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(Fark)   "You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club." -Jack London. This is your Fark Writer's Thread, clubbed senseless edition   (fark.com) divider line
    More: CSB, Cascading Style Sheets, Hugh Hefner, Alan Moore, Get Ready for This, general rule of thumb, best last year, red flags of a scam, Discussion  
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331 clicks; posted to Main » and Discussion » on 26 Jan 2022 at 4:55 PM (16 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



23 Comments     (+0 »)
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2022-01-26 3:50:46 PM  
Earlier this week, Fark linked to a new writing contest with a . . . suggestive name, at least to us Farkers with filthy minds. This one didn't raise all the red flags of a scam, probably because it's most likely just a subscription drive using a contest as a fig leaf, but there's an awful lot of 'contests' or 'anthologies' out there that'll happily take your entry fee and disappear with it.  As a general rule of thumb, if some place is charging more than twenty bucks to read your submissions, it's probably a scam (and this site agrees)

In other news, in a poorly timed segue, this year's Fark Fiction Anthology is in pre-preproduction! That's right, we're getting ready to actually get ready and get this thing about to be about to start. Right now I'd like to get some ideas on what people thought worked best last year, what could have been done better, and what we should do differently this year. Also, title suggestions are always welcome!
 
2022-01-26 5:00:13 PM  
No club, I work alone.
 
2022-01-26 5:05:42 PM  
The contest is kind of interesting, but I tend to shy away from reader fees.

Anyway, between work and other stuff I haven't had much time to put a concept together.
 
2022-01-26 5:09:36 PM  
just recently finished the latest FARK  anthology.
nice job yet again.
 
2022-01-26 5:10:52 PM  
Dealing with elder care issues, probably won't get anything submitted to anything...best of luck to those who do.
 
2022-01-26 5:16:50 PM  
"To Build a FIre" is the best short story ever.
 
2022-01-26 5:19:14 PM  
I generally don't enter contests because most require entry fees. Those things can add up after awhile. There isn't anything necessarily wrong with entry fees, but they're not my thing. I do believe money is supposed to flow from the publisher to the author, not the other way around.

I'm looking forward to the next Fark anthology. I will likely have something for it. I'm looking forward to submitting.
 
2022-01-26 5:28:02 PM  
And you beat it until it's little more than an unrecognizable heap, red with blood, its breathing ragged with effort, its eyes closed as if to announce its weariness. You lean over to make sure it's stopped breathing and that is when it attacks, leaping up and snarling as it grabs you by the throat, its fangs sinking into your flesh and the pain is such a shock that at first you cannot react, you are almost paralyzed by it, then some ancient reserve of savagery, one you did not realize you possessed, makes your arm rise up and smash across inspiration's broken face, again and again, with no mercy until its jaw unclenches enough for you to free yourself. This time, you don't bend to watch it die, you stand above it and stare down at it, watching its last breathing sigh, then nothing. It is motionless. You have conquered it and the thrill is such that it will be several more minutes until the pain of your wound demands attention. With shaking hands, you find a cloth and press it into the injury, grimacing with satisfaction. Then you walk into the living room and begin to binge watch "Succession" after ordering some Thai food to be delivered.
 
2022-01-26 5:41:40 PM  
Jack London is my spirit animal.

A couple  years ago I moved to a small mining town, with cold winters, simply because that's the kind of place that Jack London would've moved to. It improved my writing tremendously.

I highly recommend his Iron Heel if you like dystopia sci fi that's eerily similar to contemporary events.
 
2022-01-26 5:50:08 PM  
Have had a new story on the tip of my tongue for awhile and it just ain't fully forming yet. I've been too busy with work and life. I'll have to see if I can finish it for this years anthology.
 
2022-01-26 6:16:08 PM  

toraque: Earlier this week, Fark linked to a new writing contest with a . . . suggestive name, at least to us Farkers with filthy minds. This one didn't raise all the red flags of a scam, probably because it's most likely just a subscription drive using a contest as a fig leaf, but there's an awful lot of 'contests' or 'anthologies' out there that'll happily take your entry fee and disappear with it.  As a general rule of thumb, if some place is charging more than twenty bucks to read your submissions, it's probably a scam (and this site agrees)


Not to at all disagree with the fact that there are lots and lots of literary scams out there, but far more of them have to do with vanity presses bilking novice writers for ridiculous, overpriced, and overvalued services than with fake contests. Yes, there are scam contests, absolutely, but the best way to spot them is to look at the reputation of the publication running them. If you've never heard of it, or if they have no real track record, or if they're not even telling you who's judging the contest, those are the red flags to look for.

In the case of the writing contest that got linked to Fark, the publication in question is the Missouri Review, one of the older and by far more respected literary journals in the country. It's a legitimate contest. The "OMG contest fees are unfair and just a money grab" arguments are as old as literary contests themselves, and there are lots of people who never submit to contests on principle, and that's fine. But that's about not liking fees, not avoiding scams.
 
2022-01-26 6:37:42 PM  
Pocket Ninja:

Not to at all disagree with the fact that there are lots and lots of literary scams out there, but far more of them have to do with vanity presses bilking novice writers for ridiculous, overpriced, and overvalued services than with fake contests.

I recently read a "memoir" by someone I knew a very long time ago and...it was embarrassing. This person does not know what a memoir is and lacks very fundamental writing skills. A self-indulgent mess. Not even a single good joke. It was painful to read. I googled the listed publisher and...there were zero results.

Vanity press. Pretty sure the payment went from this person to the publisher, not the other way around.

I once idolized this person as the soul of wit and charm and glittering, sparkling brilliance. I wonder now if this was the very last of my youthful delusions to crumble into dust. It hardly seems like there can be any left. But I am a colossal dumbass, so I don't rule it out.

To be fair to myself, which is a skill I am still developing, I never knew anyone like Pocket Ninja when I was young, and can scarcely conceive of how different things might have been if I had. The constant shower of sparks might have caught at my own kindling.

This is not snark.
 
2022-01-26 6:54:50 PM  
Some people claim to have a muse, which helps them create/write/act/whatever. One of my (sadly now deceased) internet friends used to say his muse was Calliope- the muse of epic poetry. The joke, of course, was he freely admitted his poetry was doggerel at best.

If the subject of muses arises (and why would it not?), I tell people my muse is Cacophony. She's a cruel biatch, causing story ideas and dialogue to spontaneously manifest in my brain- almost always at the most inopportune times. Most of the time this is a welcome diversion from the drudgery of everyday life (such as meetings), but Cacophony's curse upon me causes physical pain if I don;t do something to write the idea/vignette/dialogue down. This often lasts for several hours before gradually fading away- never to be remembered.

I mention this, because Cacophony is doing it again- with a cruel extra twist. Not only has she "gifted" me with a story idea, but the rough outline I've made in my head will be far too long for the anthology, and the start of the story (setting up why this particular spaceship stopped near a totally unremarkable red dwarf star and discovered the main plot Maguffin) would itself be a pretty good science fiction short story in its own right. I hate it when she does that.

All this happened, of course, after I had to replace my desktop, and the new system does not have anything better than NotePad for writing until I manage to pick up a copy of Word or some equivalent program. Grrrrr.


My wife's suggested title for the next anthology: Read This and Weep.
 
2022-01-26 7:29:45 PM  

Pocket Ninja: The "OMG contest fees are unfair and just a money grab" arguments are as old as literary contests themselves, and there are lots of people who never submit to contests on principle, and that's fine. But that's about not liking fees, not avoiding scams.


Every. Damn. Week. It seems like we have this debate in the screenwriting world.  You have the absolutists on all sides ('Enter everything!' Enter nothing!'' Enter Sandman!') and those of us in the middle who pick a few reputable ones and maybe something smaller if the niche/price is right.

Sometimes people take on the Enter Nothing! folks for a debate but they'll read Art of War (or War of Art) eventually.  'If your enemy is making a mistake....'

/if someone's really good, why argue them into competing against you?
 
2022-01-26 8:28:05 PM  

Wenchmaster: Some people claim to have a muse, which helps them create/write/act/whatever. One of my (sadly now deceased) internet friends used to say his muse was Calliope- the muse of epic poetry. The joke, of course, was he freely admitted his poetry was doggerel at best.

If the subject of muses arises (and why would it not?), I tell people my muse is Cacophony. She's a cruel biatch, causing story ideas and dialogue to spontaneously manifest in my brain- almost always at the most inopportune times. Most of the time this is a welcome diversion from the drudgery of everyday life (such as meetings), but Cacophony's curse upon me causes physical pain if I don;t do something to write the idea/vignette/dialogue down. This often lasts for several hours before gradually fading away- never to be remembered.

I mention this, because Cacophony is doing it again- with a cruel extra twist. Not only has she "gifted" me with a story idea, but the rough outline I've made in my head will be far too long for the anthology, and the start of the story (setting up why this particular spaceship stopped near a totally unremarkable red dwarf star and discovered the main plot Maguffin) would itself be a pretty good science fiction short story in its own right. I hate it when she does that.

All this happened, of course, after I had to replace my desktop, and the new system does not have anything better than NotePad for writing until I manage to pick up a copy of Word or some equivalent program. Grrrrr.


My wife's suggested title for the next anthology: Read This and Weep.

Libre office is good and cheap. I hate microsoft words ate a book once.

 
2022-01-26 9:12:59 PM  
Does a spirit guide count as a muse. It's been a while but Scheherazade was a big help. I wrote my self into hell and back, she was my guide. I probably got it wrong but I have written Semi autonomous. It's not really me, or at least all me.

It's all subjective but we met the devil. Alot of it came from Dante, I even almost picked Virgil. But for the same book I had a pretty good conversation with a cow. I didn't even know I spoke cow. I think sometimes it's emphathy, try to think as how or what a cow would want to talk about.

The devil was easy, and he's kind of a nice guy. You know he thinks he did us a favor. And wants to remind people it's not him sending anyone to hell. We also visited the gates of heaven. No spoilers, but John 3:16 was not what I saw or heard. Believe I went there to ask questions, the hard questions, I mean interview Jesus, if he was  there.

Poor Jesus, thank god I never got to meet him. I seen some angels. Not the horn blowing midgets. They were more like judges. In fact except for the music it was like going to traffic court. Except they are judging lives , one case at a time. So like traffic court at the drivers license office. Up there or whatever you now have the time.

I wrote it with the premis it was Judeo Christian. Personally I'm hoping for for reincarnation. Try to get it right next time.

I wrote about a lot of things I started knowing nothing about. I'm half way through it when I found out the earth doesn't rotates around the sun. There went a chapter or two based on an assumption. The book or my guide taught me that the more you know, the more there is to know.
 
2022-01-26 9:21:53 PM  
I use a heavy hand expressing myself completely, with my fingers spread roughly the circumference of a ceramic handicapped toilet seat, and smash it across your senses. Like a fire provider spooning a family sized jar of super chunky peanut butter over his genitalia and up his ass to feed his sledding team whilst he masturbates to an 8x7 of  Princess Di.

That's how you Jack London bruh.
 
2022-01-26 10:17:29 PM  
I read call of the wild when I was 7. My dad brought home a copy he found in the trash and gave it to me. Then he passed out in the bathtub and hit his head. Mom said good and we went to bed. He was walking around the next day so he didn't die. Great book.
 
2022-01-26 10:37:27 PM  
I never think of cold , like in To build a fire. But I got hooked on call of the wild. Later on I read tales of the south seas? A piece of steak is one of the short stories.

The guy lived large. Supposedly he never got the big time recognition as one of America's greatest was he was a socialist.  I'd say Mark Twain then Jack London then Hemmingway
 
2022-01-26 11:00:44 PM  
Suggestions for anthology title:

Hanging by a Thread

The Inch of Reason

A Fark in the Pan
 
2022-01-26 11:27:02 PM  
Then... the murders began.
 
2022-01-27 10:35:03 AM  
In the world of sort stories one of my favorites is Sake, and particularly "The Man Who Raised Snapping Turtles."
 
2022-01-27 4:39:04 PM  

Wenchmaster: Some people claim to have a muse, which helps them create/write/act/whatever.


My muse is apparently tired of being paid in "exposure".
 
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