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(Fox News)   A group of witnesses have mastered the art of understatement, saying that the parachutist "landed much quicker than expected"   (foxnews.com) divider line
    More: Dumbass, Fox Broadcasting Company, Mutual fund, All rights reserved, Hotel, Coral Springs, Florida, Broward County, Florida, Fox News Channel, parachute jump  
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3586 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Jan 2022 at 9:05 PM (17 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



42 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-01-23 3:57:17 PM  
Good to the last drop.
 
2022-01-23 5:42:55 PM  
64.media.tumblr.comView Full Size
 
2022-01-23 7:10:46 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-01-23 7:50:07 PM  
*click*

"Florida man saves wiener dog from bear" video at the head of the page... So... DRTFA
 
2022-01-23 8:15:43 PM  
 
2022-01-23 9:11:04 PM  
Uncontrolled de-escalation is the name of my Toad And The Wet Sprockets tribute bagpipe orchestra.
 
2022-01-23 9:13:48 PM  

Unobtanium: This link https://wsvn.com/news/local/broward/officials-parachutist-hospitalized-after-jump-from-top-of-fort-lauderdale-hotel-was-performing-film-stunt/ says it was movie stunt.


Did they get the shot, at least?
 
2022-01-23 9:14:04 PM  
FTA: I'm going to have a level one trauma, all male,

So he landed on his all male? Yowch.
 
2022-01-23 9:15:15 PM  
I believe that technique is known as "geobraking".
 
2022-01-23 9:16:22 PM  
CLICK HERE TO GET THE FOX NEWS APP


Speaking of suicidal acts....
 
2022-01-23 9:16:34 PM  

Munden: [Fark user image 500x211] [View Full Size image _x_]


Anytime someone in a movie or show jumps off a 2-4 storey roof into a dumpster full of trash bags, all I can think about is the large amount of sharp things, glass, and hard-cornered objects I put into the trash.  I guess if the alternative is dying at the hand of whoever is chasing you, you're willing to risk a dumpster full of glass jars, broken wood, and bent nails.
 
2022-01-23 9:17:17 PM  

Tom Marvolo Bombadil: I believe that technique is known as "geobraking".


Giving the altimeter a hard reset.
 
2022-01-23 9:18:01 PM  
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
 
2022-01-23 9:18:02 PM  
BASE jumping is a weird, dangerous sport. You have to get up high enough to be dangerous, but low enough to doubt the chute. Or maybe the other way around.
 
2022-01-23 9:28:03 PM  
He experienced a sustained vertical dive.
 
2022-01-23 9:30:58 PM  

cretinbob: [64.media.tumblr.com image 320x240] [View Full Size image _x_]


I tried that when I was a kid, only with wings I built and from only a few feet high.
 
2022-01-23 9:31:03 PM  
64.media.tumblr.comView Full Size
 
2022-01-23 9:35:02 PM  

Tom Marvolo Bombadil: I believe that technique is known as "geobraking".


The correct term is 'lithobreaking'
 
2022-01-23 9:41:42 PM  
Human lawn dart?

Floridian human lawn dart!
 
2022-01-23 9:46:05 PM  

toraque: Tom Marvolo Bombadil: I believe that technique is known as "geobraking".

The correct term is 'lithobreaking'


We call it ground surfing.
 
2022-01-23 9:55:41 PM  
The man was later transported to hospital by paramedics where the status of his injuries remain unclear for the moment.

I hope they transported him by hot air balloon.  Fit the medicine to the man.
 
2022-01-23 9:58:44 PM  
Who could have imagined that in a coastal town the wind could be a factor in a base jump off a building?
 
2022-01-23 9:58:46 PM  

toraque: Tom Marvolo Bombadil: I believe that technique is known as "geobraking".

The correct term is 'lithobreaking'


Twitch.

Lithobraking.
 
2022-01-23 10:02:32 PM  
BASE = Balls And shiatbetween Ears
 
2022-01-23 10:08:30 PM  
"For sale. Parachute. Used once. Never opened. Small stain on cover."

From a TV show called "Real People."
 
2022-01-23 10:14:02 PM  
plan a
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size

head .
 
2022-01-23 10:17:03 PM  
Parachute from a Fr. Lauderdale hotel? Why not from a tall tree and cut out the middle, man?
 
2022-01-23 10:28:58 PM  

toraque: Tom Marvolo Bombadil: I believe that technique is known as "geobraking".

The correct term is 'lithobreaking'


I thought when a 'chutist crashed it was called a 'bounce'?
Might be oldtimer's term from the '70s.
 
2022-01-23 10:58:25 PM  
39 is old for a Base jumper.

I chuckle sensibly everytime one of them splatters themselves on the ground or the side of a  mountain.
 
2022-01-23 10:58:44 PM  
pyxis.nymag.comView Full Size

"Like a ... bag of wet cement. Oh the humanity"
 
2022-01-23 11:02:56 PM  

Unobtanium: This link https://wsvn.com/news/local/broward/officials-parachutist-hospitalized-after-jump-from-top-of-fort-lauderdale-hotel-was-performing-film-stunt/ says it was movie stunt.


What a Jackass.
 
2022-01-23 11:18:24 PM  
In stories like this, even though it doesn't make much of a difference in my life, but I'd still like to know if the parachute didn't open completely and the guy came down hard and broke a leg, or if the parachute just snagged on something and the guy came down REALLY hard and broke 30 bones in his body.
 
2022-01-23 11:24:30 PM  

wildcardjack: BASE jumping is a weird, dangerous sport. You have to get up high enough to be dangerous, but low enough to doubt the chute. Or maybe the other way around.


And BASE jumpers are super anal about equipment and packing. You pack a BASE rig like a reserve. Then they push it by taking more delay. As an old who was around for it's inception, I'd say the sneaking around is a huge part of the appeal in the US, where it's mostly illegal.  You go to Norway and it's basically a long, expensive, inconvenient skydive.
 
2022-01-23 11:27:22 PM  

big pig peaches: 39 is old for a Base jumper.

I chuckle sensibly everytime one of them splatters themselves on the ground or the side of a  mountain.


I knew a guy who got busted at Yosemite by jumping right into the meadow at sunset. Instead of taking the ticket (and losing the rig which is why you took a garbage one) he decided to jump in the river to get away. They didn't recover his body for a couple months. RIP Frank, you stupid fark.
 
2022-01-23 11:31:01 PM  

dickrickulous: toraque: Tom Marvolo Bombadil: I believe that technique is known as "geobraking".

The correct term is 'lithobreaking'

We call it ground surfing.


I call it "terminal velocity"
 
2022-01-24 12:12:12 AM  

Fano: [pyxis.nymag.com image 540x540]
"Like a ... bag of wet cement. Oh the humanity"


With God as my witness, I thought BASE jumpers could flare!
 
2022-01-24 12:15:36 AM  

Resident Muslim: In stories like this, even though it doesn't make much of a difference in my life, but I'd still like to know if the parachute didn't open completely and the guy came down hard and broke a leg, or if the parachute just snagged on something and the guy came down REALLY hard and broke 30 bones in his body.


Speaking of which, that's the only reason I clicked, to see how hurt the guy was.
No details.
I kept scrolling down, expecting to find something, until I reached the comments.
Then I started reading the comments...and AOC this and Pelosi that and I was all WTH?!
Then I glanced up and saw that I was in FauxNews
 
2022-01-24 12:16:27 AM  
than who expected subby?
 
2022-01-24 1:58:08 AM  
Talk about jumping to a conclusion.....
 
2022-01-24 2:26:57 AM  

Resident Muslim: In stories like this, even though it doesn't make much of a difference in my life, but I'd still like to know if the parachute didn't open completely and the guy came down hard and broke a leg, or if the parachute just snagged on something and the guy came down REALLY hard and broke 30 bones in his body.


The video shows him turning all the way to the ground, with a perfectly open and maneuverable chute. Turning increases the sink rate a lot, so it's a good thing BASE canopies are relatively large and docile. I'm guessing he either turned into the wind too late, or chose a bad landing or exit spot with regards to the wind.
 
2022-01-24 10:29:34 AM  

Resident Muslim: I was in FauxNews


A link to that place guarantees a DNRTFA for me. No clicks for them.
 
2022-01-24 10:31:32 AM  
32fps per second.
 
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