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(Slate)   "My friend has a child. Said child is a complete asshole. Am I required to be nice to said child?"   (slate.com) divider line
    More: Awkward, Mother, Love, Family, great relationship, lot of family support, much self-sacrifice, new wife, 14-year-old daughter  
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671 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 28 Jan 2022 at 11:20 AM (16 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2022-01-28 11:24:23 AM  
What's his fark handle?
 
2022-01-28 11:25:01 AM  
Why does this have an awkward tag? Just dump the friend until their crotch-rot leaves home.
 
2022-01-28 11:28:54 AM  
I'm sure said asshole will blossom into a delightful teenager.
 
2022-01-28 11:34:59 AM  

oldfarthenry: I'm sure said asshole will blossom into a delightful teenager.


Those will amaze you.  I've known a couple raging assholes that hit middle school and had some sense knocked into them.  Whether it was puberty, the decreasing supervision, or that teachers gave less of a shiat what parents thought I'm not sure.
 
2022-01-28 11:35:00 AM  
By all means you should start a feud with a child. It's good for you. Angries up the blood.

My downstairs neighbor came up a couple of months ago to complain that we're too loud with all our walking and shiat. I told him I wasn't going to relearn how to walk at my age to please him and shut the door.

The baby is nearly 11 months old and likes playing on the tile more than the carpet. Sometimes he bangs toys on the floor and now my neighbor, who is a grown man, beats on his ceiling in response. The baby of course is happy to have someone to play with and bangs back, which provokes more banging until it's somebody's naptime.

I just watch. There's nothing good on TV most of the time anyway.
 
2022-01-28 11:43:58 AM  
"His parents think this is fine because they value "honesty" over the mere "lip service" of gratitude. I disagree, but they're the parents, not me."

Well, if he doesn't appreciate it, just don't do anything for him. And tell him why you stopped. He needs to make the connection.
 
2022-01-28 11:54:41 AM  
Depends on whether they want to keep the friend a friend.
 
2022-01-28 12:03:08 PM  
No.
 
2022-01-28 12:10:35 PM  
("Do NOT mention butt stuff, Naido."
"But the word 'asshole' appears in the headline!"
"It's about a farking child!"
"A *farking* child??"
"JUST DON'T!!")
 
2022-01-28 12:15:07 PM  
There's a world of difference between being polite and being nice.

Yes, you should be polite to the child.  No, there's no reason to be nice to the little shiat.
 
2022-01-28 12:19:53 PM  
Eh, i have a nephew i don't like.   i usually just make Raising Arizona quotes around him.  "mind you don't cut yourself, Mordechai"
 
2022-01-28 12:23:40 PM  
Go the "overly, drippingly, sarcastically kind" route. Speak down to him constantly, but in an ultra-friendly tone.
 
2022-01-28 12:24:01 PM  
img-comment-fun.9cache.comView Full Size
 
2022-01-28 12:30:13 PM  
Looks like a job for Cesar Millan:
s3.amazonaws.comView Full Size

Real person, his real job.
 
2022-01-28 12:32:55 PM  
No.  In fact, ignore it completely.  Any attention you give to brats is what they thrive on, like Fark trolls.  Establish out of bounds areas in the house in the beginning, but let the parent be the enforcer.  Praise correct behaviour to the hills, ignore bad behaviour.

If that doesn't work, drop the friend until the kid grows up and leaves home.
 
2022-01-28 12:33:08 PM  
Politely but firmly call out the child for being rude in front of their parents.

" Jimmy I asked you not to do X. Please stop."

The resulting embarrassment trains both the child and the parents. Public shaming is one of the best teaching tools we as humans have when used responsibly.
 
2022-01-28 12:33:38 PM  
No, you're not.  And if you're an asshole to the kid, your friend is also not required to be nice to you.
 
2022-01-28 12:45:06 PM  

Koodz: By all means you should start a feud with a child. It's good for you. Angries up the blood.

My downstairs neighbor came up a couple of months ago to complain that we're too loud with all our walking and shiat. I told him I wasn't going to relearn how to walk at my age to please him and shut the door.

The baby is nearly 11 months old and likes playing on the tile more than the carpet. Sometimes he bangs toys on the floor and now my neighbor, who is a grown man, beats on his ceiling in response. The baby of course is happy to have someone to play with and bangs back, which provokes more banging until it's somebody's naptime.

I just watch. There's nothing good on TV most of the time anyway.


You are a POS. An example of what is wrong with humanity.
 
2022-01-28 12:47:05 PM  
The kid is probably on the spectrum.

Maybe instead of giving him a 'thing', instead provide an experience with him.

/no not that kind of experience
 
2022-01-28 12:47:34 PM  

Heamer: Go the "overly, drippingly, sarcastically kind" route. Speak down to him constantly, but in an ultra-friendly tone.


I do that to the cat but I think he sees through it. "Oh my, kitty! You sure are a fat fark, aren't you! Aren't you? yes you are, yes you are! Go ahead, eat some more kibble, fatty!"
 
2022-01-28 12:53:09 PM  

FarkingChas: Koodz: By all means you should start a feud with a child. It's good for you. Angries up the blood.

My downstairs neighbor came up a couple of months ago to complain that we're too loud with all our walking and shiat. I told him I wasn't going to relearn how to walk at my age to please him and shut the door.

The baby is nearly 11 months old and likes playing on the tile more than the carpet. Sometimes he bangs toys on the floor and now my neighbor, who is a grown man, beats on his ceiling in response. The baby of course is happy to have someone to play with and bangs back, which provokes more banging until it's somebody's naptime.

I just watch. There's nothing good on TV most of the time anyway.

You are a POS. An example of what is wrong with humanity.


So should I take toys away from a baby to please a stranger or just ban him from half of his own home to keep him from leaving the carpet?
 
2022-01-28 1:08:56 PM  

Koodz: FarkingChas: Koodz: By all means you should start a feud with a child. It's good for you. Angries up the blood.

My downstairs neighbor came up a couple of months ago to complain that we're too loud with all our walking and shiat. I told him I wasn't going to relearn how to walk at my age to please him and shut the door.

The baby is nearly 11 months old and likes playing on the tile more than the carpet. Sometimes he bangs toys on the floor and now my neighbor, who is a grown man, beats on his ceiling in response. The baby of course is happy to have someone to play with and bangs back, which provokes more banging until it's somebody's naptime.

I just watch. There's nothing good on TV most of the time anyway.

You are a POS. An example of what is wrong with humanity.

So should I take toys away from a baby to please a stranger or just ban him from half of his own home to keep him from leaving the carpet?


Yes, keeping him on the carpet with his toys is a reasonable think to do. You should start teaching the baby. That "stranger" is just as important in this world as your little monster. If you can't grow up, what chance does your baby have? But you enjoy pissing off others, so that makes you a POS.
 
2022-01-28 1:15:48 PM  

FarkingChas: Koodz: FarkingChas: Koodz: By all means you should start a feud with a child. It's good for you. Angries up the blood.

My downstairs neighbor came up a couple of months ago to complain that we're too loud with all our walking and shiat. I told him I wasn't going to relearn how to walk at my age to please him and shut the door.

The baby is nearly 11 months old and likes playing on the tile more than the carpet. Sometimes he bangs toys on the floor and now my neighbor, who is a grown man, beats on his ceiling in response. The baby of course is happy to have someone to play with and bangs back, which provokes more banging until it's somebody's naptime.

I just watch. There's nothing good on TV most of the time anyway.

You are a POS. An example of what is wrong with humanity.

So should I take toys away from a baby to please a stranger or just ban him from half of his own home to keep him from leaving the carpet?

Yes, keeping him on the carpet with his toys is a reasonable think to do. You should start teaching the baby. That "stranger" is just as important in this world as your little monster. If you can't grow up, what chance does your baby have? But you enjoy pissing off others, so that makes you a POS.


The man came to a stranger's home and told them the rules for how to walk in their own home in the daytime. Everybody's asleep by 2100 so it's not like we're keeping him up all night.

He freely chose to live on the bottom floor of an apartment building. He could have lived on top. Hell, I'm in the middle. He can move above me and stomp around until he feels like he has redeemed himself.

I have usually lived on the bottom of apartment buildings and I have never in my life visited my upstairs neighbors to tell them not to stomp, dance, play music, own dogs, or anything like that. I can't imagine having the sense of entitlement it takes to do that.

I'm legitimately sad that you learned to shrink yourself to fit the box others want you to put you in. I will not be joining you, and my son will not be joining you in learning to tiptoe before he learns to walk.
 
2022-01-28 1:21:30 PM  
Koodz:The baby is nearly 11 months old and likes playing on the tile more than the carpet. Sometimes he bangs toys on the floor and now my neighbor, who is a grown man, beats on his ceiling in response. The baby of course is happy to have someone to play with and bangs back, which provokes more banging until it's somebody's naptime.

I want to watch this through the windows from outside your building: a cooing baby happily banging a toy on the floor while the neighbor below stands on a chair and pounds on his ceiling with his fists while foaming at the mouth, making the baby giggle and bang some more.
 
2022-01-28 1:21:44 PM  
I have over the years made special handmade gifts for this kid-a drawing of him as a favorite cartoon character, a glow-in-the-dark dragon sculpture-which are not even acknowledged,

Next time give him some cheap knock off shiat or nothing at all. If anyone have anything to say about it just tell them you didn't think he cared
 
2022-01-28 1:26:12 PM  

Barricaded Gunman: Koodz:The baby is nearly 11 months old and likes playing on the tile more than the carpet. Sometimes he bangs toys on the floor and now my neighbor, who is a grown man, beats on his ceiling in response. The baby of course is happy to have someone to play with and bangs back, which provokes more banging until it's somebody's naptime.

I want to watch this through the windows from outside your building: a cooing baby happily banging a toy on the floor while the neighbor below stands on a chair and pounds on his ceiling with his fists while foaming at the mouth, making the baby giggle and bang some more.


The toy in question:

i5.walmartimages.comView Full Size


I'm surprised the dickhead doesn't have to climb a ladder and put his ear to the ceiling to hear it.
 
2022-01-28 1:32:09 PM  

Koodz: FarkingChas: Koodz: FarkingChas: Koodz: By all means you should start a feud with a child. It's good for you. Angries up the blood.

My downstairs neighbor came up a couple of months ago to complain that we're too loud with all our walking and shiat. I told him I wasn't going to relearn how to walk at my age to please him and shut the door.

The baby is nearly 11 months old and likes playing on the tile more than the carpet. Sometimes he bangs toys on the floor and now my neighbor, who is a grown man, beats on his ceiling in response. The baby of course is happy to have someone to play with and bangs back, which provokes more banging until it's somebody's naptime.

I just watch. There's nothing good on TV most of the time anyway.

You are a POS. An example of what is wrong with humanity.

So should I take toys away from a baby to please a stranger or just ban him from half of his own home to keep him from leaving the carpet?

Yes, keeping him on the carpet with his toys is a reasonable think to do. You should start teaching the baby. That "stranger" is just as important in this world as your little monster. If you can't grow up, what chance does your baby have? But you enjoy pissing off others, so that makes you a POS.

The man came to a stranger's home and told them the rules for how to walk in their own home in the daytime. Everybody's asleep by 2100 so it's not like we're keeping him up all night.


BS. He did not tell you how to walk. That is distortion. It is not your own home. It is a shared space. He is not a "stranger". He shares your living space. "He" needs to move because you are a rude, uncaring shiat?
 
2022-01-28 1:45:17 PM  

FarkingChas: Koodz: FarkingChas: Koodz: FarkingChas: Koodz: By all means you should start a feud with a child. It's good for you. Angries up the blood.

My downstairs neighbor came up a couple of months ago to complain that we're too loud with all our walking and shiat. I told him I wasn't going to relearn how to walk at my age to please him and shut the door.

The baby is nearly 11 months old and likes playing on the tile more than the carpet. Sometimes he bangs toys on the floor and now my neighbor, who is a grown man, beats on his ceiling in response. The baby of course is happy to have someone to play with and bangs back, which provokes more banging until it's somebody's naptime.

I just watch. There's nothing good on TV most of the time anyway.

You are a POS. An example of what is wrong with humanity.

So should I take toys away from a baby to please a stranger or just ban him from half of his own home to keep him from leaving the carpet?

Yes, keeping him on the carpet with his toys is a reasonable think to do. You should start teaching the baby. That "stranger" is just as important in this world as your little monster. If you can't grow up, what chance does your baby have? But you enjoy pissing off others, so that makes you a POS.

The man came to a stranger's home and told them the rules for how to walk in their own home in the daytime. Everybody's asleep by 2100 so it's not like we're keeping him up all night.

BS. He did not tell you how to walk. That is distortion. It is not your own home. It is a shared space. He is not a "stranger". He shares your living space. "He" needs to move because you are a rude, uncaring shiat?


Yes, he said we walk too heavily and asked me to be mindful of the noise I am making. I do not walk unusually. He hasn't come by to complain about the baby, who at the time he visited was a potato and not capable of getting to the tile or banging toys on the tile. I don't blast music, vacuum late or often, or anything else in my apartment. I live normal everyday life. I walk around, play with the baby, cook, shower, sleep, etc. I don't have to pretend to be Kwai Chang Caine walking on rice paper all day and night in my own home which yes it farking is.

The apartment I pay rent on is not a shared space and absolutely he's a stranger. He's not a friend. He's not family. He's nothing but a stranger. I don't know about him or want to know about him.

He doesn't have to move. He has to accept that sometimes you can hear your neighbors. I hear my neighbors every day and I accept that without complaint. If he can't accept that it is his issue to work through.
 
2022-01-28 1:52:30 PM  

Koodz: By all means you should start a feud with a child. It's good for you. Angries up the blood.

My downstairs neighbor came up a couple of months ago to complain that we're too loud with all our walking and shiat. I told him I wasn't going to relearn how to walk at my age to please him and shut the door.

The baby is nearly 11 months old and likes playing on the tile more than the carpet. Sometimes he bangs toys on the floor and now my neighbor, who is a grown man, beats on his ceiling in response. The baby of course is happy to have someone to play with and bangs back, which provokes more banging until it's somebody's naptime.

I just watch. There's nothing good on TV most of the time anyway.


I just don't get people who move into apartments expecting absolute peace and quiet. If you don't want to hear your upstairs neighbors walking around, you get the upper apartment. You don't rent the lower one then throw a fit every time someone walks across the floor.
 
2022-01-28 1:55:14 PM  

FarkingChas: Koodz: FarkingChas: Koodz: FarkingChas: Koodz: By all means you should start a feud with a child. It's good for you. Angries up the blood.

My downstairs neighbor came up a couple of months ago to complain that we're too loud with all our walking and shiat. I told him I wasn't going to relearn how to walk at my age to please him and shut the door.

The baby is nearly 11 months old and likes playing on the tile more than the carpet. Sometimes he bangs toys on the floor and now my neighbor, who is a grown man, beats on his ceiling in response. The baby of course is happy to have someone to play with and bangs back, which provokes more banging until it's somebody's naptime.

I just watch. There's nothing good on TV most of the time anyway.

You are a POS. An example of what is wrong with humanity.

So should I take toys away from a baby to please a stranger or just ban him from half of his own home to keep him from leaving the carpet?

Yes, keeping him on the carpet with his toys is a reasonable think to do. You should start teaching the baby. That "stranger" is just as important in this world as your little monster. If you can't grow up, what chance does your baby have? But you enjoy pissing off others, so that makes you a POS.

The man came to a stranger's home and told them the rules for how to walk in their own home in the daytime. Everybody's asleep by 2100 so it's not like we're keeping him up all night.

BS. He did not tell you how to walk. That is distortion. It is not your own home. It is a shared space. He is not a "stranger". He shares your living space. "He" needs to move because you are a rude, uncaring shiat?


Also actual note taped to my door by the neighbor a couple of weeks before his visit:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-01-28 2:06:34 PM  
Koodz:
Also actual note taped to my door by the neighbor a couple of weeks before his visit:

[Fark user image 425x416]


A polite note. And you get triggered and call him the monster. Then you say you enjoy when your baby makes a lot of noise. How DO you walk, anyway? Methinks it is not the normal way you claim.
 
2022-01-28 2:10:37 PM  

FarkingChas: Koodz:
Also actual note taped to my door by the neighbor a couple of weeks before his visit:

[Fark user image 425x416]

A polite note. And you get triggered and call him the monster. Then you say you enjoy when your baby makes a lot of noise. How DO you walk, anyway? Methinks it is not the normal way you claim.


Who gives a shiat? Suppose I walk like a clown? I still can't change that.

And asking politely for ridiculous things is no less ridiculous.

As far as I can tell you're the one with issues, dude. We're not going to convince each other of anything.

Take the last word if you like.
 
2022-01-28 2:14:35 PM  

Koodz: FarkingChas: Koodz:
Also actual note taped to my door by the neighbor a couple of weeks before his visit:

[Fark user image 425x416]

A polite note. And you get triggered and call him the monster. Then you say you enjoy when your baby makes a lot of noise. How DO you walk, anyway? Methinks it is not the normal way you claim.

Who gives a shiat? Suppose I walk like a clown? I still can't change that.


Yes you can. But you just don't give a shiat. As you just said.


And asking politely for ridiculous things is no less ridiculous.

Not a ridiculous request. Quite reasonable.


As far as I can tell you're the one with issues, dude.

Or ... you are just a POS.
 
2022-01-28 2:17:18 PM  
I'd probably hit him with something to this effect.
abed and chang at the mixer
Youtube XY5-TcQcguI

If you act awkward enough around tiny people, they just avoid you. Problem solved.
 
2022-01-28 2:18:37 PM  
If there's one thing I've learned from Fark, it's that you can definitely tell everything you need to know about someone from a few of their posts on a very specific topic.
 
2022-01-28 2:20:35 PM  

ReapTheChaos: Koodz: By all means you should start a feud with a child. It's good for you. Angries up the blood.

My downstairs neighbor came up a couple of months ago to complain that we're too loud with all our walking and shiat. I told him I wasn't going to relearn how to walk at my age to please him and shut the door.

The baby is nearly 11 months old and likes playing on the tile more than the carpet. Sometimes he bangs toys on the floor and now my neighbor, who is a grown man, beats on his ceiling in response. The baby of course is happy to have someone to play with and bangs back, which provokes more banging until it's somebody's naptime.

I just watch. There's nothing good on TV most of the time anyway.

I just don't get people who move into apartments expecting absolute peace and quiet. If you don't want to hear your upstairs neighbors walking around, you get the upper apartment. You don't rent the lower one then throw a fit every time someone walks across the floor.



This is a tricky one. I've known people who are insanely unreasonable about any noise.
On the other hand, having a little one living above if noise carries easily would be hell. When he's a toddler it will get much worse, with all the jumping and toddlers do because they're toddlers.(Of course, its not the toddler's fault).

Landlord should never have rented to a family with a baby if the landlord also wanted to have tenants living below. However, if the upper tenants rented before having the baby, the landlord can't be faulted either.

Its entirely possible that its nobody's fault, and everybody is right. Babies/toddlers are babies/toddlers. But babies/toddlers are unreasonably noisy if you're living below.

I know landlords that in this case, all things being equal, have solved it by telling families with baby move out. They know the problem will only get a LOT worse when that baby becomes a toddler.

Doesn't sound fair if you're the family that has to move, but that's one of the considerations in having a baby.

If the baby/toddler is actually being noisy, it is only totally natural for babies, but that's the only thing that will solve it. Having the downstairs tenant replaced is not going to solve anything. It will just repeat the problem and repeatedly give everyone involved grief.

All that said, the landlord should take a financial hit on this (payable to the family that has to move elsewhere) if the landlord was stupid enough to rent an upper unit to a family that already has a baby. (Also, chances are the landlord was not totally open and clear about the baby situation when the downstairs tenant was checking out the place.)

*Gavel banging sound here*. Judgement for the downstairs plaintiff. Baby family has to move, but gets two months free rent from the landlord as remediation. The parties may now leave the courtroom.
 
2022-01-28 2:26:47 PM  

FarkingChas: Koodz:
Also actual note taped to my door by the neighbor a couple of weeks before his visit:

[Fark user image 425x416]

A polite note. And you get triggered and call him the monster. Then you say you enjoy when your baby makes a lot of noise. How DO you walk, anyway? Methinks it is not the normal way you claim.


One the one hand, the tenant should be calling the landlord. Contacting the other tenant directly is a recipe for trouble and arguments.

On the other hand, I wouldn't be quick to blame somebody for how they walk. Normal walking can carry loudly below in certain builds. Its really hard to know which kind of walking we're dealing with here, or whether or not the downstairs tenant is just overly sensitive to noise.

All that said, judgement is still for the downstairs tenant. BUT if the next renter (without a baby) moves in above and the downstairs tenant still complains about walking, the downstairs tenant can go and get bent.
 
2022-01-28 2:29:51 PM  

ChibiDebuHage: ReapTheChaos: I just don't get people who move into apartments expecting absolute peace and quiet. If you don't want to hear your upstairs neighbors walking around, you get the upper apartment. You don't rent the lower one then throw a fit every time someone walks across the floor.

This is a tricky one. I've known people who are insanely unreasonable about any noise.
On the other hand, having a little one living above if noise carries easily would be hell. When he's a toddler it will get much worse, with all the jumping and toddlers do because they're toddlers.(Of course, its not the toddler's fault).

Landlord should never have rented to a family with a baby if the landlord also wanted to have tenants living below. However, if the upper tenants rented before having the baby, the landlord can't be faulted either.

Its entirely possible that its nobody's fault, and everybody is right. Babies/toddlers are babies/toddlers. But babies/toddlers are unreasonably noisy if you're living below.

I know landlords that in this case, all things being equal, have solved it by telling families with baby move out. They know the problem will only get a LOT worse when that baby becomes a toddler.

Doesn't sound fair if you're the family that has to move, but that's one of the considerations in having a baby.

If the baby/toddler is actually being noisy, it is only totally natural for babies, but that's the only thing that will solve it. Having the downstairs tenant replaced is not going to solve anything. It will just repeat the problem and repeatedly give everyone involved grief.

All that said, the landlord should take a financial hit on this (payable to the family that has to move elsewhere) if the landlord was stupid enough to rent an upper unit to a family that already has a baby. (Also, chances are the landlord was not totally open and clear about the baby situation when the downstairs tenant was checking out the place.)

*Gavel banging sound here*. Judgement for the downstairs plaintiff. Baby family has to move, but gets two months free rent from the landlord as remediation. The parties may now leave the courtroom.


You might want to read the Fair Housing Act because what you're saying is illegal.
 
2022-01-28 2:36:17 PM  

ChibiDebuHage: ReapTheChaos: Koodz: By all means you should start a feud with a child. It's good for you. Angries up the blood.

My downstairs neighbor came up a couple of months ago to complain that we're too loud with all our walking and shiat. I told him I wasn't going to relearn how to walk at my age to please him and shut the door.

The baby is nearly 11 months old and likes playing on the tile more than the carpet. Sometimes he bangs toys on the floor and now my neighbor, who is a grown man, beats on his ceiling in response. The baby of course is happy to have someone to play with and bangs back, which provokes more banging until it's somebody's naptime.

I just watch. There's nothing good on TV most of the time anyway.

I just don't get people who move into apartments expecting absolute peace and quiet. If you don't want to hear your upstairs neighbors walking around, you get the upper apartment. You don't rent the lower one then throw a fit every time someone walks across the floor.


This is a tricky one. I've known people who are insanely unreasonable about any noise.
On the other hand, having a little one living above if noise carries easily would be hell. When he's a toddler it will get much worse, with all the jumping and toddlers do because they're toddlers.(Of course, its not the toddler's fault).

Landlord should never have rented to a family with a baby if the landlord also wanted to have tenants living below. However, if the upper tenants rented before having the baby, the landlord can't be faulted either.

Its entirely possible that its nobody's fault, and everybody is right. Babies/toddlers are babies/toddlers. But babies/toddlers are unreasonably noisy if you're living below.

I know landlords that in this case, all things being equal, have solved it by telling families with baby move out. They know the problem will only get a LOT worse when that baby becomes a toddler.

Doesn't sound fair if you're the family that has to move, but that's one of the considerat ...


Try that argument in court and see how well it goes for you.
 
2022-01-28 2:55:48 PM  

ReapTheChaos: Landlord should never have rented to a family with a baby if the landlord also wanted to have tenants living below. However, if the upper tenants rented before having the baby, the landlord can't be faulted either. ...


You might want to read the Fair Housing Act because what you're saying is illegal.


Of course none of them say out loud, "I'm not renting to you because you have a family with a baby", but I'm only telling you the reality about how a lot of very experienced landlords I know actually deal with this, when they see this problem coming from a mile away:

(1) If they are considering multiple rental applications in at the same time, which is most often the case where I live, the landlord has a right to choose the "best fit" for the place being rented. Of course, that means not choosing the family with a baby if noise carries loudly to a rental unit below.

(2) If there is only a single application for a place where noise carries easily downstairs, and the family has a baby or young children, the landlord should repeatedly make it very, VERY clear to the applicant with a baby that they are welcome to apply BUT that in the landlord's experience it will likely result in a lot of complaints, grief, and the complaining tenant will have a right to take the matter to tenancy rights tribunal or court of some kind --- which often rules in favor of the downstairs tenant. The landlord should cite personally known cases of this happening.

Doing (1) or (2) is not illegal.

Finally, it is just common sense.
The landlord should know that renting an upper unit (when noise carries easily below) to a family will mean:
(1) grief for the (revolving) downstairs tenant(s)
(2) grief for the upstairs tenants with baby
(3) grief and a lot of time wasted on a problem for the landlord, for an easily predicable problem
(4) lost revenue on the unit below (if the downstairs tenants keep moving out, and renters are hard to find)
(5) Potential violence and damage to the property from the predictable escalating problems.
 
2022-01-28 3:02:26 PM  

ChibiDebuHage: the complaining tenant will have a right to take the matter to tenancy rights tribunal or court of some kind --- which often rules in favor of the downstairs tenan


On what planet does this happen?
 
2022-01-28 3:05:43 PM  

Koodz: ChibiDebuHage: the complaining tenant will have a right to take the matter to tenancy rights tribunal or court of some kind --- which often rules in favor of the downstairs tenan

On what planet does this happen?


*Shrug* Right, I'm making it all up then?

It happens. Settling disputes is hard.
 
2022-01-28 3:16:39 PM  

Koodz: By all means you should start a feud with a child. It's good for you. Angries up the blood.

My downstairs neighbor came up a couple of months ago to complain that we're too loud with all our walking and shiat. I told him I wasn't going to relearn how to walk at my age to please him and shut the door.

The baby is nearly 11 months old and likes playing on the tile more than the carpet. Sometimes he bangs toys on the floor and now my neighbor, who is a grown man, beats on his ceiling in response. The baby of course is happy to have someone to play with and bangs back, which provokes more banging until it's somebody's naptime.

I just watch. There's nothing good on TV most of the time anyway.


Reminds me of when I lived in a first floor apartment. The people above me would often have sex at 1am or something on a bed with a squeaky bed frame. I would be trying to sleep and would hear every farking squeak. The part I thought was weird was that afterward, someone would get up and walk around with the heaviest damn steps. *TROMP TROMP TROMP* I mean... wtf? Did they keep their work boots on while they smashed and then go stomping around the apartment after? Every time?
 
2022-01-28 3:16:52 PM  

ChibiDebuHage: Koodz: ChibiDebuHage: the complaining tenant will have a right to take the matter to tenancy rights tribunal or court of some kind --- which often rules in favor of the downstairs tenan

On what planet does this happen?

*Shrug* Right, I'm making it all up then?

It happens. Settling disputes is hard.


It's not a thing here in North Carolina for sure, but I'd like to hear of a case where a "court of some kind" turned a family with children out of their dwelling as noted above in violation of the Fair Housing Act because the children were loud and a downstairs neighbor complained.

You've made an extraordinary claim, so it's not weird for someone to want proof beyond your assertion.
 
2022-01-28 3:18:17 PM  

patrick767: Koodz: By all means you should start a feud with a child. It's good for you. Angries up the blood.

My downstairs neighbor came up a couple of months ago to complain that we're too loud with all our walking and shiat. I told him I wasn't going to relearn how to walk at my age to please him and shut the door.

The baby is nearly 11 months old and likes playing on the tile more than the carpet. Sometimes he bangs toys on the floor and now my neighbor, who is a grown man, beats on his ceiling in response. The baby of course is happy to have someone to play with and bangs back, which provokes more banging until it's somebody's naptime.

I just watch. There's nothing good on TV most of the time anyway.

Reminds me of when I lived in a first floor apartment. The people above me would often have sex at 1am or something on a bed with a squeaky bed frame. I would be trying to sleep and would hear every farking squeak. The part I thought was weird was that afterward, someone would get up and walk around with the heaviest damn steps. *TROMP TROMP TROMP* I mean... wtf? Did they keep their work boots on while they smashed and then go stomping around the apartment after? Every time?


I'm pretty sure my last upstairs neighbors had a judo match before sex and the winner got to be on top.

They were vocal about it too. My in-laws went home early from a visit once rather than listen to another night of it.
 
2022-01-28 3:21:23 PM  

Koodz: ChibiDebuHage: the complaining tenant will have a right to take the matter to tenancy rights tribunal or court of some kind --- which often rules in favor of the downstairs tenan

On what planet does this happen?


Let me ask you this.

You've been living in a downstairs apartment suite for 15 years. You're now retired, in your 70's and can't afford to move elsewhere, because rents have gone up a lot in the last 15 years, and you can barely make ends meet on your monthly income as it already is. You spend most of the day at home, for medical reasons, and have a reasonable expectation for peace and quiet in your home.

Suddenly, the apartment above you is rented to a family with a 2 year old and a 4 year old. They jump and play --- like any their age should reasonable do --- throughout the day, and the noise carries loudly to your downstairs suite.

So what's your solution?

(A) Tell the poor retiree that he can move out or will have to put up with this huge disruption throughout his day, that turns his retired life upside down?
(B) Tell the poor family upstairs that they are too loud and should move out. (Telling them to stop their kids 100% from jumping and running  is nonsensical, they are kids)
(C) Landlord has to bite the bullet and have an unrented lower suite until the kids are old enough to stop jumping and running around

If you choose (A), the old guy is either unreasonably going through hell in his twilight years or the problem is likely to repeat if he moves out and somebody else moves in.

If you choose (A) or (B) its "not fair" to somebody, and people will say you are trampling on somebody's rights. If you choose (C) its also "not fair", though we obviously have much less sympathy for the landlord/owner.

I'd really love to hear your solution that properly takes into account both the poor old guy and and the family below.

Settling disputes is hard.

/ BTW, them switching apartments is almost never a viable solution. Different square footage, layouts, etc, etc.
 
2022-01-28 3:22:57 PM  
At 9, my niece was taken on a big trip to Chicago.  The goal - The American Girl store. It was a whole weekend, and was my niece, sister in law, mother in law, and me.  She was a flaming BRAT.  When we got back to St. Louis, and were leaving the train, she pushed past a guy, who was holding a baby, almost knocking the baby out of his arms.  I stopped her, and said "Hey, I love you, but I'm very disappointed in you. You almost knocked a baby to the floor, being selfish and rude.  I can't believe you thought that was correct.  I find it sad, because I know you can be better."

From that day, she has ALWAYS been unfailingly polite around me, and actually calls me her "cool aunt". It was hard to hold my temper... that baby almost falling made me incandescent, and her mother / grandmother did and said NOTHING.  So... it was a gamble, but I took it. It paid off. Could easily have backfired, and made her worse.
 
2022-01-28 3:27:01 PM  

ChibiDebuHage: Koodz: ChibiDebuHage: the complaining tenant will have a right to take the matter to tenancy rights tribunal or court of some kind --- which often rules in favor of the downstairs tenan

On what planet does this happen?

Let me ask you this.

You've been living in a downstairs apartment suite for 15 years. You're now retired, in your 70's and can't afford to move elsewhere, because rents have gone up a lot in the last 15 years, and you can barely make ends meet on your monthly income as it already is. You spend most of the day at home, for medical reasons, and have a reasonable expectation for peace and quiet in your home.

Suddenly, the apartment above you is rented to a family with a 2 year old and a 4 year old. They jump and play --- like any their age should reasonable do --- throughout the day, and the noise carries loudly to your downstairs suite.

So what's your solution?

(A) Tell the poor retiree that he can move out or will have to put up with this huge disruption throughout his day, that turns his retired life upside down?
(B) Tell the poor family upstairs that they are too loud and should move out. (Telling them to stop their kids 100% from jumping and running  is nonsensical, they are kids)
(C) Landlord has to bite the bullet and have an unrented lower suite until the kids are old enough to stop jumping and running around

If you choose (A), the old guy is either unreasonably going through hell in his twilight years or the problem is likely to repeat if he moves out and somebody else moves in.

If you choose (A) or (B) its "not fair" to somebody, and people will say you are trampling on somebody's rights. If you choose (C) its also "not fair", though we obviously have much less sympathy for the landlord/owner.

I'd really love to hear your solution that properly takes into account both the poor old guy and and the family below.

Settling disputes is hard.

/ BTW, them switching apartments is almost never a viable solution. Different square footage, layo ...



One more thing, if the answer to the above is (A), telling the downstairs old retiree who has been there for 15 years to get bent, do you realize how landlords would capitilize on this for their own gain?

A 15-year tenant is not paying much in rent compared to a brand new tenant, so if a landlord/owner is greedy they will really want the 15-year tenant to move.

If you think (A) is the answer, and the old guy downstairs has zero standing here, you are giving landlords a great way to get longterm tenants to move out: just rent the rental suite above them to a family with kids. Ka-CHING!
 
2022-01-28 3:29:21 PM  

ChibiDebuHage: Koodz: ChibiDebuHage: the complaining tenant will have a right to take the matter to tenancy rights tribunal or court of some kind --- which often rules in favor of the downstairs tenan

On what planet does this happen?

Let me ask you this.

You've been living in a downstairs apartment suite for 15 years. You're now retired, in your 70's and can't afford to move elsewhere, because rents have gone up a lot in the last 15 years, and you can barely make ends meet on your monthly income as it already is. You spend most of the day at home, for medical reasons, and have a reasonable expectation for peace and quiet in your home.

Suddenly, the apartment above you is rented to a family with a 2 year old and a 4 year old. They jump and play --- like any their age should reasonable do --- throughout the day, and the noise carries loudly to your downstairs suite.

So what's your solution?

(A) Tell the poor retiree that he can move out or will have to put up with this huge disruption throughout his day, that turns his retired life upside down?
(B) Tell the poor family upstairs that they are too loud and should move out. (Telling them to stop their kids 100% from jumping and running  is nonsensical, they are kids)
(C) Landlord has to bite the bullet and have an unrented lower suite until the kids are old enough to stop jumping and running around

If you choose (A), the old guy is either unreasonably going through hell in his twilight years or the problem is likely to repeat if he moves out and somebody else moves in.

If you choose (A) or (B) its "not fair" to somebody, and people will say you are trampling on somebody's rights. If you choose (C) its also "not fair", though we obviously have much less sympathy for the landlord/owner.

I'd really love to hear your solution that properly takes into account both the poor old guy and and the family below.

Settling disputes is hard.

/ BTW, them switching apartments is almost never a viable solution. Different square footage, layo ...


Okay, so you live in some old city. My apartment building didn't exist two years ago.

You've given a hypothetical, not an example. You said it happens, not that it should happen. When has it happened?

And my solution is A. 100%. The kids will grow up or the old guy will die or maybe the world will end in the meantime but access to housing is a right and a peaceful retirement isn't, so that's the one I'm going to go with.

https://www.hud.gov/program_offices/fair_housing_equal_opp/discrimination_against_families_children Old guy should be in senior housing if he wants special treatment for his senior status.
 
2022-01-28 3:30:24 PM  
Without clicking, the answer is no. You should be civil, but you don't have to be nice.

If the parent has a problem with that, then point out the behavioral deficiencies.
 
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