The rarest of unicorns: an on-topic, SFWOglaf cartoon.

/bows down
 
2022-01-29 1:30:27 AM  
Sir, this is an Arb....you know what? Close enough.
 
2022-01-29 1:31:10 AM  

Bob Falfa: Badmoodman: "I'm coming for his biatch ass sleepy Joe," Merryman, who does not have a lawyer listed in court records, allegedly told one of the agents. "I'm talking about President Biden and you can quote me."


Enjoy your very long incarceration in a federal facility.

Welcome to your new home!
[Fark user image image 768x508]


That's nicee than my apartment. Are you trying to depress me?
 
2022-01-29 1:31:31 AM  

propasaurus: "...sleepy Joe..."

Sooo this guy's one of those ANTIFA BLM super soldiers, right?


He's a little behind on the nomenclature. The buzzword at the moment is Joey.
 
2022-01-29 1:35:26 AM  
Ever notice how God never sends people to open a homeless shelter, or a hospital, or a children's park?  But He musters legions to slaughter people?  Maybe these guys ought to change the channel selector off Molech for a bit.
 
2022-01-29 1:36:22 AM  

hubiestubert: Why does Yahweh need a neckbeard?


Acne scars.  The teen deity years were harsh.
 
2022-01-29 1:36:57 AM  
God never tells someone "go take a shiat in the salad bar at Wendy's"

/RIP George
 
2022-01-29 1:38:55 AM  

phalamir: Ever notice how God never sends people to open a homeless shelter, or a hospital, or a children's park?  But He musters legions to slaughter people?  Maybe these guys ought to change the channel selector off Molech for a bit.


When someone says "god works in mysterious ways," it means god sends people to help accomplish the things you like but his sorry ass better show up in person for anything you don't like.
 
2022-01-29 1:40:28 AM  

erik-k: Man On Pink Corner: [i.imgur.com image 760x596]

/Obligatory

The rarest of unicorns: an on-topic, SFWOglaf cartoon.

/bows down


Somewhat surprisingly there's a whole imgur page of quite a ton of SFW Oglafs.  Someone just had to I guess

SFW Oglaf Comics Imgur Gallery
 
2022-01-29 1:40:44 AM  

Bob Falfa: Badmoodman: "I'm coming for his biatch ass sleepy Joe," Merryman, who does not have a lawyer listed in court records, allegedly told one of the agents. "I'm talking about President Biden and you can quote me."


Enjoy your very long incarceration in a federal facility.

Welcome to your new home!
[Fark user image 768x508]


I wouldn't mind having a crash pad like that near the bars.  It has everything you need and easy to clean up.
 
2022-01-29 1:41:31 AM  
If you were to add up all the parking lot space of and adjacent to every Cracker Barrel, Hobby Lobby, and Chik Fil A, that's a lot of parking spaces.
 
2022-01-29 1:42:36 AM  

etoof: God never tells someone "go take a shiat in the salad bar at Wendy's"

/RIP George


Wait, what? That wasn't gawd? Then who was it?
 
2022-01-29 1:44:27 AM  
BINGO!
 
2022-01-29 1:44:28 AM  
If you had 1000 chimpanzees writing redneck sitcoms for 1000 years, you could knock off and go home for dinner because it would only take about six hours to generate that script.
 
2022-01-29 1:45:34 AM  

edmo: What does God need with a hitman?


How Babby is formed?
 
2022-01-29 1:50:32 AM  
memegenerator.netView Full Size
 
2022-01-29 1:54:51 AM  

ElPrimitivo: edmo: What does God need with a hitman?

[st-takla.org image 850x987]


Wait, so the Assyrians woke up and discovered they were all dead?

That's sloppy editing.
 
2022-01-29 2:01:19 AM  

Natalie Portmanteau: ElPrimitivo: edmo: What does God need with a hitman?

[st-takla.org image 850x987]

Wait, so the Assyrians woke up and discovered they were all dead?

That's sloppy editing.


some of those who hate moses
are the same who rose corpses
 
2022-01-29 2:01:44 AM  
So I guess the terrible offense that Biden must die for is 'not being the shiattiest person on Earth'.
 
2022-01-29 2:06:04 AM  

Bob Falfa: Badmoodman: "I'm coming for his biatch ass sleepy Joe," Merryman, who does not have a lawyer listed in court records, allegedly told one of the agents. "I'm talking about President Biden and you can quote me."


Enjoy your very long incarceration in a federal facility.

Welcome to your new home!
[Fark user image 768x508]


That'd be like 2 grand a month in San Francisco.
 
2022-01-29 2:07:45 AM  

Alphax: So I guess the terrible offense that Biden must die for is 'not being the shiattiest person on Earth'.


Or the cat. The nutsos are going a bit nuts over the cat. Not a rescue, emotional support cat, the usual bullshiat.
 
2022-01-29 2:11:47 AM  

scottydoesntknow: Tell anyone you're hearing voices and it can get you committed.

Tell everyone you're hearing a deity (specifically one culturally acceptable to your location) and you can become extremely powerful and make millions.

It's a strange dichotomy.


I hear voices.
It's called podcasts
 
2022-01-29 2:12:39 AM  
This dude needed to be sent straight to a padded cell.
 
2022-01-29 2:14:12 AM  
Notice he called him "Sleepy Joe." Gee, I wonder who he thinks God is...
 
2022-01-29 2:22:15 AM  
On Jan. 26, construction contractor Scott Merryman drove from Independence, Kansas, to Hagerstown, Maryland, where he was intercepted by the Secret Service in the parking lot of a Cracker Barrel, the complaint states.

Former construction contractor now, I think.

Also, not surprised he was apprehended at a Cracker Barrel. Could this be more on the nose?
 
2022-01-29 2:27:43 AM  
Didn't I make this joke just the other day?

If I go to a Cracker Barrel and a shooting, robbery, or fight does NOT break out then I'm going right back inside and channel my inner Karen to ask for the manager for a full refund and a coupon for the next visit.

And a free pie to go. I don't even like pie.
 
2022-01-29 2:32:00 AM  
"I'm talking about President Biden and you can quote me."

Cool. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.

Friggin lunatic.
 
2022-01-29 2:38:55 AM  
I had an inverse to that guy's experience, psychotic break in 2021 where I was scared Russian spies and GQP were butchering me with energy weapons so I crafted protective habitats and clothing using mixed media art skills while doing paintings that I hoped my pursuers would find endearing enough to not slaughter me, called my doctor and adjusted my meds, slowly got well.

He's a Trumper afraid of Biden who did not seek medical help and prepared for violence. He saw (hallucinated) bad serpents.

I'm a lefty afraid of fascists who sought medical help and engaged in non violent art therapy. I met (hallucinated) nice space aliens.

Psychosis will send your fears after you.
If you're afraid of clowns, then clowns will come after you. You go with what you know. His safety blanket was weapons, mine is aromatherapy and good lighting. I'm a basic biatch.

Psychotics I've spoken with have heard:
- their parents
- the police
- a home owners association
- an adversarial trendy friend group in college
- by a wide margin, most of the voice hearing psychotics I know hear religious content

Notice how those are all vague and stressful authorities that some folks, particularly these voice hearers, both fear and want to please.

I got stuck in a long, long X-File.
I grew up watching X-Files. It inspired my art making and guided me into perceiving the government as a higher power that's generally great but sometimes bewildering and frightening.
So there it is.
 
2022-01-29 2:39:18 AM  

Valter: Didn't I make this joke just the other day?

If I go to a Cracker Barrel and a shooting, robbery, or fight does NOT break out then I'm going right back inside and channel my inner Karen to ask for the manager for a full refund and a coupon for the next visit.

And a free pie to go. I don't even like pie.


No, no I did not. That was a Waffle House.

I think you will forgive me if I consider them to be on the same level.
 
2022-01-29 2:49:25 AM  
Looking through the mobilization indicators scorecard that was offered in a previous thread, we have:

1. Traveling, within the United States or abroad, to carry out or participate in violent extremist activity
5. Identifying-in person or online-specific details of an intended violent activity, including target(s), time frames, and participant roles
8. Communicating intent to engage in violence or a direct threat with justification for action, particularly if presented as necessary or inevitable, in person or online
11. Planning or preparing to travel within the United States to participate in violent extremist activity
12. Seeking or claiming religious, political, or ideological justification or validation for a planned violent act
15. Surveilling potential attack targets
30. Threatening specific violence against a particular physical target, especially in response to current news reporting on political and legislative issues or other flashpoint events that speak to one's ideological concerns
31. Threatening violence toward specific individuals, including civilian, government, law enforcement, or military personnel
32. Producing, promoting, or extensively consuming violent extremist content online or in person, including violent extremist videos, narratives, media, and messaging for suspected criminal purposes
34. Expressing acceptance of violence as a necessary means to achieve ideological goals (for example, communicating a desire for revenge against ideological opponents) and saying that nonviolent means are
ineffective or unavailable
40. Rejecting nonviolent voices in favor of violent extremist ideologues

And that's just from the article.
 
2022-01-29 2:49:56 AM  
Why do these idiots have to ruin one of the few undeniably good things about Red States....Cracker Barrel?  Why?
 
2022-01-29 2:54:22 AM  

scottydoesntknow: Tell anyone you're hearing voices and it can get you committed.

Tell everyone you're hearing a deity (specifically one culturally acceptable to your location) and you can become extremely powerful and make millions.

It's a strange dichotomy.


I miss the old days when we knew how to handle crazy people who claimed that God spoke to them.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
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