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    More: Fail, Associated Press, Endeavor Air captain, CTVglobemedia, devastated pilot, Business terms, college roommate, zealot Chris Sembroski, Greatest hits  
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5405 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Jan 2022 at 5:30 AM (15 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2022-01-28 5:37:41 AM  
Dammit subby. I thought one of the members of Apollo 440 had died.
 
2022-01-28 5:39:49 AM  
Apollo 440 - Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Dub (HQ)
Youtube RkFKbd0LraY
 
2022-01-28 5:42:31 AM  
Well....thats a bummer for him. Though honestly any man who isnt over 6 foot should be keeping their weight at or under 200
 
2022-01-28 5:44:35 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-01-28 5:45:35 AM  
Joy
Youtube X6ipT3d2kFg
 
2022-01-28 5:46:19 AM  
If I weighed 330 lbs, that would be the first thing I checked if I were trying to get on SpaceX

I really have no desire to do it anyway. I figure these ventures will become the new "Everest" for rich assholes.
 
2022-01-28 5:48:57 AM  
That's the name of my kid's Apollo 440 tribute band.
 
2022-01-28 5:54:19 AM  
After winning the galactic jackpot, he read the fine print and realized that at 330 pounds, he couldn't occupy the seat, which was for passengers under 250 pounds only. "I was trying to figure how I could drop 80 pounds in six months, which, I mean, it's possible, but it's not the most healthy thing in the world to do,"

Losing that weight is probably the healthiest thing he could do.  If he put himself on a 1500 cal/day diet, he could easily drop 3 pounds a week.  But no, that would be inconvenient.  He'd rather just suck down another half gallon of ice cream.
 
2022-01-28 5:58:31 AM  
"In space no one can hear you be fat somewhere else"?
 
2022-01-28 5:58:44 AM  

Muta: After winning the galactic jackpot, he read the fine print and realized that at 330 pounds, he couldn't occupy the seat, which was for passengers under 250 pounds only. "I was trying to figure how I could drop 80 pounds in six months, which, I mean, it's possible, but it's not the most healthy thing in the world to do,"

Losing that weight is probably the healthiest thing he could do.  If he put himself on a 1500 cal/day diet, he could easily drop 3 pounds a week.  But no, that would be inconvenient.  He'd rather just suck down another half gallon of ice cream.


healthy weight loss is a pound a week. This allows the body to slowly adjust to the changes and reduces the chances of gaining it all back and then some. To drop 80 pounds in 24 weeks would be roughly 3.5 pounds a week

Thats not healthy, and its bad for your head because if you do manage to pull it off you still have all the loose skin flopping all over the place, which makes you feel like it was all wasted effort. Slow weight loss avoids that huge issue
 
2022-01-28 6:05:06 AM  

lifeslammer: Muta: After winning the galactic jackpot, he read the fine print and realized that at 330 pounds, he couldn't occupy the seat, which was for passengers under 250 pounds only. "I was trying to figure how I could drop 80 pounds in six months, which, I mean, it's possible, but it's not the most healthy thing in the world to do,"

Losing that weight is probably the healthiest thing he could do.  If he put himself on a 1500 cal/day diet, he could easily drop 3 pounds a week.  But no, that would be inconvenient.  He'd rather just suck down another half gallon of ice cream.

healthy weight loss is a pound a week. This allows the body to slowly adjust to the changes and reduces the chances of gaining it all back and then some. To drop 80 pounds in 24 weeks would be roughly 3.5 pounds a week

Thats not healthy, and its bad for your head because if you do manage to pull it off you still have all the loose skin flopping all over the place, which makes you feel like it was all wasted effort. Slow weight loss avoids that huge issue


You're right, Fatty McFatface should just wallow in his pool of blubber.
 
2022-01-28 6:08:58 AM  

lifeslammer: Well....thats a bummer for him. Though honestly any man who isnt over 6 foot should be keeping their weight at or under 200


That's not even remotely true.

In 2003, if you came in overweight, the military would measure your waist and your neck and get a quotient from that to measure your BMI. I was in good shape at 6'2 and 220, for the way my frame is. Navy rejected me.

Then there was a blubberfark with a giant belly, but also a double giant chin that altered the quotient in his favor, he got to ship out.

Looking back, it's probably one of the better things that happened to me.
 
2022-01-28 6:34:12 AM  
So there has been less than one thousand people who've ever been to space.  Pretty elite club.

Yes I understand that you can be happy at any weight.  With that in mind if I got a ticket for a trip into space and needed to drop 80lbs in 6 months I'd do my absolute best to make that happen.

Off the top of my head I don't think there are many bigger motivators out there for me than taking a rocket into god damn space.
 
2022-01-28 6:34:54 AM  

JK8Fan: If I weighed 330 lbs, that would be the first thing I checked if I were trying to get on SpaceX

I really have no desire to do it anyway. I figure these ventures will become the new "Everest" for rich assholes.


I got an incentive ride in the back of an F-15D Eagle fighter jet.

Part of my flight physical was getting weighed and measured for the ejection seat.

I'm taller than average, but not unusually so.  I almost couldn't go because I have a weird body shape where the ejection seat would have ripped my feet off if I was an inch or two taller.
 
2022-01-28 6:45:12 AM  

omg bbq: So there has been less than one thousand people who've ever been to space.  Pretty elite club.

Yes I understand that you can be happy at any weight.  With that in mind if I got a ticket for a trip into space and needed to drop 80lbs in 6 months I'd do my absolute best to make that happen.

Off the top of my head I don't think there are many bigger motivators out there for me than taking a rocket into god damn space.


Exactly what I came to say. I would stop at nothing to lose the weight. If he's so into the idea he spent that much on tickets but isn't willing to tryto lose the weight...? Well then he's never going to care enough about his health to try.
 
2022-01-28 6:47:26 AM  

Slaxl: omg bbq: So there has been less than one thousand people who've ever been to space.  Pretty elite club.

Yes I understand that you can be happy at any weight.  With that in mind if I got a ticket for a trip into space and needed to drop 80lbs in 6 months I'd do my absolute best to make that happen.

Off the top of my head I don't think there are many bigger motivators out there for me than taking a rocket into god damn space.

Exactly what I came to say. I would stop at nothing to lose the weight. If he's so into the idea he spent that much on tickets but isn't willing to tryto lose the weight...? Well then he's never going to care enough about his health to try.


Such a lost opportunity.
 
2022-01-28 6:51:10 AM  
Just need more thrust on the rocket.
i.pinimg.comView Full Size


/ what if the other passengers are extra skinny? Could he go then?  Or would that tip the rocket to one side by being off balance?
 
2022-01-28 6:58:38 AM  

The Brains: lifeslammer: Well....thats a bummer for him. Though honestly any man who isnt over 6 foot should be keeping their weight at or under 200

That's not even remotely true.

In 2003, if you came in overweight, the military would measure your waist and your neck and get a quotient from that to measure your BMI. I was in good shape at 6'2 and 220, for the way my frame is. Navy rejected me.

Then there was a blubberfark with a giant belly, but also a double giant chin that altered the quotient in his favor, he got to ship out.

Looking back, it's probably one of the better things that happened to me.


Ummmm, buddy, the tape test is a pencil whip by another name. You wouldn't consider passing the ASVAB with a waiver to be proof of intelligence, would you? Actually, don't answer that. Christ.
 
2022-01-28 7:01:40 AM  
Kyle Hippchen, 43, a lifelong space enthusiast, bought $600 worth of tickets for a seat raffled off by Shift4 Payments founder and CEO Jared Isaacman. After winning the galactic jackpot, he read the fine print and realized that at 330 pounds, he couldn't occupy the seat

Now I'm no rocket scientist, but I'd think that if he pitched in a little extra in gas money to escape the Earth's gravity, once they get up there it wouldn't matter if he was 700lbs.
 
2022-01-28 7:09:20 AM  
external-preview.redd.itView Full Size
 
2022-01-28 7:13:14 AM  
He should have bought raffle tickets for SpaceXL.
 
2022-01-28 7:47:43 AM  
Hold up. Am I reading this right? Where's the lawsuit???
 
2022-01-28 7:48:01 AM  

The Brains: lifeslammer: Well....thats a bummer for him. Though honestly any man who isnt over 6 foot should be keeping their weight at or under 200

That's not even remotely true.

In 2003, if you came in overweight, the military would measure your waist and your neck and get a quotient from that to measure your BMI. I was in good shape at 6'2 and 220, for the way my frame is. Navy rejected me.

Then there was a blubberfark with a giant belly, but also a double giant chin that altered the quotient in his favor, he got to ship out.

Looking back, it's probably one of the better things that happened to me.


Had the same issue in the USAF. Me, at 6'1" and 200 lbs but not a thick neck had to lose weight. Sergeant Weeble at like 5'6" and 250 lbs passed easily. They were supposed to measure under the rolls of flab on the roly-polys but each and every one would cry "it's choking me" and they'd just measure around the extra chins.
 
2022-01-28 7:51:51 AM  
How ironic... If he could have gone up he would have briefly been weightless.
 
2022-01-28 8:03:01 AM  

lifeslammer: Well....thats a bummer for him. Though honestly any man who isnt over 6 foot should be keeping their weight at or under 200


Fat shaming is no way to go through live, son.

/endomorph says fark you other types
 
2022-01-28 8:05:26 AM  

The Brains: lifeslammer: Well....thats a bummer for him. Though honestly any man who isnt over 6 foot should be keeping their weight at or under 200

That's not even remotely true.

In 2003, if you came in overweight, the military would measure your waist and your neck and get a quotient from that to measure your BMI. I was in good shape at 6'2 and 220, for the way my frame is. Navy rejected me.

Then there was a blubberfark with a giant belly, but also a double giant chin that altered the quotient in his favor, he got to ship out.

Looking back, it's probably one of the better things that happened to me.


My last physical in 1995, I taped a 24%.  Yep. Imma fatass but the clown with the tape said that was too close to 25% and I had to drop 5 pounds - which I did in a couple of weeks, came back and taped a 22%.  I should mention this was for the Inactive Ready Reserve.   My reserve unit had deactivated and there wasn't a slot for a 46q20 within 200 miles.  During Desert Storm, I ate and drove trucks.  My bad.

Also getting taped that day was a tall and large wheeled vehicle mechanic from the active Army reserves.  He was taped at 35% and the guy was laughing that his tape was barely long enough to go around his dunlap.  But since he was a critical MOS they passed him.
 
2022-01-28 8:06:28 AM  

Muta: After winning the galactic jackpot, he read the fine print and realized that at 330 pounds, he couldn't occupy the seat, which was for passengers under 250 pounds only. "I was trying to figure how I could drop 80 pounds in six months, which, I mean, it's possible, but it's not the most healthy thing in the world to do,"

Losing that weight is probably the healthiest thing he could do.  If he put himself on a 1500 cal/day diet, he could easily drop 3 pounds a week.  But no, that would be inconvenient.  He'd rather just suck down another half gallon of ice cream.


Yep. Actors do shiat like that all the time. Of course, most have expensive trainers and so on to monitor and make sure they don't die in mid-squat, but they lose 10-50 lbs in a short time for roles all the time. So yeah, he could have done it, but I am with you that he just could not put down that fried butter.

/I am overweight
//if that opportunity came my way, I would be svelte by launch time
///then probably stuff my face once I got back, but hey...
 
2022-01-28 8:09:44 AM  
Go be fat somewhere else...just not in space
 
2022-01-28 8:10:27 AM  
I hope it at least inspired him to try and lose some of it healthily.
 
2022-01-28 8:10:52 AM  

Boojum2k: The Brains: lifeslammer: Well....thats a bummer for him. Though honestly any man who isnt over 6 foot should be keeping their weight at or under 200

That's not even remotely true.

In 2003, if you came in overweight, the military would measure your waist and your neck and get a quotient from that to measure your BMI. I was in good shape at 6'2 and 220, for the way my frame is. Navy rejected me.

Then there was a blubberfark with a giant belly, but also a double giant chin that altered the quotient in his favor, he got to ship out.

Looking back, it's probably one of the better things that happened to me.

Had the same issue in the USAF. Me, at 6'1" and 200 lbs but not a thick neck had to lose weight. Sergeant Weeble at like 5'6" and 250 lbs passed easily. They were supposed to measure under the rolls of flab on the roly-polys but each and every one would cry "it's choking me" and they'd just measure around the extra chins.


"It's chocking me!"  I wish I knew that one back then.  The neck scrunchers  to make their necks thicker and we even had a guy wear old timey spanx under his t-shirt.

If the PSNCO liked you, he'd go easy on the neck and firm on the gut.  And if you scored a 27, he'd 'accidentally' put down a 24.
 
2022-01-28 8:12:52 AM  
Isn't about time we have our first morbidly obese astronaut? Dusty Marlow this is when you get to shine and not just from the constant stream of rancid oils exuding from your epithelium. Paradise PD is proud of you
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-01-28 8:14:19 AM  

Feel_the_velvet: Now I'm no rocket scientist, but I'd think that if he pitched in a little extra in gas money to escape the Earth's gravity, once they get up there it wouldn't matter if he was 700lbs.


Every X increase in payload to orbit requires Y increased fuel burn to get to orbit.  Every Y increase in fuel required becomes an extra X increase in payload that has to be lifted part way to orbit (burns along the way).  The end result is that adding one pound of fuel requires adding ~7lbs of fuel to lift it.  Adding 130lbs of payload would require adding significant extra fuel to lift it, which would require adding SEVEN significant amounts of extra fuel to lift THAT fuel.

Plus, if they accelerate at 4G, he'd weigh 1,320lbs, which may exceed the structural specifications of the chair.
 
2022-01-28 8:18:16 AM  

ChrisDe: He should have bought raffle tickets for SpaceXL.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-01-28 8:24:30 AM  

grokca: I hope it at least inspired him to try and lose some of it healthily.


It crushed a life long dream, he will gain weight
 
2022-01-28 8:26:34 AM  
MythDragon:

/ what if the other passengers are extra skinny? Could he go then?  Or would that tip the rocket to one side by being off balance?

No, it's not his weight - it's his mass.
Dude might attract other celestial entities

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-01-28 8:27:44 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-01-28 8:28:21 AM  
Wasn't as much a life long dream if he was 330 pounds.  You work tword your dreams, think he ever took 1 step to going into space?   Nope.  If he had and was even in poor shape but under 250lbs he would have achieved a dream.
What he had was a daydream, something you would love to happen but your not lifting a finger to do it.
People who achieve their dreams actively go after them
 
2022-01-28 8:30:50 AM  
One thing pilots do before every flight is move all the flight controls through their entire range of motion to make sure there are no problems. During my airline career, I flew with three different captains where it was not possible to pull the yoke aft anywhere near the full travel because the obese stomachs, so we could not actually check the controls as required. More importantly, should you need to exercise that full control in flight, it wouldn't be available. That's is a serious safety issue.

Dude needs to drop the weight for his health, our flying safety, and because you could fark yourself out of flying to outer goddamn space.
 
2022-01-28 8:32:29 AM  

lifeslammer: Well....thats a bummer for him. Though honestly any man who isnt over 6 foot should be keeping their weight at or under 200


Wrong, results may vary.  I'm 6'2" and my best weight is 225 +/- 5 lbs.  Check my profile pic for proof.  I had a bad reaction to a chemo drug and dropped from 248 to 188 in 26 days.  According to height / charts, that should be perfect but I looked like a long-term prison camp resident.  Very unhealthy, but I did have a lot of fun putting the weight back on though.  220 this morning, time for some hammer curls.
 
2022-01-28 8:37:13 AM  

LoneVVolf: which may exceed the structural specifications of the chair


SpaceX can't design a stronger chair?
 
2022-01-28 9:04:23 AM  

bighairyguy: lifeslammer: Well....thats a bummer for him. Though honestly any man who isnt over 6 foot should be keeping their weight at or under 200

Wrong, results may vary.  I'm 6'2" and my best weight is 225 +/- 5 lbs.  Check my profile pic for proof.  I had a bad reaction to a chemo drug and dropped from 248 to 188 in 26 days.  According to height / charts, that should be perfect but I looked like a long-term prison camp resident.  Very unhealthy, but I did have a lot of fun putting the weight back on though.  220 this morning, time for some hammer curls.



I too am big boned and the world unfairly judges me.
 
2022-01-28 9:07:17 AM  
To all those comments on the tape test....yes, its utterly ridiculous. In my unit, half the personnel needed to be taped, drom the fatties to the buff Calvin-Klein models. Army height/weight charts are from the time when malnutrition was so bad, it was considered a national security issue and the Pentagon demanded school lunch programs. Howverer, if you did bust tape and were absolutely NOT chunky (and whatever noncom doing the job didn't just fix it on the spot) you could still request an actual BMI test if it came down to it.

Commanders could still put soldiers on 'improvement' programs if you were over what it said on the table. Never actually heard of that happening in an infantry unit though...usually it was 'handled' at the team/squad level.

/ I was not a Calvin-Klein model
// Never busted tape
/// best 2-mile was 13:06
 
2022-01-28 9:15:51 AM  

onlyadistraction: [Fark user image 425x318]



Too fat?
Was Captain B. McCrea unavailable for comment?

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-01-28 9:22:50 AM  
Too fat to go to space despite his ability to pay. That's the most American thing I've read all month.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-01-28 9:30:50 AM  
C'mon, man. If Barney can pull it off, you can do it!
vignette.wikia.nocookie.netView Full Size


Just avoid that celebratory toast...
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-01-28 10:42:01 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

I think everyone is missing a critical point: He may have had six months until the launch, but zero months to fit into a space suit? It's not like he was going to walk into Macy's and grab a custom made suit off of the rack.
 
2022-01-28 10:43:24 AM  

mrmopar5287: LoneVVolf: which may exceed the structural specifications of the chair

SpaceX can't design a stronger chair?


It's called the rear bulkhead.
 
2022-01-28 10:52:17 AM  
The Navy requires you to fit through the scuttles in the deck hatches.  You don't want to be behind some deck ape that got wedged in the scuttle when that space is flooding.

Had a few CPOs on my ship get the word to drop weight or be discharged.  Fortunately, I was on an oiler, and our covered cargo deck was 1/10th of a mile per loop.  Guys could jog the weight off, and we had the space for a weight machine, plus free weights.  Some got t-shirts for "running" across the Atlantic (you did so many miles per day during the transit).
 
2022-01-28 11:56:02 AM  

omg bbq: So there has been less than one thousand people who've ever been to space.  Pretty elite club.

Yes I understand that you can be happy at any weight.  With that in mind if I got a ticket for a trip into space and needed to drop 80lbs in 6 months I'd do my absolute best to make that happen.

Off the top of my head I don't think there are many bigger motivators out there for me than taking a rocket into god damn space.


I dropped 50 in 6 months without and it didn't destroy me. Honestly, it was one of the best things I ever. Learned not to eat all the time, what to eat, how to exercise and how to get some goddamn sleep. Unreal how much better I looked and felt.

It's doable. Even if this guy can't do it in time for the space ride, he could still do it.
 
2022-01-28 12:05:38 PM  

lifeslammer: Well....thats a bummer for him. Though honestly any man who isnt over 6 foot should be keeping their weight at or under 200


mrmopar5287: LoneVVolf: which may exceed the structural specifications of the chair

SpaceX can't design a stronger chair?


Space X needs passenger weight assumptions because going over there throws all kinds of shiat off in a cascade of interconnected annoyance.  That extra 100lbs and that extra however much the reinforced chair weighs compared to the original have to come out of somewhere else.  Which in turn causes problems somewhere else.  Which in turn causes...

/anything you need to get out of a gravity well needs to keep track of and limit weight like it's life or death
//'cause it damn near can be
///"One little change" like a heavier chair/passenger can easily cascade into "Time to redesign the whole farking mission loadout now." bullshiat
 
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