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(Slate)   "I lost my libido and now my husband is back on his sexual wrestling account"   (slate.com) divider line
    More: Strange, Anxiety, 2007 singles, Feeling, anxiety gets, 30th birthday dinner, first time, lot of self-doubt, new job  
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819 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 25 Jan 2022 at 8:55 AM (16 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



28 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-01-25 9:06:46 AM  
I used part of my Slate quota to find out what "Sexual Wrestling" was and apparently it's some kind of sexting roleplay?  Honestly I'm disappointed there isn't an underground homo-erotic softcore wrestling league.
 
2022-01-25 9:08:47 AM  

mike_d85: I used part of my Slate quota to find out what "Sexual Wrestling" was and apparently it's some kind of sexting roleplay?  Honestly I'm disappointed there isn't an underground homo-erotic softcore wrestling league.


Oh those videos weren't real then. Bummer.
 
2022-01-25 9:20:23 AM  

mike_d85: I used part of my Slate quota to find out what "Sexual Wrestling" was and apparently it's some kind of sexting roleplay?  Honestly I'm disappointed there isn't an underground homo-erotic softcore wrestling league.


It's called WWE and it's not underground.
 
2022-01-25 9:22:48 AM  
About a year ago, I found out my husband had created a fake Instagram account dedicated to role-playing with people interested in sexual wrestling.

Turning the corner of the dungeon you and your merry band of sexy wrestlers encounter a randy band of sexy Greco Roman Orcs.  They are greased up and ready to party.

Roll D20 for sexy wrestling initiative.
 
2022-01-25 9:27:16 AM  

brap: About a year ago, I found out my husband had created a fake Instagram account dedicated to role-playing with people interested in sexual wrestling.

Turning the corner of the dungeon you and your merry band of sexy wrestlers encounter a randy band of sexy Greco Roman Orcs.  They are greased up and ready to party.

Roll D20 for sexy wrestling initiative.


*rolls a 1*

"You just broke your dick."
 
2022-01-25 9:30:26 AM  
i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2022-01-25 9:34:50 AM  
This is one of those farked up situations, isn't it?

Two general issues:
1. Letter writer lost her mojo. This isn't an issue of fault per se, as it seems to be a combination of mental and physical aspects. It's something that just is.  But that's a challenge in a relationship, isn't it? If you entered into the relationship farking like bunnies and now you occasionally just offer the sad, disinterested handy now and then, you have fundamentally changed that aspect of the relationship without giving the partner any input (hehe, input). It's sad as all hell, but that's a potential deal breaker with no good guy/bad guy situation.

2. Letter writer and her husband have vastly different definitions of cheating. Again, neither is inherently wrong, it's just a matter of how each sees it. He sees it as a non-emotional fantasy (no physical contact, or even meeting in person, at least not without a luchador mask and cape in some back storage room where a wrestling ring erected (hehe, erected) from some old gym mats sadly waits for the occasional Tuesday night escape-from-the-wives man-on-man-but-totally-not-gay sexual wrestling action might or might not take place, where everyone goes by a pseudonym and is never officially known to their valiant, sweaty "competitors", but they depart and go back to their mundane lives, briefly pausing as they exchange an awkward glance with the guy in the F350 Powerstroke (hehe, powerstroke) who's fueling up at the same time as the husband. But no words, no love, just a fantasy shared. To him, that's not cheating.  Whereas to her, anything sexual in nature, even just in fantasy, can only be shared within the confines of the relationship or else it's cheating. And maybe she's even tried to get in on the role play, though he complains it's "just not the same" because she's just going through the motions, she doesn't really have the passion for the sport of sexual wrasslin' and she can't hide that.

So where was I?

Oh, right, a solution.  Well, best bet is for her to imagine farking his dad, or for him to imagine sexual wrestling her dad.  Or maybe butt stuff. Yes, some good ol' butt stuff should set things right.
 
2022-01-25 9:35:39 AM  
She won't be happy until he's unhappy?
 
2022-01-25 9:41:38 AM  

mike_d85: I used part of my Slate quota to find out what "Sexual Wrestling" was and apparently it's some kind of sexting roleplay?  Honestly I'm disappointed there isn't an underground homo-erotic softcore wrestling league.


Look up "rough body play".

/NTTAWWT
 
2022-01-25 9:43:15 AM  

eKonk: If you entered into the relationship farking like bunnies and now you occasionally just offer the sad, disinterested handy now and then


If even that.

And it's gotta be awful from his perspective - he gets all of her emotional drama, plus prostatic congestion, and there's no relief. He's trapped.

She can take the advice "When you feel clearer about your version of events and your expectations, you can start to negotiate with him about whether you two can continue to have a relationship, and on what terms."  but it shouldn't be surprising if that doesn't end well.
 
2022-01-25 9:43:47 AM  
About a year ago, I found out my husband had created a fake Instagram account dedicated to role-playing with people interested in sexual wrestling. I was heartbroken, as I saw it as cheating.

lol

Anyway, if nobody is cooking at home, you have to go out to eat.
 
2022-01-25 10:04:46 AM  
Lost your libido? Have you tried retracing your steps?
 
2022-01-25 10:08:49 AM  
FTFA
While it's not physical cheating, he is essentially sexting random people.

Oh honey, he's trying to physically cheat. Trust me
 
2022-01-25 10:34:01 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫
Come on - Come on - Come on
Pin me to the mat tonight
Come on - Come on - Come on
Suplex & make me feel alright
Sexual wrestling baby, is good for me
Sexual wresting is something that's good for me
♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫
 
2022-01-25 10:42:20 AM  

Fursecution: mike_d85: I used part of my Slate quota to find out what "Sexual Wrestling" was and apparently it's some kind of sexting roleplay?  Honestly I'm disappointed there isn't an underground homo-erotic softcore wrestling league.

Look up "rough body play".

/NTTAWWT


No, no, no.  I was hoping it would be small local wrestling clubs like this one in St. Louis, but they basically run on drag show humor.  All the banter is innuendo and sexual threats, all the finishing moves have a sexual link.

Actually, I think I could book this at night clubs.
 
2022-01-25 10:52:07 AM  
1) Buh Gawd, King, That Man Has A Family!: I heard "Sexual Wrestling" was Marvin Gaye's first draft.  We have a classic libido conflict here.  Now therapy may get you both past this, but I suspect you won't be open to non-monogamy and if he's not getting his needs met, it may be time to DTMFA.

2) Now When I Talk To God I Knew He He'd Understand: These atheists sound like intolerant and intolerable assholes.  Tell them to FRO.

3) And Then One Day You Find Ten Years Have Got Behind You: Sometimes you attend the party you have, not the party you want.  Celebrate with those who's company you enjoy, even if it's just a handful.

4) Doctor, Doctor, Give Me The News: Tell ma to STFU and MYOB again and with feeling.

5) I Wrote Her Off For The Tenth Time Today: DTMFA.

2a) Oh Well II: Do STFU.  That wasn't even an issue implied, let alone actually asked.

6) I'm Begging Of You, Please Don't Take My Man (Classic): DTMFA.  And take solace that it'll never really work out for them.
 
2022-01-25 10:52:56 AM  

oldfarthenry: [Fark user image 480x333]
♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫
Come on - Come on - Come on
Pin me to the mat tonight
Come on - Come on - Come on
Suplex & make me feel alright
Sexual wrestling baby, is good for me
Sexual wresting is something that's good for me
♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫


Dammit.  I just HAD to spend the time answering all the letters and by the time I did, my opening joke is taken.
 
2022-01-25 11:08:19 AM  
frinkiac.comView Full Size
 
2022-01-25 11:27:35 AM  
Protip: You can use whatever reason you want to explain why you've decided to stop having sex with your husband, but you're still getting divorced.
 
2022-01-25 11:30:00 AM  

gorauma: mike_d85: I used part of my Slate quota to find out what "Sexual Wrestling" was and apparently it's some kind of sexting roleplay?  Honestly I'm disappointed there isn't an underground homo-erotic softcore wrestling league.

Oh those videos weren't real then. Bummer.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-01-25 11:38:23 AM  
Mommy and daddy were just wrestling.
 
2022-01-25 11:48:23 AM  
A friend of my mother's broke up with a guy because she found out he was "into drugs and porn."  I didn't have the heart to tell her that it's the truly weird men who aren't into drugs and porn.
 
2022-01-25 12:53:41 PM  
I don't believe in cheating. But I also don't believe in marriage. This is why.
 
2022-01-25 1:14:29 PM  
You see this a lot, often with women. They lose their sex drive and refuse to acknowledge the severity of the issue, expecting the husband to just accept a sexless marriage. I'd also wager she considers porn and other such outlets are cheating as well.

She should have been in therapy long ago, both with and without her husband. You can't just expect an otherwise healthy young person to go 2 years without sex, she should have discussed and condoned other activities her husband could use as a sexual outlet long ago.
 
2022-01-25 1:41:32 PM  

ReapTheChaos: You see this a lot, often with women. They lose their sex drive and refuse to acknowledge the severity of the issue, expecting the husband to just accept a sexless marriage. I'd also wager she considers porn and other such outlets are cheating as well.

She should have been in therapy long ago, both with and without her husband. You can't just expect an otherwise healthy young person to go 2 years without sex, she should have discussed and condoned other activities her husband could use as a sexual outlet long ago.


This.  You're not entitled to sex in a marriage but you're also not expected to go two years without gratification. I feel sorry for both of them.
 
2022-01-25 5:22:55 PM  
this sort of thing turns up on slate a lot. must not be the kind of farking going on out there that telev ision would have one believe

they say if you put a penny in a jar each time you fark during your first year of marriage and then take a penny out every time you fark for the rest of your life you will never empty the jar
but... that just may be some old boomer bullshiat back when people got married at 19 and everyone maintained the fiction that you werent going to fark until then.

/did not rtfa
//why would i?
 
2022-01-25 5:25:55 PM  
Libido and sexual dysfunction are just brutal problems for a couple. Your answers aren't to be found/solved in an advice column but with a medical doctor and probably a group therapist together.
 
2022-01-25 8:51:45 PM  

xanadian: brap: About a year ago, I found out my husband had created a fake Instagram account dedicated to role-playing with people interested in sexual wrestling.

Turning the corner of the dungeon you and your merry band of sexy wrestlers encounter a randy band of sexy Greco Roman Orcs.  They are greased up and ready to party.

Roll D20 for sexy wrestling initiative.

*rolls a 1*

"You just broke your dick."


img.hulu.comView Full Size

Don't get ahead of yourself, well-hung Paladin with a weird dong snapping fetish.

It was an initiative roll.  We're just trying to discern the order of potential dickbreaking.

The actual dickbreaking will happen during the failed sexy wrestling rolls.  And could you stop breaking those pretzel rods in half it's driving me bonkers and my mom is so anal she will make me vacuum this park.
 
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