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(Marketwatch)   "My sister mooched off my father while pretending to be his caregiver. Then he died a painful death"   (marketwatch.com) divider line
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448 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 26 Jan 2022 at 12:50 PM (22 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



10 Comments     (+0 »)
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2022-01-26 11:26:16 AM  
Life is unfair.
 
2022-01-26 12:09:00 PM  
Holy cow, "made him sleep in a hospital bed." Like those things just fall from the sky or something. I bet "Betrayed Sister" intentionally didn't have any idea what was going on, so who knows if she's reporting anything else correctly.
 
2022-01-26 1:06:22 PM  
This just screams of someone trying to take out not being there on the person who did everything.  The sister "spent all the money on herself" but the father was sleeping at his house and she was involved enough to be expected to monitor his fluid intake.  That reads to me like she was trying to cover her expenses while she put her life on hold taking care of dad.  Doubly so since the spurned sister doesn't provide any examples of frivolous spending to back up her claim.

The taking/selling/giving stuff away is douchey, but It's probably a byproduct of only one sister being there.  If you see the end coming you start to organize ahead of time and if dad was 92, struggling with fluid intake, and sleeping in a hospital bed I'm willing to bet they saw his death coming.  They might have even thought they were being considerate by not saddling her with a bunch of stuff (I wish I could convince my inlaws of this).  I'd like to see the details on "she kept the money herself" before I believe it.  It may have been sold before dad's death to cover expenses, she may have sold stuff cheap to close friends.
 
2022-01-26 2:28:24 PM  
Dear MoneyWatch Prudie,

My sister made herself scarce as our elderly father died slowly and painfully over a few years, leaving me to care for him as best I could in that time. The medical costs were insane, to the point where we had to sell off a lot of old keepsakes, like our mother's jewelry collection, and even then I could barely get enough together to buy my father the hospital bed that he needed. She rarely (if ever) showed up, and never took part in any of the care. After he passed, I wasn't sure I'd ever hear from her again, but lo and behold, she came out of the woodwork demanding half the estate. As much as she didn't do anything to earn it, I would honor my father's last wishes - but there's nothing left to divide. She's now blaming me for our father's death, accusing me of stealing from him in his dying days, which doesn't make any sense (all that was left were a few old canning jars and old bottles - I gave those to her thinking it might shut her up).  Now she's got it in her head that I'm somehow waiting for her to die so I can collect her estate - I never asked for this, and I don't want it. How can I get her to just go back to ignoring the family instead of constantly bothering me with her delusions?
 
2022-01-26 3:00:35 PM  
Is this about money?  i believe it.
The root of all evil.
 
2022-01-26 7:31:18 PM  
From 400 miles away I totally know how my sister should have cared for our bedridden father who I never visited.

Now that he kicked the bucket I'm sure that she killed him with her negligence....and please don't bring up my years of absence because that has nothing to do with anything.

Anyway, I want to cash in, how do?
 
2022-01-26 8:42:14 PM  

mike_d85: This just screams of someone trying to take out not being there on the person who did everything.  The sister "spent all the money on herself" but the father was sleeping at his house and she was involved enough to be expected to monitor his fluid intake.  That reads to me like she was trying to cover her expenses while she put her life on hold taking care of dad.  Doubly so since the spurned sister doesn't provide any examples of frivolous spending to back up her claim.

The taking/selling/giving stuff away is douchey, but It's probably a byproduct of only one sister being there.  If you see the end coming you start to organize ahead of time and if dad was 92, struggling with fluid intake, and sleeping in a hospital bed I'm willing to bet they saw his death coming.  They might have even thought they were being considerate by not saddling her with a bunch of stuff (I wish I could convince my inlaws of this).  I'd like to see the details on "she kept the money herself" before I believe it.  It may have been sold before dad's death to cover expenses, she may have sold stuff cheap to close friends.


Also, lots of folks start believing their parents knickknacks have been breeding gold coins over the years and all that junk that was heaved out the door was secretly some vast fortune swindled.
 
2022-01-26 10:12:46 PM  
We can't be talking about that much money if "zomg a queen sized bed" is even part of the discussion. Hospital beds probably cost more anyway. And old people may need the adjustability.

I call shenanigans on the entire article.

Also, if my brother wants to be caregiver to my parents as they die, he can have my entire share of the inheritance. That's tough work.
 
2022-01-27 6:41:22 AM  
26 yrs ago a man driving by smiled at me and stopped his car. We talked. I took him to a Chinese diner that night. We have been together nearly ever night since. He moved in 8 days later. We have worked towards common goals and dreams. We have beome wealthy together. His Family has grown while mine died out, and they have brought me deeper into theirs.  The children and grandchildren hardly remember time before me now. I have cancers an Hubby nurses me daily, making sure my many meds are in my pill cup at the right time. He bought a $4k mechanical bed so we can both sleep together comfortably. He cooks and serves nearly every meal, cleans the house, tends the garden and orchard for my FFVs (fresh fruits & veggies). He walks the dog now that I no longer can. I could not find a better care-giver. He still smiles when he sees me despite the fact I am hunched, use a rolling walker, am toothless, and have actually shrunk 6.5 inches from my former 6'1". He loves me and I love him. I will be cremated and placed in his casket with the ashes from our 8 pets. I tell him I love him 5x/day and have since the 3rd day after we met. I am so lucky in so many ways despite multiple myeloma, which is incurable. I had to have my bladder removed; he changes my urostomy bad 2x/wk to "make sure it's right!" He hooks me up to a pee bag for the long trip to chemo every week, and for the trip back. He does so many things for me I can't name them all. He keeps me inside during the pandemic; dungeon sex slaves get to go walkabout more often, I joke. He keeps me safe and my weekly chemo is my only chance outside. I go out for med appts and that's about it. He does everything else, except when his Family is doing it to help out. We have what we need plus more. In everything. How many can say that, even in sickness, they have enough plus, including love? I am so lucky. A total stranger smiled at me one day 26 yrs ago and I dared to talk to him and ask him to dinner. And he accepted!
 
2022-01-27 9:21:31 AM  
Being a caregiver is hard work. But being absent is being a coont.
 
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