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(Texas Tribune)   One is evilly inept and the other is ineptly evil. Who will come out on top? Either way we need a Texas tag   (texastribune.org) divider line
    More: Facepalm, United States, Attorney General Ken Paxton, U.S. Rep. Louie Gohmert, Texas, Facebook, Supreme Court of the United States, Primary election, Donald Trump  
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3204 clicks; posted to Politics » on 28 Jan 2022 at 1:35 PM (16 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



51 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2022-01-28 12:43:31 PM  
✔ Old

✔ White

✔ Male

Both qualify. How will the voters ever be able to decide between them?
 
2022-01-28 1:25:38 PM  
Is Dumb Louie an actual attorney? I can't imagine him passing first year law school, much less the Bar.

And I can really only picture him handling cases involving farm animals.

"Yo honor, we stipulate that Mr. Zuckerman's pig is "Some Pig", but we find the phrase "The Greatest Hog in History" to be defamatory to other pigs and seek compensation for damage to my client's reputation."
 
2022-01-28 1:36:31 PM  
Jesus Christ Texas, pick up your pride.
 
2022-01-28 1:37:07 PM  
Facepalm is the Texas tag.
 
2022-01-28 1:38:22 PM  

MrBallou: Is Dumb Louie an actual attorney? I can't imagine him passing first year law school, much less the Bar.

And I can really only picture him handling cases involving farm animals.

"Yo honor, we stipulate that Mr. Zuckerman's pig is "Some Pig", but we find the phrase "The Greatest Hog in History" to be defamatory to other pigs and seek compensation for damage to my client's reputation."


Dumb Louie was elected three times as a Texas judge then appointed Chief Judge of the Texas 12th Court of Appeals by Rick Perry.
 
2022-01-28 1:39:47 PM  
So if Paxton wins he has to resign and there will be time before taking the oath. During this period he will not be a govt official. Time to arrest him.
 
2022-01-28 1:40:29 PM  
BitwiseShift:

Dumb Louie was elected three times as a Texas judge then appointed Chief Judge of the Texas 12th Court of Appeals by Rick Perry.

I was getting impressed until I got to "by Rick Perry"
 
2022-01-28 1:41:01 PM  
C'mon Texas legalize dueling this would be a match up to behold if it's pistols at dawn.
 
2022-01-28 1:41:29 PM  
So assuming it's down to these two clowns, I'm thinking I go Gomert because he's so dumb he won't get as much bad stuff done.

Either way I'm voting straight ticket Democrat.
 
2022-01-28 1:43:18 PM  

MrBallou: Is Dumb Louie an actual attorney? I can't imagine him passing first year law school, much less the Bar.

And I can really only picture him handling cases involving farm animals.

"Yo honor, we stipulate that Mr. Zuckerman's pig is "Some Pig", but we find the phrase "The Greatest Hog in History" to be defamatory to other pigs and seek compensation for damage to my client's reputation."


Not only did Goober pass the bar, he was a state judge for a while. But I didn't realize he was officially running. He promised to run if he raised one million dollars in 10 days. He raised $27,000, so I thought he realized he didn't have the support he thought he did.
 
2022-01-28 1:43:20 PM  
cheatsheet.comView Full Size
 
2022-01-28 1:44:36 PM  

MrBallou: Is Dumb Louie an actual attorney? I can't imagine him passing first year law school, much less the Bar.

And I can really only picture him handling cases involving farm animals.

"Yo honor, we stipulate that Mr. Zuckerman's pig is "Some Pig", but we find the phrase "The Greatest Hog in History" to be defamatory to other pigs and seek compensation for damage to my client's reputation."


He was a farking JUDGE.
 
2022-01-28 1:47:22 PM  
I have never seen a person look so much like a Ferengi as Louie Gohmert.
 
2022-01-28 1:53:29 PM  

shastacola: Jesus Christ Texas, pick up your pride.


Who knew all those badass Texans were actually cucks?
 
2022-01-28 1:56:42 PM  
Doesn't matter who wins, Texas loses.
 
2022-01-28 1:59:14 PM  

Purple_Urkle: C'mon Texas legalize dueling this would be a match up to behold if it's pistols at dawn.


Old "dead-eye" Paxton didn't get that nick name by being a good shot.
Also, if Paxton did manage to put one into Louie's dome, it couldn't possibly do any damage based off how dense his brain is.
 
2022-01-28 2:01:28 PM  

dsmith42: MrBallou: Is Dumb Louie an actual attorney? I can't imagine him passing first year law school, much less the Bar.

And I can really only picture him handling cases involving farm animals.

"Yo honor, we stipulate that Mr. Zuckerman's pig is "Some Pig", but we find the phrase "The Greatest Hog in History" to be defamatory to other pigs and seek compensation for damage to my client's reputation."

Not only did Goober pass the bar, he was a state judge for a while. But I didn't realize he was officially running. He promised to run if he raised one million dollars in 10 days. He raised $27,000, so I thought he realized he didn't have the support he thought he did.


He publicly raised $27,000. I'm sure he got his $1 million worth of support in backroom discussions with a major donor.
 
2022-01-28 2:05:21 PM  
A debate and a strategic meteor strike.
 
2022-01-28 2:06:13 PM  

special20: Purple_Urkle: C'mon Texas legalize dueling this would be a match up to behold if it's pistols at dawn.

Old "dead-eye" Paxton didn't get that nick name by being a good shot.
Also, if Paxton did manage to put one into Louie's dome, it couldn't possibly do any damage based off how dense his brain is.


Louie would show up to the hypothetical legal duel with a pistol.

Ken would win with an AR-15 and Texas would declare assault rifles to be pistols.
 
2022-01-28 2:08:27 PM  
gifimage.netView Full Size
 
2022-01-28 2:12:25 PM  
A race so effed up, a person named George Bush is a non entity in it.
 
2022-01-28 2:15:19 PM  

saturn badger: So if Paxton wins he has to resign and there will be time before taking the oath. During this period he will not be a govt official. Time to arrest him.


Being a government official shouldn't protect him.  He's not a President.

And MAYBE his almost seven year delayed Felony fraud trial will actually start by the election.  Probably not, but maybe.
 
2022-01-28 2:17:06 PM  

bumfuzzled: Doesn't matter who wins, Texas loses.


Just remember , they already voted these two in office  .. They'll get what they deserve ..
 
2022-01-28 2:18:15 PM  

Exile On Beale Street: MrBallou: Is Dumb Louie an actual attorney? I can't imagine him passing first year law school, much less the Bar.

And I can really only picture him handling cases involving farm animals.

"Yo honor, we stipulate that Mr. Zuckerman's pig is "Some Pig", but we find the phrase "The Greatest Hog in History" to be defamatory to other pigs and seek compensation for damage to my client's reputation."

He was a farking JUDGE.


So?  You think passing the bar exam is a requirement to be a judge?
 
2022-01-28 2:19:03 PM  
Update on Paxton's insanely delayed criminal trial(s):

https://www.courthousenews.com/attorney-general-paxton-to-face-two-felony-trials/
 
2022-01-28 2:19:49 PM  
Some Texas Toast might be nice, actually.
 
2022-01-28 2:20:08 PM  
I always assumed Gohmert just came from a crazy ass district. Could he really win a state wide race in Texas? Yeah, I know it is Texas but this isn't Mississippi we're talking.
 
2022-01-28 2:24:37 PM  
What.The.Fark. Texas? JFC.
 
2022-01-28 2:26:08 PM  

Resin33: I always assumed Gohmert just came from a crazy ass district. Could he really win a state wide race in Texas? Yeah, I know it is Texas but this isn't Mississippi we're talking.


The people of Texas are so stupid, a doughy Canadian ivy leaguer convinced them he's a tough guy.

Source: literally me, a Texan
 
2022-01-28 2:30:17 PM  
This is mostly a Hobson's Choice, but I'd go with the one clown who's not under criminal indictment. Fortunately, I'm not in Texas.

George P. Bush is the one Bush family member who defected full MAGA for Trump. Ironically, his father is Jeb who can't stand him (cf. 2016 Presidential primary).
 
2022-01-28 2:30:46 PM  

shastacola: Jesus Christ Texas, pick up your pride.


Says the guy from.....
Michigan?
BWAHAHAAAA!!!!
It's beautiful day out, I believe I will pick up my pride and my disc golf bag and go enjoy this glorious weather.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-01-28 2:32:07 PM  

BitwiseShift: MrBallou: Is Dumb Louie an actual attorney? I can't imagine him passing first year law school, much less the Bar.

And I can really only picture him handling cases involving farm animals.

"Yo honor, we stipulate that Mr. Zuckerman's pig is "Some Pig", but we find the phrase "The Greatest Hog in History" to be defamatory to other pigs and seek compensation for damage to my client's reputation."

Dumb Louie was elected three times as a Texas judge then appointed Chief Judge of the Texas 12th Court of Appeals by Rick Perry.


You don't have to be very smart to impress Rick Perry.
 
2022-01-28 2:32:54 PM  

Maud Dib: shastacola: Jesus Christ Texas, pick up your pride.

Says the guy from.....
Michigan?
BWAHAHAAAA!!!!
It's beautiful day out, I believe I will pick up my pride and my disc golf bag and go enjoy this glorious weather.


[Fark user image 425x318]


Which King of the Hill character are you?

/in the middle of a KOTH marathon
 
2022-01-28 2:36:16 PM  

Uncle Pooky: Resin33: I always assumed Gohmert just came from a crazy ass district. Could he really win a state wide race in Texas? Yeah, I know it is Texas but this isn't Mississippi we're talking.

The people of Texas are so stupid, a doughy Canadian ivy leaguer convinced them he's a tough guy.

Source: literally me, a Texan


Confirmation from a second source: another Texan.

But in Gohmert's case, he is running against a corrupt, fascist Republican and not a Democrat, so my money is on Paxton.

/not literally betting any money
//saving it to get the fark out of this state once and for all
 
2022-01-28 2:45:11 PM  

MrBallou: BitwiseShift: MrBallou: Is Dumb Louie an actual attorney? I can't imagine him passing first year law school, much less the Bar.

And I can really only picture him handling cases involving farm animals.

"Yo honor, we stipulate that Mr. Zuckerman's pig is "Some Pig", but we find the phrase "The Greatest Hog in History" to be defamatory to other pigs and seek compensation for damage to my client's reputation."

Dumb Louie was elected three times as a Texas judge then appointed Chief Judge of the Texas 12th Court of Appeals by Rick Perry.

You don't have to be very smart to impress Rick Perry.


They both went to Texas A&M and both were in the Corps of Cadets. Honestly, that is probably all it took for Perry to pick him.
 
2022-01-28 2:47:32 PM  

robbrie: This is mostly a Hobson's Choice, but I'd go with the one clown who's not under criminal indictment. Fortunately, I'm not in Texas.

George P. Bush is the one Bush family member who defected full MAGA for Trump. Ironically, his father is Jeb who can't stand him (cf. 2016 Presidential primary).


Please clap.
 
2022-01-28 2:52:47 PM  

Maud Dib: shastacola: Jesus Christ Texas, pick up your pride.

Says the guy from.....
Michigan?
BWAHAHAAAA!!!!
It's beautiful day out, I believe I will pick up my pride and my disc golf bag and go enjoy this glorious weather.


[Fark user image 425x318]


I'm not a guy or a football fan.
 
2022-01-28 2:56:20 PM  
Paxton was going after Gohmert with at least one mail piece that directly attacked him. Complete with darkened, unflattering images of Gohmert, the mailer hit him for voting to raise his congressional salary over the years "despite missing hundreds of votes that impacted tax paying Texan families."

If this weak-tea ad is any indication, corrupt Paxton will lose. The mudslide of insane stupid crap Gohmert has spewed over the years, and this standard boring glop is the best attack you can come up with? Sad, low energy.

Hopefully though, Paxton beats Gohmert like a gong in the primary, then is arrested before the general. Everybody wins, except these 2 useless tools.
 
2022-01-28 2:57:59 PM  
It's a shame that the Texas Tribune doesn't have comments. Republicans arguing over who's the most Republican must be a hoot.
 
2022-01-28 2:59:22 PM  

shastacola: Jesus Christ Texas, pick up your pride.


I had to re read the article to be sure.

We're really in danger of having the dumbest man in congress as our attorney general.

I hate my home.
 
2022-01-28 3:08:05 PM  

Uncle Pooky: Resin33: I always assumed Gohmert just came from a crazy ass district. Could he really win a state wide race in Texas? Yeah, I know it is Texas but this isn't Mississippi we're talking.

The people of Texas are so stupid, a doughy Canadian ivy leaguer convinced them he's a tough guy.

Source: literally me, a Texan


Do people in Texas still think that? I'm really curious. I don't understand how the people of Texas could possibly see Cruz as any kind of tough guy. I mean, I guess it is possible because there are people who still think Trump is some kind of genius after listening to him speak.

/it's baffling to me
 
2022-01-28 3:13:06 PM  

DoctorWhat: I have never seen a person look so much like a Ferengi as Louie Gohmert.


His name sounds like one of those 'enemies' in a Legend of Zelda games .you know, those ones that are easy to dispatch but they're just so annoying
 
2022-01-28 3:16:06 PM  

Rattlesnake Rattles Me: Maud Dib: shastacola: Jesus Christ Texas, pick up your pride.

Says the guy from.....
Michigan?
BWAHAHAAAA!!!!
It's beautiful day out, I believe I will pick up my pride and my disc golf bag and go enjoy this glorious weather.


[Fark user image 425x318]

Which King of the Hill character are you?

/in the middle of a KOTH marathon


It wouldn't be Hank.
pbs.twimg.comView Full Size
 
2022-01-28 3:29:17 PM  

Officer Barrelroll: Uncle Pooky: Resin33: I always assumed Gohmert just came from a crazy ass district. Could he really win a state wide race in Texas? Yeah, I know it is Texas but this isn't Mississippi we're talking.

The people of Texas are so stupid, a doughy Canadian ivy leaguer convinced them he's a tough guy.

Source: literally me, a Texan

Do people in Texas still think that? I'm really curious. I don't understand how the people of Texas could possibly see Cruz as any kind of tough guy. I mean, I guess it is possible because there are people who still think Trump is some kind of genius after listening to him speak.

/it's baffling to me


Personally speaking, I don't see how the people of Texas could see him as a guy.
 
2022-01-28 3:58:07 PM  
I could go vote in the GOP primary for trolling purposes, but I don't want them to think that I am one of them, and it's not like there's that many (or really any) sane choices anymore.

/straight ticket Blue, probably for the rest of my life
 
2022-01-28 4:02:45 PM  

Officer Barrelroll: Uncle Pooky: Resin33: I always assumed Gohmert just came from a crazy ass district. Could he really win a state wide race in Texas? Yeah, I know it is Texas but this isn't Mississippi we're talking.

The people of Texas are so stupid, a doughy Canadian ivy leaguer convinced them he's a tough guy.

Source: literally me, a Texan

Do people in Texas still think that? I'm really curious. I don't understand how the people of Texas could possibly see Cruz as any kind of tough guy. I mean, I guess it is possible because there are people who still think Trump is some kind of genius after listening to him speak.

/it's baffling to me


Hating the same people bonds people together that would otherwise ignore each other. Like Nazi Germany and Fascist Italy.
 
2022-01-28 4:12:25 PM  

special20: Rattlesnake Rattles Me: Maud Dib: shastacola: Jesus Christ Texas, pick up your pride.

Says the guy from.....
Michigan?
BWAHAHAAAA!!!!
It's beautiful day out, I believe I will pick up my pride and my disc golf bag and go enjoy this glorious weather.


[Fark user image 425x318]

Which King of the Hill character are you?

/in the middle of a KOTH marathon

It wouldn't be Hank.
[pbs.twimg.com image 850x643]


I work with that guy only black hair and he does IT and IT accessories...
 
2022-01-28 4:40:57 PM  

Rattlesnake Rattles Me: Officer Barrelroll: Uncle Pooky: Resin33: I always assumed Gohmert just came from a crazy ass district. Could he really win a state wide race in Texas? Yeah, I know it is Texas but this isn't Mississippi we're talking.

The people of Texas are so stupid, a doughy Canadian ivy leaguer convinced them he's a tough guy.

Source: literally me, a Texan

Do people in Texas still think that? I'm really curious. I don't understand how the people of Texas could possibly see Cruz as any kind of tough guy. I mean, I guess it is possible because there are people who still think Trump is some kind of genius after listening to him speak.

/it's baffling to me

Hating the same people bonds people together that would otherwise ignore each other. Like Nazi Germany and Fascist Italy.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-01-28 5:21:49 PM  

Resin33: I always assumed Gohmert just came from a crazy ass district. Could he really win a state wide race in Texas? Yeah, I know it is Texas but this isn't Mississippi we're talking.


Versus Paxton, when Louie starts running ads about how Paxton used his office to get a no-show job for his side piece?
 
2022-01-28 5:59:38 PM  
Why are so many high profile people from the same party going for the same race that isn't POTUS?
 
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