Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(9News (Australia))   You know when you were a toddler they told you to check for monsters under your bed before you go to sleep? Well this being Australia, you need to check for 6-foot-long slithering lengths of NOPE   (9news.com.au) divider line
    More: Scary, Snake, Pythonidae, Snakes Australia, Australia, Aaron Yashin, Queensland snake catcher, Mr Yashin, Viperidae  
•       •       •

1755 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Jan 2022 at 9:50 AM (16 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



39 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-01-26 8:28:52 AM  
So the next generation of HP going to be set in Australia.
 
2022-01-26 8:57:21 AM  
Now that they found the beast under his bed, they need to check his closet, and his head.

Metallica: Enter Sandman (Official Music Video)
Youtube CD-E-LDc384
 
2022-01-26 9:53:59 AM  
"Obvious tag" on vacation?
I mean, it's a snake. It'll go there. Where ever there is.
It's Austria, it'll kill you stone dead, and then romance your sheila.
 
2022-01-26 9:54:09 AM  
No wonder the Brits used to send their prisoners there. The local flora/fauna would kill off all the criminals before they died of old age.
 
2022-01-26 9:55:16 AM  
"They're normally pretty docile but in this case it was agitated and I did get bitten. It's normally out of a fear reaction, a defence mechanism rather than aggression.

You fool, it was trying to warn you about the giant koala spider hiding in the closet!
 
2022-01-26 9:57:21 AM  
Nope rope
 
2022-01-26 9:57:49 AM  
Never once as a kid did I look for monsters under my bed, They were always in the closet.
 
2022-01-26 10:03:10 AM  

steklo: Never once as a kid did I look for monsters under my bed, They were always in the closet.


That was your dad.
 
2022-01-26 10:03:26 AM  
I would rather find a constrictor 10 times it of 10 than a brown or other highly venomous snake. An average adult male can bite the tail off, or cut the head off of a python with minimal effort. You get tagged by a brown, tiger, or taipan.......you're gonna have a bad day, mmmmkay?
 
2022-01-26 10:05:43 AM  
Saturday morning cartoons taught me that monsters under my bed just wanted to eat my socks...

i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2022-01-26 10:09:01 AM  
gettingdialogic.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
 
2022-01-26 10:09:36 AM  
I went to Australia in 2001 and spent a couple of days with the astronomy club at their campground 3 hours out of Sydney. They had shacks with cots for us to sleep, but warned us to check our shoes for nopes before putting them on in the morning.

You quickly adopt their safety habits when you know there are poisonous nopes in the area.
 
2022-01-26 10:10:33 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-01-26 10:10:52 AM  

big pig peaches: That was your dad.


Nope. Dad always worked late hours he was never home at night.

As a kid, I really wasn't afraid of "monsters"

However at the age of 12 or whatever, I saw the Exorcist movie and that scared the crap out of me for quite a while
 
2022-01-26 10:13:44 AM  
I kinda question the "expert" they brought in to remove it....  He said the snake wasn't "poisonous" (rather than "venomous") and the snake bit him when he removed it.   He also added he has been bitten several times.   Sounds like some dude trying to make extra cash without any training - ha!

//business idea: Pest Removal app like uber...  Use the app to request someone to remove an animal and anyone who wants to can sign up for the gig - ha!
 
2022-01-26 10:15:46 AM  
I'd be low-key terrified if I lived in Australia.

i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2022-01-26 10:21:51 AM  
I don't know about anyone else but when I was a toddler, I had an adult check under the bed for monsters.

I mean, I was a toddler. I didn't have any sort of skill-set for dealing with monsters.
 
2022-01-26 10:22:49 AM  
Nate Bargatze - How to Get Bitten By a Snake
Youtube Px6jFtw0pKU
 
2022-01-26 10:23:24 AM  
My 2-year-old specifically ripped the mattress off the frame to sleep on the floor so that there couldn't be any monsters under his bed.

I'm frankly amazed at his problem-solving skills.

/luckily we do not live in Australia
//last night he began asking questions about the tub drain and its ability to suck him down it.
///parenthood is a-w-e-s-o-m-e
 
2022-01-26 10:27:19 AM  

MusicMakeMyHeadPound: My 2-year-old specifically ripped the mattress off the frame to sleep on the floor so that there couldn't be any monsters under his bed.

I'm frankly amazed at his problem-solving skills.

/luckily we do not live in Australia
//last night he began asking questions about the tub drain and its ability to suck him down it.
///parenthood is a-w-e-s-o-m-e


That's what you get for reading Stephen King to him as a bedtime story.
 
2022-01-26 10:28:15 AM  

xxBirdMadGirlxx: I don't know about anyone else but when I was a toddler, I had an adult check under the bed for monsters.

I mean, I was a toddler. I didn't have any sort of skill-set for dealing with monsters.


Clearly you lacked proper training...

i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2022-01-26 10:32:09 AM  
You know when you were a toddler they told you to check for monsters under your bed before you go to sleep?

No.  I didn't grow up in your foster home.
 
2022-01-26 10:37:41 AM  

trappedspirit: You know when you were a toddler they told you to check for monsters under your bed before you go to sleep?

No.  I didn't grow up in your foster home.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-01-26 10:38:29 AM  
Was anyone waiting for the headline to conclude we should be checking under our beds for toddlers? Just me?
 
2022-01-26 10:38:45 AM  

fergusg: I went to Australia in 2001 and spent a couple of days with the astronomy club at their campground 3 hours out of Sydney. They had shacks with cots for us to sleep, but warned us to check our shoes for nopes before putting them on in the morning.

You quickly adopt their safety habits when you know there are poisonous nopes in the area.


Yup. If out of the metro area, always check. Never found anything in the boots in the morning. Have staggered out of the tent for a leak without shoes or torch. Got back in and out of curiosity shone a torch about... every square metre had a snake or scorpion. Was a warm 30 C minimum in the desert so makes sense. Now I always put the boots on for a leak after that.
 
2022-01-26 10:39:12 AM  

xxBirdMadGirlxx: That's what you get for reading Stephen King to him as a bedtime story.


That was partially my wife's reaction:  "You need to be at least 14 before you get to watch IT, not 10 or 11 like I was - that was way too young"

And he just went, "Huh?"
 
2022-01-26 10:40:42 AM  

Manic Depressive Mouse: Was anyone waiting for the headline to conclude we should be checking under our beds for toddlers? Just me?


Not a terrible idea after watching Pet Sematary...

i0.wp.comView Full Size
 
2022-01-26 10:46:13 AM  
The other way is to case the place using the 1" square vinyl tile as measuring aid, cut holes in tin foil roof, and slowly, ever so slowly, move a piece of tape over face of detector. Or just keep setting the system off until the police tell the owner to turn it off for the night.  The body language of this conversation is detectable from 3 blocks away. Sheetrock and 1/16 metal roofing is more decorative than anything. In a previous life Sexy Jesus used to wear an eye patch and roam the seas looking for plunder in the form of pawn shops, moneylenders and joint stock companies.  All others were given quarter, you gotta have a code or you're just a thief.
 
2022-01-26 10:50:06 AM  

Sexy Jesus: The other way is to case the place using the 1" square vinyl tile as measuring aid, cut holes in tin foil roof, and slowly, ever so slowly, move a piece of tape over face of detector. Or just keep setting the system off until the police tell the owner to turn it off for the night.  The body language of this conversation is detectable from 3 blocks away. Sheetrock and 1/16 metal roofing is more decorative than anything. In a previous life Sexy Jesus used to wear an eye patch and roam the seas looking for plunder in the form of pawn shops, moneylenders and joint stock companies.  All others were given quarter, you gotta have a code or you're just a thief.


Indeed, this is the best way to check for underbed monsters.
 
2022-01-26 10:53:40 AM  

HailRobonia: Sexy Jesus: The other way is to case the place using the 1" square vinyl tile as measuring aid, cut holes in tin foil roof, and slowly, ever so slowly, move a piece of tape over face of detector. Or just keep setting the system off until the police tell the owner to turn it off for the night.  The body language of this conversation is detectable from 3 blocks away. Sheetrock and 1/16 metal roofing is more decorative than anything. In a previous life Sexy Jesus used to wear an eye patch and roam the seas looking for plunder in the form of pawn shops, moneylenders and joint stock companies.  All others were given quarter, you gotta have a code or you're just a thief.

Indeed, this is the best way to check for underbed monsters.


Wrong thread, I'll just show myself out.
 
2022-01-26 11:05:12 AM  
Imagine being 5 again and finding out monsters DO hide under your bed. Cool story to tell the other kids and spread the love.
 
2022-01-26 11:10:28 AM  

MusicMakeMyHeadPound: My 2-year-old specifically ripped the mattress off the frame to sleep on the floor so that there couldn't be any monsters under his bed.

I'm frankly amazed at his problem-solving skills.

/luckily we do not live in Australia
//last night he began asking questions about the tub drain and its ability to suck him down it.
///parenthood is a-w-e-s-o-m-e


With my son I immediately cut off any talk of monsters or ghost by saying "nope, mommy and I bought this house because it was ghost/monster free, there aren't any"

I will do the same with the girls
 
2022-01-26 11:12:49 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-01-26 11:37:01 AM  

functionisalwaystaken: With my son I immediately cut off any talk of monsters or ghost by saying "nope, mommy and I bought this house because it was ghost/monster free, there aren't any"

I will do the same with the girls


He says he thinks ghosts and monsters are really cool. He's been super into Halloween since August (and still is) and we have some wonderfully cartoonish and very non-scary monster-themed books.

I suspect he feels a gap under the bed is a liability and so he's taken measures to deal with it.

All I know for sure is he made a commotion one night, so I went into his room to find the light on and he's pulling his mattress off the frame. I was curious what his plan was, so I helped him move it to the floor. He dusted off his hands, said, "Nothing under bed" and contentedly assumed the "tuck-me-in" position. I did that, turned off the lights and he went to sleep without a fuss. It became pretty clear that's how he wanted it to be so we dismantled his frame and it's a "permanent" arrangement now (frame's still in the basement in case he ever changes his mind).

That's my boy.
 
2022-01-26 11:52:58 AM  

steklo: big pig peaches: That was your dad.

Nope. Dad always worked late hours he was never home at night.

As a kid, I really wasn't afraid of "monsters"

However at the age of 12 or whatever, I saw the Exorcist movie and that scared the crap out of me for quite a while


*finger qoute* "worked late" *finger qoute*
 
2022-01-26 11:54:28 AM  
Sexy Jesus:

Wrong thread, I'll just show myself out.

It still works here.
 
2022-01-26 12:20:52 PM  

EdgeRunner: "They're normally pretty docile but in this case it was agitated and I did get bitten. It's normally out of a fear reaction, a defence mechanism rather than aggression.

You fool, it was trying to warn you about the giant koala spider hiding in the closet!


I read that as "giant kahlua spider" and got scared someone had found my bedroom stash.
 
2022-01-26 12:27:45 PM  

functionisalwaystaken: MusicMakeMyHeadPound: My 2-year-old specifically ripped the mattress off the frame to sleep on the floor so that there couldn't be any monsters under his bed.

I'm frankly amazed at his problem-solving skills.

/luckily we do not live in Australia
//last night he began asking questions about the tub drain and its ability to suck him down it.
///parenthood is a-w-e-s-o-m-e

With my son I immediately cut off any talk of monsters or ghost by saying "nope, mommy and I bought this house because it was ghost/monster free, there aren't any"

I will do the same with the girls


You bought a girls-free house? Son's gonna be piiiiissed.
 
2022-01-26 12:29:03 PM  

big pig peaches: steklo: big pig peaches: That was your dad.

Nope. Dad always worked late hours he was never home at night.

As a kid, I really wasn't afraid of "monsters"

However at the age of 12 or whatever, I saw the Exorcist movie and that scared the crap out of me for quite a while

*finger qoute* "worked late" *finger qoute*


Miss Quote being a quite buxom sales-rep.
 
Displayed 39 of 39 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking




On Twitter


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.